Pharm with kids?

[new2pharm]

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I'm about to start first year pharm school in august. my two kids will be 5 months and 2 years. are there any parents in this forum who can tell me what to expect? is it extremely hard to maintain family and pharm coursework? i have been a sahm for the past two years, so i know i am in for a shock being away from my kids, but any advice on how to keep my kids from calling their nanny mommy?

 

[OkiePharmD]

Hello, First congrats on getting accepted!
I have four kids and they are older. 10,11, 13, and 14. Now that I look back I think that I should have started school when they were younger. Its my personal opinion that most daycares are awful so look hard and long and be very very picky. If you have a family member or friend to watch the babies thats even better. As long as they are being loved and getting the attention they need to thrive theyll be okay.
You are going to be able to provide for their future and sometimes the unselfish thing to do is leave them with someone else. (as long as its a wonderful someone else) Especially, in our economy where a gallon of milk is almost $5!
I recently took a developmental psych class and it seemed that the neccesity is a close bond...if your kids have a great nanny that they love than I think that they will grow up healthy and strong and you have many many years to create memories with them. JMHO. I know it must hurt to leave them but it depends on how you look at it.
My husband works hard...does the job of three men. But its physical labor. Im going to school to get us out of the trap we are in. He is making as much as he can with what he is doing. We need a way out and pharmacy school is the answer to our financial future and that of our childrens. Examples: Just 15 years ago a generic box of corn flakes was under a dollar, now the same box is almost three. Dry beans have gone from about 65 cents to a dollar 65 cents. That doesnt sound like a big deal but when everything is going up like this I shudder to think what the near future holds. Another example: Our utilities have increased by at least 100 and our wages have not increased.
Go to school, know what you are there for, be proud and know that you wont have to worry about buying your babies food. You are most likely spending a lot on diapers now, maybe formula...I had three babies in daipers at one time and thought it was high!!! Now, I have boys that are starving all the time and wow its expensive.
OK Im babbling on but my point is, you have a fantastic oppurtunity. Grab it. pull it close. embrace it and good Lord girl enjoy it without guilt. Good luck.

People that say money isnt everything are right but fighting every month to pay the basics is no way to live either. I know that there are more important things than a big paycheck but thats hard to remember when my kids need braces, we have doctor bills to pay, food, shoes and clothes to buy. What about sports? If one of them wants to play football do you say "no honey we cant afford it but dont fret because we have love and thats the most important thing afterall" Try convincing a 10 year old of that! Try telling your teenage daughter they have to buy their prom dress at Goodwill. DOnt get me wrong. I am very blessed and we have what we need and some of what we want. We alwas seem to manage but DAMN!!!

 

[SexyPlexi]

I don't have any kids, and I am not in pharmacy school yet...BUT I can give you some perspective from another angle. My mom went to nursing school when I was young. I was 7 when she graduated and it took her 6 years total. We have no family here so we had babysitters sometimes, went to school with her sometimes, we went to preschool at a church for much of the time...I was so little I hardly noticed that she was probably worried about the same things and working so hard. She found plenty of time for us and the fact that she went to school when I was young has virtually no impact on my memories of growing up. My mom is wonderful and I feel only positive about the things she did then. She must have worked so hard! She was following her dream AND working to make us a better living that helped provide Catholic school for my sister and me, TONS of ballet lessons and pointe shoes and leotards, etc...pretty much everything I had after that. And now whenever I feel discouraged over a bump in my road to becoming a pharmacist, I can talk to my mom about it and she says (lol she just emailed me at that instant to console me over a rough test today actually) - it will be ok and you can do it. OR I think...my mom did it...my dad did it too (nursing and engineering, but still difficult of course) and that makes me realize that I can do this.

So...in short, they probably won't notice as long as you really are there emotionally for them and make time for them. My mom said she was always worried and never wanted us to think school was more important than we were and she must have accomplished that goal because I don't feel that way at all.

 

[taken2]

Don't worry, it is not that bad. The most important thing is to know what is most important to you. I have two kids and they were 1 and 3 yrs old when I started pharm school in 2006. I take them to daycare every morning and pick them up at 6.30 pm. I usually stay behind in school to study after classes everyday because I don't have any help. My husband works offshore and he is always gone, so I try to utilize my time very well. I am in P2 now, and have done well so far. Last semester was the most challenging for me because we had 8.00 am classes 5 days a week and I live like miles away from school. It takes me about an hour and half in rush hour traffic to get to school every morning. So don't worry about your kids calling your nanny mommy, just don't let the nanny play the role of their mommy. If you go to school in another city, make sure you talk to them everyday and go home at every chance you get. I have people in my class that live in the same house with their kids and they don't get to see them in weeks. I don't believe pharm school will take the place of my kids in my life. You can do both but it all depends on how you choose to do them. I've had to miss late evening tutorials because I have to pick up my kids but I always have friends record the lectures for me. I've lost study groups because everyone is in school in the evenings and they end up getting together with other groups because I am not there but I have no regrets and I wouldn't change anything about the last two years in pharm school. I might not have a 4.0 GPA but I am glad to have the balance I have now.

 

[rxlynn]

I'm about to start first year pharm school in august. my two kids will be 5 months and 2 years. are there any parents in this forum who can tell me what to expect? is it extremely hard to maintain family and pharm coursework? i have been a sahm for the past two years, so i know i am in for a shock being away from my kids, but any advice on how to keep my kids from calling their nanny mommy?

My biggest piece of advise is that you must be prepared to manage your time very well! From the moment that I start getting assignments at the beginning of the semester, I start thinking about what I can do then and not wait until the very last minute to do little projects. That in turn gives me time to study for the big tests when I need to be studying. It is an extremely rare day that I am not doing something for school (in addition to just going to class) - I look at it as pretty much a 7 day a week commitment except for summer. Unless you are in a 3 year program, you will probably have most (if not all) of the summer off - that will be a good break for you and the kids. Also, yours are small enough that they should still be sleeping a lot at night, so you will be able to get some good study time in after you get them to bed.

 

[Hels2007]

A close friend of mine gave birth in the middle of our P-2 year. Another gal was a single mom whose daughter was 8 or 9 when we started. Another one had a baby at the end of P-1 year. Everyone managed, and did well, and is happy and successful. Best luck to you! 🙂

 

[RxWildcat]

There are several people in our class with children, they all seem to manage fairly well. I don't have any kids but I can tell you that pharmacy school can and will take up a BIG chunk of your time, even outside of class.

 

[Farmercyst]

No advice, for that aspect. Fortunately my wife can stay at home with them. The kids don't call her daddy, so I'm safe.

I do have 2 kids (going on 2 and 4) so I could discuss other aspects, but not the mommy replacement part. Sorry.

 

[avgjoe1977]

I'm almost finished with my P2 year, and my kids are 2 and 4. It's a little different situation, as my wife stays home with our kids, but I spend as much time with them as I possibly can. Stay up with whatever assignments you have (do them as soon as you get them), don't put things off... it seems the semester gets busier the closer you get to the end. Remember that your kids are the most important thing. I usually end up doing the lion's share of my studying in the morning, so I can spend the afternoons with my kids. It will all go by faster than you think, so don't worry so much about school as long as you're passing..... and enjoy your kids as much as you can, because they grow up fast. I don't feel like I've neglected my family by any means, and I have made mostly A's in my classes, and just got invited to join Rho Chi (granted, I'm not very involved with very many on campus organizations, but we are very active in our church).

 

[Allure]

There is a woman in my class in her early 40's. She is about 7 hours from her home and her 2 kids (10 and 13). She comes home only on breaks. It must be hard, but she seems to manage well. She goes to almost all of the parties..lol...There are a few other people in my class with kids and they party pretty hard, which I'm pretty surprised. I thought they'd be the ones that stay home and study only.

 

[njac]

seems like half our class has kids. and just shy of 10% are currently knocked up.


most of them seem to do well enough.

 

[norafena]

Just make sure to spend some QUALITY time with them, and have a trusted babysitter.
Try to Free yourself from guilt because kids do pick up on that.
They better have a happy part time mommy, than a miserable mom all day.
Go for it, keep going forward, look for great care for your kids, work on back-up plans, and do your best at school and at home. One day your kids will appreciate what you are doing now and look up at you.
Good luck.

 

[heatherkmd]

I am a P-1, our kids are 6 and 8 and we are doing very well. I have a wonderfully supportive husband who understands when I have my crazy weeks and does what he can to make it easier for me. It works well, I put off going to Pharm school until they were this age and I timed it perfectly because my daughter started Kindergarden this year and we don't have to pay daycare!!! Most days I drop them off at school and almost always pick them up too. I do have the occasional late labs where my Dad or sister picks them up. We are fortunate to live close to family. I am overwhelmed at times, but it always seems to get done and no one gets neglected in the meantime. I refuse to study on campus every night. I instead usually get most of my studying done after the kids are in bed at 8pm. The secret is all about time management and not wasting time. It is a challenge to take care of a house, family, and husband but it also gives you more motivation to do well. Now, the craziest and hardest times are when the kids are sick and you have 3 exams in one week....what is that saying "Whatever doesn't kill you, just makes you stronger..." I have had those weeks already but you get thru them. I agree with someone else who already said, the kids grow up wayyy too fast and that is why I do what I can at school and study when they are asleep because I don't want school to be a higher priority than them at all. You can do it, you just have to be creative, and have a delicate balance to make it all work. Having the supportive husband/partner/friends/family is a must. Good luck, and congrats to you on your acceptance!

 

[PMart]

I am a P4 (I graduate this May 😀), when I started pharmacy school my kids were 3 and 6. The hardest part was getting used to juggling everything school, husband, kids, and of course laundry. The first semester was tough getting used to, I too was a SAHM and at first it was a huge shock being away from my babies, but you learn to squeeze everything in somehow. By the second semester I had learned to manage my time. You will be fine and I think it will be easier on you since your children are younger. Just think of how proud they will be when you graduate, my two girls can't wait to go to my graduation.

Oh and lots of people in my class have kids and many more were pregnant while in pharmacy school believe it or not 3 women in my class had their third child while in pharmacy school. (One of the three had baby #2 and #3 while in school lol)

Best of Luck
PMart

 

[labrat024]

I'm about to start first year pharm school in august. my two kids will be 5 months and 2 years. are there any parents in this forum who can tell me what to expect? is it extremely hard to maintain family and pharm coursework? i have been a sahm for the past two years, so i know i am in for a shock being away from my kids, but any advice on how to keep my kids from calling their nanny mommy?

I have a similar situation on my hands too. I start my first year of pharmacy school in September and my wife is due September 27th! It will be a crazy acclimation process for sure.....the strenuous course load, taking care of the young one, and still giving the wife attention. It will also be difficult because we will be living off one income. We are lucky that we have tons of family and friends that have already offered to baby sit while we are at school or work.....should save us tons of money and worries about the quality of the baby's care.

 

[Amanda C]

I am a single mom, and working toward either optometry or pharm school right now. It's rough thinking about being away/busy for such long stretches at a time, but like many above posters said, it's worth it.

I am going to put myself through professional school for many reasons, but the first and most important is for my daughter. We live with my parents right now, and the only other way I'd be able to move out and start my own life is if I got married. HA! That's just not how I want my life to be. I'd rather work hard and be independent. Plus, when my daughter was first born I was 19 and a high school drop out, and I'm sort of proving to myself that I can pull through and make something out of myself. (I ended up getting my GED and about 1.5 years away from professional school!!)

Sorry for my rant. It makes me glad to see others on here who are parents, knowing that they struggle with the same feelings that I do.

Good luck, and congratulations for getting into Pharmacy school!

 

[sbrin]

hi every1,

i just recently found out i am pregnant, and i will be due at the end of the year. i am just starting pharm in the fall...how hard will it be? are there ways to stay home as much as possible a.k.a. miss some classes and study on your own? of course you have to be there for labs, etc. but what about lectures? i am just so overwhelmed and scared and excited and everything all rolled into 1....i appreciate any advice

 

[Gizmo]

hi every1,

i just recently found out i am pregnant, and i will be due at the end of the year. i am just starting pharm in the fall...how hard will it be? are there ways to stay home as much as possible a.k.a. miss some classes and study on your own? of course you have to be there for labs, etc. but what about lectures? i am just so overwhelmed and scared and excited and everything all rolled into 1....i appreciate any advice

You should contact your school or talk with current pharm students at your school since they'll be able to tell you if attendance is mandatory or if professors are likely to cut you breaks.

 

[aboveliquidice]

hi every1,

i just recently found out i am pregnant, and i will be due at the end of the year. i am just starting pharm in the fall...how hard will it be? are there ways to stay home as much as possible a.k.a. miss some classes and study on your own? of course you have to be there for labs, etc. but what about lectures? i am just so overwhelmed and scared and excited and everything all rolled into 1....i appreciate any advice

You should seriously consider deferring your acceptance for one year... The first year can be accomplished by someone whose spouse is pregnant - but I have never seen a woman who successfully negotiated a 1st year proffesional program, giving birth at mid year. It simply isn't done. Maybe not because you couldn't - but more like why would you want to... Do yourself a favor - and figure it out now.

~above~

 

[jasmine0211]

In my pharmacy class, there were 2 guys with kids. They both had 3 or 4 kids (Ages 2 - 10) and commuted to school, which is about 45 minutes one way

They told me they also worked part-time. I hardly saw them in class but our class was very supportive of one another. They made close friends with people who went to class everyday and asked notes from them.



They graduated🙂

 

[Farmercyst]

In my pharmacy class, there were 2 guys with kids. They both had 3 or 4 kids (Ages 2 - 10) and commuted to school, which is about 45 minutes one way

They told me they also worked part-time. I hardly saw them in class but our class was very supportive of one another. They made close friends with people who went to class everyday and asked notes from them.



They graduated🙂

I've got 2 myself, but it's one thing to be a guy with kids and to be a pregnant female having a kid potentially at/near finals.

Depending on how the pregnancy proceeds it may be difficult at best. I think deferral may be best. Consult with the school to see if they will let you start and see how it goes and make a decision by x weeks into school if it doesn't seem like it's working out. They would probably have to make exceptions for finals if you give birth at that time, but you would want to get all this stuff up front and not surprise them with it when morning sickness starts to rear its ugly head.

 

[njac]

so far I think at least one girl from our class has given birth each semester, they seem to do well enough. I didn't see any of them in the Rho Chi announcements, but I'm pretty sure none of them are in danger of failing.

 

[njac]

You should seriously consider deferring your acceptance for one year... The first year can be accomplished by someone whose spouse is pregnant - but I have never seen a woman who successfully negotiated a 1st year proffesional program, giving birth at mid year. It simply isn't done. Maybe not because you couldn't - but more like why would you want to... Do yourself a favor - and figure it out now.

~above~

I have. one girl started our first year at least 5 months pregnant - I think she had the baby in November. She was looking pretty uncomfortable by the end of her pregnancy but she made it through and is still in our class...

but I don't thnk any of these girls took more than 2 weeks off after having the baby, if that even.

 

[All4MyDaughter]

I'm about to start first year pharm school in august. my two kids will be 5 months and 2 years. are there any parents in this forum who can tell me what to expect? is it extremely hard to maintain family and pharm coursework? i have been a sahm for the past two years, so i know i am in for a shock being away from my kids, but any advice on how to keep my kids from calling their nanny mommy?

My daughter has never mistaken anyone else for her Mommy.

 

[heatherkmd]

We also had a classmate that started Fall about 5 months and had the baby the day before Spring started back....she missed the first two weeks of the Spring semester but has caught up and is doing well. It is not easy, but usually the things worth doing never are! I don't think you HAVE to defer your starting school....you will just have to be creative about how you swing things. I agree you need to communicate with your school now. I know our school encouraged her to defer but she didn't and I wouldn't have either. Also, she has a great deal of family support so that always helps. Good luck in making your decision.

And I too have to say that my kids know who their MOmmy is too and I talk them to school and pick them up most days and still go thru the after school snack and homework routine......it is not easy but we manage ok. 🙂