Planning a baby?

[CamBam]

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Hi everyone,

My wife and I are talking about starting a family. I am a MS2 and she is a grad student with two semesters left. Though there are many postings on here and other sites about becoming moms while in med school, any thoughts about being a dad? I would love to hear some other perspectives of those who did it, are doing it, knew someone who did it, etc, or anyone else who wants to weigh in.

Thanks!

 

[OneTyme]

Hi everyone,

My wife and I are talking about starting a family. I am a MS2 and she is a grad student with two semesters left. Though there are many postings on here and other sites about becoming moms while in med school, any thoughts about being a dad? I would love to hear some other perspectives of those who did it, are doing it, knew someone who did it, etc, or anyone else who wants to weigh in.

Thanks!

The one thing that I've heard, "wait until after school or at soonest 4th year." From what I've seen, it's pretty spot on advice....

 

[duckie99]

The one thing that I've heard, "wait until after school or at soonest 4th year." From what I've seen, it's pretty spot on advice....

It'll be tough for your during 3rd year med school that's for sure. However it'll be even harder during residency...

I've known several people who've had children and been fathers during school and they all seem to be doing well. Who knows for real though. IMO if your wife can devout all the necessary time I think you guys will be fine. The thing is that time will always be an issue with your career and you're not getting any younger. So if you feel ready and can financially and emotionally support a child, go for it.

 

[modsar]

I'm and MS2 and my husband is in his 2nd year of engeneering school (second degree). We decided we wanted to have a family, and aimed for a due date towards the end of 2nd year. We're now pregnant and expecting this Feburary.

The best time to have a baby (in my opinion) is when you and your wife feel ready. You will know if you are capable of the added responsibilities. I am glad we didn't wait for the "right" time during med school, because I'm sure that would never have come. We were ready for a family, and now extremely excited about the baby😍

I would also talk with your school about their policies regarding any paternity leave or any exceptions you might need. Although, luckily, you wont have to go through the pregnancy, recovery or breastfeeding-- but your wife may need extra help while she is super pregnant or recovering. Women may not be allowed to drive (up to six weeks after a C-section), she may be extremely tired, sore, sick etc... and would you need to miss school to take her to doctors etc? ..... What if the baby is sick? Will you take off school when your wife is in the hospital? Will your school accomodate your choice of rotations so you can be near the wife and baby (especially around the due date).

Good luck!!!!

 

[fahimaz7]

4th year male here. My wife and I welcomed our first baby last week! Sounds like a good time to have a baby. I get 4 months off between now and the start of residency, and I will have 0 call and no overnight shifts.

Can't beat that.

 

[ygree001]

I'm a third year and my daughter (our 1st) is 3 months old. My wife is not in medicine but works full time. There is never going to be a perfect time, you will just have to make it work. That said, you need to have a plan. I was able to use a month of vacation, and my wife got 3 months of maternity leave. When I went back to school, she spent a couple weeks at her mother's house for help because I was not able to get up at night anymore. If she has a C section or a difficult recovery, she may need full time help for a while, depending on your family/support system.
And of course, you need a plan for child care. One last thing to think about is what your finances will look like afterwards. Make sure you have enough room to budget for child care, diapers, formula, etc etc. Both the initial big expenses like stroller and car seat, and all the day to day things you have no idea you will end up needing.
It's been wonderful, btu it will certainly change your life. You can do it, but it will take a lot of planning.
Feel free to PM me with any specific questions.

 

[Rendar5]

As everyone has said, there is absolutely no "good time" to have a baby as a med student, a resident, or an attending. So just have the baby when you feel you want to have a baby.

 

[painmd87]

Two important things:
1) If you wait until you're ready to have kids, you'll never have kids.

2) If you wait until you can afford to have kids, you'll never have kids.

Even the best laid plans are routinely shot to hell by circumstances. No matter how well you think you're going to plan your progeny, something will go against your plans.

I'm an MS2 and my wife is due with our second next week. She works full time, and we have a great daycare/school that's between my house and my school. Knowing that there are other people counting on me to succeed is the biggest motivator to my studies. I realize that 3rd year will be more difficult, but if not now, then when?

PM me with any questions, if you'd like.

 

[Geekchick921]

Two important things:
1) If you wait until you're ready to have kids, you'll never have kids.

2) If you wait until you can afford to have kids, you'll never have kids.

Even the best laid plans are routinely shot to hell by circumstances. No matter how well you think you're going to plan your progeny, something will go against your plans.

I'm an MS2 and my wife is due with our second next week. She works full time, and we have a great daycare/school that's between my house and my school. Knowing that there are other people counting on me to succeed is the biggest motivator to my studies. I realize that 3rd year will be more difficult, but if not now, then when?

PM me with any questions, if you'd like.

Ditto all of this. I had our second baby days after I finished gross anatomy last year (he's almost 1!). There will never be an ideal time (though some times are worse than others), so you make it work when you want.

Painmd, I didn't know you were expecting another baby! Congrats!!!