Please advice… I do not want to start my fellowship

[confusedpedi]

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I got into a fellowship in another state mid-2013 to start July of this year- initially I was really excited. Since then I had a baby and my husband and I are in trouble- we are getting separated. I am also really doubting my decision to go into this field. What can I do at this point if I do not want to start my fellowship? Should I contact the PD? I feel awful thinking about the amount of trouble I would cause this fellowship program- I know a lot of people will look down on me, rightfully. I am afraid by quitting at this point I would make a lot enemies and no one would want to hire me in primary care. During my med school and residency I was really focused on getting into this fellowship, so I do not know a lot of people in primary care field besides the docs from my program- I don’t know if they would help me after I quit. Any advice would be appreciated.

 

[Homunculus]

yes, contact the PD. they are human, not robots, and would prefer you to tell them sooner than later. it may give them time to find an alternate. they would much prefer this over having you start and struggle and then quit. who knows, maybe if they like you enough they will defer it a couple of years.

life happens. if your program is full of people that can't understand that, I feel bad for you. there are plenty of programs and people that understand these things happen. pediatrics in general has fewer @ssholes and personality disorders that other specialties have-- not that you won't run into them but in general we tend to be compassionate friendly people.

and getting a job-- no one is going to blackball you based on making a life decision like this unless you've burned several bridges in your career-- which I doubt you have at this point.

my advice is to be frank and honest, do what is best for you and your baby, find a support system, and reboot and re-enter the fray. it'll still be waiting for you, lol.

good luck

--your friendly neighborhood been there/done that caveman