I am so sorry no one responded to you! It sounds like you are having a really crappy time. Hopefully you were able to get yourself into a better place/state of mind but either way. You can do this! I know all the feelings you bring up here all too well! And I think most medical students do, though most schools (or at least in my experiences) have a culture where admitting your imperfections or struggles are frowned upon. Even if everyone is feeling bad. #1: Forget what other people will think! This education of yours is NOT about them, it's about you getting the education you need, deserve and are paying very high prices for, to become an awesome doctor! I know that ignoring your pride and what others think is very hard, and the only reason I give it as advice is because I am very bad at it. But if you can try and ignore that for the time being and focus on yourself. You'll be much better off. #2: Feeling really bummed about not doing well and living up to the potential you know you can is a totally normal and valid reaction. BUT, as med students, we often are under immense pressure and stress and often judge ourselves harshly for not being "as good" as we think we should be at all times. Try to be nice to yourself! And think about going to the school therapist or psychiatrist. Many people in medical school have managed many things in there lives but the constant stress brings up a much higher vulnerability to clinical depression, and if you don't deal with that now, things will just get harder.
If you fail Biochemistry, it won't be the end of the world! The only thing you can do now is try the best you can. If it's not good enough, you will learn from it. And yeah, it might be a mark on your record, but if you use the experience (and hopefully will get a break to actually process this) to learn from it and figure out what about biochem went wrong it will probably be a blessing in disguise that it wasn't farther down the road with a class that people will be more interested in looking for a good grade in. If you have connected with a professor (in Biochem or not) and could sit with them for an hour or two and talk about what you think the problem was they could probably point out how you can change up your studying habits to make them more flexible. I struggled my first year, but never ended up failing a class, so I didn't have as much of an incentive to make any changes. I just thought 2nd year was supposed to be better so it will be. But once I came back for the 2nd year, and hadn't changed my study habits or spent time figuring out why certain things were so hard for me things kind of fell apart. It's good you are getting this out of the way now! It will make you a better medical student in the long run, and a better doctor! Good doctors can't have everything easy. =) Just my humble opinion I suppose.
