Had a patient in the ER with enalapril angioedema, in talking through the DDx we were talking about hereditary angioedema, which is due to a C1 esterase inhibitor deficiency. Also we had a conversation about the infection risk of a patient S/P splenectomy and related it back to opsonin production in the spleen (including C3b), which accounts for the increased susceptibility to encapsulated organism infection. For the record, I didn't catch either of those things until I'd had it explained/reminded to me. Was pretty interesting, actually. I like stuff like that.
One thing I will admit is that I've been surprised by how much of medicine is just unknown. Like, we know kind of what's going on, but don't have a sophisticated enough understanding even with all the research and literature out there to really understand it. It's so multifactorial and variable and complex that really, we only have a pretty superficial understanding of what's going on in our patients at any given time, I'm learning. And a shockingly high percentage of our treatment options exist not to cure the disease, not to even treat anything specific, but rather because we've just observed that it works, and we'd therefore be remiss if we didn't offer it to patients, even though we don't know why it works. Steroids. We give ****ing steroids to everyone and their mother. Definitely don't know why it helps. Why? Because it's the treatment. Lots of times, the only treatment. Why does it work in all those autoimmune diseases? Eh...you can kind of cobble together an "immunosuppression plus blah blah blah" answer, but really we have no idea. And "evidence-based medicine" is not at all referring to understanding the mechanism of disease in our patients, it's just referring to being knowledgeable about what tests are more sensitive, specific, cost/benefit efficient, and what treatments have statistics to compel us to pursue them even if we don't know what we're doing or why it works.
But at the end of the day, I want to understand the things I can. And it's kind of a special feeling when you tie something together based on your knowledge to a patient, because it's so rare. So often we're just following the algorithm. And frankly, I find comfort in that just as much as the next guy, especially as a student, whose job it is to learn those algorithms. But the reason I want to learn those algorithms & recognize the patterns is not because I want to be faster or more confident at following the recipe, but because I want to be better than the recipe. I want to be able to deliver care that integrates all those factors that make every patient different, in a sophisticated way that relies on clinical judgement that you can't teach in school or train into anyone who passes rotations, I want to be an individual as well with a unique thought process on each patient, and the best I can offer. I know I'll never get there without the best knowledge I could possibly glean from when they tried to infuse all that info into us M1/M2. I know I'll never get there without learning the algorithms and clinical patterns and basics of patient management I can M3/M4. And I know I'll never get there without the attitude that I do want to attain a better understanding of my patients and their disease to do right by them. I don't flatter myself that I'm going to get as far as all that, but man, that'd be a good doctor, no?