Post your pharmacy jokes!

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[FONT=arial,helvetica] Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of Tampax and proceeded to the checkout counter. The man at the counter asked the older boy, "Son, how old are you?" "Eight," the boy replied. The man continued, "Do you know what these are used for?" The boy replied, "Not exactly, but they aren't for me. They're for him. He's my brother. He's four. We saw on TV that if you use these you would be able to swim and ride a bike. He can't do either one." .

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[FONT=arial,helvetica][FONT=arial,helvetica] Upon arriving home, a husband was met at the door by his sobbing
wife.
Tearfully she explained, "It's the pharmacist. He insulted me
terribly this morning on the phone."

Immediately, the husband drove downtown to confront the druggist and
> demand an apology. Before he could say more than a word or two, the druggist
told him, "Now, just a minute, listen to my side of the story.

This morning the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up. I
went without breakfast and hurried out to the car, only to realize that I
locked the house with both house and car keys inside."

"I had to break a window to get my keys. Then, driving a little too
fast, I got a speeding ticket. When I was about three blocks from the store,
I got a flat tire. When I finally got here, there was a bunch of people
waiting for me to open up. I got the store opened and started waiting on these
people and, all the time, the damn phone was ringing off the hook."

He continued, "Then I had to break a roll of nickels against the cash
register drawer to make change, and they spilled all over the floor.
I got down on my hands and knees to pick up the nickels. The phone was
still ringing. When I came up, I cracked my head on the open cash drawer
which made me stagger back against a showcase with a bunch of perfume
bottles on it. . . . all of them hit the floor and broke."

"Meanwhile, the phone is still ringing with no let up, and I finally
got to answer it. It was your wife. She wanted to know how to use a rectal
thermometer. . . . and believe me, mister, as God is my witness, all
I did was tell her."

..
 
At a pharmacy, a blonde asked to use the infant scale to weigh the baby she held in her arms. The clerk explained that the device was out for repairs, but said that she would figure the infant's weight by weighing the woman and baby together on the adult scale, then weighing the mother alone and subtracting the second amount from the first.

"That won't work," countered the woman. "I'm not the mother, I'm the aunt. "
 
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an oldie, but classic.
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[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HhbK9qA-jU8&feature=Responses&parent_video=wx1tNdSQUrA&index=0&playnext=1&playnext_from=RL[/YOUTUBE]
 
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A man sees a sign for "Prescriptions While You Wait". Happy that he doesn't have to wait long, he goes up to the counter and drops off his prescription.
"Great" says the tech "This will be ready by 10 am tomorrow."
The man is outraged. "Tomorrow?! Your sign says prescriptions while you wait!"
"Are you going to stop waiting after tomorrow?"
 
knock knock

who's there?

Pharmacy

Pharmacy Who?








Unemployment, welcome to 2010 pharmacy school graduates
 
knock knock

who's there?

Pharmacy

Pharmacy Who?








Unemployment, welcome to 2010 pharmacy school graduates

This was in poor taste. This is a thread for jokes. Besides being in bad form it didn't even work as a knock-knock joke! Here's a knock knock joke:

<knock knock>
Who's there?
Amish
Amish who?
Funny you don't look like a shoe
 
3 pregnant women are sitting in the OB-GYN's waiting room. Each is knitting an outfit for her baby-to-be.

Lady #1's watch alarm goes off. She puts down her knitting, opens a pill bottle and takes a pill. The other ladies look at her curiously, and she says, "Pre-natal vitamin. Helps mommy and baby be nice and healthy."

Lady #2 reaches into her bag and takes out a pill bottle. After taking her pill, she looks at the other ladies and says, "Mmm, Folic Acid. Helps prevent birth defects."

Lady #3 pulls a pill bottle out of her purse and takes a pill. The other ladies look at her curiously, and she says, "Oh, that was just some Thalidomide."

The other ladies gasp and chastise her: "You monster! Don't you know what that will do to your baby?!"

Lady #3 hangs her head in shame and says, "I know ... I just ... don't know how to knit sleeves."
 
3 pregnant women are sitting in the OB-GYN's waiting room. Each is knitting an outfit for her baby-to-be.

Lady #1's watch alarm goes off. She puts down her knitting, opens a pill bottle and takes a pill. The other ladies look at her curiously, and she says, "Pre-natal vitamin. Helps mommy and baby be nice and healthy."

Lady #2 reaches into her bag and takes out a pill bottle. After taking her pill, she looks at the other ladies and says, "Mmm, Folic Acid. Helps prevent birth defects."

Lady #3 pulls a pill bottle out of her purse and takes a pill. The other ladies look at her curiously, and she says, "Oh, that was just some Thalidomide."

The other ladies gasp and chastise her: "You monster! Don't you know what that will do to your baby?!"

Lady #3 hangs her head in shame and says, "I know ... I just ... don't know how to knit sleeves."


That one appealed to my darker sense of humor while the conscience on my shoulder is chastising me for laughing my *** off :laugh:

What's even better... the 2 other people I showed this to didn't even get it.
 
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a man walks into a pharmacy and asks for condoms and insecticide. the pharmacist says "you mean condoms and spermicide, don't you?". the man says "no i mean insecticide. my wife has a bug up her butt and i'm going in after it"
 
Another Thalidomide joke:

A guy who was born as a Thalidomide baby wound up having a very successful career in the adult film industry. It's rather competitive, as you know, so he needed a "shtick."

He billed himself as "The guy whose arm is like a baby's [unit].





*** This is only funny if you're familiar with the expression referring to a guy with a large penis as saying it's like a "baby's arm holding an apple."
 
Another Thalidomide joke:

A guy who was born as a Thalidomide baby wound up having a very successful career in the adult film industry. It's rather competitive, as you know, so he needed a "shtick."

He billed himself as "The guy whose arm is like a baby's [unit].





*** This is only funny if you're familiar with the expression referring to a guy with a large penis as saying it's like a "baby's arm holding an apple."



:confused:
 
Another Thalidomide joke:

A guy who was born as a Thalidomide baby wound up having a very successful career in the adult film industry. It's rather competitive, as you know, so he needed a "shtick."

He billed himself as "The guy whose arm is like a baby's [unit].





*** This is only funny if you're familiar with the expression referring to a guy with a large penis as saying it's like a "baby's arm holding an apple."

awyeahbro-1.gif
 
Fair notice, Sparda: I'm stealing that gif to use on fark.com.
 
A girl was working in a pharmacy ''this was her first day working'' ...
& this pharmacy had four girls and one man working there.....anyway ,, in here first day there were many customers so she had to work although he didn't know many information about working in pharmacy.....
there was a line for women customers & she found also a line for men customers so she decided to give help....
1-the first man asked for some aspirin and went...:)
2-the second come close to her ears and said '' i want that red pill ,, i didn't know the name but i got it from here once.,,,this red pill ''.....she shouted at one girl working there ''what red pill does he want ??'' :idea:

All women in the pharmacy looked at him in a strange look ,,the man runs out of the pharmacy and regrets asking her for that.....then suddenly all the line of men gets out of pharmacy so they wouldn't be exposed to such emparessing....

am sure he have learned not to ask a girl again for a viagra pill ....:)
 
A girl was working in a pharmacy ''this was her first day working'' ...
& this pharmacy had four girls and one man working there.....anyway ,, in here first day there were many customers so she had to work although he didn't know many information about working in pharmacy.....
there was a line for women customers & she found also a line for men customers so she decided to give help....
1-the first man asked for some aspirin and went...:)
2-the second come close to her ears and said '' i want that red pill ,, i didn't know the name but i got it from here once.,,,this red pill ''.....she shouted at one girl working there ''what red pill does he want ??'' :idea:

All women in the pharmacy looked at him in a strange look ,,the man runs out of the pharmacy and regrets asking her for that.....then suddenly all the line of men gets out of pharmacy so they wouldn't be exposed to such emparessing....

am sure he have learned not to ask a girl again for a viagra pill ....:)



e5kxaf.jpg


I think somebody picked the wrong pill, should've really gone for the blue in this case. Also, what kinda crazy pharmacy segregates its patients?
 
Take one table spoonful every eight hours" the pharmacist dispense fever syrip for patient.
After two hours the patient back to the pharmacy complaining " spoon can not get in the bottle
 
3 pregnant women are sitting in the OB-GYN's waiting room. Each is knitting an outfit for her baby-to-be.

Lady #1's watch alarm goes off. She puts down her knitting, opens a pill bottle and takes a pill. The other ladies look at her curiously, and she says, "Pre-natal vitamin. Helps mommy and baby be nice and healthy."

Lady #2 reaches into her bag and takes out a pill bottle. After taking her pill, she looks at the other ladies and says, "Mmm, Folic Acid. Helps prevent birth defects."

Lady #3 pulls a pill bottle out of her purse and takes a pill. The other ladies look at her curiously, and she says, "Oh, that was just some Thalidomide."

The other ladies gasp and chastise her: "You monster! Don't you know what that will do to your baby?!"

Lady #3 hangs her head in shame and says, "I know ... I just ... don't know how to knit sleeves."

Our place in hell is secure, your's for the Joke, mine for laughing my @ss off!!!!!
 
A girl was working in a pharmacy ''this was her first day working'' ...
& this pharmacy had four girls and one man working there.....anyway ,, in here first day there were many customers so she had to work although he didn't know many information about working in pharmacy.....
there was a line for women customers & she found also a line for men customers so she decided to give help....
1-the first man asked for some aspirin and went...:)
2-the second come close to her ears and said '' i want that red pill ,, i didn't know the name but i got it from here once.,,,this red pill ''.....she shouted at one girl working there ''what red pill does he want ??'' :idea:

All women in the pharmacy looked at him in a strange look ,,the man runs out of the pharmacy and regrets asking her for that.....then suddenly all the line of men gets out of pharmacy so they wouldn't be exposed to such emparessing....

am sure he have learned not to ask a girl again for a viagra pill ....:)

Wha...........?
 
What drug do you give to treat communist china?

MAO Inhibitors
 
Man 1: Do you have any sodium jokes?
Man 2: Na

Man 1: Can you tell me a potassium joke instead then?
Man 2: K
 
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