I present today's drawn out, pointless rant with humourous Annotated Anecdotes® 1
I was thinking of starting up a pre-pharmacy club and charging $50 to join. Being as though there are about 100,000 people that are prepharmacy at WVU2, I'd probably get a good 200 kids to join because they think it "looks good on the application."3 In the end, I'd have $10000 and all I'd have to do is torture a bunch of people for 10 minutes in a mock interview, which, in and of itself, would be fun because I'm a huge sadist that likes tortuting people.
I was also thinking of starting a club called the Apathetic Society of Student Pharmacists Avoiding Rigorous Tasks.4 that celebrated people like me that hate school but suffer through it because it will eventually make me moderately wealthy. The club's motto was proposed to be "We can't wait until we can compare paychecks with people in Rho Chi."5 I'm writing the charter right now. Who wants a chapter at their school?6
1Not really a registered trademark. Not trying to be funny, I just don't want the patent office to hunt me down. They've got guns, man. Lots and lots of guns. And tigers. That know how to use guns. Up until a few years ago, I actually thought annotate and anecdote meant the same thing. Eh, I'm born n' raised in West Virginia. Always a good excuse.
2I'm not kidding. There are 10 in my martial arts class alone. "I'm going to go to pharmacy school." Mmmhmm, sure ya are. The admin people love seeing ya take 6 hours a semester, BIO 101 and three gym classes. That'll wow-em.
3The admissions people don't care.
4ASSPhART for short. I know, I know, you're thinking to yourself "I can read, dummy!" Well, too bad. I'm one of those nerds that explains a joke after he tells it. I'm known to mutter something like "It's funny because I'm a racist and I think Pollacks are dumb. That's why it took five of them to change a light bulb." Now that I think about it, I think I actually am part Polish. Or was that Italian? I don't know, same difference.
5It takes a damn idiot to get straight As. Think about it. On the other hand, I would consider hiring them because I think they would be easy to control. Anyone who spends the time to get an "A" in Public Health class is way too easy to make jump through hoops. Hell, if I ever own a pharmacy, I'll just hire gullible people and give them report card with a 4.0 GPA instead of giving them raises. I love it when they brag about getting a $2000 scholorship for having good grades. Well, in that 40 hours a week you spent memorizing worthless crap, I worked at Krogers for $13 an hour at 25 hours a week and made $17,000 last year. And I still do better on case studies. Viva practical expirience.
6Don't you love the irony manifested by the idea of an apathetics' club?
