Pregnant During Pre-Reqs

[ziggy1104]

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Hello SDN,

I'm 25, been with my fiance for 9 years, and am 17 weeks pregnant at this point. I'm a junior finishing up my pre-reqs. I am very excited about the baby and can't wait to meet him...however...

We weren't planning on having a baby now. In fact, I was not supposed to even be able to become pregnant at all! So this was a huggge shock. I am now just trying to figure out how this is going to interfere with my career goal of becoming a dentist.

Before I got pregnant, I had a 4.0. The semester I found out (fall 2012), I got 3 B's, bringing down my GPA and breaking the streak. B's are not the end of the world, I know. My point is just that it's been super hard to focus on school with a baby growing and everything that comes along with that. This semester has proven the same so far.

I guess what I am looking for is advice from those who have been through this. How did it change your goals? Your schedule? Your career? Your motivation? Any words of wisdom?

Thank you!!!

 

[ziggy1104]

And also, if anyone can give some advice on getting through dental school with kids as well?

 

[Bobby Fischer]

It is what it is. Your baby should be #1 moving forward. Not a career. Or school.

 

[NAVY DDS 2010]

And also, if anyone can give some advice on getting through dental school with kids as well?

I cannot comment on being pregnantwhile in school, but I can comment on having kids while in school. Is it tough at times? Yes. Is it worth it? Most definitely. Some of the best students in d-school are the ones that have kids. Having children forces you to prioritize and be more organized with your time. The best thing about kids is coming home. No matter how bad a day you have at school, seeing your little ones when you walk into the house seems to take all that stress from the day away. Now, before anyone here says " you are a guy. You didn't have to put as much effort as a mom would", I need to say something. My wife has been a full time pharmacist since 2002. While pregnant with the twins, she was in her 1st year of an intense MBA program. After the twins were born, she was still in her MB program for 14 months, working full time while I was in d-school. I am the one who had the most free time. Therefore, I was the primary caretaker. Even after she finished, I took care of those kids equally. I adore my children and want to spend time with them. That said - I am glad I had children in d-school. I could always escape the reality of school while the kids were awake since I never dealt with school issues. Having kids were my sanity.

So, you can do it. You will be fine. You will just have to reconfigure your life and reprioritize things. You'll be better for it!

 

[missdiana]

I cannot comment on being pregnantwhile in school, but I can comment on having kids while in school. Is it tough at times? Yes. Is it worth it? Most definitely. Some of the best students in d-school are the ones that have kids. Having children forces you to prioritize and be more organized with your time. The best thing about kids is coming home. No matter how bad a day you have at school, seeing your little ones when you walk into the house seems to take all that stress from the day away. Now, before anyone here says " you are a guy. You didn't have to put as much effort as a mom would", I need to say something. My wife has been a full time pharmacist since 2002. While pregnant with the twins, she was in her 1st year of an intense MBA program. After the twins were born, she was still in her MB program for 14 months, working full time while I was in d-school. I am the one who had the most free time. Therefore, I was the primary caretaker. Even after she finished, I took care of those kids equally. I adore my children and want to spend time with them. That said - I am glad I had children in d-school. I could always escape the reality of school while the kids were awake since I never dealt with school issues. Having kids were my sanity.

So, you can do it. You will be fine. You will just have to reconfigure your life and reprioritize things. You'll be better for it!

NAVY DDS...you are awesome. really...you are an amazing dad



for the answering..
my friend got pregnant during her college year as well. (she was veteran, I think)
she didn't show up for many classes and didn't do so well in exams as well..but professors considered it as well...so didn't give her C or anything like that..(she had to do extra work or something like that to make up in-class work)

She said she wrote about her pregnancy during college in her personal statement and schools considered it. (she said she wrote "because of my future child, I had more interest in dental cares of my children"...well..she volunteered with me at pedo dentistry)

Also she said couple school asked her about the baby and pregnancy during interview as well.

she did get into couple dental schools and she picked one that is close to her parent's home.

So....I guess if you handle your GPA and good DAT, it would be all good.
I don't know how she handled it...she was smart and hard worker but I don't any specific way to handle the whole hormone mood-shifting thing...

but here is what I know....so..I hope this helped.

 

[Msmouth]

You won't know until after the baby comes. I know when my boys were babies it was much harder to do anything additional. Now that they are a bit older I am able to juggle a lot more. When I begin d-school this fall, my boys will be age 4 and 6. I know it won't be easy but if you want something bad enough, you will make it happen.

 

[predent12]

CONGRATULATIONS!!!! I don't have any children so I can't offer any wisdom but congrats!!

 

[Fifimiki]

Congrats! I got pregnant right before I started my pre-reqs. I had hyperemesis so I didn't go to school while I was pregnant but I don't think it would be a good idea. All the appointments, morning sickness plus depending on the due date you don't want to give birth around finals. I knew a girl who was pregnant during undergrad and she missed a lot of classes. I don't think it's worth the extra stress.

My daughter was born in January. I took the spring and summer off and started in the fall when she was 9 months. I'm glad I waited because when you have a baby you want to be able to enjoy all those moments. Plus you're tired all the time and still trying to find your routine. I also didn't feel comfortable leaving her at a day care at such a young age.

I think if your due date is in the middle of a semester you should just take that semester off. You will be so busy getting everything ready for the baby I think you would appreciate the extra time. But if you really don't want to put anything on hold I think you could manage but it just seems like too much for me.

 

[ziggy1104]

Thank you very much for all the responses...very encouraging! I am due June 23rd, so I am going to finish out this semester and then take the summer off, but go back in the fall (only 2 classes, just a light load). I think (at this point, anyway!) That will be manageable and I can start back full time in spring 2014.

Your experiences and advice are definitely appreciated! I just moved to a new town and don't know anyone yet...especially anyone who is pregnant! It seems everyone in my classes is so young, just right out of high school, so it's very nice to hear from people who know what I'm going through, either the pregnancy or having kids!

NAVY DDS you sound like an amazing dad!
Fifimiki, are you know in dental school? How is that going with your daughter?

 

[ziggy1104]

Thank you predent12!!

 

[ziggy1104]

Msmouth, and other parents, do you have any help? Family, spouse, friends?

 

[predent12]

Also, for what it's worth, I know a woman who had a baby her junior year of D-school. I believe her mother came for a month to help out with the newborn, and her husband's mother came for another month. It obviously wasn't easy, but she was able to get ahead with some of her requirements before the baby came. Anyway, she did it, and now is in a pediatric residency (2nd year!) So you won't be alone!

 

[Msmouth]

Msmouth, and other parents, do you have any help? Family, spouse, friends?

Yes I couldn't do this without my mother and husband's support. Generally my mom watches the kids and gets them to and from school when I'm not around. I have managed to make my spring semester very conducive to parenting. I will be able to take them to school every morning and pick them up 3 day/week. Also I will be with them most of the day as I am taking classes that start much later in the day. I somehow managed to squeeze 18 credits into 4 days with 2 classes that start in the evening, 2 late morning and 1 research that can be done anytime. I have off on Fridays which is an extra bonus!
As far as dental school, my mom is more than willing to do all 5 days but I feel that it's too big a job so I may hire a nanny for 1 or 2 day/week to help us all out. Everything is uncertain now , but we'll have to get things figured out by late spring.

 

[nyden13]

I started my prereqs when my daughter was only 3 months old. Took me 4 years to finish the prereqs because I was working full time as well. But hard work pays off.....I'll be starting D-school this Fall! I know it will be hard trying to juggle everything, but I'll make it work. I keep reminding myself that nothing good comes easy.

Congrats and GL.🙂

 

[Bobby Fischer]

Ironically, the feature link story on SDN

"Starting a Family in Medical School" (directly transferable to dental school):

http://studentdoctor.net/2013/01/starting-a-family-in-medical-school/

^^ possesses some solid advice in my opinion (parent of 3).

e.g. "...Embrace Imperfection. Your floors will not be spotless. Your child will not be all giggles all the time. You will occasionally feel like you are drowning. Recognize that this is all normal..."

Yes, yes and...yes. My wife and I have been doing this long enough to joke that raising children might be comparable to living in an insane asylum or a group home for the mentally impaired.

 

[dantemac]

If your fiancee can help out and has a good income to work with, I would still go to dental school. Just set up a place/time at home where you can study quietly. Try to pick out family friendly dental schools if possible.

 

[ziggy1104]

Thank you, everyone's response has helped put me at ease. Good to know others have been able to have kids and get through school. Thank god I have a supportive fiance. His mother is thinking of moving down (she lives in another state) to help out, which would be amazing. As others have said, any help I can get is a must.

 

[righteousjenn]

My 1st semester I became pregnant and went to school throughout my pregnancy despite being high risk(I had placenta previa and was supposed to be on bed rest). My due date was one day after my last final and I didn't think I was going to make it because my doctor was talking about c-sections because of me being high risk which would have made me miss all my finals and would have resulted in getting incompletes for all my classes. despite this, however, I managed to make straight a's in both the semesters I was pregnant, had my child 4 days after break started and went back the next semester and still am making straight a's. it is definitely hard and sometimes I do feel like pulling my hair out, but it can be done.

Congratulations by the way, you can do it :]

 

[skifan]

I decided to return to school for my pre-reqs while pregnant with baby #2. Having kids changes everything and until they are born it really is hard to imagine. But they keep me focused and I think about the end result, being able to support my family while doing something I love. It's hard and if you have support from husband/boyfriend and elsewhere you can do it. I am lucky and have support.
Not to start a controversy but if you get interviews focus on your skills and what you can bring to the table as a dentist. Don't focus on family and kids. It isnt fair but ultimately if you were a man and had a wife at home caring for kids they wouldn't question if you can make it through school or would be distracted.
Being pregnant during school was easy, the baby is well cared for, the hard part is the beginning running to the car to pump between classes and leaving the little one at daycare. I keep telling myself there are so many kids who are in daycare 7am-6pm every day, their moms struggle with no end in sight. 4 tough years to have a great job, it's worth it!!

 

[skifan]

You may find the toughest challenge is the relationship of you and fiancé changing and if an in-law gets into the mix he needs to step up and put HIS new family first and his mom comes second. Good luck, having a seasoned grandma in your corner can be a huge help.

 

[Bobby Fischer]

I decided to return to school for my pre-reqs while pregnant with baby #2. Having kids changes everything and until they are born it really is hard to imagine. But they keep me focused and I think about the end result, being able to support my family while doing something I love. It's hard and if you have support from husband/boyfriend and elsewhere you can do it. I am lucky and have support.
Not to start a controversy but if you get interviews focus on your skills and what you can bring to the table as a dentist. Don't focus on family and kids. It isnt fair but ultimately if you were a man and had a wife at home caring for kids they wouldn't question if you can make it through school or would be distracted.
Being pregnant during school was easy, the baby is well cared for, the hard part is the beginning running to the car to pump between classes and leaving the little one at daycare. I keep telling myself there are so many kids who are in daycare 7am-6pm every day, their moms struggle with no end in sight. 4 tough years to have a great job, it's worth it!!

its not a 'job'. 😡If you want a job go to vocational or trade school. This sort of ignorance seriously pisses me off. Does not bode well for the long term, either, i.e. too many *****s are getting through dental school with this idiotic perspective.👎

 

[Sal427]

My 1st semester I became pregnant and went to school throughout my pregnancy despite being high risk(I had placenta previa and was supposed to be on bed rest). My due date was one day after my last final and I didn't think I was going to make it because my doctor was talking about c-sections because of me being high risk which would have made me miss all my finals and would have resulted in getting incompletes for all my classes. despite this, however, I managed to make straight a's in both the semesters I was pregnant, had my child 4 days after break started and went back the next semester and still am making straight a's. it is definitely hard and sometimes I do feel like pulling my hair out, but it can be done.

Congratulations by the way, you can do it :]

That's amazing!

 

[NAVY DDS 2010]

its not a 'job'. 😡If you want a job go to vocational or trade school. This sort of ignorance seriously pisses me off. Does not bode well for the long term, either, i.e. too many *****s are getting through dental school with this idiotic perspective.👎

^ 👎

job -

Definition: employment

Synonyms:

activity, appointment, assignment, berth, billet, business, calling, capacity, career, chore, connection, craft, daily grind, engagement, faculty, function, gig, grind*, handicraft, line, livelihood, means, métier, niche, nine-to-five, occupation, office, opening, operation, place, position, post, posting, profession, pursuit, racket, rat race, situation, spot, stint, swindle*, task, trade, vocation, work

This is a forum, not a thesis or business textbook. How any one person refers to their employment is totally up to them and has no relevance on how they view the profession of dentistry. Get over yourself. There is no ignorance in the comment that skifan made when she referred to it as a job. If anything, you seem to be the ignorant one!

too many *****s getting through dental school - let me know when you graduate so we know if they let another ***** through! Seriously, are you a *****? Probably not, but making comments like that make people wonder. Chil out. You blew up over nothing - the way someone used a word and referred to dentistry in a manner different manner you would.

 

[Bobby Fischer]

^ 👎

job -

Definition: employment

Synonyms:

activity, appointment, assignment, berth, billet, business, calling, capacity, career, chore, connection, craft, daily grind, engagement, faculty, function, gig, grind*, handicraft, line, livelihood, means, métier, niche, nine-to-five, occupation, office, opening, operation, place, position, post, posting, profession, pursuit, racket, rat race, situation, spot, stint, swindle*, task, trade, vocation, work

This is a forum, not a thesis or business textbook. How any one person refers to their employment is totally up to them and has no relevance on how they view the profession of dentistry. Get over yourself. There is no ignorance in the comment that skifan made when she referred to it as a job. If anything, you seem to be the ignorant one!

too many *****s getting through dental school - let me know when you graduate so we know if they let another ***** through! Seriously, are you a *****? Probably not, but making comments like that make people wonder. Chil out. You blew up over nothing - the way someone used a word and referred to dentistry in a manner different manner you would.

Sounds like I understand the profession of dentistry better than you do and you are apparently the dentist in the conversation. Time goes by fast though...4 years is not that long. At my age and life experience I'm not impressed too much by upstart whippersnappers who may have gotten a jump on entering a profession a few years sooner than I.

Who blew up? I said pissed off.

So...from your perspective what is a profession, then? You go through laborious efforts to define 'job', but you didn't define profession. So, Professor NAVY DDS are you writing a thesis or not? After defining job the next step is to define profession and then conclude with a proof that they are synonymous terms.

Of course, once you were to go through the exercise your folly would quickly be pointed out.

Thus, I remain pissed off with those who would equate the role of Dentist and/or Doctor in society with the hourly waged garbage collector, fast food worker, or janitor.

profession does not = 'job'. professional does not equal worker. etc. With more time and life experience under your belt you'll likely understand and come to appreciate what I mean...and value the difference.

 

[ziggy1104]

My 1st semester I became pregnant and went to school throughout my pregnancy despite being high risk(I had placenta previa and was supposed to be on bed rest). My due date was one day after my last final and I didn't think I was going to make it because my doctor was talking about c-sections because of me being high risk which would have made me miss all my finals and would have resulted in getting incompletes for all my classes. despite this, however, I managed to make straight a's in both the semesters I was pregnant, had my child 4 days after break started and went back the next semester and still am making straight a's. it is definitely hard and sometimes I do feel like pulling my hair out, but it can be done.

Congratulations by the way, you can do it :]

That is truly amazing! Unfortunately, I couldnt make it through my first trimester with straight A's. I had bad morning (all day) sickness and missed some class because of this. This was so discouraging because I had made straight A's up to that point and it really made me questions if I could do this. However, I am feeling much better now but it does get hard to focus on school while my mind is so tied up with thoughts of the baby.

Any other mom's experience this?

It's also discouraging that school will take even longer now that I am taking summer and fall off (im a junior) to be with my newborn. However, I think it's worth it because it's time I wont get back. I guess i'm just struggling to decide if it's the right move or not. Maybe I should go back in the fall? sigh...

 

[ziggy1104]

Skifan,

I was wondering how schools would react to a mom vs. not