Chinorean

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Just curious, how many women here are planning on getting prenups or got a prenup in the interest of protecting their assets (as opposed to Hubbie's)?
 

Chinorean

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51 views and no responses? I guess I'm the only who thinks about this. Actually it's more because my mom is convinced that some slacker is going to think I'm his cash cow and demand alimony in the future if things don't work out.
 

Faebinder

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Usually it's the women that have all the issues with prenups... not the men.
 
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Nah, I'm didn't get a prenup. I got married when I had more debts than assets (even more true today). So what would be the point?
 
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tiredmom

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Me either... but it'll be 9 yrs in a few weeks, and we owe more now than we did when we were young and foolish! The whole prenup thing seems odd to me though, like you've got a contingency plan for getting out. It seems strange to be making plans for the divorce when you're planning the wedding.
 

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Some people think marriage licenses should require renewal after 5 years. To avoid all the crap that comes with divorce. :laugh:
 

Sol Rosenberg

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First off, I'm not a woman, but this thread caught my eye.

Prenups are a form of insurance. Buying any type of insurance is making plans for the unexpected/undesired. Isn't buying homeowner's insurance making a contingency plan for your home burning down? Isn't life insurance making contingency plans for your own death? (when you should be focusing on living your life.)

Not all marriages work out, and the laws are set up to make things difficult and miserable for both parties (but especially for the party with more assets.) There is no need, in an already emotionally difficult divorce, that people need to get put through a legal and financial ringer that often ends up costing both parties lots of money in legal fees. I see prenups as "legal and financial ringer due to divorce" insurance. <shrug>
 
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ForbiddenComma

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No way I could get married with a prenup. I know that they make rational sense... but then again I don't pretend to be rational anyway :)
 

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HELL YA I'm getting a prenup especially since my current 'boyfriend' has a massive debt and expensive spending habits. Yes the prenup will be iron clad LOL!
 

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From what I hear they don't mean a thing after you've been married for X amount of years.

The only reason why celebrities and rich folk get away with "prenups" is because they can bury you in litigation. I was under the impression that neither state nor federal law recognizes prenuptial agreements.
 

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Um, you might want to contact either an attorney or someone who has some idea about prenups, because that couldn't be further from the truth. Neither statement is correct. Some people put that in their prenups, though that the prenup becomes void after X number of years of marraige, and actually they're recognized in every state in this country.
 

RAD11

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:laugh: I think the prenup will be more beneficial for my husband rather than me since he has $0 school loans prior to us getting married and I have a significant amount so now what's his is mine and what's mine is his :smuggrin:
 
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sirus_virus

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You have a 50% chance of getting a divorce these days. If you are a dcotor and you do get a divorce, you have a 90% chance of loosing financialy(especially if you are male). Good preneups will not only depend on the state where the marriage took place, but the state where the divorce is filed. If you can get a "good prenup" then go for it IMO. The best innsurance is however to either marry rich or just marry the right person.
 

sirus_virus

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:laugh: I think the prenup will be more beneficial for my husband rather than me since he has $0 school loans prior to us getting married and I have a significant amount so now what's his is mine and what's mine is his :smuggrin:

This is what scares the crap out of most males prior to marriage.
 

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Seeing my parents go through five divorces between them, I'm definitely drafting-up some plans in the form of a prenup. I don't want to end up paying alimony to a husband that I supported for a short time, or losing my favorite books/property in a lawyers' auction. I guess I'm jaded, but better safe than sorry.
 

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Just to clarify somethings 1st..

I am a man, next... I suggested a prenup with my fiance... just to "protect" her interests. At the same time, reassure her that I do not intend to get into a divorce, and if we do, then I shall be punished...

I guess the terms of a prenup is really entirely up to your preferences. Whatever you deem fit as a legal binding contract.

JMHO.
 

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I will have a prenup because I've had two boyfriends years ago who went psycho and tried to take money out of my personal savings account from a small inheritance, my belongings, etc.

Man, you can know someone pretty damn well, but you never know exactly how psycho they can get when they get broken up with. :(
 
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Neuro25_

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I spoke to 3 surgeons who strongly advise that woman entertain the idea of a prenuptial agreement. Of course you do not see the marriage ending in a bitter battle for finances and children but the reality of the situation is that many of them do.

My aunt is a dentist and she started her private practice. When it became lucrative her husband decided to not work. Without a prenup, now that she is contemplating divorce, she would actually lose MORE money to him in alimony than she would staying with him as he is a 'stay at home dad' for two 18 y/o adults. She struggles with this mistake.

The best advice she ever gave me was to get married AFTER entering medical school because the spouse may have rights to your future earning potential because he emotionally/financially supported you before professional school.

Just passing on what I learned and I hope this at least helps 1 person.
 
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DrCommonSense

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I spoke to 3 surgeons who strongly advise that woman entertain the idea of a prenuptial agreement. Of course you do not see the marriage ending in a bitter battle for finances and children but the reality of the situation is that many of them do.

My aunt is a dentist and she started her private practice. When it became lucrative her husband decided to not work. Without a prenup, now that she is contemplating divorce, she would actually lose MORE money to him in alimony than she would staying with him as he is a 'stay at home dad' for two 18 y/o adults. She struggles with this mistake.

The best advice she ever gave me was to get married AFTER entering medical school because the spouse may have rights to your future earning potential because he emotionally/financially supported you before professional school.

Just passing on what I learned and I hope this at least helps 1 person.

That has been going on for generations when it came to men.

I find it amusing how women all of a sudden notice the value of a "prenup" when they have more assets/income but find it "unromantic" when they have less.

Like I said, men are the romantic sex while women are the pragmatic sex.
 
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Mad Jack

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I spoke to 3 surgeons who strongly advise that woman entertain the idea of a prenuptial agreement. Of course you do not see the marriage ending in a bitter battle for finances and children but the reality of the situation is that many of them do.

My aunt is a dentist and she started her private practice. When it became lucrative her husband decided to not work. Without a prenup, now that she is contemplating divorce, she would actually lose MORE money to him in alimony than she would staying with him as he is a 'stay at home dad' for two 18 y/o adults. She struggles with this mistake.

The best advice she ever gave me was to get married AFTER entering medical school because the spouse may have rights to your future earning potential because he emotionally/financially supported you before professional school.

Just passing on what I learned and I hope this at least helps 1 person.
Considering the last post in this thread was around nine years ago...

Prenups only cover premarital assets in most states, which is something most residents need to keep in mind. You can add clauses for infidelity or whatnot, but generally post-marital assets are fair game even in the case of a prenup.
 

DrCommonSense

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Considering the last post in this thread was around nine years ago...

Prenups only cover premarital assets in most states, which is something most residents need to keep in mind. You can add clauses for infidelity or whatnot, but generally post-marital assets are fair game even in the case of a prenup.

Correct.

A prenup would NOT help that dentist woman in the story being presented. Prenups are ONLY valuable for inheritances and/or large premarital assets. Most doctors/dentists/etc who marry in their late 20s to 30s will have mostly debt, so there is no point to a prenup for them.

The risk of "no fault" divorce is that the higher earning party is largely a slave to the lower earning person who can hold them hostage through alimony and asset division in the case of divorce.

The story this woman presented has been going on for at least a generation for male bread winners, so the female "oppression" angle is cute.
 
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Prenup for a female physician, yes absolutely. And you can actually put clauses for no alimony and rules for division of any "joint" property or assets after you get married. Depends on the state it is written in. My prenup has such clauses (as in zero alimony etc).
 
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DrCommonSense

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Prenup for a female physician, yes absolutely. And you can actually put clauses for no alimony and rules for division of any "joint" property or assets after you get married. Depends on the state it is written in. My prenup has such clauses (as in zero alimony etc).

Cool story but I have a feeling a judge would throw that out on a male physician who has a stay at home wife that doesn't work or works even part time.

Judges still are overwhelmingly feminist whereby they would feel the guy is taking unfair advantage and would nullify the prenup.
 
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Cool story but I have a feeling a judge would throw that out on a male physician who has a stay at home wife that doesn't work or works even part time.

Judges still are overwhelmingly feminist whereby they would feel the guy is taking unfair advantage and would nullify the prenup.

lol. You can't throw out a prenup. It is a legal binding contract.
 
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DrCommonSense

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lol. You can't throw out a prenup. It is a legal binding contract.

Yes you can if its deemed "unfair" by the judge.

Can a Prenuptial Agreement Be Voided?

Of note:

"
Unconscionable Terms
The terms of your prenup must not be unconscionable, particularly if your state does not impose a waiting period between the time of the signing and your wedding, or if your spouse waived her right to separate legal counsel – that is, if a lawyer would have told her that what she was agreeing to was blatantly unfair. An unconscionable premarital contract is one that is so grossly one-sided, the judge would have to wonder about the circumstances under which your spouse signed it. For example, if your agreement states that everything you earned or acquired before your wedding is yours, that all property acquired during your marriage is yours, and that your spouse has no right to either spousal support or an equitable division of property, the court will probably void your prenup because its terms are unconscionable."

What is "unconscionable"? Well stating you want to keep all your own money!
 
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the obvious solution is to have lawyers on both sides, or to ensure from the legal standpoint that your prenup is not unconscionable. but my own attorney, who has decades of divorce law experience, told me that my contract is binding for life unless we both agree to alter it, and that no court can ever change it. the kind of prenup you mentioned is not equitable by any means, no one in their right mind would sign that, particularly the part about "acquired property." And it is far from "keeping your own money." It also states you keep their money too. My prenup, for example, states that all property acquired in my name remains mine and his remains his, that there is no right to spousal support from either side, and that property division is divided according to the % that we put into it, (so if I paid for 80% of the house, I get 80% of the money back), and it only becomes "50/50" if the marriage lasts 15 years, by which the assumption is made that if we lasted that long, we put an equal amount of "work" into the marriage.
 
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psychMDhopefully

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Seriously? What a rude comment. Yeah, it's the internet but no need to be a jerk.


Hey if a guy made the same comment she did, with the same tone, he would have been called a jerk and told he wasn't that special. Sometimes women need to see how they come across.
 
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mvenus929

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Hey if a guy made the same comment she did, with the same tone, he would have been called a jerk and told he wasn't that special. Sometimes women need to see how they come across.

1. You can't tell tone on the internet.
2. Whether or not she was being a 'jerk' doesn't mean you need to go and make a rude comment like that.
3. Why pick out that one specific comment when there are others that are far more crass?
 
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brocephalic

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This thread is amusing, every single male friend of mine that has tried to get a prenup has been chastised by women for even thinking about it. Most of them entertained the idea but gave up once they realized it made their significant other very unhappy.

Very interesting to see how things change when roles are reversed. Wonder if it ever comes across as unromantic to high earning women asking for their potential spouses for a prenuptial agreement, like it does to the women marrying high earning males. Just my observation.
 
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This thread is amusing, every single male friend of mine that has tried to get a prenup has been chastised by women for even thinking about it. Most of them entertained the idea but gave up once they realized it made their significant other very unhappy.

Very interesting to see how things change when roles are reversed. Wonder if it ever comes across as unromantic to high earning women asking for their potential spouses for a prenuptial agreement, like it does to the women marrying high earning males. Just my observation.

Having done it myself, yes, it is very unromantic. But in this day and age, prenups have very little to do with romance. In a world with a 50% divorce rate, you can't take any chances if you are the (much) higher earner. My husband knew that my logic superseded emotions in this case. No one can predict what will happen--perhaps he would get sick of my being at work all the time, perhaps he'd fall in love with someone else. I would not begrudge him that, things and people change with time...and if he left, I would be sad but i would understand. But... I find it unfair for someone to then ask for a percentage of my paycheck if they have determined I'm not good enough to stay with. Any reasonable person, male or female, would feel the same, I imagine.


Sent from my iPhone using SDN mobile
 
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brocephalic

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Having done it myself, yes, it is very unromantic. But in this day and age, prenups have very little to do with romance. In a world with a 50% divorce rate, you can't take any chances if you are the (much) higher earner. My husband knew that my logic superseded emotions in this case. No one can predict what will happen--perhaps he would get sick of my being at work all the time, perhaps he'd fall in love with someone else. I would not begrudge him that, things and people change with time...and if he left, I would be sad but i would understand. But... I find it unfair for someone to then ask for a percentage of my paycheck if they have determined I'm not good enough to stay with. Any reasonable person, male or female, would feel the same, I imagine.


Sent from my iPhone using SDN mobile

I wholeheartedly agree. It's perfectly reasonable. I just find it amusing how men get labeled as dinguses just thinking about it.
 
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I wholeheartedly agree. It's perfectly reasonable. I just find it amusing how men get labeled as dinguses just thinking about it.
Well I got some raised eyebrows too, got labeled as a jerk by some family members. But I don't budge, I long ago adopted the policy that I'm willing to listen to other reasonable opinions, but on the important things, you take me as i am or leave me. :) He took.
 
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psychMDhopefully

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This thread is amusing, every single male friend of mine that has tried to get a prenup has been chastised by women for even thinking about it. Most of them entertained the idea but gave up once they realized it made their significant other very unhappy.

Very interesting to see how things change when roles are reversed. Wonder if it ever comes across as unromantic to high earning women asking for their potential spouses for a prenuptial agreement, like it does to the women marrying high earning males. Just my observation.

Just say women are hypocrites and be done with it.
 
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