PhD/PsyD Protocol for delaying admission decision

[DanM]

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First off, this is a good problem to have 🙂. I was accepted to a school at the top of my list, and I'm absolutely delighted. I made it known during the interview that I thought the program would be ideal for me. However, I'm still waiting to hear back from a couple other schools I interviewed at, which are also very strong. Given the money I've put into applying, as well as the time spent on both sides of the table, I feel like I should wait to hear what the other schools have to say before accepting the present offer (even though I'm pretty certain what my decision is).

I don't want to come off as disingenuous by telling my POI the above, given that I did make it known how thrilled I would be to receive an offer from her. I will likely end up working with her, and don't want to make a bad impression here. Perhaps I'm over-thinking this. Thoughts?

 

[QAsPsych]

Yes, you're over thinking it. There is a reason schools are not supposed to pressure you for a decision prior to April 15th. You can hold onto your offer until then. People understand that even if you are very excited about their program, you may still get a better offer elsewhere.

 

[WisNeuro]

If the program is at the top of your list, and you've already interviewed, holding that offer is kind of a dick move. At this point, you have all the information I would assume. Now, if you're still contemplating, and are weighing options, sure, use some of that time. But, if you've pretty much made up your mind and are just waiting to see who else will send you a nice letter of acceptance for the heck of it, just move on and save the programs the time and effort. The longer you hold those positions, the longer someone sits on a waiting list, uncertain of their own future.

 

[mishpug]

I was very open with my POI (we talked on the phone after the acceptance notice) and said that I felt I needed to attend my remaining interviews in order to make an informed decision and POI was supportive and understanding.

Certainly, different folks might react differently, but POIs understand this process and know we may have other interviews/offers to consider. I would just be polite and honest. Congratulations on the offer and good luck!

Edited to acknowledge that my situation is/was slightly different as I received the offer when I still had several upcoming interviews scheduled and had not had an opportunity to see those programs.

 

[bre333]

Do you still have interviews to attend? Have you attended interviews and are waiting to hear back? Or have you heard nothing/no interview invites/no rejections from your other places? You have an acceptance under your belt--it's not gauche to contact schools you're waiting to hear back from post-interview and politely say something along the lines of "hey i have an offer from this other school, and I wanted to check on my status at this school." At least, I don't think that would be impolite (I could be wrong).

 

[DanM]

Thanks for the replies (and for the congrats!). I'm not 100% decided here, although it's probably about 90%. I'm waiting on one other potential offer from a pretty prestigious POI that I would consider, so I'm not holding off on accepting just to pad my ego or something similar. I maybe shouldn't have been so effusive in my praise for the program at the place that has given me an offer--even though it was genuine--but I wanted to show them how much I desired to be there. But now I'm thinking it will come off poorly if I don't accept right away...

 

[DanM]

Do you still have interviews to attend? Have you attended interviews and are waiting to hear back? Or have you heard nothing/no interview invites/no rejections from your other places? You have an acceptance under your belt--it's not gauche to contact schools you're waiting to hear back from post-interview and politely say something along the lines of "hey i have an offer from this other school, and I wanted to check on my status at this school." At least, I don't think that would be impolite (I could be wrong).

I'm expecting to hear back from two schools by the end of the month (one school I would decline, the other I would give some thought to, as I mentioned above).

 

[InNae]

Thanks for the replies (and for the congrats!). I'm not 100% decided here, although it's probably about 90%. I'm waiting on one other potential offer from a pretty prestigious POI that I would consider, so I'm not holding off on accepting just to pad my ego or something similar. I maybe shouldn't have been so effusive in my praise for the program at the place that has given me an offer--even though it was genuine--but I wanted to show them how much I desired to be there. But now I'm thinking it will come off poorly if I don't accept right away...

What about an offer from "pretty prestigious POI" would overcome your current thought that you're 90% sold on the program that already made you an offer? Either you prefer that POI (with or without an offer) to the current offer, or not.

At the very least, please contact the program that you would decline to withdraw your application. As others note, there are other applicants hoping for those spots, and some programs don't have waitlists, meaning if you don't withdraw before the offers are made (presuming they want to make you an offer), someone else will get screwed. Don't be an unprofessional a-hole.

 

[DanM]

What about an offer from "pretty prestigious POI" would overcome your current thought that you're 90% sold on the program that already made you an offer? Either you prefer that POI (with or without an offer) to the current offer, or not.

At the very least, please contact the program that you would decline to withdraw your application. As others note, there are other applicants hoping for those spots, and some programs don't have waitlists, meaning if you don't withdraw before the offers are made (presuming they want to make you an offer), someone else will get screwed. Don't be an unprofessional a-hole.

Hold off on the name-calling, junior. You don't know me or my situation. This is an important decision that will affect the rest of my life. If I need to wait an extra couple weeks to go from 90 to 100% sure, then I will. The venom dripping from your post is palpable and not appreciated at all.

 

[InNae]

? I didn't call you names. I said, don't be an unprofessional a-hole. Don't be that person who holds an offer he doesn't intend to take, while another applicant gets screwed (which is an important situation for the rest of that person's life). I did not say you were already that person.

I also didn't say you shouldn't wait to decide on the 10%. I posed a question to help you think about the reasons you might take a program/POI who is only currently at 10% in your estimation. It's just a question - you did after all post for feedback. Or did you?

I DID say that you should withdraw your application from the program you said you intend to decline if given an offer. Re-read the earlier post for the reason.

I understand this is a stressful time for applicants, and it's probably easy to read "venom" where none exists. I'll consider that a small price for the potential to advocate for other applicants (the ones waiting for the spot you don't want). If one other person reads this thread and withdraws their application from one program, and one student who wanted that spot gets it, it's a win for collegiality and professionalism.

 

[DanM]

? I didn't call you names. I said, don't be an unprofessional a-hole. Don't be that person who holds an offer he doesn't intend to take, while another applicant gets screwed (which is an important situation for the rest of that person's life). I did not say you were already that person.

I also didn't say you shouldn't wait to decide on the 10%. I posed a question to help you think about the reasons you might take a program/POI who is only currently at 10% in your estimation. It's just a question - you did after all post for feedback. Or did you?

I DID say that you should withdraw your offer from the program you said you intend to decline if given an offer. Re-read the earlier post for the reason.

I understand this is a stressful time for applicants, and it's probably easy to read "venom" where none exists. I'll consider that a small price for the potential to advocate for other applicants (the ones waiting for the spot you don't want). If one other person reads this thread and withdraws their application from one program, and one student who wanted that spot gets it, it's a win for collegiality and professionalism.

You were basically implying I was being that "unprofessional a-hole" by not making my decision immediately. And while it's fine to advocate for other applicants, I am also a part of that group and my interests are just as important as long as I'm not being unreasonable (like holding onto multiple offers until April just because I can). While I appreciate any insight offered, it should be constructive. Back on topic, I feel like I should at least wait until I hear the details of a potential offer from the other POI before completely committing, even though I'm almost certain. I guess I'm concerned that if I'm honest, the school making the current offer might think "I thought we were your top choice?" and withdraw their offer. Unreasonable maybe, but that's why I posted this topic.

 

[psychRA]

I'm waiting on one other potential offer from a pretty prestigious POI that I would consider, so I'm not holding off on accepting just to pad my ego or something similar.

This seems like a valid reason to hold onto your current offer. Of course you don't want to hold offers just for the sake of holding them, but don't feel that you have to accept or decline this one right away just because they happen to have accepted you relatively early in the season. Don't hold more than one offer at a time, but doesn't make sense to decline one offer until you get another that you'd prefer.

One of the reasons that programs have agreed on a uniform date of April 15th is to prevent any one program (or programs) from swooping in with early decisions and then snapping up desirable applicants by pressuring them to accept before they've heard from their other programs. As anyone who applied for postdoc in the last couple of years can attest, it's incredibly frustrating to put the time and effort into applying to multiple sites, only to end up in a position where you get an early offer that you're not allowed to hold, and you have to decide whether to give it up (and risk not getting another offer) or accept it (and miss out on a later offer from a site that you prefer).

If there is one (or more) program that you would accept over your current offer, feel free to get in touch with them to let them know that you have another offer that you will decline if you are accepted by their program. Although they may not be able to speed up their decisions, it's possible that they might give you a general sense of where you stand, particularly if you are at the high or the low end of their list. Of course, you don't want to do this unless you're certain that you would accept the second program's offer, so if there are multiple programs that you prefer to your current offer, time this wisely.

 

[InNae]

I didn't imply. You inferred. I also clarified (see prior post, and perhaps read it as "do not become..."?), and you might consider taking my word for it, given I have zero reason to call strangers names.

Sure, wait to hear the offer from the potential program of interest. Also, please withdraw your application from the program you already know you won't accept (unless I'm misreading, there seems to be a third program that you plan to decline?).

An offer in writing cannot be withdrawn before April 15. Also, faculty know that strong candidates have multiple offers, so don't worry about it.

 

[QAsPsych]

I guess I'm concerned that if I'm honest, the school making the current offer might think "I thought we were your top choice?" and withdraw their offer. Unreasonable maybe, but that's why I posted this topic.

This is just not a thing that happens. I agree it's nice to withdraw from anywhere you don't think you would consider at this point, but it's reasonable to hold the one while waiting to see what the offer from the other program looks like, regardless of what you told the school that accepted you.

 

[PsychBiker]

This is just not a thing that happens. I agree it's nice to withdraw from anywhere you don't think you would consider at this point, but it's reasonable to hold the one while waiting to see what the offer from the other program looks like, regardless of what you told the school that accepted you.

Agreed.

You want to wait off making a choice on which school? Fine. You are deciding between your top 3 (guessing) schools? Thats fine too. However, let the other schools that aren't in your top 3 know your decision. There are plenty of other potential students waiting in anxiety.

 

[DanM]

It really is down to two schools at this point, and I should hear from the second school within the next two weeks. I'm thinking I'll express my elation to the POI who gave me an offer, but explain that while they are my top choice and I won't be accepting any more interviews, I'd like to wait until I hear from this other school.

 

[fresnel]

DanM, It is early and I can understand your wanting to consider things carefully. After you have an offer you can start asking the hard questions and the answers may change how you order the schools. Seems like you are trying to handle this in a thoughtful manner. Just like with college, collecting offers to satisfy your curiously or ego is obviously not justifiable because others are waiting and hoping. So, if you have some you know fall way below the schools you are holding offers from, call them and withdraw from consideration--something you are planning anyway. Then try to get rid of any offers that you know you won't accept given the others that you have. It is best to hold only two at a time but you have every right to hold as many of them as you feel the need to until you know for sure you wouldn't accept one-and then decline. Since you are holding the cards, this is a good time to ask questions about any problematic aspects of the program . I've said this before and others disagree, but I'd find out about how long it takes students to complete the program, hit rate for internships, length of the last renewal of APA accreditation, stability of funding, availability of placements in areas/populations that interest you, overall climate, number of students who take a very long time to complete the program or who drop out, #leaving after MA, cooperation among faculty members/labs, equity, potential stumbling blocks, qualities of the community...If you have choice you might as well make a very informed decision. Good luck.

 

[empathiosis]

It really is down to two schools at this point, and I should hear from the second school within the next two weeks. I'm thinking I'll express my elation to the POI who gave me an offer, but explain that while they are my top choice and I won't be accepting any more interviews, I'd like to wait until I hear from this other school.

I wouldn't tell them that they are your top choice because if I heard that it would make me think, If we're top choice why hasn't he/she accepted the offer? They know you're a great applicant and that you'll have other offers. They also know you don't have to decide right away. Just thank them for the offer, tell them you were happy to receive it but need some time to think it over, since it's a major life decision. They will understand. In my program, it's not unusual for us to wait several weeks for applicants to make up their minds.

 

[fallen625]

Random question - if my husband is looking for jobs at cities where I was admitted, is it okay to hold multiple offers at a time? I wouldn't hold 5 offers for a time, but it may be helpful for us if I hold three offers or so.

 

[MCParent]

It's not unprofessional to consider all your options. If the other school comes at you with a $25000 fellowship, would that sway you away from the offer at your present top choice?

It's not a "a-hole" move at all to look out for your best interests and consider your options.

What you can do, is, if you have "tiers" of programs, as many people do, pull out of the ones that you know can't compete with the near-ideal offer you have. Continue to consider your options at the other programs. It's the next 5-7 years of your life and a major decision, there's no shame in considering your options.

 

[InNae]

MCParent, the OP is talking about waiting for a decision from a third program from which he has no intention of accepting an offer. Are you suggesting that applicants wait to hear about offers they have no intention of accepting, rather than withdrawing to make room for applicants who actually might want to attend that program?

 

[MCParent]

MCParent, the OP is talking about waiting for a decision from a third program from which he has no intention of accepting an offer. Are you suggesting that applicants wait to hear about offers they have no intention of accepting, rather than withdrawing to make room for applicants who actually might want to attend that program?

Ah, the OP later said it was "down to two schools," which is what I was paying attention to. If the OP is hanging onto a third for no reason (which contradicts the OP's statement that she/he is not collecting offers for ego gratification...) then that falls under the third paragraph of what I just posted--cut out the lower tier offer if you know you won't take it.

 

[InNae]

I'm expecting to hear back from two schools by the end of the month (one school I would decline, the other I would give some thought to, as I mentioned above).

This is what I mean. The OP is waiting to hear from a program he would decline.

 

[InNae]

Ah, the OP later said it was "down to two schools," which is what I was paying attention to. If the OP is hanging onto a third for no reason (which contradicts the OP's statement that she/he is not collecting offers for ego gratification...) then that falls under the third paragraph of what I just posted--cut out the lower tier offer if you know you won't take it.

Ok - seems we're in agreement.

 

[DanM]

MCParent, the OP is talking about waiting for a decision from a third program from which he has no intention of accepting an offer. Are you suggesting that applicants wait to hear about offers they have no intention of accepting, rather than withdrawing to make room for applicants who actually might want to attend that program?

This is false. It's down to two schools - the one I got the offer from, and the other I'm still considering.

 

[MCParent]

This is false. It's down to two schools - the one I got the offer from, and the other I'm still considering.

It seems like you either changed your mind about the third school, or wrote something unclear above. Holding onto offers that you know you will reject is indeed a bad thing to do. If you're not doing that, good.

 

[notfullyfathomd]

Just thank them for the offer, tell them you were happy to receive it but need some time to think it over, since it's a major life decision. They will understand. In my program, it's not unusual for us to wait several weeks for applicants to make up their minds.

I totally agree with this -- it's how my program works as well. I wouldn't draw it out once you hear from the other school, but it's important to feel comfortable with the decision that you're making.

 

[psychRA]

Random question - if my husband is looking for jobs at cities where I was admitted, is it okay to hold multiple offers at a time? I wouldn't hold 5 offers for a time, but it may be helpful for us if I hold three offers or so.

I believe that there's a guideline somewhere stating that you should not hold more than one offer at once. Remember that while you're holding three offers, you're holding two slots that could go to other people. And for all you know, one of those people might be holding an offer at your top choice while they wait for you to let go of one of your offers.

I totally understand why you'd prefer to keep your options open. If your husband knows that he's going to hear back from one of his jobs in a few days, or at least has a very clear date by which he will have a decision, you might be able to justify holding the job offer in that city for a set period of time. But if you're holding three offers indefinitely while he looks for jobs in those three cities, in my opinion, that's not fair to other applicants. Since there's still plenty of time for job searching before you actually have to relocate, I would suggest choosing a grad program that's the best fit for you while also being in the best location for him, and then helping him to focus his job efforts in that city.

 

[AcronymAllergy]

I don't remember where I saw it, but the suggestion to not hold more than one definitely sounds familiar (maybe it was in the Insider's Guide somewhere...?). If you're going to hold 3, I'd strongly recommend you only do so for a few days if at all possible.

It's actually something you could spend some energy on ahead of time by rank-ordering the schools as best you can. That way, once the offers start coming in, you'll be able to quickly decide which offer to hold and which others to relinquish. And it'll be excellent practice for later ranking internship sites.

 

[QAsPsych]

The only guideline I have ever seen is not to hold more than two at the same time: http://cudcp.us/files/summary_offers_acceptances_policy.pdf

I have, however, been told by program directors not to hold onto more than one offer at a time because of how many other offers down the line you may be holding up by doing so as others hold onto their offers and keep their fingers crossed for waitlist spots. WRT fallen625's situation, If my (imaginary) partner had really solid second or third round interviews for jobs in all three locations, I could see holding onto three offers temporarily; but if he wasn't at least that far along in the process, I would make my own decision and let him focus his efforts in a single place.

 

[DanM]

It seems like you either changed your mind about the third school, or wrote something unclear above. Holding onto offers that you know you will reject is indeed a bad thing to do. If you're not doing that, good.

I said I interviewed at a couple other schools, but not that I had offers that I was holding onto.

 

[DanM]

Thanks for all the advice everyone, it's been quite helpful.

 

[researchgirl]

I think what is getting confused here is the difference between holding multiple offers and notifying a school that you are no longer interested in attending their program before they extend offers. It is considered courteous and appropriate to withdraw your application from all schools in which you interviewed as soon as you accept another offer. In some cases, it would be good form to withdraw your application from a school if you know you would decline an admissions offer, even if you have not officially accepted an offer elsewhere. So, it sounds like DanM had a 1st choice school + offer, a 2nd choice school + no word yet, and another school (school #3) where he interviewed + no word yet, but knows he would not attend. It would be good form for DanM to contact school #3 to withdraw his application ASAP. However, he is not obligated to do so until he accepts an offer elsewhere.

I believe the code (wherever I read it 5ish years ago) also stated that it is permissible to hold a maximum of 2 offers at a time for a short period of time, to allow oneself to make a decision.

As for your original question, DanM, I think if you respond to your offer in a reasonable amount of time you should not be concerned that they will be upset or think less of you for not accepting immeadiately; and I believe that ethically, they are not allowed to withdraw their offer until April.

 

[QAsPsych]

I believe the code (wherever I read it 5ish years ago) also stated that it is permissible to hold a maximum of 2 offers at a time for a short period of time, to allow oneself to make a decision.

The "code," which I linked above, says not to hold more than two offers for more than a week, unless there is some good reason (waiting on funding decision, visiting a campus in person before deciding). Obviously it's better to decide than hold offers and hem and haw when you have all the facts, but the general guidelines give applicants more flexibility than many people here seem to think is appropriate.