PS Writing Problems

[blackangussteak]

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[Jess Monster]

I always feel that to veer away from "sob story" land, you need to state what you've learned or have gained in some way from that experience, even if you just persevered and survived it without some great epiphany. Then the narrative is less about evoking pity and more about personal accomplishment.

 

[LetItSnow]

I always feel that to veer away from "sob story" land, you need to state what you've learned or have gained in some way from that experience, even if you just persevered and survived it without some great epiphany. Then the narrative is less about evoking pity and more about personal accomplishment.

Yeah, what JM said. To phrase it differently in case it helps, you can safely give a brief and objective description of the obstacles, but make sure the bulk is focused on the evidence of positive change since. If you spend 4 sentences talking about health and relationships and how tough it all was and 1 sentence saying "Hey, since then my grades are up!" that's going to be perceived differently than a few sentences detailing the difficulties you faced followed by a paragraph of "But since then ......."

It's pretty much all about what the focus is: the relationships/health, or the accomplishments.

The only thing I'd add to what JM said is that because it's a tricky line to walk, make sure you have *at least* 3 people read your PS who will give you blunt, honest feedback. Don't just pick friends who will pat you on the back and say "Yeah! Way to go!" Pick people who will be appropriately critical.

 

[BlackDog17]

I definitely agree with what JM and LIS said. I've also noticed that it sounds less like a sob story if you include your own role in the problem instead of blaming everything on the situation or on the other people involved. So for example, instead of saying something like "My grades are bad because of my controlling significant other" you could say "I refused to listen to my friends and family when they advised me to end the relationship, and I had trouble focusing on my academics as a result." You'll have to determine the best wording to describe your own situation, of course.

Obviously what happened with your relationship and your health is in no way your fault, but if you take responsibility for the things that you did have control over (such as your grades) your personal statement will appear much more mature and much less like a sob story to the adcoms.

 

[sblove17]

I also have a personal statement question about the format of my essay. I am making sure to directly answer the prompt, but I am finding that I am discussing my goals and objectives after each relevant experience (i.e. talking about oncology goals immediately after discussing my experience in oncology), as opposed to discussing the experiences that have prepared me for a professional program and THEN discussing my goals/objectives (breaking them into different sections). Do you think this is okay?? Help 😕 Thanks!!!

PS sorry if my question is confusing😳

 

[LetItSnow]

I also have a personal statement question about the format of my essay. I am making sure to directly answer the prompt, but I am finding that I am discussing my goals and objectives after each relevant experience (i.e. talking about oncology goals immediately after discussing my experience in oncology), as opposed to discussing the experiences that have prepared me for a professional program and THEN discussing my goals/objectives (breaking them into different sections). Do you think this is okay?? Help 😕 Thanks!!!

PS sorry if my question is confusing😳

I think any format that is coherent, professional, and addresses the question is reasonable. Just make sure you have a few people review it. (That said, my instinctive reaction is that you're going about it the wrong way: I think you might want to discuss your goals/objectives, but then use a brief reference to relevant experience to support your interest.)

BlackDog: Since "take personal responsibility" has been one of my points I harp on, I can't believe I didn't mention it. HUGE important point. Thx for saying it.

 

[Bearby]

I also have a personal statement question about the format of my essay. I am making sure to directly answer the prompt, but I am finding that I am discussing my goals and objectives after each relevant experience (i.e. talking about oncology goals immediately after discussing my experience in oncology), as opposed to discussing the experiences that have prepared me for a professional program and THEN discussing my goals/objectives (breaking them into different sections). Do you think this is okay?? Help 😕 Thanks!!!

PS sorry if my question is confusing😳

So, my first application cycle, I received feedback on my PS saying that it was too much like a resume. They already had my resume because the VMCAS covers all of the classes/work/volunteering that you've done. Use the personal statement to sell yourself. My second application cycle I picked a trait that I thought was important in a veterinarian and gave specific examples that showcased that I had that trait. I'm pretty proud of my second PS.

 

[that redhead]

The best way to avoid the "sob story" vibe is to be as succinct as possible when addressing the problems and move on to what you learned/how you will continue to succeed. Personally, I think it's better left to the explanation statement section instead of your PS, but it is a personal statement after all and ultimately your choice.