This was sent to me as a joke but is remarkably accurate. Based on which Barbie you like the most, you can choose what part of town you want to live in!
West Omaha Barbie
This princess Barbie is only sold at Village Point. She comes with
an assortment of Kate Spade handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign
dog named Honey and a cookie cutter house. Available with or without tummy
tuck and face-lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with
This modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Windstar
minivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full-time
occupation or secondary education. Traffic jamming cell phone sold
I don't even know. lol
This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or
Hummer H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card and country
club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private
School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them.
Council Bluffs Barbie
Other side of the river
This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes
too small, a NASCAR shirt and Tweety Bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has
a six pack of Coors Light and a Hank Williams , Jr. CD set. She can spit
over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's butt when he's drunk. Purchase
her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker
90th and Dodge
This collagen injected, rhino-plastic Barbie wears undergarments
from Borsheims and drinks cosmopolitans while entertaining friends at
Gorat's. Percocet prescription available.
North of Midtown
This tobacco chewing, brassy haired Barbie has a pair of her own
high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased
beer-gutted Ken out of Council Bluffs Barbie's house. Her ensemble
includes low-rise acid washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see through
halter-top. Also available with a mobile home.
This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown
hair, archless feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstocks with white
socks. She prefers that you call her "Willow." She does not want or need a
Ken doll, but if you purchase two Dundee Barbies and the optional Subaru
wagon, you get a rainbow flag sticker for free.
South O Barbie
This Barbie now comes with a stroller and infant doll. Optional
accessories include a GED and bus pass. Graffiti Artist Juan and his '88
Low Rider Honda Civic were available, but are now very difficult to find
since the addition of the infant.
North West (very west) Omaha
She's perfect in every way. We don't know who Ken is 'cause he's