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Quoted: Unexpected child (paternity)
Started by Doodledog
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I would advise you to have a conversation with the woman and try to get an understanding of what her financial situation is. Will she be applying for foodstamps or welfare? The state will automatically seek you out for repayment of any aid provided to her.
Try explaining to her that you will do what you can until you finish medical school.
In most states I think the maximum you can be ordered to pay is 17% of your income for one child. If you have no income from employment the judge will order for something to be paid.
Remember not to sign that birth certificate until paternity results are in.
Try explaining to her that you will do what you can until you finish medical school.
In most states I think the maximum you can be ordered to pay is 17% of your income for one child. If you have no income from employment the judge will order for something to be paid.
Remember not to sign that birth certificate until paternity results are in.
Assuming that this is your child, here's some advice that was given to my dad by his lawyer, after my mother left him:
Even if she doesn't request aid initially, start paying her monthly. Write a check for whatever amount seems reasonable and mail it to her.
Now, she's less likely to drag you into court over child support. Even if she does, you just gained the judge's favor, b/c you're already doing the responsible thing. Plus, anything you pay now counts to what you owe later.
Even if she doesn't request aid initially, start paying her monthly. Write a check for whatever amount seems reasonable and mail it to her.
Now, she's less likely to drag you into court over child support. Even if she does, you just gained the judge's favor, b/c you're already doing the responsible thing. Plus, anything you pay now counts to what you owe later.
I think that jumping right to a dollar sign might be a little quick...
First things first, make sure it's yours.
Second step is having a talk with the women. Explain your situation, ask her about hers, and come up with a plan of attack. Maybe you can help in other departments other than finances.
If she insists on child support, I wouldn't search for loans, but rather scholarships and grants. For example, SHE can apply for a few being a single mother, which could "even out" what she would need from you, for now, until you are done with school. Then comes the child support...
And the wild card... have you two considered making it work? You would be surprised how many "one night whoppppsies" have turned into meaningful marriages.
First things first, make sure it's yours.
Second step is having a talk with the women. Explain your situation, ask her about hers, and come up with a plan of attack. Maybe you can help in other departments other than finances.
If she insists on child support, I wouldn't search for loans, but rather scholarships and grants. For example, SHE can apply for a few being a single mother, which could "even out" what she would need from you, for now, until you are done with school. Then comes the child support...
And the wild card... have you two considered making it work? You would be surprised how many "one night whoppppsies" have turned into meaningful marriages.
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If you're just about to start med school, you must be pretty young. Perhaps you're around 22?
Now think about the kind of woman you would like to end up with. What characteristics does she have? Is she smart, beautiful, financially independent, etc? Do you think she'd be willing to make a life-long commitment and deal with the complexities of another woman's child? As an medical student, who grew up in an affluent neighborhood, I get the impression that most "high-powered educated women" would not go for a man in your situation.
Now, not everyone wants that kind of wife. But I would seriously consider keeping a warm caring relationship with the potential mother of your child. You might find that under the circumstances, she ends up being your best option.
Of course, if the child isn't yours, thank your lucky stars.
Regarding the expenses of raising children--I've seen medical students forced to take out high interest PLUS loans. The military is probably your only viable choice...but I would wait for the paternity test before signing up. Even if you have to take out high interest loans for a year because there's a very good chance that you may limit yourself to a military residency by doing so.
Good luck.
Now think about the kind of woman you would like to end up with. What characteristics does she have? Is she smart, beautiful, financially independent, etc? Do you think she'd be willing to make a life-long commitment and deal with the complexities of another woman's child? As an medical student, who grew up in an affluent neighborhood, I get the impression that most "high-powered educated women" would not go for a man in your situation.
Now, not everyone wants that kind of wife. But I would seriously consider keeping a warm caring relationship with the potential mother of your child. You might find that under the circumstances, she ends up being your best option.
Of course, if the child isn't yours, thank your lucky stars.
Regarding the expenses of raising children--I've seen medical students forced to take out high interest PLUS loans. The military is probably your only viable choice...but I would wait for the paternity test before signing up. Even if you have to take out high interest loans for a year because there's a very good chance that you may limit yourself to a military residency by doing so.
Good luck.
