Quotes

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aretoo

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Time to resurrect the awesome quotes thread - especially faculty quotes.

So we all know how dry intro to radiology lectures can be, today was radiation safety. Talking about fetal dosimeters, the radiologist says, "They get read each month because you don't want to wait 4 months to find out 'oops, fried the baby!'" Further along in the lecture, talking about how radiation affects cells, "Mutagenesis: making xmen. Teratogenesis: making xmens' kids." :p
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Our anatomy prof...

"Palpate everything. I palpate my wife all the time. If you have a significant other, palpate them."
 
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We have a whiteboard in our commonroom with funny things professors say on them, or funny things students say to each other.

One of the funniest was one of my mates "I don't understand why the foetus would want to make a placenta"

From our favourite pathology lecturer:
"let's say you're two weeks overdue, and I do all sorts of things to induce delivery, like saying have hot sex and uh, eat curry, and if that doesn't work we'll pump oxytocin through your veins, and that'll do the trick. Actually, you have to be slightly careful having HOT SEX during late pregnancy because, I digress slightly, but it is rather fascinating... There have been a number of cases of sudden death, and eventually after careful interviewing someone confesses that it was after sexual activity. Oh god, should I even say this? Anyway, the fetus sitting there in its fetal membranes, is delicately interdigitating with its mothers vascular system through the placenta. And if you generate a pumping action, like a piston... And anything can act as a piston, it can be a PENIS or a CARROT or A FIST. Or you can BLOW HARD. Anything like that can be quite dangerous because it pushes those membranes apart and air can get into your circulation. You all know those stories about how you can kill people if you inject air (you have to inject quite a lot of air) OR you can have frantic, wild sex. OR autoerotic practices with carrots OR blowing cocaine smoke into your partners vagina for fun, as a new alternative way of delivering drugs. And uh, all of those are well documented in the scientific literature... We don't read the same journals do we?"
 
"If your animals aren't running away from you by now, you're not palpating them enough!" - our case studies/clinical foundations instructor, first said maybe 3 weeks into the semester

"This is another example of Bill Gates trying to screw with me." - one of our histophys professors (a Mac user) in reference to Powerpoint
 
From the Dean's welcome address:

"You are going to do many exciting things here. You are going to get intimate with a sheep..."
 
sunshinevet said:
From our favourite pathology lecturer:
"let's say you're two weeks overdue, and I do all sorts of things to induce delivery, like saying have hot sex and uh, eat curry, and if that doesn't work we'll pump oxytocin through your veins, and that'll do the trick. Actually, you have to be slightly careful having HOT SEX during late pregnancy because, I digress slightly, but it is rather fascinating... There have been a number of cases of sudden death, and eventually after careful interviewing someone confesses that it was after sexual activity. Oh god, should I even say this? Anyway, the fetus sitting there in its fetal membranes, is delicately interdigitating with its mothers vascular system through the placenta. And if you generate a pumping action, like a piston... And anything can act as a piston, it can be a PENIS or a CARROT or A FIST. Or you can BLOW HARD. Anything like that can be quite dangerous because it pushes those membranes apart and air can get into your circulation. You all know those stories about how you can kill people if you inject air (you have to inject quite a lot of air) OR you can have frantic, wild sex. OR autoerotic practices with carrots OR blowing cocaine smoke into your partners vagina for fun, as a new alternative way of delivering drugs. And uh, all of those are well documented in the scientific literature... We don't read the same journals do we?"
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OH ****!!! That is freakin crazy! I'd get the giggles that would last til the end of the day with that one!
 
In Therio:

"You'll know there is a problem, because her vagina will be hanging out"
 
Oh man, these literally have me in stiches at work - keep them coming!
 
Our Histology professor, setting up the gametogenesis video, "you like sex? You like videos? You like sex in videos?"
 
one of our physio profs, trying to say "glycerol":

"Glitterol...(continuing in a high-pitched voice) all little girls like glitterol!"
 
I'm sorry, but I have to say...

"Quote" is a verb, "Quotation" is the noun. So, you "quote" a "quotation."
One of my English teachers in high school always had a hissy fit if you said quote instead of quotation, and I guess it became a pet peeve of mine, too.

These quotations are super funny, though!
 
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ORvetgirl said:
one of our physio profs, trying to say "glycerol":

"Glitterol...(continuing in a high-pitched voice) all little girls like glitterol!"
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Some of the things that come out of his mouth... but I like it. It's better to laugh than cry and it's one or the other in that class.
 
"Every single one of you has to be a self-centered person to get through the next four years" -one of our profs
 
PigsRock said:
I'm sorry, but I have to say...

"Quote" is a verb, "Quotation" is the noun. So, you "quote" a "quotation."
One of my English teachers in high school always had a hissy fit if you said quote instead of quotation, and I guess it became a pet peeve of mine, too.
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False!

From Merriam-Webster:
Main Entry: 2quote
Function: noun
Date: 1888
1 : quotation
2 : quotation mark —often used orally to indicate the beginning of a direct quotation
 
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Ooh, grammar beat-down. I live for these moments.
 
dgm said:
False!

From Merriam-Webster:
Main Entry: 2quote
Function: noun
Date: 1888
1 : quotation
2 : quotation mark —often used orally to indicate the beginning of a direct quotation
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Well, just because it's in the dictionary doesn't mean it's grammatically correct. "Irregardless" is in the dictionary, too....

How about I just go back to the pre-vet forum where I belong and leave the nice vet students alone? Have a good one!:)
 
PigsRock said:
Well, just because it's in the dictionary doesn't mean it's grammatically correct. "Irregardless" is in the dictionary, too....

How about I just go back to the pre-vet forum where I belong and leave the nice vet students alone? Have a good one!:)
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Similarly, just because it isn't your preferred usage doesn't make it gramatically incorrect (don't worry, I also have my share of words that drive me crazy). I agree that presence in the dictionary is not always assurance of correctness - however, irregardless' entry flags it as nonstandard, and includes instruction to use "regardless" instead.

And I don't think anyone minds if you post here :) Okay, back to entertaining quotes! The only ones I can think of are of the variety that were funny at the time, but would probably fall flat here.
 
"Be gentle, be clean, and use a lot of lube."
 
'Lube is a lot cheaper than rectums' -therio doc
 
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