Racial Factor in Admissions?

[PharMed2016]

I know this topic has appeared a few times but I was reading this interesting article and I wondered how much of an impact it had on my admissions process.

Article name is "Some Asians' College Strategy: Don't Check Asian." by AP.

Just some interesting food for thought. Personally, I don't think it should mattered but I understand that there could be very well a bias.

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[Nasrudin]

I know this topic has appeared a few times but I was reading this interesting article and I wondered how much of an impact it had on my admissions process.

Article name is "Some Asians' College Strategy: Don't Check Asian." by AP.

Just some interesting food for thought. Personally, I don't think it should mattered but I understand that there could be very well a bias.

To whom it matters and how. And what the effect is. Is impossible to say.

Overall it shouldn't effect one's application strategy too much.

Regardless. Congrats. So it doubly doesn't matter.

 

[dbizzy]

I know this topic has appeared a few times but I was reading this interesting article and I wondered how much of an impact it had on my admissions process.

Article name is "Some Asians' College Strategy: Don't Check Asian." by AP.

Just some interesting food for thought. Personally, I don't think it should mattered but I understand that there could be very well a bias.

https://www.aamc.org/data/facts/app...mcat-gpa-grid-by-selected-race-ethnicity.html

In the medical world, I'd say it's probably safe to lump Asian and White together in terms of affirmative action. Unlike some undergraduate institutions, however, in healthcare there are actually some decent reasons for consideration of URM's with lower statistics than non-URMs.

I'm all for racial and ethnic diversity in medicine, just as long as the affirmative action is done in moderation and we don't cut too many statistical corners in the name of diversity.

 

[Nasrudin]

https://www.aamc.org/data/facts/app...mcat-gpa-grid-by-selected-race-ethnicity.html

In the medical world, I'd say it's probably safe to lump Asian and White together in terms of affirmative action. Unlike some undergraduate institutions, however, in healthcare there are actually some decent reasons for consideration of URM's with lower statistics than non-URMs.

I'm all for racial and ethnic diversity in medicine, just as long as the affirmative action is done in moderation and we don't cut too many statistical corners in the name of diversity.

I am an affirmative action whiteboy with "cut academic corners."

Precisely why I don't know what race means in admissions. I am quite familiar with the statistical sources on this. Again. Their meaning?

There's an article on the sdn homepage by my one-time excellent personal statement adviser--Dr. Jessica Freedman. It's about the best look you can get at what the subjective/objective soup is on the other end of our app's.

If you have views--ouch that guy in the mirror is a weirdo--that you want to see manifested. The best thing to do is to get in and get involved with the admissions committee. At my school I am fairly certain students do this. And that the practice is common.

 

[PharMed2016]

To whom it matters and how. And what the effect is. Is impossible to say.

Overall it shouldn't effect one's application strategy too much.

Regardless. Congrats. So it doubly doesn't matter.

True - just thinking about it after the fact. I'm happy with where I got in (top choice) so that's really all that is important to me.

 

[dbizzy]

To whom it matters and how. And what the effect is. Is impossible to say.

Overall it shouldn't effect one's application strategy too much.

Regardless. Congrats. So it doubly doesn't matter.

I am an affirmative action whiteboy with "cut academic corners."

Precisely why I don't know what race means in admissions. I am quite familiar with the statistical sources on this. Again. Their meaning?

There's an article on the sdn homepage by my one-time excellent personal statement adviser--Dr. Jessica Freedman. It's about the best look you can get at what the subjective/objective soup is on the other end of our app's.

If you have views--ouch that guy in the mirror is a weirdo--that you want to see manifested. The best thing to do is to get in and get involved with the admissions committee. At my school I am fairly certain students do this. And that the practice is common.

I have no idea what you just said, but thanks anyway for the feedback.

 

[FutureDrB]

I have no idea what you just said, but thanks anyway for the feedback.

 

[Nasrudin]

I have no idea what you just said, but thanks anyway for the feedback.

Just that one could easily make a case that I'm an affirmative action beneficiary. Given my school and my academic credentials at the time of application. I wouldn't even care or know how to dispute that. Given my caucasoid genetics. What sense does our attempt to isolate unknowable factors make? None.

And neither is there anything that can be ascertained about specific criteria at use by the multitude and myriad confederate academic selection bodies. Especially as they pertain to one applicant or the next.

Each group has a different goal. A different composition. Even year to year. And the statistics are anything but revealing.

For example. It is often assumed by the applying population that GWU is an ideal place to apply if your numbers are lower because their gpa averages seem to indicate this. But they receive enormous quantities of application. So which application factor is more important to those few who got in and attended? Race, score, interview, EC's? And so on.

Institutions are deliberately cryptic about how they use their criteria for a variety of reasons. None of them is to make themselves clearly understood to anyone who wishes to know the importance of race as an isolated factor.

So. Just apply. And try to communicate well. And build a coherent narrative as to why you for them.

That's all you can do.

 

[NTF]

I tend to scoff at the complaints of my fellow asians that we're somehow selected against given that we're routinely overrepresented (1.5-2x the population percentage) in higher education, medical school included. (I always chuckled about the lack of south asian doctors in the early seasons of ER).

People get hung up on the race thing but the impact to an individual's applications is minimal. Your application and successful presentation of your strengths is still the main driving factor. And contrary to sour grapes med schools absolutely aren't going to accept an unqualified candidate simply because they're underrepresented. The question becomes amongst many qualified candidates who to choose from and it involves a multifactorial process that does include race and socioeconomic background at times. Different candidates are advocated for admission based on different reasons. Med schools are trying to create a variety of quality physicians who will contribute to the medical field and society in different ways. Some will become physician scientists, some will provide much needed care to underserved areas, some will become academic physicians, some will become valued community physicians.

I figure medical schools are really trying to first answer 3 questions when they look at an application.
1)Can they handle a medical school curriculum?
2)What kind of physician will they be?
3)Are they committed to medicine?

I think if there's significant doubt about about 1, 2 or 3 you're not likely to make it into the "qualified pile". So if you see anything your application that sheds doubt on any of these you'd be wise to address those directly in someway as you build your application.

After you're in the qualified pile, only then would issues like race or background come into play. Questions (amongst many) they're likely to ask themselves are
1)How likely will they be to make a significant impact to the field of medicine as a whole?
2)How likely will they be to serve an underserved area of medicine?
3)How will they add to the diversity of experiences in their medical school class?
4)How likely will they be to practice medicine locally? (state-schools)
5)Are they a good fit for our school?

Affirmative action or reverse discrimination always seem to bring out some anger, but the reality is if you take the time to build your application and address deficiencies your race is not going keep you out of medical school.

There are things I find disturbing about medical school demographics but the white and asian candidates getting dissed isn't one of them. What I find disturbing is:
1)>75% of medical students come from families who are in the top 40% of income earners.
2)Minorities (excluding asians) are still routinely underrepresented. At my school non-asian minorities are probably 1/3 of their representation in the population at large. With the hordes of applicants every year I find it hard to swallow that there is that much of a dearth of qualified minority applicants.

There's always an element of uncertainty and a significant degree of subjectivity to the process. Apply broadly and early.

 

[Nasrudin]

I tend to scoff at the complaints of my fellow asians that we're somehow selected against given that we're routinely overrepresented (1.5-2x the population percentage) in higher education, medical school included. (I always chuckled about the lack of south asian doctors in the early seasons of ER).

People get hung up on the race thing but the impact to an individual's applications is minimal. Your application and successful presentation of your strengths is still the main driving factor. And contrary to sour grapes med schools absolutely aren't going to accept an unqualified candidate simply because they're underrepresented. The question becomes amongst many qualified candidates who to choose from and it involves a multifactorial process that does include race and socioeconomic background at times. Different candidates are advocated for admission based on different reasons. Med schools are trying to create a variety of quality physicians who will contribute to the medical field and society in different ways. Some will become physician scientists, some will provide much needed care to underserved areas, some will become academic physicians, some will become valued community physicians.

I figure medical schools are really trying to first answer 3 questions when they look at an application.
1)Can they handle a medical school curriculum?
2)What kind of physician will they be?
3)Are they committed to medicine?

I think if there's significant doubt about about 1, 2 or 3 you're not likely to make it into the "qualified pile". So if you see anything your application that sheds doubt on any of these you'd be wise to address those directly in someway as you build your application.

After you're in the qualified pile, only then would issues like race or background come into play. Questions (amongst many) they're likely to ask themselves are
1)How likely will they be to make a significant impact to the field of medicine as a whole?
2)How likely will they be to serve an underserved area of medicine?
3)How will they add to the diversity of experiences in their medical school class?
4)How likely will they be to practice medicine locally? (state-schools)
5)Are they a good fit for our school?

Affirmative action or reverse discrimination always seem to bring out some anger, but the reality is if you take the time to build your application and address deficiencies your race is not going keep you out of medical school.

There are things I find disturbing about medical school demographics but the white and asian candidates getting dissed isn't one of them. What I find disturbing is:
1)>75% of medical students come from families who are in the top 40% of income earners.
2)Minorities (excluding asians) are still routinely underrepresented. At my school non-asian minorities are probably 1/3 of their representation in the population at large. With the hordes of applicants every year I find it hard to swallow that there is that much of a dearth of qualified minority applicants.

There's always an element of uncertainty and a significant degree of subjectivity to the process. Apply broadly and early.

Very nicely put.

When things get real and we start seeing patients. Very few people want to be in a situation where they're taking care of a population that none of the staff represent. Especially given that our History is filled with exploits and human experimentation.

Nobody in their right mind is comfortable with that. A standard medical school demographic in my school's hospital would be ridiculous.

And yes I agree. Even with racially representative medical school classes. It seems the game we play to get here and succeed ensures that most of us are upper middle class in upbringing.

I'm learning some ugly **** about urban poverty where I live. And the fact that these environments don''t produce many doctors--I wish I could say different--But it doesn't surprise me.

 

[theseeker4]

Minorities (excluding asians) are still routinely underrepresented. At my school non-asian minorities are probably 1/3 of their representation in the population at large. With the hordes of applicants every year I find it hard to swallow that there is that much of a dearth of qualified minority applicants.

Unfortunately, I have to disagree with the bolded above. If you look at the URIM acceptance table from AMCAS and the White acceptance table, there is a much higher proportion of the top MCAT and GPA students accepted in the minorities table than the white table.

I would agree that too few minorities being accepted is an unfortunate problem, but implying that the medical schools are passing-over qualified minority applicants in favor of non-URM's is pretty obviously false. If anything, the 100% acceptance rates for minorities with certain MCATs and GPAs, and near 100% for others MCAT and GPA categories compared to significantly lower acceptance rates for white applicants with the same MCAT and GPA would imply that negative aspects of the application are more often overlooked for the URIM's than for non-URIM's.

Improvement needs to occur at the elementary, high school and college level to increase the numbers of minorities who are academically successful. If I knew how to actually accomplish this, of course, I wouldn't be going into medicine but I can say with certainty that there is not, at the Med School admissions level, any evidence of widespread discrimination against well-qualified URIM applicants.

 

[Nasrudin]

Unfortunately, I have to disagree with the bolded above. If you look at the URIM acceptance table from AMCAS and the White acceptance table, there is a much higher proportion of the top MCAT and GPA students accepted in the minorities table than the white table.

I would agree that too few minorities being accepted is an unfortunate problem, but implying that the medical schools are passing-over qualified minority applicants in favor of non-URM's is pretty obviously false. If anything, the 100% acceptance rates for minorities with certain MCATs and GPAs, and near 100% for others MCAT and GPA categories compared to significantly lower acceptance rates for white applicants with the same MCAT and GPA would imply that negative aspects of the application are more often overlooked for the URIM's than for non-URIM's.

Improvement needs to occur at the elementary, high school and college level to increase the numbers of minorities who are academically successful. If I knew how to actually accomplish this, of course, I wouldn't be going into medicine but I can say with certainty that there is not, at the Med School admissions level, any evidence of widespread discrimination against well-qualified URIM applicants.

It's a tricky issue.

I could actually go along with the Mcwhorter/Steele thesis. Unfashionable as it is. Even as it is antithetical to the dogma of educational institutions. Because if a Charles Drew could be created in a adverse playing field one would wonder what could be accomplished on a reasonably level field with the right mindset.

On the other hand. In the Nasrudin School of medcine. We would toss all of the top scoring students in the trash. Because. They're f'n weenies. Who the hell wants to hang out with those guys.

Then we would rigorously screen for evidence of a sense of humor.

Then for how many times life has kicked you in the balls. Because anyone can feign humility for hours at a time.

Then how good of a team player are you.

Then. Some evidence of academic competency and desire to see the course of training through.

Doubtless. We would rank at the bottom of the rankings year after year. And be loving it. A schoolwide celebration for every last place ranking earned.

 

[NTF]

any evidence of widespread discrimination against well-qualified URIM applicants.

Widespread discrimination, I'll grant you. But I do think that there are subtle biases and pressures that probably end up with some potentially qualified URM candidates being overlooked. Like anything these are countless little particles of influence. In some cases it prevents an ORM candidate from getting a spot. But these things are all about trends. And I feel the overall weight of this myriad of influences ends up with qualified URM's continuing to be overlooked at greater numbers than qualified ORM's. I'll reiterate that I still find it hard to swallow that my med school could only muster up 1/3 of URM candidates compared to population representation. Just as they're points for being underprivileged or underrepresented in the admissions process they're also points for being privileged (not to mention just the general advantages of growing up privileged.)

For instance, I know for a fact that at my school being the child of a doctor is a plus. Their logic is that a child of a doctor is more likely to understand what being a doctor is day to day and the rigors of the training; and therefore more likely to complete training. Which is logic I understand, but it does give children of privilege a leg up. Also I know consideration is given to school prestige, which often end up being expensive private schools. Also, there is pressure on adcoms to not let average MCAT and GPAs fall too low, as it affects school reputation. This factor probably loses spots for plenty of qualified candidates ORM & URM alike, but disproportionately for URM's.

So is it some nefarious plot to exclude URM's? Of course not. But 1/3 representation of URM compared to population is the best they could muster? I'm sorry I don't buy it.

 

[theseeker4]

Widespread discrimination, I'll grant you. But I do think that there are subtle biases and pressures that probably end up with some potentially qualified URM candidates being overlooked. Like anything these are countless little particles of influence. In some cases it prevents an ORM candidate from getting a spot. But these things are all about trends. And I feel the overall weight of this myriad of influences ends up with qualified URM's continuing to be overlooked at greater numbers than qualified ORM's. I'll reiterate that I still find it hard to swallow that my med school could only muster up 1/3 of URM candidates compared to population representation. Just as they're points for being underprivileged or underrepresented in the admissions process they're also points for being privileged (not to mention just the general advantages of growing up privileged.)

For instance, I know for a fact that at my school being the child of a doctor is a plus. Their logic is that a child of a doctor is more likely to understand what being a doctor is day to day and the rigors of the training; and therefore more likely to complete training. Which is logic I understand, but it does give children of privilege a leg up. Also I know consideration is given to school prestige, which often end up being expensive private schools. Also, there is pressure on adcoms to not let average MCAT and GPAs fall too low, as it affects school reputation. This factor probably loses spots for plenty of qualified candidates ORM & URM alike, but disproportionately for URM's.

So is it some nefarious plot to exclude URM's? Of course not. But 1/3 representation of URM compared to population is the best they could muster? I'm sorry I don't buy it.

I get what you are saying. I just have to look at the numbers, and I just don't see evidence that truly qualified URM applicants are being passed over, other than in %'s far smaller than their non-URM counterparts. Sure, there is a much smaller proportion of these populations who produce the numbers that fall in the "qualified" range (however medical schools define this) AND also apply to medical school, but the influences that push these numbers down for these populations occur long before the medical school admissions process.

There is also the question of self-selection bias; are a significant number of qualified URM's choosing not to apply to medical school? Maybe a larger proportion of Whites (and almost certainly a larger proportion of Asian students) who CAN get in choose to apply than qualified members of URM groups. I have to say though, I don't buy that MORE qualified URM's are overlooked than their non-URM counterparts as a % basis, just by looking at the numbers. Many factors come into play, but simply looking at an undergraduate student population, and comparing it to a medical school population is not enough to even call it evidence of a bias in accepting applicants.

Regarding whether there have been individual applicants who were URM's and were overlooked even though they were fully-qualified, I am sure it has happened. I am also sure there are non-URM applicants who were similarly qualified and overlooked. I am sure there are even individual admissions committee members who have an active dislike for certain races, genders, etc. and let those biases affect their admissions decisions. Overall though, even a subtle bias against URM's would be evident in the numbers, if it was pervasive and not isolated as in the example situations above.

 

[theseeker4]

A schoolwide celebration for every last place ranking earned.

Even for Step I Pass rate?

 

[Nasrudin]

Even for Step I Pass rate?

No for that we'd get deadly serious.

But for corporate dollars and research funding--the crux of the ranking system. We'd give'em the double bird.

Instead we'd cut corners by dismissing lecturers and expensive facilities. Furnish everyone with apple lap tops and ipads. Cut a sweetheart deal with the test prep and other A/V material companies. Hire a chef to cook superb healthy fare. And require attendance at PE classes and parties only until ward years.

Our mission: To produce the funniest, happiest, most chill, easiest to get along with, and healthiest doctors on the planet.

 

[Nasrudin]

I get what you are saying. I just have to look at the numbers, and I just don't see evidence that truly qualified URM applicants are being passed over, other than in %'s far smaller than their non-URM counterparts. Sure, there is a much smaller proportion of these populations who produce the numbers that fall in the "qualified" range (however medical schools define this) AND also apply to medical school, but the influences that push these numbers down for these populations occur long before the medical school admissions process.

There is also the question of self-selection bias; are a significant number of qualified URM's choosing not to apply to medical school? Maybe a larger proportion of Whites (and almost certainly a larger proportion of Asian students) who CAN get in choose to apply than qualified members of URM groups. I have to say though, I don't buy that MORE qualified URM's are overlooked than their non-URM counterparts as a % basis, just by looking at the numbers. Many factors come into play, but simply looking at an undergraduate student population, and comparing it to a medical school population is not enough to even call it evidence of a bias in accepting applicants.

Regarding whether there have been individual applicants who were URM's and were overlooked even though they were fully-qualified, I am sure it has happened. I am also sure there are non-URM applicants who were similarly qualified and overlooked. I am sure there are even individual admissions committee members who have an active dislike for certain races, genders, etc. and let those biases affect their admissions decisions. Overall though, even a subtle bias against URM's would be evident in the numbers, if it was pervasive and not isolated as in the example situations above.

I hear what you're saying. But the narrowing of the argument to numbers weakens the idea to me. Because I myself feel that higher numbers is not what medicine needs. And in all dudeness, I could never comfortably inhabit such an uptight state of mind as what your conclusions lead to. One based on a competitive numbers world view.

What you're saying that I agree with is this: Guilty white liberal culture has enabled a whole industry of parasitic ideation to exist in the educational system. One that excuses all in the hope being vetted favorably by the likes of Al Sharpton et al. Fearing being labeled a racist by the mere act of being an honest sentient independent being.

I could recommend a cure for this. But it would involve experience. Something academics abhor.

 

[theseeker4]

I hear what you're saying. But the narrowing of the argument to numbers weakens the idea to me. Because I myself feel that higher numbers is not what medicine needs. And in all dudeness, I could never comfortably inhabit such an uptight state of mind as what your conclusions lead to. One based on a competitive numbers world view.

What you're saying that I agree with is this: Guilty white liberal culture has enabled a whole industry of parasitic ideation to exist in the educational system. One that excuses all in the hope being vetted favorably by the likes of Al Sharpton et al. Fearing being labeled a racist by the mere act of being an honest sentient independent being.

I could recommend a cure for this. But it would involve experience. Something academics abhor.

LOL, wow, an uptight state of mind? I think you are reading more into what I was arguing than I intended to include. My opinion was simply that evidence present in the numbers of URM's vs non-URM's admitted for any particular GPA/MCAT combination indicate that URM's are NOT being overlooked or passed over in favor of non-URM's, but instead the opposite is occurring (about which I have not rendered any judgment as to its value, or lack thereof).

I am not of the opinion that numbers tell the whole story, or that numbers are all that the adcoms should consider. I am not even making a claim about to what extent numbers should determine whether an applicant is admitted to medical school. I simply made the statement that the numbers that are published prove that qualified, URM applicants are being passed over to a lesser, not greater, degree than qualified, non-URM's. (Qualified being defined by numbers, as there is no way to determine what EC's, quality of essays, etc. each applicant in these MCAT/GPA tables had) I am not making any other claim, either as to whether the current system should be changed, or how.

For the question being asked, whether URM's are being passed over to a greater degree than non-URM's, numbers are all we can turn to, unfortunately. That doesn't mean I favor the reduction of the admissions process to one of pure numbers, not by a long shot.

 

[Nasrudin]

LOL, wow, an uptight state of mind? I think you are reading more into what I was arguing than I intended to include. My opinion was simply that evidence present in the numbers of URM's vs non-URM's admitted for any particular GPA/MCAT combination indicate that URM's are NOT being overlooked or passed over in favor of non-URM's, but instead the opposite is occurring (about which I have not rendered any judgment as to its value, or lack thereof).

I am not of the opinion that numbers tell the whole story, or that numbers are all that the adcoms should consider. I am not even making a claim about to what extent numbers should determine whether an applicant is admitted to medical school. I simply made the statement that the numbers that are published prove that qualified, URM applicants are being passed over to a lesser, not greater, degree than qualified, non-URM's. (Qualified being defined by numbers, as there is no way to determine what EC's, quality of essays, etc. each applicant in these MCAT/GPA tables had) I am not making any other claim, either as to whether the current system should be changed, or how.

For the question being asked, whether URM's are being passed over to a greater degree than non-URM's, numbers are all we can turn to, unfortunately. That doesn't mean I favor the reduction of the admissions process to one of pure numbers, not by a long shot.

Oh. Ok. It's just that the usual discussion is a comparative numbers analysis that makes that wants to make a certain case for reverse discrimination. A series of logical steps moves in that direction from looking at lower stats for certain populations. Including our own--older applicants.

So then yes. i agree. There's no way URM candidates are getting passed up. Most schools have an office specifically catered to recruiting minority candidates. To suggest otherwise is ludicrous.

If you're a URM candidate and if you've got your **** together. You WILL get in. Unless you really step on your own face in every interview you go to.

That's a fact.

Now. As to why there are insanely low numbers of URM doctors despite this? And that brings us into the ugly and hotly contested arena of racial politics.

And to my point. If you're a honky and you have an opinion on this other than. I'm so sorry to have cause your misery personally how much money should I write the check for. You're into dangerous "racist" waters. Particularly if you inhabit these sheltered little havens of nonsense--universities.

 

[theseeker4]

Oh. Ok. It's just that the usual discussion is a comparative numbers analysis that makes that wants to make a certain case for reverse discrimination. A series of logical steps moves in that direction from looking at lower stats for certain populations. Including our own--older applicants.

So then yes. i agree. There's no way URM candidates are getting passed up. Most schools have an office specifically catered to recruiting minority candidates. To suggest otherwise is ludicrous.

If you're a URM candidate and if you've got your **** together. You WILL get in. Unless you really step on your own face in every interview you go to.

That's a fact.

Now. As to why there are insanely low numbers of URM doctors despite this? And that brings us into the ugly and hotly contested arena of racial politics.

And to my point. If you're a honky and you have an opinion on this other than. I'm so sorry to have cause your misery personally how much money should I write the check for. You're into dangerous "racist" waters. Particularly if you inhabit these sheltered little havens of nonsense--universities.

Now this entire post I completely agree with. Glad we could clear the confusion up

 

[Nasrudin]

Now this entire post I completely agree with. Glad we could clear the confusion up

Yeah man.

You know. But just to add a final tag. Lest i collect a few more haters than I have currently.

The Nasrudin Criteria would naturally select for a diverse student body. Most minorities scoring particularly high in "getting kicked in the balls by life." I do realize it's not fun to be acrobatically followed in a department store. Even if you make 10 times the person doing it. etc. etc.

But we wouldn't just do it mechanically. Laying out scholarship money for a brown person with high scores. We'd give need based scholarships regardless of race. And minority or not. You'd still have to be chill. Funny. And groovy to work with.

Some of what you see now are headhunters going after Africans (not black americans) with good numbers to fulfill the "see...we're not racist (schmarmy white 50's dude with the thumbs up logo)" criteria.

Fine. It doesn't really bother me. It is what it is. But don't get ****ty with me just because I have a serious mf'n b@ll**** detector. And that I use it.

 

[ShoTyme]

Most minorities scoring particularly high in "getting kicked in the balls by life." I do realize it's not fun to be acrobatically followed in a department store.

We'd give need based scholarships regardless of race. And minority or not. You'd still have to be chill. Funny. And groovy to work with.

Dude, if you were in charge, I'd get a full ride and to the Nas School of Medicine!

 

[Nasrudin]

Dude, if you were in charge, I'd get a full ride and to the Nas School of Medicine!

I know. It's really a tragedy. That I'm not the despot of an International Medical School of Pure Awesomeness.

The possibilities. No more visiting nerds rambling on about some obscure protein. Just an hour of talented stand up while we eat delicious food after our workouts. And then back to doing our own god@mn thing. Like natural freaks!