racially insensitive remark, grounds for complaint?

[orangeblossom]

---

Members do not see this ad.

I want to start off by saying that I'm a lowly volunteer, and I will most likely NOT inform the volunteer coordinator of what happened. Not because I'm okay with what happened, but only because I like volunteering at this hospital (good location, hours, don't want to waste time applying to be a volunteer at another hospital, etc), and I'm not sure I can stand the awkwardness that will ensue if I do report the matter. (And I already assume the modal response will be the typical jaded SDN one: whatever, who cares, don't be so uptight etc 😎 )

Anyway, what happened was that there was a patient coming out of anesthesia and the doctor came by to say that he could not speak English (the patient was Asian) but that the patient "promised to be good after surgery." Then the nurse threw up her hands and imitated the patient in a sing-songy/accented voice "I be good, I be good."

(I don't care about what the doctor said, I'm just trying to contextualize the nurse's remarks. And this conversation happened about ten feet in front of me.)

So my initial reaction was wtf? Is she serious? Now obviously it's a joke, but also a racially insensitive one, in my opinion (I am Asian; not that that should matter, but I suppose I pick up on such remarks more readily). It was a bit awkward for me, as I was the only Asian person in the post-op room at the time.

Like I said before, I will most likely forget about it since I would really like to keep my current volunteering position and not piss anyone off. But it got me thinking. What would I have done if I were an employee? What should I "let slide"?

Lately I have been thinking that Asians are far less likely to combat discrimination or racial insensitivity. I don't know why, perhaps it's a culture thing. And I don't know what the "I be good, I be good" equivalent is for African-Americans or Jewish people, but I know (given how politically organized those groups are) I'd be sh*tting my pants if I ever said like that. I don't demand an annoyingly PC environment. All I want is a work environment where people are more aware of their surroundings and the consequences (even if small) of their actions.

And I just wanted to get SDN's opinion. Maybe I just don't have a thick enough skin.

EDIT: I AM NOT SAYING THE NURSE WAS BEING RACIST.

 

[Hemorrage]

Welcome to the real world. Grow up man, the nurse was most likely just having some fun (sure it wasn't the nicest thing) but i don't think she was being racist. Additionally, are you actually Asian? or just asian by decent? Two different concepts

 

[olecranon4]

I was once told by someone on the ER admissions staff to leave the room or he would punch me in the face. I told him to try it and we'll see what happens.

I guess the corollary would be that you should have made fun of the nurse.

 

[Doctor Strange]

Asian here. I wouldn't even think twice about it. It sounds like there was no malice intended whatsoever in the comment.

To be completely honest, I use self-deprecating humor all the time with my friends. I'll walk into a room, wave, and say "herro!"

 

[orangeblossom]

Welcome to the real world. Grow up man, the nurse was most likely just having some fun (sure it wasn't the nicest thing) but i don't think she was being racist. Additionally, are you actually Asian? or just asian by decent? Two different concepts

Am I actually Asian? Yes. Why would you think I was kidding about that.
Btw, I never said her remark was "racist" (that's obviously a higher bar). It was racially insensitive. But yes, perhaps I should "grow up."

 

[orangeblossom]

Asian here. I wouldn't even think twice about it. It sounds like there was no malice intended whatsoever in the comment.

To be completely honest, I use self-deprecating humor all the time with my friends. I'll walk into a room, wave, and say "herro!"

I was hoping Asian posters would respond. Do you really not think twice about it? I'm not criticizing you, I'm genuinely curious. I mean it's as if a nurse said they should offer a black patient fried chicken.

 

[Geebeejay]

For all you know, the patient was saying "I be good, I be good" and waving his arms around during his stay. Relax, she wasn't being racist. Go watch an episode of south park or something, and don't take things so seriously.

 

[lobo.solo]

I want to start off by saying that I'm a lowly volunteer, and I will most likely NOT inform the volunteer coordinator of what happened. Not because I'm okay with what happened, but only because I like volunteering at this hospital (good location, hours, don't want to waste time applying to be a volunteer at another hospital, etc), and I'm not sure I can stand the awkwardness that will ensue if I do report the matter. (And I already assume the modal response will be the typical jaded SDN one: whatever, who cares, don't be so uptight etc 😎 )

Anyway, what happened was that there was a patient coming out of anesthesia and the doctor came by to say that he could not speak English (the patient was Asian) but that the patient "promised to be good after surgery." Then the nurse threw up her hands and imitated the patient in a sing-songy/accented voice "I be good, I be good."

(I don't care about what the doctor said, I'm just trying to contextualize the nurse's remarks. And this conversation happened about ten feet in front of me.)

So my initial reaction was wtf? Is she serious? Now obviously it's a joke, but also a racially insensitive one, in my opinion (I am Asian; not that that should matter, but I suppose I pick up on such remarks more readily). It was a bit awkward for me, as I was the only Asian person in the post-op room at the time.

Like I said before, I will most likely forget about it since I would really like to keep my current volunteering position and not piss anyone off. But it got me thinking. What would I have done if I were an employee? What should I "let slide"?

Lately I have been thinking that Asians are far less likely to combat discrimination or racial insensitivity. I don't know why, perhaps it's a culture thing. And I don't know what the "I be good, I be good" equivalent is for African-Americans or Jewish people, but I know (given how politically organized those groups are) I'd be sh*tting my pants if I ever said like that. I don't demand an annoyingly PC environment. All I want is a work environment where people are more aware of their surroundings and the consequences (even if small) of their actions.

And I just wanted to get SDN's opinion. Maybe I just don't have a thick enough skin.

EDIT: I AM NOT SAYING THE NURSE WAS BEING RACIST.

I am not Asian, but I have been working in the hospital for a while and in general, the majority of the staff: receptionist, nurses, CNA, respiratory therapist, MA, and even doctors tend to make jokes about the patients, this isn't something related to race/ethnicity is just about the opportunity to crack up a laugh. In general, this type of situation doesn't involve discrimination at all; people make fun of Whites, Blacks, Latinos, Chinese patients, etc.

I think your opinion is biased because you're Asian.

 

[McPhee]

I think you might be on to something. Consider if the patient was Hispanic or Black, and if the nurse had said something stereotypic, in a stereotypic way. How do you think that would have been received? Or what if the patient was gay and the nurse "imitated" him in a very stereotypic way?

Also, I think you're right about Asians being less likely to report events like this. Asian culture tends to emphasize deference to authority and discipline/ control of emotions. It's not hard to see how these cultural characteristics could lead to passivity/conformity. Plus there is a (reasonably accurate) perception of Asians as being successful, which I think allow others to "justify" racially insensitive language or not realize it's insensitive in the first place. However, that does not make what the nurse did okay.

 

[Doctor Strange]

I was hoping Asian posters would respond. Do you really not think twice about it? I'm not criticizing you, I'm genuinely curious. I mean it's as if a nurse said they should offer a black patient fried chicken.

I think your friend chicken example is a little more offensive than the instance described here. I don't know. I tend to take racially insensitive remarks very lightly. I am just generally not easily offended at all.

 

[La Presse]

That's the racially insensitive matter you are complaining about? Count your blessings. If it were me, I would have kindly confronted her, if it truly offended me or If I felt a need to.

 

[Freesia88]

For me, it really is a matter of choosing your battles. As someone here already said, it is likely the nurse had no malicious intent. It is irritating, but between the multiple TV shows which make light of issues of race and class, as well as the fact that us minorities use self deprecating humor, we really can't have it both ways.

 

[MaenadsDance]

For all y'all out there saying that, "Oh, I just laugh about this stuff when I hear it, it doesn't bother me," you might want to reconsider your priorities -- because after all some people ARE bothered by racist jokes (I'm not namby-pambying around with this "racially insensitive" language) and why on earth should your right to be a jack*ss be prioritized over another person's ability to be comfortable?

Yeah, sure, everybody needs a laugh now and then, but it's pretty darn telling that people default to racist or sexist humor when it's available to them. I learned in the second grade that it's not okay to make fun of people based on their race, because - if nothing else - it's inconsiderate and hurtful, just like making fun of someone with big ears or orange hair. I could go on a screed about how racist humor upholds racial hierarchies in the workplace and in society at large, but given how allergic most SDN premeds appear to be to angry leftists in particular and critiques of social injustice in general... I'll hold off.

(TL;DR -- I don't think the OP was overreacting or that the joke was harmless).

 

[Narmerguy]

OP, to be honest, why come to SDN of all places to talk about racial insensitivity? Or any anonymous internet forum? If you really want to talk about it, discuss it with an actual professional who understands work-appropriate humor and what day-to-day life is like in a clinical setting.

 

[Praefectus]

For all y'all out there saying that, "Oh, I just laugh about this stuff when I hear it, it doesn't bother me," you might want to reconsider your priorities -- because after all some people ARE bothered by racist jokes (I'm not namby-pambying around with this "racially insensitive" language) and why on earth should your right to be a jack*ss be prioritized over another person's ability to be comfortable?

Yeah, sure, everybody needs a laugh now and then, but it's pretty darn telling that people default to racist or sexist humor when it's available to them. I learned in the second grade that it's not okay to make fun of people based on their race, because - if nothing else - it's inconsiderate and hurtful, just like making fun of someone with big ears or orange hair. I could go on a screed about how racist humor upholds racial hierarchies in the workplace and in society at large, but given how allergic most SDN premeds appear to be to angry leftists in particular and critiques of social injustice in general... I'll hold off.

(TL;DR -- I don't think the OP was overreacting or that the joke was harmless).

Wait....you don't make fun of gingers?

 

[pfaction]

For all you know, the patient was saying "I be good, I be good" and waving his arms around during his stay. Relax, she wasn't being racist. Go watch an episode of south park or something, and don't take things so seriously.

CHITTY MONGORIANS 👍

 

[Praefectus]

CHITTY MONGORIANS 👍

Damn Mongrorians keep teahhing down mah chitty wahll! 👍

 

[orangeblossom]

I think your friend chicken example is a little more offensive than the instance described here. I don't know. I tend to take racially insensitive remarks very lightly. I am just generally not easily offended at all.

I understand that some people are not easily offended, but I am a bit disturbed that you think what the nurse said is not at least as insensitive as a fried chicken joke. Obviously there's no way to quantify this stuff, but what exactly would it take for something to be as offensive as a fried chicken joke? If the nurse pulled on her eyelids to imitate slanted eyes, and then said what she said, is that enough?

I'm not trying to pick a fight. I guess I just don't understand people who take these things lightly. And (to the poster who mentioned this) I know doctors, nurses, etc are tired from work and appreciate a funny joke. But what crazy world do you live in where it's okay to make racial jokes just because you think you and another doc deserve a laugh? (The joke itself is incredibly middle school; at least be witty if you're going to be edgy. But that's another matter.)

 

[Charles Darwin]

I understand that some people are not easily offended, but I am a bit disturbed that you think what the nurse said is not at least as insensitive as a fried chicken joke. Obviously there's no way to quantify this stuff, but what exactly would it take for something to be as offensive as a fried chicken joke? If the nurse pulled on her eyelids to imitate slanted eyes, and then said what she said, is that enough?

I'm not trying to pick a fight. I guess I just don't understand people who take these things lightly. And (to the poster who mentioned this) I know doctors, nurses, etc are tired from work and appreciate a funny joke. But what crazy world do you live in where it's okay to make racial jokes just because you think you and another doc deserve a laugh? (The joke itself is incredibly middle school; at least be witty if you're going to be edgy. But that's another matter.)

The 21st century.

 

[orangeblossom]

OP, to be honest, why come to SDN of all places to talk about racial insensitivity? Or any anonymous internet forum? If you really want to talk about it, discuss it with an actual professional who understands work-appropriate humor and what day-to-day life is like in a clinical setting.

Yeah I don't know. I will ask a friend of mine who is a nurse.

 

[deleted103644]

Everyone's a rittle bit lacist.

 

[orangeblossom]

Everyone's a rittle bit lacist.

Hell, I consider myself racist. I don't express such thoughts though (unless hanging out with friends, in a private setting, etc).

 

[whatbout2morrow]

For me, it really is a matter of choosing your battles. As someone here already said, it is likely the nurse had no malicious intent. It is irritating, but between the multiple TV shows which make light of issues of race and class, as well as the fact that us minorities use self deprecating humor, we really can't have it both ways.

Agree. Cracking jokes on your own race and then getting angry when people of other races crack similar jokes is sort of a double standard. If we want to see change, we have to be the first to stop.

OP, in this case, in my personal opinion, Insensitive - yes, Offensive - no. Decide where you stand, and as freesia88 said, choose your battles.

 

[orangeblossom]

Agree. Cracking jokes on your own race and then getting angry when people of other races crack similar jokes is sort of a double standard. If we want to see change, we have to be the first to stop.

OP, in this case, in my personal opinion, Insensitive - yes, Offensive - no. Decide where you stand, and as freesia88 said, choose your battles.

Lol. This is so wrong (the first part). I can say far worse things about Asians because I am Asian. Non-Asians, however, cannot. Also I never mentioned anything about cracking jokes on my own race; that's something another poster brought up out of the blue. Either way, no double standard exists.

I'm not entirely clear what definition of offensive you're using (as it's largely in the eye of the beholder), but yes, freesia88 is right. This isn't a battle I care about enough. That's partly why I asked (in my OP) what exactly counts as enough. Or is SDN too cool to ever care about these things?

 

[McPhee]

Then the nurse threw up her hands and imitated the patient in a sing-songy/accented voice "I be good, I be good."

I was hoping Asian posters would respond. Do you really not think twice about it? I'm not criticizing you, I'm genuinely curious. I mean it's as if a nurse said they should offer a black patient fried chicken.

A more apt example involving stereotypic language would be the nurse saying something along the lines of, "Ohh lawdy no, I don won cause no truble feh yu, mistuh." Introducing a stereotypic food confuses the issue.

I firmly believe you should report this incident to HR and then let them deal with it as they see fit. They probably won't act, given that this event seems minor (though not innocuous), but at least the ball is in their court.

 

[orangeblossom]

A more apt example involving stereotypic language would be the nurse saying something along the lines of, "Ohh lawdy no, I don won cause no truble feh yu, mistuh." Introducing a stereotypic food confuses the issue.

I firmly believe you should report this incident to HR and then let them deal with it as they see fit. They probably won't act, given that this event seems minor (though not innocuous), but at least the ball is in their court.

Yea that is a better example. I agree HR is highly unlikely to do anything about it, and I agree this is a minor issue (a bunch of people in this thread seem to think I'm about to call the ACLU). I don't know. I likely won't do anything, but thanks for your support and advice.

 

[whatbout2morrow]

Lol. This is so wrong (the first part). I can say far worse things about Asians because I am Asian. Non-Asians, however, cannot. Also I never mentioned anything about cracking jokes on my own race; that's something another poster brought up out of the blue. Either way, no double standard exists.

I'm not entirely clear what definition of offensive you're using (as it's largely in the eye of the beholder), but yes, freesia88 is right. This isn't a battle I care about enough. That's partly why I asked (in my OP) what exactly counts as enough. Or is SDN too cool to ever care about these things?

Suppose you were in a room full of Asians/Asian-Americans, and you say something in a mock Asian accent, and there happens to be one Asian guy with a thick accent who gets offended. If you think it's ok to be insensitive to his feelings because he's your same race, then sorry, you're part of the problem, not the solution.

 

[Fivo]

Everyone's a rittle bit lacist.

What you did there, I see it!

 

[orangeblossom]

Suppose you were in a room full of Asians/Asian-Americans, and you say something in a mock Asian accent, and there happens to be one Asian guy with a thick accent who gets offended. If you think it's ok to be insensitive to his feelings because he's your same race, then sorry, you're part of the problem, not the solution.

I never make jokes like that. I meant something like commenting on the tiger mom stereotype and telling a story of some psycho tiger mom, emphasizing certain details. Or a story about how cheap my parents can be. I don't want to assume your white, but if you are a minority, you must know what I'm talking about. Minorities joke about themselves, and the associated stereotypes, but it's mostly to build a sense of rapport or something. It certainly isn't just shooting the ****, off hand type remarks.

 

[Freesia88]

I never make jokes like that. I meant something like commenting on the tiger mom stereotype and telling a story of some psycho tiger mom, emphasizing certain details. Or a story about how cheap my parents can be. I don't want to assume your white, but if you are a minority, you must know what I'm talking about. Minorities joke about themselves, and the associated stereotypes, but it's mostly to build a sense of rapport or something. It certainly isn't just shooting the ****, off hand type remarks.

The thing is others see the same characteristics about us and it strikes them as odd or funny as well. Then they get to watch us laugh at ourselves and make jokes at our own expense, so when a social context comes up when such jokes would apply, they go ahead and make them thinking since we laugh about it ourselves, it would be ok. Then they get the cold stares and the harsh comments 😕

I think it is easy to tell when a joke is just that...a joke, and when it has barbs in it. How you choose to react is up to you but making mountains out of molehills undermines the times when a serious discussion needs to be had about racism. Just my opinion.

 

[Fivo]

I never make jokes like that. I meant something like commenting on the tiger mom stereotype and telling a story of some psycho tiger mom, emphasizing certain details. Or a story about how cheap my parents can be. I don't want to assume your white, but if you are a minority, you must know what I'm talking about. Minorities joke about themselves, and the associated stereotypes, but it's mostly to build a sense of rapport or something. It certainly isn't just shooting the ****, off hand type remarks.

On the contrary. Google what Chris Rock about black people to see what I'm talking about. Even within a race there can be a social divide.

 

[orangeblossom]

The thing is others see the same characteristics about us and it strikes them as odd or funny as well. Then they get to watch us laugh at ourselves and make jokes at our own expense, so when a social context comes up when such jokes would apply, they go ahead and make them thinking since we laugh about it ourselves, it would be ok. Then they get the cold startes and the harsh comments 😕

Okay. But the issue is more complicated than that. These are grown adults, not "monkey see monkey do" babies.

Re: making mountains out of molehills: I've never understood this line of thinking. Things snowball into bigger things. In my opinion.

 

[Freesia88]

Okay. But the issue is more complicated than that. These are grown adults, not "monkey see monkey do" babies.

For the life of me I can't understand why I always get drawn into one-on-ones....😀

OP, use your discretion and good judgement. If you feel it is worth it to talk to someone about it, then do it and put your mind at ease.

Be mindful, however, that Actions = Consequences and Consequences =/= (Always) Pleasant

I have found that giving people the benefit of doubt in these situations works best all around. And also watch out for the reactions of others. If others look uncomfortable, then there might be pre-existing conditions. The issue is to appease your sense of social justice without coming across as a whiny jerk.

 

[La Presse]

On the contrary. Google what Chris Rock about black people to see what I'm talking about. Even within a race there can be a social divide.

Chris Rock is a comedian.

 

[whatbout2morrow]

I never make jokes like that. I meant something like commenting on the tiger mom stereotype and telling a story of some psycho tiger mom, emphasizing certain details. Or a story about how cheap my parents can be. I don't want to assume your white, but if you are a minority, you must know what I'm talking about. Minorities joke about themselves, and the associated stereotypes, but it's mostly to build a sense of rapport or something. It certainly isn't just shooting the ****, off hand type remarks.

I am a minority, and I take special care to not make such jokes. Because if I'm out with friends of other races and I start cracking non-offensive jokes about people of my race, then, in my personal opinion, it's fair game if my friends of other races use the same/similar jokes (not that any of my friends would actually do so). If I'm going to get offended, what sense does it make to share the joke in the first place?

 

[deleted103644]

What you did there, I see it!

I actually don't think you did.

 

[Fivo]

Chris Rock is a comedian.

And? It holds true for many races: blacks, whites, hispanics, and asians. If you don't understand that or don't know what I'm referring to, then I can't go any further.

 

[orangeblossom]

For the life of me I can't understand why I always get drawn into one-on-ones....😀

OP, use your discretion and good judgement. If you feel it is worth it to talk to someone about it, then do it and put your mind at ease.

Be mindful, however, that Actions = Consequences and Consequences =/= (Always) Pleasant

I have found that giving people the benefit of doubt in these situations works best all around. And also watch out for the reactions of others. If others look uncomfortable, then there might be pre-existing conditions. The issue is to appease your sense of social justice without coming across as a whiny jerk.

Sorry, didn't mean to come across as hostile 😳 After the nurse's comment, there was about 5 seconds of silence (and that's a long time in busy ol' post-op), which I think intensified it for me. I think it's unfortunate that I have to worry about coming across as a "whiny jerk"; but if I have in this thread, I apologize.

 

[Freesia88]

Sorry, didn't mean to come across as hostile 😳 After the nurse's comment, there was about 5 seconds of silence (and that's a long time in busy ol' post-op), which I think intensified it for me. I think it's unfortunate that I have to worry about coming across as a "whiny jerk"; but if I have in this thread, I apologize.

Hahahahaha! Oh no no! OP, please I wasn't trying to chide you or anything. I was laughing at myself and my propensity to get into heated exchanges, especially on this forum.

If there was about 5 seconds of silence after this, likely the nurse herself knows she kinda crossed a line, and it is possible someone said something to her about it.

And the "whiny jerk" was not directed at you at all. My apologies if you feel it was. I have little patience for people who feel they can eat their cake and have it too hence my hard choice of words. Once again, i apologize.

To put things in context though, my reaction would likely have been different if another poster had come up and said something like "Freesia88, you really need to get over yourself and stop arguing so much with people." I would likely have been inclined to engage that person in a one-on-one of epic proportions. So what is it that makes it ok for me to laugh at myself but not ok for others to laugh at me for the same things that i would laugh at myself for?

 

[whatbout2morrow]

The thing is others see the same characteristics about us and it strikes them as odd or funny as well. Then they get to watch us laugh at ourselves and make jokes at our own expense, so when a social context comes up when such jokes would apply, they go ahead and make them thinking since we laugh about it ourselves, it would be ok. Then they get the cold stares and the harsh comments 😕

I think it is easy to tell when a joke is just that...a joke, and when it has barbs in it. How you choose to react is up to you but making mountains out of molehills undermines the times when a serious discussion needs to be had about racism. Just my opinion.

👍

This "it's ok for this guy, but not that guy to tell this joke" stuff is the root of the problem.

 

[lobo.solo]

I understand that some people are not easily offended, but I am a bit disturbed that you think what the nurse said is not at least as insensitive as a fried chicken joke. Obviously there's no way to quantify this stuff, but what exactly would it take for something to be as offensive as a fried chicken joke? If the nurse pulled on her eyelids to imitate slanted eyes, and then said what she said, is that enough?

I'm not trying to pick a fight. I guess I just don't understand people who take these things lightly. And (to the poster who mentioned this) I know doctors, nurses, etc are tired from work and appreciate a funny joke. But what crazy world do you live in where it's okay to make racial jokes just because you think you and another doc deserve a laugh? (The joke itself is incredibly middle school; at least be witty if you're going to be edgy. But that's another matter.)

I think you are projecting other issues unto this simple and innocent situation. This situation doesn't have anything to do with social hierarchies and/or being discriminatory to Asians.

 

[La Presse]

And? It holds true for many races: blacks, whites, hispanics, and asians. If you don't understand that or don't know what I'm referring to, then I can't go any further.

I am simply referencing your remark to orangeblossom's comment. Typically people of the same race use jokes concerning their own to establish rapport, just as said above. However, when another group of people do, it is regarded as derogatory. It is somewhat similar to the whole "N-word" issue. It is usually known that in no context, should anyone use that word in the wrong company, if you know what I mean. Likewise, like you mentioned, other races do it as well.

 

[Contemplating]

OP, I'm Asian. I came to America fairly early on but I was old enough to remember my experiences and my parents' experiences learning English on the go, so to speak. It suffices to say that I understand where you're coming from. Yes, the remark comes off to me as insensitive and ignorant (white-blind). But you do have to put yourself in her shoes and realize that this society indoctrinates a racially divided way of thinking -- and makes it okay. I'm not saying that it's okay, but what I am saying is that she did what she did, but she probably wasn't trying to be malicious (as a lot of people on here have already pointed out). There's a world of difference between your everyday incidence of unintentional racism and actually malicious racism. Unless she was being intentional, I wouldn't report it. I'm confident that you, as a volunteer and a future caretaker, will do everything in your power to be as compassionate, understanding, and sensitive as you can be to all of your patients. But that doesn't mean that you will know everything there is to know about them, and you'll inevitably offend someone here or there. Chances are that they won't report or complain about you because they know that you had their best interests at heart, but everyone's human and everyone makes mistakes.

Believe me, I'm not trying to rationalize racism. I'm just trying to put things in perspective -- we're both Asians right? We've got each other's back (I hope) 🙂.

 

[Fivo]

I am simply referencing your remark to orangeblossom's comment. Typically people of the same race use jokes concerning their own to establish rapport, just as said above. However, when another group of people do, it is regarded as derogatory. It is somewhat similar to the whole "N-word" issue. It is usually known that in no context, should anyone use that word in the wrong company, if you know what I mean. Likewise, like you mentioned, other races do it as well.

I know what you mean, sorry if what I said came out wrong. I was referencing that not only do people of the same race joke with each other using derogatory terms, but they also put down others of their same race that they feel are lower on the totem pole.

 

[MaenadsDance]

I think you are projecting other issues unto this simple and innocent situation. This situation doesn't have anything to do with social hierarchies and/or being discriminatory to Asians.

Really? I don't think you can take racist jokes out of context as easily as that.

 

[Ashley1989]

I think that when you work full time in any job some people are bound to crack snarky jokes at the patrons/customers/patients/etc. Sure, it wasn't kind but from what you wrote it doesn't seem as if it was raciest because that would mean she was pinpointing the man for being Asian vs joking with her coworkers. She probably would've cracked a joke at a difficult patient regardless of their race. If I was an employee and had a problem with it I would've just not laughed and said "keep it professional." and let it go. She would probably get the message and wouldn't do it again.

 

[punkedoutriffs]

I am Asian, and in my experience, as much as I'd like to say otherwise, the kind of incident the OP recounted still bothers me. Reason being: it reminds me of all of the opportunities, social ones mostly, that I felt were stolen from me because people pigeon-holed me as "just some Asian dude." It's dehumanizing and belittling. It makes you feel like less of a person. There's no excuse for that in a supposedly professional environment.

 

[MaenadsDance]

I think that when you work full time in any job some people are bound to crack snarky jokes at the patrons/customers/patients/etc. Sure, it wasn't kind but from what you wrote it doesn't seem as if it was raciest because that would mean she was pinpointing the man for being Asian vs joking with her coworkers. She probably would've cracked a joke at a difficult patient regardless of their race. If I was an employee and had a problem with it I would've just not laughed and said "keep it professional." and let it go. She would probably get the message and wouldn't do it again.

What exactly passes your threshold for a "raciest" joke? Does one have to be insulting a person to their face? Clearly this bit of humor had a pernicious effect because it has caused the OP all this grief. The effect of racist humor in the workplace and in society at large is to solidify the existing racial hierarchies. People with white privilege (cue the moans and groans from legions of white SDNers about how they don't FEEL privileged) are often unaware of the fact that when they tell racist jokes with their friends, they're causing distress to people, people who end up torturing themselves wondering whether they should speak up, should report the racist-joke teller, etc etc.

I'm white myself, but as a queer woman I deal with this issue in other aspects of my life (eg, the rape joke).

punkedoutriffs
I am Asian, and in my experience, as much as I'd like to say otherwise, the kind of incident the OP recounted still bothers me. Reason being: it reminds me of all of the opportunities, social ones mostly, that I felt were stolen from me because people pigeon-holed me as "just some Asian dude." It's dehumanizing and belittling. It makes you feel like less of a person. There's no excuse for that in a supposedly professional environment.

Exactly. People with privilege sometimes have this mindset that racist, sexist jokes etc don't really matter as long as you don't "mean anything by it" - but you don't have to mean to hurt someone to hurt someone. The onus is on you not to tell hurtful jokes, not on people not to be offended by stuff that's offensive.

 

[Freesia88]

I am Asian, and in my experience, as much as I'd like to say otherwise, the kind of incident the OP recounted still bothers me. Reason being: it reminds me of all of the opportunities, social ones mostly, that I felt were stolen from me because people pigeon-holed me as "just some Asian dude." It's dehumanizing and belittling. It makes you feel like less of a person. There's no excuse for that in a supposedly professional environment.

I feel your pain. I am a black woman...enough said.

There are some battles, however, that are really just not worth fighting.

 

[lobo.solo]

Really? I don't think you can take racist jokes out of context as easily as that.

Yes, tell me where in this situation is there a bit of discrimination towards the patient? Tell me where does it reinforce the social hierarchy in which we live?