rad-onc jokes

[achybrachy]

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We need to liven up this forum a little. Anyone know any good rad-onc jokes?

I don't, but I know a stupid physics joke. So this neutron walks into a bar and he asks the bartender how much for a beer. The bartender looks at him and says, "For you, no charge!"

 

[Wm Tell]

Two atoms are sitting in a field of ionizing radiation.
One atom says, "I think I lost an electron."
The other says, "Are you sure?"
The first atom says, "I'm positive!"

 

[stephew]

slightly off topic but...a joke about my med school, sgu:

Why did the Reagan really invade grenada?
The med students were threatening to graduate.

 

[achybrachy]

Hmmm... guess not then. Oh well, worth a shot.

 

[Gfunk6]

From the General Residency Forum:
http://bp2.blogger.com/_e85U4QbYG7s...0-h/12+medical+specialty+stereotypes+full.jpg

 

[Wallachia]

saw this funny one on another forum:
cystoscope: a device with a prick at both ends

 

[napoleondynamite]

From the General Residency Forum:
http://bp2.blogger.com/_e85U4QbYG7s...0-h/12+medical+specialty+stereotypes+full.jpg

I love the psych one

 

[JTradonc]

This one was printed on a T-shirt I saw a few years ago....


Hard Beam
+
Tight Collimation

=

Adequate Penetration

(Gosh, that is some seriously geeky humor)

 

[JTradonc]

One that the nurses like to tell...






"What's about 12 inches long and dangles in front of an A**hole?
.
.
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.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
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.
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.
.

A Stethoscope."

 

[Femme Fatale]

*

 

[Gfunk6]

Hard Beam
+
Tight Collimation

=

Adequate Penetration

That is seriously comedy gold.

 

[napoleondynamite]

Hey JT, PM me when you get a chance, for some reason my emails to you keep bouncing back.

 

[JTradonc]

Come on people.... Surely there are more jokes!

Post em if you got em.

 

[Wallachia]

Not Rad Onc related; read on another forum and thought was hilarious:

Professor was giving a lecture on "Involuntary Muscular Contractions" to his first year medical students.

Realizing that this was not the most riveting subject, the Professor decided to lighten the mood slightly. He pointed to a young woman in the front row and said, "Do you know what your a** hole is doing while you're having an orgasm?"

She replied, "Probably deer hunting with his buddies."

The professor laughed so hard he could not continue with the class.

 

[ATM Machine]

How does a neuro-oncologist refer to carmustine given to a GBM patient?

"BCNU" (e.g. be seein' you...)

 

[achybrachy]

Ok, so since there seem to be very few actual rad-onc jokes, I guess I can tell my one general doctor joke. We can make the patient a cancer patient if you want.



So this doctor is seeing a 95 year-old lady in the office when she, rather embarrassed, brings up a problem she has been having.

"Doc, I just have so much gas, it's simply unbelieveable. I'm just farting ALL THE TIME. Fortunately they are always silent and they don't stink, but I'm worried just by the sheer frequency of it. Why, since we've been here talking I must have farted over a dozen times."

The doctor scratches his chin for a minute and says, "I think I can help." He writes her a prescription and instructs her to come back in a week to see if she notices any difference.

She comes back the following week and says, in exasperation, "Doc, that prescription you gave me just made things much worse! I'm still farting just as much as before, but now they smell TERRIBLE!"

The doctor smiles and says to her, "Okay, now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's see what we can do about your hearing."

 

[stephew]

my husband tells that one.


honey, is that you?

 

[achybrachy]

my husband tells that one.


honey, is that you?

Um, my wife is standing right next to me and she says she's not stephew, so I guess not.😛

 

[ATM Machine]

Question: Why did the GBM cross the corpus callosum??

Answer: To get to the other side...

 

[stephew]

oh geeze.

 

[radoncwannabe]

What do radiation oncologists like to do for fun?
-X-ray-ted activites (*wink wink*).

 

[stephew]

this thread really should be closed.

 

[PimpMyRad]

Guy goes to his doc for a complete workup, and afterword the doc says, "sir I have some bad news and some horrible news. Which would you like first?" He says the bad news first, so the doc tells him he has a very advanced case of lung cancer, and has, at the most, six weeks to live. Exasperated, the man asks what could be worse than that. The doc proceeds to tell him he also has a very advanced case of Alzheimer's, possibly the worst he's ever diagnosed. Relieved, the man says, "Geez doc, you got me all worked up; I thought you were going to tell me I had cancer!"

 

[Palex80]

NC - No Change or No Chance

 

[189362]

Worst joke ever.


What kind of bees make milk?


Boooo-Bees

 

[yeasterbunny]

bump

OK, a bit predictable, but amusing nonetheless:

A patient visited his urologist for prostate cancer and expressed concern about being able to perform in bed after the operation. The doctor said "I too had a prostatectomy a few years ago. Ten days after the operation I made passionate love with my wife, and forgot all my worries. Try it and see for yourself." Three weeks later the patient returns, and thanks the doctor effusively. The doctor says "I'm glad my advice helped." The patient thanks him again, and as he's leaving says "By the way Doctor, you have a really beautiful house."