This has been an absolutely fascinating discussion. I mean, my opinion is that it is ridiculous -- the level of vitriol towards occasional and even rare post 5pm work events is just wild to me. This idea that if your kids aren't actively managed by you at all times something awful will happen. But I am a dinosaur from an era where as an 8 year old in the summer we would venture off on bikes, explore the woods, not come back until dark, whatever. The bus would drop us off after school and we would walk alone the 20 minutes it took to get from the bus stop to our houses because our mom was at work and usually couldn't pick us up. Clearly I am out of touch when it comes to raising children in the modern world.
I've said this as a joke in the past, that if your staff can;t leave by 4 pm, it's catastrophic because they have kids that will literally die. Yeah, that's a joke, but really how much of one? Because that's kind of the attitude most seem to have.
What's really fascinating is how this is being framed as a equity/women's rights issue. I never even considered the mere existence of occasional after hours get-togethers as an affront to equality among the sexes in the workplace. Historically there was always the complaint of women being excluded from the "old boys club events" Of course everyone is invited to these things, but now it's a 180, nobody wants to be invited and they need to be shut down. I'm still unclear as to what the proposed solution is: a policy prohibiting them or just a general awareness that inviting colleagues out for a beer, is what, a microaggression?
Regardless, you all are not telling me anything I haven't already learned for myself. Most people hate these things and will be unhappy if they are pressured to go. I certainly don't have any plans to offer them again. And yes, the thing everyone LOVES more than anything are the free lunches and ability to waste time on the clock. If we stopped the rep lunches and started paying for weekly happy hours instead I think some staff literally might quit because of it.
Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but the level of animosity many have towards this is wild to me. There is no quicker way to piss someone off than to comment on parenting. My thought is that raising children is tough, and if this is something you have intentionally planned alongside a fulltime career in the medical profession, there are going to be some challenging tradeoffs you signed up for and within reason need to accept. Scolding colleagues for having social events after hours because it's a threat to your career/family balance is not something I can get on baord with. I'm just not going to see eye-to-eye on that and I guess that's the thing about our field is that you can ideally find the right group culture you fit in with. Obviously a cold corporate like academic or mega hospital probably isn't going to be the place for me, and that's fine. Medgator and I witll enjoy some sushi and beer on our own until we are forced out of business in, oh what, 5 years at this point? So yeah, I don't think you all have much to worry about as I suspect things like this will become extinct soon and looked back on like an anacronism from Mad Men.