RAing as a grownup

[sockit]

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I guess, my question is more: how do you situate yourself, interpersonally, in a lab environment, as an adult junior?

I've been enthusiastic about all tasks given to me, have stayed late, have tried to be as conscientious as possible. I occasionally draw from my (too extensive) office experience, but only when I think it might be useful.

In no way do I want to behave inappropriately or unsettle norms. I just want to be likeable enough to get a reference, reliable, and not a pain in the ass.

But, compared to other RAs or grad students, who are pleasant, but invariably guarded (maybe nervous), I feel almost obscenely extroverted. I guess I have more of an informal, friendly manner, and a tendency to speak my mind. (I used to teach; have been professionally involved in the performing arts, where reserve is not rewarded; am physically expressive, often smile, can't resist cracking a joke on occasion, that kind of thing.)

I try to hold it in check -- certainly during meetings, I keep my mouth shut, & hold my hands still. But I can't help feeling much easier around older, more relaxed people in the lab, who are also the most senior. I think this might not be so cool for everyone else.

So, for harmony in the lab, & self-protection purposes -- is firm self-management the best tack, or can I find my place in the pecking order while being (a quieter) version of myself? I'll do whatever I have to, obviously, but the vibe reminds me very much of my first awful office job.

 

[QofQuimica]

Not that you should be obnoxious, but what the other RAs and the grad students think/do doesn't matter. They aren't the ones who are going to write your LOR, and you're not there to be their best friend. As long as your supervisor is happy with your work and you are not having conflicts with anyone in the lab, I don't think you need to worry about being more extroverted than the others.

 

[wholeheartedly]

Agree with Q. Be yourself work hard and if your PI seems happy and there aren't conflicts with labmates you should be good.

Labs have their own personalities and range the gamut. I've been in labs where everyone is friendly and sociable and outgoing and labs where people just keep their heads down, shut up and do their work.

 

[sockit]

Thanks, both! Whew. I was concerned that this accidental alignment of personalities (since really, I get along best with the PI) might bother some of the younger kids. I think I'll still try to tone down the obnoxiousness (I suppose I might come across a little that way, sometimes, depending on the taste of the judge), but won't worry overmuch about it.

I've found the context a little harder to read than non-academic work environments. Previously, have known dynamics to be either casual (and at least partly defined by me, as a freelancer) or clearly hierarchical. And in the latter case, age and seniority have tended to coincide. Uni is somewhere in between; the codes feel more hidden.. between that and the personality differences, I've been a bit confused.

Thanks again!

 

[QofQuimica]

Thanks, both! Whew. I was concerned that this accidental alignment of personalities (since really, I get along best with the PI) might bother some of the younger kids.

If it does, that's their problem, not yours. Focus on doing your work and getting that LOR. If you're having conflicts with other lab members, that's a different story, but it's fine if you don't socialize with them. Again, you're not there to be best friends with your lab coworkers.

 

[TriagePreMed]

I don't know how your lab is, but my lab doesn't care about petty things like degrees, titles or ages. If you get along with some people better, be it so. Funny enough the other RA and me at my lab are older than all the graduate students.

 

[sockit]

If it does, that's their problem, not yours. Focus on doing your work and getting that LOR. If you're having conflicts with other lab members, that's a different story, but it's fine if you don't socialize with them. Again, you're not there to be best friends with your lab coworkers.

Thank you for restating this important point. For a variety of reasons (including the fact that one of my previous incarnations was as a female office worker), I doubtless need to review it over (and over) again.

 

[sockit]

I don't know how your lab is, but my lab doesn't care about petty things like degrees, titles or ages. If you get along with some people better, be it so. Funny enough the other RA and me at my lab are older than all the graduate students.

That's pretty wonderful 🙂