Really Bad Personal Statement (Advice from LizzyM would be really appreciated)

[rusyrusyrusy]

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Hi,

So I was going through my personal statement again after submitting my primary (bad idea I know) and, while it discusses my love for science and technology as well as how I found the rewards of patient care while helping patients in a psychiatric ward, I feel like it isn't very good. It reads too much like like a shoppy laundry list of how I helped patients and how I did stuff to make me fall in love with science (without really exploring the individual things I did very much). I also feel like in my ending I don't explicitly state why I want to pursue medicine (although the reasons are implied, they're never outright stated if that makes sense). The personal statement also mentions my desire to acquire technical skills as a doctor to treat underserved patients. I think the biggest problem in my personal statement is that I tried to put too much in (i'm from another country, and I had experiences there that led me into medicine) without exploring any other them too much. That said, these are personal things that aren't mentioned anywhere else in my applicaiton. I think part of the reason is that i might have been trying to write what i thought adcoms would want to see (hangs head in shame). That said there are one or two anecdotes that are pretty powerfully written (i've been told).

My secondary essays, however, are turning out to be a lot more personal and sincere than my personal. They're reflect me a lot better than my personal statement does. They're also written in a nicer prose. I was just wondering if a terrible personal statement (that doesn't truly answer the why medicine quesiton) is grounds for denial of an interview if everything else in the application looks pretty solid.

I'm also confident that in an interview I could articulate why i want to be a doctor a lot better than in my personal statement


Sorry for the long post. I'm kind of freaking out right now.

 

[RogueUnicorn]

so... how is one supposed to advise you...

the bat signal isn't a toy mang, it's gotta be used judiciously..

 

[iwastetimehere]

It's already submitted so there's not much you can do about it

 

[rusyrusyrusy]

so... how is one supposed to advise you...

the bat signal isn't a toy mang, it's gotta be used judiciously..

Fair point :-/

I guess input would be a better word to use.

 

[cfx]

It's already submitted so there's not much you can do about it

👍

There's no backtracking, so there's no point in driving yourself nuts. I would just do my best on the secondaries and hope it all works out.

 

[orthomyxo]

Forget about it. What's done is done, so just focus on getting secondaries in.

 

[Vanguard23]

Yeah, sorry Cortez, you already burned your ships so there's no going back.

Look onwards.

 

[LizzyM]

Agree with all of the above.

 

[rusyrusyrusy]

any future applicants who freak out about their personal statement like I did.

so far, i've had >12 interview offers and four acceptances (two of them top twenty schools).

I think when we're in the process, we start to over-analyze all the parts of the application that are under our control. The personal statement, however, is obviously a small part of your application and medical schools do evaluate you holistically.

I really effed up my personal statement big time. I still go interviews. Lesson to be learned: while the personal statement is important, a lot of schools will not place too much emphasis on it.

Also, thank you everyone for the replies. I apologize for using the bat signal selfishly 🙂

 

[Charles_Carmichael]

any future applicants who freak out about their personal statement like I did.

so far, i've had >12 interview offers and four acceptances (two of them top twenty schools).

I think when we're in the process, we start to over-analyze all the parts of the application that are under our control. The personal statement, however, is obviously a small part of your application and medical schools do evaluate you holistically.

I really effed up my personal statement big time. I still go interviews. Lesson to be learned: while the personal statement is important, a lot of schools will not place too much emphasis on it.

Also, thank you everyone for the replies. I apologize for using the bat signal selfishly 🙂

👍

Congrats on your successful cycle!

 

[tomh98]

so... how is one supposed to advise you...

the bat signal isn't a toy mang, it's gotta be used judiciously..

I disagree ... I think we can help here. Let's get the gang together and do some mission impossible essay swapping. We only want the best for each other.

I'm playing of course 🙂

Don't stress about it! It sounds like you know what you are doing. Keep your head up!

 

[Dianyla]

I disagree ... I think we can help here. Let's get the gang together and do some mission impossible essay swapping. We only want the best for each other.

I'm playing of course 🙂

Don't stress about it! It sounds like you know what you are doing. Keep your head up!

Somebody didn't read the whole thread. 😛

 

[Bravetown]

Withdraw all your applications and re-submit under the name Julio Sanchez, cause honestly that's probably more productive than this thread.

 

[rusyrusyrusy]

Withdraw all your applications and re-submit under the name Julio Sanchez, cause honestly that's probably more productive than this thread.

I'm not bragging. I just remember being very scared at the beginning of the cycle because I was effing up what seemed like a really important part of my application, and I'd like to leave this anecdote behind for future applicants who might be in a similar position.

I remember searching around on sdn for someone who'd messed up their personal statement this badly and gotten into med school, and couldn't find anything. If i had, it definitely would have made me feel better then.

 

[tomh98]

I'm not bragging. I just remember being very scared at the beginning of the cycle because I was effing up what seemed like a really important part of my application, and I'd like to leave this anecdote behind for future applicants who might be in a similar position.

I remember searching around on sdn for someone who'd messed up their personal statement this badly and gotten into med school, and couldn't find anything. If i had, it definitely would have made me feel better then.

Well you don't seem to think it's a BAD personal statement, you seem to be saying it doesn't shine. I think we all agree that a good personal statement is an essential part of a solid application. A shining statement would have given you the edge in getting an interview but should not prevent you from getting one if you are a well-qualified. I wish you the best of luck.

I post the following link a lot, but it's very helpful. The University of Washington has held sessions on good ECs, writing good statements (and secondaries), and preparing for interviews. It's worth watching for when you get invited to interview, and for the next cycle's applicants to be better prepared all around.

http://uwmedicine.washington.edu/Education/MD-Program/Admissions/Applicants/Pages/AdvicefromAdmissionsDean.aspx

 

[Dianyla]

Well you don't seem to think it's a BAD personal statement, you seem to be saying it doesn't shine. I think we all agree that a good personal statement is an essential part of a solid application. A shining statement would have given you the edge in getting an interview but should not prevent you from getting one if you are a well-qualified. I wish you the best of luck.

OP's doing quite nicely with 4 acceptances, BTW. 🙂

/cluebat

 

[rusyrusyrusy]

Well you don't seem to think it's a BAD personal statement, you seem to be saying it doesn't shine. I think we all agree that a good personal statement is an essential part of a solid application. A shining statement would have given you the edge in getting an interview but should not prevent you from getting one if you are a well-qualified. I wish you the best of luck.

I post the following link a lot, but it's very helpful. The University of Washington has held sessions on good ECs, writing good statements (and secondaries), and preparing for interviews. It's worth watching for when you get invited to interview, and for the next cycle's applicants to be better prepared all around.

http://uwmedicine.washington.edu/Ed...pplicants/Pages/AdvicefromAdmissionsDean.aspx

My why medicine question didn't give an answer about why I wanted to do medicine. It also had a ton of grammatical and spelling errors. There was no theme and no conclusion.

The only point of a why medicine essay is i) to show adcoms that you're insightful and have thought your decision to pursue medicine through and ii) to show that you can write competently. My essay did neither of those things. Hence why it was a bad essay.