Reasons for you to pay for med school yourself

[funshine]

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It seems like a lot of ppl on here are taking out loans to pay their own way thru med school, regardless of whether their parents can afford the tuition or not. I was just wondering what the rationale was behind that.

Is supporting youself = independence? becoming a grown up?

Sorry if this sounds like a ******ed question.

My parents are pretyt insistent about paying for me, and my first impulse is to just let them (and thank them/return the money later), but after reading some of the posts on here, I'm starting to have second thoughts.

 

[VFrank]

My parents offered to pay for my medical education too and I told them no for the same reason you stated: I'm going to be 22 when I start medical school -- I think it's about time I did something completely on my own. My parents paid for four years of a private undergrad and I'm very grateful to them for that, but I think it's time I moved on. Besides, I have a younger sister still in college and younger brother still in high school (he's going to college too). It's about time I act like the adult I am and let my parents take care of my younger siblings without having to worry about me.

 

[Haybrant]

It seems like a lot of ppl on here are taking out loans to pay their own way thru med school, regardless of whether their parents can afford the tuition or not. I was just wondering what the rationale was behind that.

Is supporting youself = independence? becoming a grown up?

Sorry if this sounds like a ******ed question.

My parents are pretyt insistent about paying for me, and my first impulse is to just let them (and thank them/return the money later), but after reading some of the posts on here, I'm starting to have second thoughts.

Yes, budgeting your $ is an important skill. If you are the kind of person that goes out at night and doesnt think twice before dropping $60+ on drinks and its your parents money, you could use a good lesson in money management. If your parents are millionaires that's one thing but if they arent it isnt quite fair to have them dish out so much money for med school. Your parents shouldnt put their lives on hold for you if that is what it comes down to if they pay for your tuition

 

[CarleneM]

if your parents are able to pay for your entire medical education, then i believe your expected family contribution will be way more for you to handle on your own than those of us who have parents with little to no money to contribute. you have to ask yourself if you are willing to take on a ton of extra debt that med schools figured your parents would be helping you with. if I had super-wealthy parents, i would certainly not refuse some help. now, you could decide you wanted to take out some of the money in loans so you could be "independent" or "learn the value of the dollar" but I wouldn't try to fully go it alone, especially since schools expect parents (especially very wealthy parents) to play a part.

 

[funshine]

Yes, budgeting your $ is an important skill. If you are the kind of person that goes out at night and doesnt think twice before dropping $60+ on drinks and its your parents money, you could use a good lesson in money management. If your parents are millionaires that's one thing but if they arent it isnt quite fair to have them dish out so much money for med school. Your parents shouldnt put their lives on hold for you if that is what it comes down to if they pay for your tuition

OK. This is in response to both of you. I agree completely about the whole independence/growing up thing. But why does letting my parents pay somehow "compromise" that?

I'm pretty responsible, frugal, and I definitely do not spend a lot partying or shopping. And I'm the only child. So no siblings to worry about. My parents have been so careful w/ their money--and they often justify it by saying they are saving it all up for me and my education. I'm not sure how true it is.
You're right in saying that "my parents shouldnt put their lives on hold for me if that is what it comes down to if they pay for my tuition."

But I feel like that is what they've done their whole lives. I've suggested to them many times that I should pay for myself, but my dad always sounds mad, like it's a personal insult.

Do I just keep trying? Be more firm? I know they're doing this in my best interest.

 

[virilep]

yeah for me, it's kinda like they want to pay for my school. and my dad is leaning for me to do the HPSP, the military scholarship and when I told him I didn't want to, he's says he's more worried about the discipline part of it than anything else... he's retired army. so anyhow, i feel like I can pay for my own schooling. I mean so many other people have before me and it's not like I party my ass off either. I mean, I do... but only within a certain budget ;-). holla for nattie light. but anyhow. I agree. paying for it on ur own seems a lot more grown up and I'll be making money later on anyhow. I don't want to put a financial burden on my parents even if they offer. Mybrother is goin to college this coming year and they paid about 6k and I paid about 12k for my Vandy education... what a deal! hope i can pull that off for med school.

 

[tinkerbelle]

My parents are pretyt insistent about paying for me, and my first impulse is to just let them (and thank them/return the money later), but after reading some of the posts on here, I'm starting to have second thoughts.

Forget what everyone else says. Let your parents help you.... and give them tons of hugs for it 😀 I wish my parents could afford to help me pay for med school.

 

[samedicine]

To the OP,

This may not apply to you, but the fact of the matter is, it simply makes more financial sense to utilize government loans to finance educational expenses. I myself have enough money, and make enough money doing intellectual work that requires very little of my time, to pay for medical school, but it is absolutely absurd to pay for it all myself. Even the wealthiest individuals in this country don't pay cash for large purchases; it makes more sense to invest those large cash sums because the investment returns will far outweigh the accrueing interest on the money borrowed in the first place. Now, I doubt that your parents would be willing to hand the money over to you knowing that you are taking out student loans, but if you consider how a $120,000 investment grows in twenty or thirty years, and the fact that consolidated loans at 3 or 4% are actually very manageable, even during your residency, you should understand why student loans are as popular as they seem.

 

[ComfortableWolf]

I think one has to assess whether their parents paying for med school will have an affect their parents quality of life before deciding what is the correct decision between taking out loans or letting parents pay...

If your parents have been blessed with or worked their tail off so that they have enough money to pay for your med school without feeling the financial burden it would be foolish for you to take out loans (unless you can get subsidized loans- but if your parents are that rich you probably cannot)- there is no reson to accrue debt or have interest build for some sense of independence. Interest rates being what they are these days - the conservative investor will not be able to earn enough money from an investment to counterballance the non-subsidized loans needed to pay for school...so the money is better off spent keeping you out of debt.



If your parents will feel the hardship from paying for your schooling then my position would be different...

 

[vikaskoth]

would you guys help your kids pay for school if you could? i know i would

 

[tinkerbelle]

would you guys help your kids pay for school if you could? i know i would

of course i'd help my kids 😀

 

[LSUwannabe]

I think the previous few posters hit the key points.

If it won't adversely affect your parents quality of life then why not let them pay? You can always repay them or buy them something extravagent later.

Also agreed that if you can score subsidized loans you might as well take advantage of the only time in your life someone will pay your interest...

Perhaps you could settle out of court for them just buying a house? 😀


Ultimately, you shouldn't feel pressured to pay if your folks have the cash. Although they often coincide, adulthood can occur without debt.

 

[jeffsleepy]

That's sort of how I look at it. I fully expect to keep paying for my future kids until they start earning their own money. (assuming that they aren't slackers) As a result, I'll let my parents pay for me.

 

[LauraMac]

my parents and grandma have helped me pay for all of college, and i have gladly taken their help. i am still financially responsible... i don't waste money and i pay all my bills on time.

like someone else said, look at your parent's situation. will they still be able to live as comfortable a life as they want if they help you? if so, take their help. if they have to sacrifice anything at all, then don't take their help. that's what i'm doing anyway. my parents really can't afford to help me anymore, so i'm not going to accept anything from them. my grandma on the other hand could afford to help me at least a little, so if she offers i will certainly take her up on that.

unless you will feel like you aren't as independent as you want to be, you should be good to go.

 

[funshine]

😛

I think one has to assess whether their parents paying for med school will have an affect their parents quality of life before deciding what is the correct decision between taking out loans or letting parents pay...

If your parents have been blessed with or worked their tail off so that they have enough money to pay for your med school without feeling the financial burden it would be foolish for you to take out loans (unless you can get subsidized loans- but if your parents are that rich you probably cannot)- there is no reson to accrue debt or have interest build for some sense of independence. Interest rates being what they are these days - the conservative investor will not be able to earn enough money from an investment to counterballance the non-subsidized loans needed to pay for school...so the money is better off spent keeping you out of debt.



If your parents will feel the hardship from paying for your schooling then my position would be different...

My dad has made sure that there is a lot of debt in my account (from stock losses) so that when/if I do need to take out loans in the future, I can get a low interest rate. At least, I THINK this is his rationale. I'm not too sure about financial stuff.

Honestly, my parents have lived their whole lives without most of the comforts that an ordinary family would have. They take extreme pleasure in being frugal. Some might call it miserly but they're my parents so 😛

I think I may take the easy way and follow tinkerbelle's suggestion 🙂

 

[stinkycheese]

My parents paid for all of my siblings' college educations and my sister's and brother's medical school educations. They will also be paying for me. (As it goes, these are all private schools). They have enough money that if they chose, they could travel and have expensive cars, and my father could work half the hours he currently works. But their parents paid for their educations, and they started out debt-free, and they want to do the same for us. While I certainly appreciate their help, I don't stay up nights worrying about whether this makes me less "independent". I plan on paying for my children's educations as well. It's just how my family does things. I chose a profession where I will get a strong sense of personal satisfaction and will be happy, and hopefully will be well compensated for the years I spend training. But the money I earn is not going to be spent on anything other than bettering my family, and that's what I learned from my parents.

I have never understood why parents will buy their 16-yr old kid a ****ty, unsafe car and say that a young kid "doesn't deserve" anything better than that, while they are driving safe, big machines. Doesn't your child deserve the safety of a car that works well? What are you teaching them by giving them a tin can if you can afford to give them a safe, reasonably priced vehicle? I don't understand how people think that children of privilege have no idea of the value of a dollar. I know how hard my parents work for what we have, and I know that I will work equally as hard to give the same to my children, but I don't think that giving your family as much as you can in terms of safety, education, security, etc, is some sort of faulty ideal regarding "learning the value of money".

 

[SanDiegoSOD]

It seems like a lot of ppl on here are taking out loans to pay their own way thru med school, regardless of whether their parents can afford the tuition or not. I was just wondering what the rationale was behind that.

Is supporting youself = independence? becoming a grown up?

Sorry if this sounds like a ******ed question.

My parents are pretyt insistent about paying for me, and my first impulse is to just let them (and thank them/return the money later), but after reading some of the posts on here, I'm starting to have second thoughts.

Those of us who are paying for our own schooling are likely doing so because we come from families who don't have the means to do so for us. Paying for my own schooling (along with govt help, i.e. grants) is not at all about being independent - it's the only option I have.
If your parents are offering to pay for medical school, and they aren't attaching strings to the money, please don't be an idiot and get yourself into $200k of debt just so you can feel independent. Trust me, it's not all it's cracked up to be.

 

[LauraMac]

My parents paid for all of my siblings' college educations and my sister's and brother's medical school educations. They will also be paying for me. (As it goes, these are all private schools). They have enough money that if they chose, they could travel and have expensive cars, and my father could work half the hours he currently works. But their parents paid for their educations, and they started out debt-free, and they want to do the same for us. While I certainly appreciate their help, I don't stay up nights worrying about whether this makes me less "independent". I plan on paying for my children's educations as well. It's just how my family does things. I chose a profession where I will get a strong sense of personal satisfaction and will be happy, and hopefully will be well compensated for the years I spend training. But the money I earn is not going to be spent on anything other than bettering my family, and that's what I learned from my parents.

I have never understood why parents will buy their 16-yr old kid a ****ty, unsafe car and say that a young kid "doesn't deserve" anything better than that, while they are driving safe, big machines. Doesn't your child deserve the safety of a car that works well? What are you teaching them by giving them a tin can if you can afford to give them a safe, reasonably priced vehicle? I don't understand how people think that children of privilege have no idea of the value of a dollar. I know how hard my parents work for what we have, and I know that I will work equally as hard to give the same to my children, but I don't think that giving your family as much as you can in terms of safety, education, security, etc, is some sort of faulty ideal regarding "learning the value of money".

well said 🙂

 

[Nittany Lion]

My parents paid for all of my siblings' college educations and my sister's and brother's medical school educations. They will also be paying for me. (As it goes, these are all private schools). They have enough money that if they chose, they could travel and have expensive cars, and my father could work half the hours he currently works. But their parents paid for their educations, and they started out debt-free, and they want to do the same for us. While I certainly appreciate their help, I don't stay up nights worrying about whether this makes me less "independent". I plan on paying for my children's educations as well. It's just how my family does things. I chose a profession where I will get a strong sense of personal satisfaction and will be happy, and hopefully will be well compensated for the years I spend training. But the money I earn is not going to be spent on anything other than bettering my family, and that's what I learned from my parents.

I'm so glad this thread came up now. I'm kind of in a weird situation right now. The thing is, I was very lucky to have my parents cover my college tuition. I am extremely grateful for that, and wish I could have had the means to help pay a little of my own way.

Having said that, since my parents have been shelling out a lot for the past 4 years, I applied to medical school totally thinking that I was going to do the whole thing on my own (all loans). My parents thought that was a good thing too, especially since they don't really have enough to keep paying. I had been really stressing about how I'm going to handle all of the debt, but then all of a sudden, out of nowhere, my grandparents (who are in their 90s, live independently, spend next to nothing, and have been saving their whole lives after having successful careers), have just offered to help me out (big time) with tuition bills. This is pretty much the first time my grandparents have ever paid for anything huge (aside from their own children's education). As a result of this gift, I will have very little debt coming out of school.

I was so used to being worried about loans and hearing other people worrying about loans, since that's pretty much the plight of the typical med student, that now I just don't know how to comprehend this. I know I worked hard to get here, but I pretty much feel like I don't deserve to have it so easy. And the thing is, my grandparents aren't going to be around forever so it's not like I can buy them fancy cars or something like that someday to show my appreciation. I guess what I'm getting at, though, is that it's nice to see other people are in similar situations and feel like it's ok to accept help from family.

 

[JimmyMallo]

I'm sorry but independence is overrated. It's a state of mind for goodness sakes. I think therefore I am or some thing like that 😕 If they can swing it take advantage of it. What do you think your parents could buy with that money that would make them prouder than having a child become a doctor. You can always help them out later in life. If you appreciate what you are given then I say it's ignorant to refuse help when you need it. Loans can take years to pay off and can affect your desicion making when it comes to selecting a school, a residency, a job etc. I will probably be 160k down when I finish school and I don't feel independent I feel nervous. I'll get through that because this profession is a calling, but why burden yourself. Pay your parents back by making something of yourself and doing the same for your children.

Just my 2¢ 😉

 

[stinkycheese]

It is nice to hear that others share my point of view, and I would like to add that I can't even count the number of times I was ostracized at my private, liberal college when I told people that I wasn't on financial aid. My rooommate, who was also not on financial aid, hid this fact and pretended to be poor so that she could commiserate with people who liked to bitch about how cool and adult they were for paying their own way, and put down people like me who were open about being lucky with their parents' ability to pay. Then again, there were some people at my school who didn't think that one was a worthy person unless they were poor, non-white, and a lesbian. Anyone other than that couldn't possibly have intelligent commentary on social/political issues because they weren't out there in "the real world". I once got chewed out for talking about affirmative action with three other white women. A very privileged Indian woman told us that it was "funny to see white girls talking about AA since we weren't affected by it." HELLO? We're women!

My point is that people will say anything to put down someone else, especially where money is concerned. Not everyone is going to agree with your choices, but it doesn't really matter. Who cares? My family has money. If that makes me a bad person in your eyes, then tough ****, I don't care. I am not spoiled and I am not a brat, I just come from a privileged family.

And that's that.

 

[fun8stuff]

😛

Honestly, my parents have lived their whole lives without most of the comforts that an ordinary family would have. They take extreme pleasure in being frugal. Some might call it miserly but they're my parents so 😛

I think I may take the easy way and follow tinkerbelle's suggestion 🙂

Frugal enough to pay 150k worth of tuition and living expenses?! dang... personally, my parents paying for undergrad is enough. Now, if my parents were multimillionaires, then it wouldn't be that big of deal for me. But, seeing how this isn't the case.... there is no way I could let them do that for me.

 

[doc05]

If your parents can really afford it, let them pay. But just remember that many parents will offer to pay, even if it means serious sacrifices on their part....

 

[stinkycheese]

If your parents can really afford it, let them pay. But just remember that many parents will offer to pay, even if it means serious sacrifices on their part....

I think most children have an accurate idea of whether their parents are grandstanding, or whether they can really afford it. Go with your gut. Or let them pay half.

 

[ComfortableWolf]

precisely!

 

[Fantasy Sports]

I think the culture where you come from plays a big role in whether your parents help you pay or not.

In my culture, parents generally pay for their kids education simply because not doing so is frowned upon by the community. Of course, this assumes that you have the means by which to pay.

In return, the kids either end up living close to their parents to take care of them, buying a house for them when they're older, etc.

Im going to pay for my kids education, so I dont see why my parents wouldnt help me pay for mine.

But overall I think its more of a culture thing than anything else.

 

[lightnk102]

One thing to keep in mind is - are your parents saving enough for their retirement? Or are they giving all their money to you? Given the way Social Security is going - it may be smart of them to start saving ASAP. And the $150k that would otherwise go to your tuition could accrue a good amount of interest in a moneymarket account (one of the most conservative ways to save) for your parents to live off of. Are you comfortable with them being on Medicare/Medicaid? Or would you prefer them to be on a private health insurance plan in their old age? You likely won't be making serious money until you get out of residency. That could be 7-10 years down the line until you can help them out financially if they need it.

Sure, you may accrue debt due to med school, but the bottom line is - you're young and can work to pay that debt off. Your parents likely aren't getting any younger. Personally, I don't know of any families who have $150k "to spare". Some of my friends' parents may have $150k in the bank that they could use, but it would take a decent chunk out of their savings. But perhaps you're just fabulously wealthy. If $150k is "chump change" to your parents and wouldn't affect their living style or their retirement plan in any way - then I don't see a reason to turn down the offer.

 

[stinkycheese]

One thing to keep in mind is - are your parents saving enough for their retirement? Or are they giving all their money to you? Given the way Social Security is going - it may be smart of them to start saving ASAP. And the $150k that would otherwise go to your tuition could accrue a good amount of interest in a moneymarket account (one of the most conservative ways to save) for your parents to live off of. Are you comfortable with them being on Medicare/Medicaid? Or would you prefer them to be on a private health insurance plan in their old age? You likely won't be making serious money until you get out of residency. That could be 7-10 years down the line until you can help them out financially if they need it.

Let's be realistic, though. Families who can REALLY afford to pay for this educational cost are not the same families that are not going to be able to afford health insurance when they get older.

I don't think the msg here is, "suck your parents dryyy!!!", it's, "if your family is comfortable and they offer to pay, take them up on it if you choose and don't feel like a bad person for it!"

 

[IndyZX]

my parents are paying for me. i will pay for my kids.

i think the real world is something that has to hit everyone at some point, but i would love to make sure that my kids dont have to worry about huge debts over their heads when they start working.

 

[fotolilith]

Let's be realistic, though. Families who can REALLY afford to pay for this educational cost are not the same families that are not going to be able to afford health insurance when they get older.

I don't think the msg here is, "suck your parents dryyy!!!", it's, "if your family is comfortable and they offer to pay, take them up on it if you choose and don't feel like a bad person for it!"

Yeah, it definitely depends on the situation. My dad considers it one of the greatest gifts he could give me to finance my education. Considering this is the first time in my life he's been in a position to help me like this, and the fact he's married to a gold digger (this is all the help I'm likely to get from him 🙄), I'm taking him up on the offer right now.

But since my mom IS in that group of parents who need to pay their healthcare bills, I'm not even taking bus fare from her. ;-P

 

[SocialistMD]

My point is that people will say anything to put down someone else, especially where money is concerned. Not everyone is going to agree with your choices, but it doesn't really matter. Who cares? My family has money. If that makes me a bad person in your eyes, then tough ****, I don't care. I am not spoiled and I am not a brat, I just come from a privileged family.

And that's that.

Are you sure you want to continue to post what you've been posting? Reread what you have said, particularly the piece I've highlighted. If you don't give off a sense of rich superiority, then I've never seen it before. It reminds me of a shirt my girlfriend has from her days at Memorial High School in Houston, "We're not snobby, we're just better than you!"

The reason people say "rich kids" do not understand the value of a dollar is because you have no idea what went into buying that nice car and can not appreciate it for what it is worth. I had friends in high school and college whose parents purchased them nice new cars that they ran into the ground or wrecked because they were careless. Those of my friends who purchased their own cars washed them routinely, made sure their oil was changed on time and never tried "hot-rodding" their cars because it was their blood, sweat and tears that went into that car and they knew how hard it would be to get a replacement should something happen. Were there some who took good care despite having daddy's gas card? Sure, but what you were asking is from where the generalization comes. I'll use my pregnant woman analogy once again: you can't tell me how much work goes into paying for a car simply by watching your parents work anymore than I can tell you how bad labor pains are simply by watching a woman in labor. Until you actually work for your the money to buy what you want and need (and until you have to put off what you want for what you need), I don't think you can fully appreciate the value of a dollar.

Funshine, if your parents can afford to pay, let them, but have them put you on a budget. Coming from someone who has been paying for everything down to his own food since he was sixteen, there is nothing learned by having debt, especially when it is unnecessary.

 

[Ypo.]

The reason people say "rich kids" do not understand the value of a dollar is because you have no idea what went into buying that nice car and can not appreciate it for what it is worth.

.

Last time I checked, rich kids could get jobs and learn the value of a dollar as well as poor kids. Similarly, a poor person can win the lottery and blow all the money within a couple of years-so who is to say that poverty teaches the value of a dollar?

My mother started going through medical school when I was 14. Before that, we didn't have ****, we were about to lose our house. I have four brothers and sisters. We had to shop at garage sales for clothes, and work to buy whatever we wanted-my mom provided food and a place to stay. Now, my mother is making big bucks, and my youngest brother (who was 2 when she started med school) doesn't have to do all that. But he still knows the value of a dollar because he works. And he doesn't take everything for granted.

Character has a lot more to do with it than anything. It does help if your parents let you have some adversity in life, and don't just hand you everything. But not all well-off parents spoil their kids, and to say they do is ridiculous. 😉

 

[SocialistMD]

Character has a lot more to do with it than anything. It does help if your parents let you have some adversity in life, and don't just hand you everything. But not all well-off parents spoil their kids, and to say they do is ridiculous. 😉

And it isn't what I intended to imply. I know that many well-off parents do not spoil their children. What I was addressing is why the generalization about rich kids not appreciating the value of a dollar occurs. In particular, I was addressing a particular comment made earlier in the thread that said something to the effect of, oh, "...if you can afford to give them a safe, reasonably priced vehicle..." The operative word in that quote is "give," which is why I put it in italics. To me, "give" does not have the hint at all of suggesting the teen is doing any work for it, but rather that it is a "gift," hence explaining my previous post and how it ties in to explain the generalization. The cheap shot at the beginning is a result of the fact that I could see this poster on MTV's "Super Sweet Sixteen" calling dad and complaining about how it is a crisis that Dior is closed.

 

[stinkycheese]

Are you sure you want to continue to post what you've been posting? Reread what you have said, particularly the piece I've highlighted. If you don't give off a sense of rich superiority, then I've never seen it before. It reminds me of a shirt my girlfriend has from her days at Memorial High School in Houston, "We're not snobby, we're just better than you!".

That is YOUR perception of my words, which had no elitism in them. I merely stated the facts of my life and refuse to apologize for it. If you choose to believe that makes me a worse person than you, then go right ahead. It is your projection, not my problem.

 

[trinitrotoluene]

I was ostracized at my private, liberal college when I told people that I wasn't on financial aid. Then again, there were some people at my school who didn't think that one was a worthy person unless they were poor, non-white, and a lesbian. Anyone other than that couldn't possibly have intelligent commentary on social/political issues because they weren't out there in "the real world".

😍 Happy college memories. 😍

 

[stinkycheese]

The cheap shot at the beginning is a result of the fact that I could see this poster on MTV's "Super Sweet Sixteen" calling dad and complaining about how it is a crisis that Dior is closed.

Silly, silly person. This is my point! People aren't allowed to say "my family is comfortable financially and I feel no need to be ashamed of that" without being branded a rich bitch. There's a constant aura around here of "you should be ashamed that you are not paying for med school." Saying that you have money does not mean that you think you are better than those who do not have money. It is people like you who throw your perceptions of "privileged" people around with no basis for your ideas.

I accept and am grateful for what my parents can do for me. Nothing more. And for the record, I have never shopped at Dior Nice try, though!

 

[fotolilith]

Character has a lot more to do with it than anything. It does help if your parents let you have some adversity in life, and don't just hand you everything. But not all well-off parents spoil their kids, and to say they do is ridiculous. 😉

I believe character is a valuable lesson that parents can teach their children. I've known trust-fund babies who stole from their friends/ dropped out of school (repeatedly)/ became addicted to their meds during anesthesiology residency,etc... but I've known other people who *also* had nearly everything (financially-related) handed to them and STILL know how to function as contributing members of society.

The "value of money" is probably a more salient lesson when you have to work (hard) for it, but parents can still do a lot to re-enforce that lesson and make certain their children can take care of themselves when they are older (rich or not).

Truth be told, my story's pretty close to yposhelley, though after knowing so many trust-fund babies who screwed up their lives, I'm glad that not everything was easy for me (hey, I did drive a car with no a/c in HOUSTON when I was in high school - I should have listed that as a "hardship" on my applications. )

Whoever wants to know if it's "right" to take their parents' money for med school should keep in mind the value of that money. Education is an investment that can have some fulfilling rewards (for you and your parents).

 

[Naijagirl]

I have been reading all these talks about being independent and paying for ones med school vs allowing parents to help. I am filling out the fasfa, and I am trying to decide whether to check the dependent status or the independent status. I heard somewhere that a student will get more money from the govt if they are listed as independent if they have little or no income earnings. However, I know if I list myself as dependent, then the amount I recieve will be based on my parents income, which might seem alot, but its not because I have other siblings in high school and college. I guess what am asking is how does the fasfa work?
🙂

 

[Fantasy Sports]

I think its funny how people assume that just because our parents help us out that we don't understand the value of money and are spoiled.

News flash. Some of us actually do budget even though we are spending our parents money. Heck, my parents tell me to spend MORE since they don't think I'm eating/shopping enough. A lot of us actually feel some guilt about not making money at this point in our careers like our non-professional/gradschool friends and actually try to not to spend too much money...

But honestly, lets keep all these generalizations up:

students whose parents pay for college= rich snobs who can't manage money
students with high GPAs/MCATs= arrogant gunners who have no people skills
students from Ivy schools= only got in because of family connections
students at top medical schools= no different than a DO or Carribbean student
students who are white/asian= rich and annoying
students who are black/hispanic= poor and hardworking

Honestly 🙄

 

[trinitrotoluene]

Some of us actually do budget even though we are spending our parents money. Heck, my parents tell me to spend MORE since they don't think I'm eating/shopping enough.

I find that statement by your parents to quite curious. How do they figure that? Mine would never say anything like that to me.

 

[huduvudu]

One thing to keep in mind is - are your parents saving enough for their retirement? Or are they giving all their money to you? Given the way Social Security is going - it may be smart of them to start saving ASAP. And the $150k that would otherwise go to your tuition could accrue a good amount of interest in a moneymarket account (one of the most conservative ways to save) for your parents to live off of. Are you comfortable with them being on Medicare/Medicaid? Or would you prefer them to be on a private health insurance plan in their old age? You likely won't be making serious money until you get out of residency. That could be 7-10 years down the line until you can help them out financially if they need it.

Sure, you may accrue debt due to med school, but the bottom line is - you're young and can work to pay that debt off. Your parents likely aren't getting any younger. Personally, I don't know of any families who have $150k "to spare". Some of my friends' parents may have $150k in the bank that they could use, but it would take a decent chunk out of their savings. But perhaps you're just fabulously wealthy. If $150k is "chump change" to your parents and wouldn't affect their living style or their retirement plan in any way - then I don't see a reason to turn down the offer.

This is a good point. One other thing to consider is that if you take out the loans in your name and turn them over to your parents after residency then there is no risk of them losing money until you are actually able to help them out. With interest rates as low as they are, this is not going to cost a huge amount (and much less if the loans are subsidized). If things go south for them during med school, however, then you're on your own. As far as medicare/medicaid is concerned, it is actually better for them to give you as much money as possible (i.e. pay off your loans now) and be eligible for these programs without draining their savings into private nursing care (i.e. you become their retirement savings bank). Then you have a choice: if the public programs are not satisfactory then you can pay for their private care, if they are satisfactory then you can return the money to your parents for them to spend at their leisure or your parents have essentially given you an early tax-free inheritance. This is all, of course, under the pretense that you and your parents are alright with joint management of their retirement finances. It's a family thing.

 

[Fantasy Sports]

I find that statement by your parents to quite curious. How do they figure that? Mine would never say anything like that to me.

Because we share the same bank account and they figure aside from monthly housing/energy/utilities costs that I should be spending more than $75 a week of their money to get by... when I generally get by with around that much.

 

[45408]

Forget what everyone else says. Let your parents help you.... and give them tons of hugs for it 😀 I wish my parents could afford to help me pay for med school.

No kidding. I haven't gotten any tuition money for undergrad, so if they offered to ante up for med school, I'd be first in line.

 

[45408]

And then there are the parents with goo-goobs of money and an astronomical EFC (please don't think I'm being a brat, really) that think it would be a great learning experience to pay your own way through med school. I can't complain because they paid for my understand but when I see all the loans I'm not eligible for, it hurts. 🙁

🙄 poor baby


ps: what's your understand? 😀

 

[lightnk102]

Let's be realistic, though. Families who can REALLY afford to pay for this educational cost are not the same families that are not going to be able to afford health insurance when they get older.

I don't think the msg here is, "suck your parents dryyy!!!", it's, "if your family is comfortable and they offer to pay, take them up on it if you choose and don't feel like a bad person for it!"

i don't pretend to know the OP"s financial situation, and i don't think you should pretend to know it either. i consider people whose parents pay for their med school to be very lucky. i just asked her to consider a few things, in case they applied to her. There are many families who culturally will try to support their children regardless of their financial status, and perhaps the OP fell into this category. My family put me AND my brother through private school educations, and they also offered to pay for med school. That's because they thought it was important for them to make sure we were well-educated. It was only after I thought more about things that I decided I wanted my parents to put 100% of their money into retirement (they won't even tell me how much they have in there). It's not because I personally am worried that they'll be on Medicaid or Medicare, as we're by no means socioeconomically disadvantaged, but just because it makes me feel more comfortable. I think its hard for young people our age especially to think far down the road, especially since it doesn't cross our minds very often that our parents are aging. The OP sounds like a decent person, and I don't think she would knowingly 'suck her parents dry'. But in case she wasn't aware of existing financial situations, I thought I'd bring her attention to it.

That was a rather flippant response you gave, especially since it was mentioned that if this money is pocket change to her parents, she should just go for it. But I suppose asking the OP to just consider her parents retirement fund (in case she hadnt before) is considered unrealistic for someone from such a "privileged family".

 

[stinkycheese]

I'm not talking about people whose parents feel an obligation to pay. I am talking abouit people whose parents are wholly financially able to pay. I am sorry you didnt read my post and understand that. And I don't really care if you think my response was "flippant", as it was not directed towards the OP, but rather to people who are insinuating that people who accept their parents' contributions may be doing so at risk of putting their parents in the poor house.

My parents can pay to send me to school without imposing hardship on themselves. Do they go without little luxuries like the hottest cars or the best vacations? Yes, and my family doesn't care about that ****, so it doesn't matter anyway. My situation is not one wherein my parents will be f*cking up their retirement by putting me through school. I am not speaking for anyone else, but that is where I am coming from. And this is the perspective from which I speak.

 

[funshine]

i just asked her to consider a few things, in case they applied to her. There are many families who culturally will try to support their children regardless of their financial status, and perhaps the OP fell into this category. . . I think its hard for young people our age especially to think far down the road, especially since it doesn't cross our minds very often that our parents are aging. QUOTE]

i agree w/ you. thanks for raising these issues. My parents have always been vague (purposely) about financial matters b/c they think it's solely their job to provide the money. But, they are getting older, and I need to make sure they take good care of themselves.

 

[kickdog23]

then theres parents like mine, whose parents paid for them their Entire way through college, med school and even residency (grandparents took care of me while my parents had their own house off my grandparents money throughout residency) who are now bitching at me for even paying for undergraduate, and telling me to go beg my grandparents if I want to finish UG / go to med school... And they're not even 45 yet, so the retirement fund thing doesnt really apply to them.

sigh - some people are more selfish than others, just thought I'd share.

 

[OSUdoc08]

It seems like a lot of ppl on here are taking out loans to pay their own way thru med school, regardless of whether their parents can afford the tuition or not. I was just wondering what the rationale was behind that.

Is supporting youself = independence? becoming a grown up?

Sorry if this sounds like a ******ed question.

My parents are pretyt insistent about paying for me, and my first impulse is to just let them (and thank them/return the money later), but after reading some of the posts on here, I'm starting to have second thoughts.

Because most people's parents aren't wich. We are going to be doctors, and will be able to afford it.

 

[GuyLaroche]

This thread is super lame. My dad is rich. My uncle is a millionaire. My parents own New York, but they want me to pay for med school. Whatever. Who cares? Pay for it whatever way you can and don't burden SDN with your silly attempts at showcasing your stock portfolio. This thread is lame, lame, lame.