Regret

[Minnows]

Hi,

Pgy2 here, doing one of my 24 hours call. I am just so sad. I am sad, that I don't feel like I love this feel. I feel like my personality just does not fit this field. I am too hands on oriented, and i am too inpatient to do any of the subfield that require patience (dementia, movement, neuromuscular). Every day, I don't feel too much of a passion in any area of neurology, and my passion is to finish work and go home. Now I am on a 24 hours call on a Friday, I look enviously onto my friends who dont have to work Friday night. I don't know what I want to do, or if any of this is worth it at all. I don't even think I am going to find a job where I want to live. What am I doing this for. I want to talk to a therapist, but i havent been able to. I just feel like maybe I should have done something else. I really dont like second year.

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[Postictal Raiden]

Yes, seek help. Talk to a therapist. Perhaps, you should ask for time off to address a potential underlying depression.

That said, you can be a neurologist and still do tons of hands-on stuff. Non-invasively, neurophys fits the bill. You can carve out a procedure heavy career where you mostly do EMGs/botox/EEGs/Sleep studies. If you want invasive stuff then do NCC, or better yet, go all-in and do NIR.

Again, your post reeks work anhedonia. Talk to someone.

 

[DrSatan]

Real talk -- this **** f**king sucks. It does get better eventually, but my PGY2 to PGY3 were basically hell. Attendings think we're babies for complaining too (including the crusty old bags on here). You get passed it, but it takes a big toll. Think of the progress you've made in such short time & the patients you've actually saved. We do save lives as neurologists, even if it does not really feel like it at times.

 

[gyngyn]

I want to talk to a therapist, but i havent been able to.

You have access to resources. Do it.

 

[Goro]

Hi,

Pgy2 here, doing one of my 24 hours call. I am just so sad. I am sad, that I don't feel like I love this feel. I feel like my personality just does not fit this field. I am too hands on oriented, and i am too inpatient to do any of the subfield that require patience (dementia, movement, neuromuscular). Every day, I don't feel too much of a passion in any area of neurology, and my passion is to finish work and go home. Now I am on a 24 hours call on a Friday, I look enviously onto my friends who dont have to work Friday night. I don't know what I want to do, or if any of this is worth it at all. I don't even think I am going to find a job where I want to live. What am I doing this for. I want to talk to a therapist, but i havent been able to. I just feel like maybe I should have done something else. I really dont like second year.

Depression is poorly treated on anonymous internet message boards.

Go see a therapist, stat. This is NOT giving medical advice.

 

[Thama]

You're deep in the tunnel. It sucks ass down there. The light will come. I agree completely with not being afraid to seek help while you're down there, and that includes pharmacological help if needed.

You have no idea at this point whether you like inpatient or outpatient work because most residencies suck at actually exposing you to anything other than the worst sort of inpatient work until late in residency, if at all. Resident clinics don't count because you don't need to see thousands of migraine patients with no social support and abundant mental health issues to know that isn't a part of neurology most of us want to do. To illustrate this, you mentioned 2 fields (neuromuscle and movement) that IMO don't require any more patience than fields like MS or epilepsy. In most fields that aren't dementia, you're going to see a distribution of mostly simple treatable bread and butter cases with some doozies mixed in. You won't know which type you like until you get to experience a variety of them. Your experience seeing these patients while hospitalized has little bearing on what they're like in the outpatient setting.

The truth is that once you're out of the tunnel, being a neurologist isn't that different from being most non-surgical things, and there are niches for almost any type of practice you want. We are pulled into the field by the fascination, but in the end it's a job. A good job with excellent job security.