- Joined
- Jul 29, 2004
- Messages
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Relationship woes
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Hello,
I just wanted to get some advice from a Kenyan both male and female prospective. I am not a Kenyan however, I had been dating a Kenyan for 3.5 years up until 4 mths ago. This is very personal so I just want some true advice no matter if it may hurt me. To begin, when I meet this guy, who is a Kenyan, at first I was afraid because I was only 19 and I was off to college and was told that most Africans were only wanting to use American women for citizenship or that they were possessive in nature so I refuse to go out with him however, he was very persistant so I decided to give it a try. Things were going so well that I could not believe it, to make the story short he always talked about us getting married and at first I thought that we were young but I began to consider it because I could not see myself without him anyway this year we were suppose to get married since I was graduating from school and would be back in the same state as him however out of the blue you writes me this email telling me how he has opted out of the relationship and that he needs to pursue his journey on his own. What is so strange is that this is after he has came to visit me from school about 5 wks and he sends me this email. When I call hime to ask him what is wrong all he tells me is that he is not happy but never communicated this before to me so all of this is shock to me. Now I am heartbroken because he was suppose to be my life partner and I do not understand why he would write an email to tell me this and not tell me when he visited me in school. Now that I am back from home I have been told that he has a girlfriend and I find it strange because I had asked him before if he wanted to date other people and he always said that he was sure that he wanted to be with me always and that he wanted us to get married. So now I am thinking that he cheated on me since it has only been 4 mths since you wrote this email and he has been seen driving this women's car and she has been seen driving his car and the apartment that we had picked out together and he had moved in before I went back for my last semester the women now stays there at times when he is at work. I am just confused about this and just wanted to ask another Kenyan what happened. Since I have been home I am talked to him twice face to face and told him how I care for him and how I do not understand whats going on with him but all he says is that it is hard and that he is confused and that he will be going home soon since he is the first born but if all of this is true why did he not talk to me and why all of a sudden this rash decision. I probably shoudn't have wrote this but I just need some advice as to what I should do because I really love this guy and feel like we should be together and just do not know how to leave this situation alone because I feel that something is strange about this situation. Just to add there were never signs of cheating so I did not think that until now so when I asked him if he cheated on me he said no and when I brought up the women's name all he said was that he was not with someone and that he was not planning on dating because he had not been through such a relationship like ours but I am just confused on why this happened. I know I may not ever understand and just try to move on with my life but this is so hard for me because as of now I am suppose to be married to this guy. Also I was wondering if I have told him how I felt do I just let him come to me if he wants to talk or when I see him should I just not speak to him. Also is it that maybe he wants to be with another Kenyan because I was told that the women was an African women. Also could it be that I am wanting to become a doctor and he does not want to have a wife that's a doctor I do not think this is the case because before we started dating he knew all of this and had been very supportive of my career goals. If any one could help me please give me some advice. I have asked my friends and everyone says that this is strange so they do not know what I should do. It has been 4 mths now but for some reason I think that maybe he wants us to be together because at work he risked his job to talk to me as well as wrote me 4 emails. Its just that I do not know what to do and just wanted a Kenyan's prospective since he is a Kenyan. Thank you for any advice that anyone can give.
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Hello,
I just wanted to get some advice from a Kenyan both male and female prospective. I am not a Kenyan however, I had been dating a Kenyan for 3.5 years up until 4 mths ago. This is very personal so I just want some true advice no matter if it may hurt me. To begin, when I meet this guy, who is a Kenyan, at first I was afraid because I was only 19 and I was off to college and was told that most Africans were only wanting to use American women for citizenship or that they were possessive in nature so I refuse to go out with him however, he was very persistant so I decided to give it a try. Things were going so well that I could not believe it, to make the story short he always talked about us getting married and at first I thought that we were young but I began to consider it because I could not see myself without him anyway this year we were suppose to get married since I was graduating from school and would be back in the same state as him however out of the blue you writes me this email telling me how he has opted out of the relationship and that he needs to pursue his journey on his own. What is so strange is that this is after he has came to visit me from school about 5 wks and he sends me this email. When I call hime to ask him what is wrong all he tells me is that he is not happy but never communicated this before to me so all of this is shock to me. Now I am heartbroken because he was suppose to be my life partner and I do not understand why he would write an email to tell me this and not tell me when he visited me in school. Now that I am back from home I have been told that he has a girlfriend and I find it strange because I had asked him before if he wanted to date other people and he always said that he was sure that he wanted to be with me always and that he wanted us to get married. So now I am thinking that he cheated on me since it has only been 4 mths since you wrote this email and he has been seen driving this women's car and she has been seen driving his car and the apartment that we had picked out together and he had moved in before I went back for my last semester the women now stays there at times when he is at work. I am just confused about this and just wanted to ask another Kenyan what happened. Since I have been home I am talked to him twice face to face and told him how I care for him and how I do not understand whats going on with him but all he says is that it is hard and that he is confused and that he will be going home soon since he is the first born but if all of this is true why did he not talk to me and why all of a sudden this rash decision. I probably shoudn't have wrote this but I just need some advice as to what I should do because I really love this guy and feel like we should be together and just do not know how to leave this situation alone because I feel that something is strange about this situation. Just to add there were never signs of cheating so I did not think that until now so when I asked him if he cheated on me he said no and when I brought up the women's name all he said was that he was not with someone and that he was not planning on dating because he had not been through such a relationship like ours but I am just confused on why this happened. I know I may not ever understand and just try to move on with my life but this is so hard for me because as of now I am suppose to be married to this guy. Also I was wondering if I have told him how I felt do I just let him come to me if he wants to talk or when I see him should I just not speak to him. Also is it that maybe he wants to be with another Kenyan because I was told that the women was an African women. Also could it be that I am wanting to become a doctor and he does not want to have a wife that's a doctor I do not think this is the case because before we started dating he knew all of this and had been very supportive of my career goals. If any one could help me please give me some advice. I have asked my friends and everyone says that this is strange so they do not know what I should do. It has been 4 mths now but for some reason I think that maybe he wants us to be together because at work he risked his job to talk to me as well as wrote me 4 emails. Its just that I do not know what to do and just wanted a Kenyan's prospective since he is a Kenyan. Thank you for any advice that anyone can give.
