Residency and my Dating/Social Life

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🙂.

 

[sam1999]

I never said that rock stars were good looking.

Therefore, my comment was not meant to reflect a belief that rock stars are good looking, but rather the belief that many surgeons have that they are as attractive to women and as "cool" as rock stars. Unfortunately, many women feed into that egocentric belief (which I did not and which is perhaps the reason we are no longer together. )

I see, I forgot with you one need to keep facts correct. One can attest to looks of rockers by looking at Mick Jagger or Steven Tyler. One need to ask First lady of France what did she see in Mick Jagger. It can't be just money as I read somewhere perhaps she is quite wealthy herself. May be fame.

Why are you making poor man's private life a public affair? Was it that bad or sort of revenge?

 

[Ribseye]

Maybe it appears different coming from a man's POV, but I can tell you that the ugliest male resident will get the attention of female nurses, allied health care workers simply because of the potential income he has and the promise of the "good life". I've even heard ICU nurses talk about the "holy grail" of marrying a CT Surgeon and this was extrapolated to CTS fellows. They were willing to wait a few years.

I saw it with my own eyes, many times, and even experienced it with my ex-SO (while not ugly, was not the rockstar he and the nurses seemed to think he was. )

But were those nurses supermodels?? Do you actually think a man needs to be better looking than a woman? I fail to comprehend this. Even if I am the ugliest resident, I think I could do better than the hottest nurse at the hospital. I do not think nurses are sexy and I do not see someone like a Stepford Wife changing people's urine catheters. Are my standards really that high?? Thoughts?
I am not trolling here, although I realize the way I write it may look like I am looking to argue with someone. But I am just looking for interesting thoughts from people who obviously have different values than my own.

 

[Ribseye]

+2. I'm female, and I know that residents, particularly male residents, do attract some gold diggerish types. Just because you don't realize it doesn't mean that it can't ever/won't ever happen to you. However, I think if a secure life is just part of what attracts someone to someone else, that's not always 100% bad. Some men don't mind that some women are after them/ in to them for that reason. It depends on the person, I guess.

I agree with the latter part of your post. Does it not seem contradictory to your first sentence? If women are attracted to money, then I would say that includes 99% of mentally stable women. So I think a definition of gold digger should be someone who is not only attracted to money but also offers supermodel looks in return. So are you saying some ugly medical students are dating supermodels? In that case I am sure they feel very victimized...

 

[Ribseye]

Um, we weren't talking about Boris Becker or NBA players, we were talking about residents. You chimed in in response to my statement that golddiggers didn't waste their efforts to prey on poor residents many years from a payday. Thus you must have some exposure to this practice or it's a very strange leap to make. I don't purport to know you beyond your statements, but either you have some personal knowledge as a basis for them, or you are just being outlandish. Yes, "money is a great motivator", but residents have none. Boris Becker and NBA players do. Very significant difference.

pwned! I've been called narcisstic, yet I never equated myself to Boris Becker or Michael Jordan

 

[Ribseye]

I am here to seek additional andpractical advice. I am also introverted and also will be single at the end of medical school. So which cities should I aim for residency? I know I would have to exclude california just because it's so competitive and I never lived there. And I will be open to any city because career comes first to me. But obviously it does not hurt to try to match places like miami or nyc.
Someone here mentioned online dating. I looked at some of those websites and I was not impressed. Most women on there dont look very good. I don't need internet to meet average people. But I would not want to seriously date an average girl. So I need some alternative plans to meet women.
I was not born in this country, and I sometimes browse social sites from my old country. Those girls are much better. I try to only pay attention to those who have a <.70 waist-to-hip ratio. They are diverse too. Some blonde, some brunettes. They range from skinny to curvy. Height from 5'0 to 6'0 with most at 5'7-5'10. I like to read their blogs, sometimes they are funny, perverted, etc. I sometimes write to them and they are not easily annoyed. But I wonder if it is even possible to really make use of "internet dating"? They would have to get a visa to come here as a tourist. And it's kinda hard even for a resident to help them out with a visa. But if they do come, I would not know how to impress them as a resident. If I did my residency in nyc, I'd be living in a such a small apartment that it would be embarassing even to invite an average girl over for a few days. And if I lived somewhere like Ohio then I doubt any girl from my country would want to visit me.

 

[Winged Scapula]

I see, I forgot with you one need to keep facts correct.

I'm not sure what that means or you are implying, so we'll leave it at that.

One can attest to looks of rockers by looking at Mick Jagger or Steven Tyler. One need to ask First lady of France what did she see in Mick Jagger. It can't be just money as I read somewhere perhaps she is quite wealthy herself. May be fame.

Again, you and I are arguing the same thing. Mick Jagger is not a good looking man, by anyone's definition. But there is a pleothora of psychological literature that attests to the fact that women are attracted to fame, power, money...what have you. Henry Kissinger recognized it and so have many others. Maybe Mick Jagger is charming but I was always stymied why Jerry Hall left the oh so cool Bryan Ferry for Jagger. To each his own.

Why are you making poor man's private life a public affair? Was it that bad or sort of revenge?

Poor man. Heh.

1) I am not making his "private life and public affair." I have not mentioned his identity or anything that would allow you to ascertain that identity.

2) He and I actually have a good relationship. We like each other. He calls frequently still; years after the dissolution of our relationship. We talk about surgery, he will call for advice on a case, just to say hi, I call him on his birthday, etc. Bad things happened yes, but they were a long time ago, and I have no need to seek revenge on him.

Perhaps you would like to PM me and explain your rather frequent assumption that I am of bad character. I am confused by the "tone" in your responses to me.

 

[Winged Scapula]

But were those nurses supermodels??

No of course not. Some were average, some were below average and some above. Standard deviation. Supermodels model. They do not spend a lot of time in school in general.

Do you actually think a man needs to be better looking than a woman? I fail to comprehend this.

I'm not sure what that has to do, even remotely, with what I said. As a matter of fact, I think relationships are often more successful if the woman is better looking than the man. Same idea as "he should love you just a little more than you love him" theory.

Even if I am the ugliest resident, I think I could do better than the hottest nurse at the hospital. I do not think nurses are sexy and I do not see someone like a Stepford Wife changing people's urine catheters. Are my standards really that high?? Thoughts?

Your standards may not be high but I think they are unusual.

Now, I can see where you are posting from and perhaps the nurses in your facilities are not attractive. I saw many young nurses, especially on the peds floors, when I was in training, who were very cute and attractive. I round in the hospital here and often see young single female nurses and other allied health professionals that I'm sure are attractive to single young men. My experience was that the male residents did not think they were "too good" for the nurses/allied health workers. They found them caring, attractive, attentive and most of all young and fun. I'm not sure any of them worried that their GF/wives were "Stepford Wives changing people's urine catheters". Its a job, a well paying one, and with some medical interests in common; many men find that attractive.

But to each his own - you may not find nurses sexy, but there are a million Halloween costumers and strippers that cater to men who do. Heck, my own BF admitted to me recently that he dreamed about me at work - but instead of being in the OR wearing scrubs I was wearing a short skirt, fishnets, nurse's cap and high heels. LOL.

 

[sam1999]

Maybe Mick Jagger is charming but I was always stymied why Jerry Hall left the oh so cool Bryan Ferry for Jagger. To each his own.

I am confused by the "tone" in your responses to me.

I am sorry if I have offended you as I did not mean to and nothing to gain. Tone is perhaps due to the fact that English is Not my primary language.

Well, you are a kind of a public figure so if someone knows you then he or she can knows who you are talking about. These days many people "Google" their dates. Not sure if you are married/in a relationship. That might scare some superficial men as they might be discussed online as what a cheapskate was he or etc?

I am always amazed in America how people can do business. For example, two politician running for office and ready to cut each others throat but then one chooses other as understudy.

I never got friendship thing with the ex. There is recent book by someone (forgot his name, will look it up), as he was saying there is no such thing friendship between man and women as only reason he is friends with you is because he can't get you. Perhaps he was saying there is some underlying desire to get you as well behind this friendship thing. I will try to find the book title.

Back to the rockers, I think charm is a big factor. I recently say Steven Tyler on Jay Leno show (it was first time I saw him on a talk show, and I don't watch American Idol). He was quite charming and sound like very mature. If you just read text of his interview (without looking at him), I am sure lots of women will fall for him. You can see that one on Hulu.com.

These days I run/jog with some musicians and I was amazed how they talk to average joe vs girls esp. good looking ones and new to area. It is true charm/flattery is devil's tool.

Last question. I always wanted to ask how do you break a quote. I use automated function and it allows only once. Do you manually add quote and symbols? How do you quote from 2 different treads in one reply?

 

[iwumd07]

Heck, my own BF admitted to me recently that he dreamed about me at work - but instead of being in the OR wearing scrubs I was wearing a short skirt, fishnets, nurse's cap and high heels. LOL.

Same here. 🙂 🙂 🙂

 

[WorkaholicsAnon]

I am here to seek additional andpractical advice. I am also introverted and also will be single at the end of medical school. So which cities should I aim for residency? I know I would have to exclude california just because it's so competitive and I never lived there. And I will be open to any city because career comes first to me. But obviously it does not hurt to try to match places like miami or nyc.
Someone here mentioned online dating. I looked at some of those websites and I was not impressed. Most women on there dont look very good. I don't need internet to meet average people. But I would not want to seriously date an average girl. So I need some alternative plans to meet women.
I was not born in this country, and I sometimes browse social sites from my old country. Those girls are much better. I try to only pay attention to those who have a <.70 waist-to-hip ratio. They are diverse too. Some blonde, some brunettes. They range from skinny to curvy. Height from 5'0 to 6'0 with most at 5'7-5'10. I like to read their blogs, sometimes they are funny, perverted, etc. I sometimes write to them and they are not easily annoyed. But I wonder if it is even possible to really make use of "internet dating"? They would have to get a visa to come here as a tourist. And it's kinda hard even for a resident to help them out with a visa. But if they do come, I would not know how to impress them as a resident. If I did my residency in nyc, I'd be living in a such a small apartment that it would be embarassing even to invite an average girl over for a few days. And if I lived somewhere like Ohio then I doubt any girl from my country would want to visit me.

Troll alert!! 😱

 

[Ribseye]

Troll alert!! 😱

No.

 

[sam1999]

I am here to seek additional andpractical advice. I am also introverted and also will be single at the end of medical school. So which cities should I aim for residency? I know I would have to exclude california just because it's so competitive and I never lived there. And I will be open to any city because career comes first to me. But obviously it does not hurt to try to match places like miami or nyc.
Someone here mentioned online dating. I looked at some of those websites and I was not impressed. Most women on there dont look very good. I don't need internet to meet average people. But I would not want to seriously date an average girl. So I need some alternative plans to meet women.
I was not born in this country, and I sometimes browse social sites from my old country. Those girls are much better. I try to only pay attention to those who have a <.70 waist-to-hip ratio. They are diverse too. Some blonde, some brunettes. They range from skinny to curvy. Height from 5'0 to 6'0 with most at 5'7-5'10. I like to read their blogs, sometimes they are funny, perverted, etc. I sometimes write to them and they are not easily annoyed. But I wonder if it is even possible to really make use of "internet dating"? They would have to get a visa to come here as a tourist. And it's kinda hard even for a resident to help them out with a visa. But if they do come, I would not know how to impress them as a resident. If I did my residency in nyc, I'd be living in a such a small apartment that it would be embarassing even to invite an average girl over for a few days. And if I lived somewhere like Ohio then I doubt any girl from my country would want to visit me.

Who do you think you are, George Cloney? I am pretty sure girls are Not after him because of looks but because of other factors.

You need to be yourself as you are thinking too much into it and try to improve your social skills. There are plenty of fish here as in general there are more women than men esp. in health care if you don't care profession (like nurse or etc) of opposite sex. In NYC every one has small apartment and not every one lives on Upper East Side.

 

[voidlogin]

I lived in Manhattan for 4 yrs. Almost everyone lives in crampy apartments. My friend just brought 500k apt and it was a studio, not even a 1 bedroom (near 52nd st).

To Ribseye: many women come to nyc to start their modeling career. Why on earth would you have to meet women in another country when you have every ethnicity in ny? But to be honest, they probably wont date you since you'll be making sub 500k income. See: http://www.snopes.com/love/dating/golddigger.asp

 

[Ribseye]

Who do you think you are, George Cloney? I am pretty sure girls are Not after him because of looks but because of other factors.

You need to be yourself as you are thinking too much into it and try to improve your social skills. There are plenty of fish here as in general there are more women than men esp. in health care if you don't care profession (like nurse or etc) of opposite sex. In NYC every one has small apartment and not every one lives on Upper East Side.

I am kinda a big deal🙂. I don't pretend to be talented or famous or goodlooking or charming. But I question your desire to date women in healthcare or women from nyc in general. I think if they are as good as they think they are they'll find someone better than I...

 

[Law2Doc]

I am kinda a big deal🙂...

yeah, all folks who are self professed introverts contemplating mail order brides are...

 

[Ribseye]

I lived in Manhattan for 4 yrs. Almost everyone lives in crampy apartments. My friend just brought 500k apt and it was a studio, not even a 1 bedroom (near 52nd st).

To Ribseye: many women come to nyc to start their modeling career. Why on earth would you have to meet women in another country when you have every ethnicity in ny? But to be honest, they probably wont date you since you'll be making sub 500k income. See: http://www.snopes.com/love/dating/golddigger.asp

Void, I am familiar with that post off craiglist. And as far as I know both the advertisement and the response were written by a lonely lawyer who was jealous of people making $500k.
As duly noted, I would not even afford a studio apartment. I mean, being familiar with ny, I could find an affordable apartment for rent. 1000's of residents do it. But it would not be an inviting place for those desirable women who come here to strike gold. So I completely agree with you that those women would not want to date me.

 

[Ribseye]

yeah, all folks who are self professed introverts contemplating mail order brides are...

So you think someone dating a nurse commands more respect than someone who imported a model?

 

[sam1999]

I am kinda a big deal🙂. I don't pretend to be talented or famous or goodlooking or charming. But I question your desire to date women in healthcare or women from nyc in general. I think if they are as good as they think they are they'll find someone better than I...

A certified troll!

 

[The right Path]

So you think someone dating a nurse commands more respect than someone who imported a model?

Uhhhm, if you believe that the career of the person you date actually determines how much respect you command, well there's just no helping you.

 

[Ribseye]

A certified troll!

I am not a troll. But whatever. I've read this topic over and feel guilty for writing or reading it. Internet is designed for advice not for exhibitionism of your(my) problems.

 

[Winged Scapula]

I am sorry if I have offended you as I did not mean to and nothing to gain. Tone is perhaps due to the fact that English is Not my primary language.

I apologize if I misinterpreted your "tone"; I recalled having similar issues before.

Well, you are a kind of a public figure so if someone knows you then he or she can knows who you are talking about.

Yes, it is true that close friends would know whom I am talking about. Those friends are not on SDN AFAIK. *He* knows about SDN and has to date, never commented on things I've said here. As a matter of fact, he would not deny that he thinks he's a "rock star" (or "being a surgeon is the next best thing to being a rock star" as he often said) and would find my comment here amusing.

I could be more circumspect about my life and who I am I suppose, but that's not me. I'm not sure I am a "public figure" outside of SDN (ie, my fame does not stretch very far) so it is unlikely that a non SDN person would know who I refer to.

These days many people "Google" their dates. Not sure if you are married/in a relationship. That might scare some superficial men as they might be discussed online as what a cheapskate was he or etc?

Well despite my tendency toward TMI, it would be rather out of character for me to come here and post such things, like rehashing dates. As for my "status" I think we've discussed that before and I made mention of it above. Besides I don't date "superficial men", or at least not for long. 😉

I never got friendship thing with the ex. There is recent book by someone (forgot his name, will look it up), as he was saying there is no such thing friendship between man and women as only reason he is friends with you is because he can't get you. Perhaps he was saying there is some underlying desire to get you as well behind this friendship thing. I will try to find the book title.

I agree. It can be difficult and is up for all sorts of interpretation. I admit to being confused about it myself for a long time. I still do not know why he feels the need to stay in contact although we could ponder it for days. Supposedly I am the "only person in medicine [he] likes". Does he want me back? Who knows...perhaps on some level. There was a time for that but that door is now closed (or maybe it is cracked open a tad, allowing for some great change to come along -- see I don't know WTF is going on). I truly believe we actually like each other (despite what happened before), but it has taken years (and involvement with someone else) for me to get to the point where I don't feel like vomiting every time I heard his voice. I do see people who are exes who seem to be great friends but I believe that certain conditions have to be met for that to happen. I could honestly be friends with my HS or college BFs, because it was so long ago and frankly, I've forgotten any negative aspects of our relationships only that it wasn't "right".

Back to the rockers, I think charm is a big factor. I recently say Steven Tyler on Jay Leno show (it was first time I saw him on a talk show, and I don't watch American Idol). He was quite charming and sound like very mature. If you just read text of his interview (without looking at him), I am sure lots of women will fall for him. You can see that one on Hulu.com.

Absolutely. This is the same thing surgeon rock stars may have. A certain degree of confidence, a wink and a smile. Charm is very attractive and can overcome a less than Brad Pitt visage. Some just seem to exude it. I have a good friend (who does not read SDN - LOL), a musician (modestly successful, no one you would have heard of). Average looking but very charming, exudes cool ya know? Women flock to him. Unfortunately, he chooses the wrong one (3 marriages so far).

Last question. I always wanted to ask how do you break a quote. I use automated function and it allows only once. Do you manually add quote and symbols? How do you quote from 2 different treads in one reply?

1) to "break a quote", you insert a paragraph where you want to "break" into the conversation and then manually type quote with brackets around it at the beginning of the quote and /quote with brackets around it at the end.

2) to quote from two different threads or "multi-quoting", on the first and subsequent threads click on the icon with the piece of paper and quotes at the bottom left and the "quote" one for the last to be included.

Same here. 🙂 🙂 🙂

 

[sam1999]

Thanks WS for useful insights. It has lot more details than I would have expected. You are lot more generous and politically savvy than I ever could be. I suppose it is due the fact we might have different personalities. There is recent article about innies and outies.
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052702304314404576411640141999396.html

Since we are at dating topic and lots of discussion about female nurses and seeking financial security via male doctors. What about female doctors/residents/medical students and potential mates? I don't want to ask/know your personal experience.

In general women talks esp. after some wine and cheese and I am sure you (people like you) talk about it? Does same factors like money/power/fame attract you (you mean people like you)? Most doctors have money as not all of them have power or fame as very few have them. Or has it changed over time from college, medical school to once become attending? In reality many doctors have stable income and most money comes years later.

 

[Winged Scapula]

Thanks WS for useful insights. It has lot more details than I would have expected. You are lot more generous and politically savvy than I ever could be. I suppose it is due the fact we might have different personalities. There is recent article about innies and outies.
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052702304314404576411640141999396.html

I'm not sure about "politically savvy". Many would say that my comments here are not politically savvy, as I reveal too much personal information and will make negative comments about programs/other physicians which could hurt me if I were to ever consider an academic career.

Since we are at dating topic and lots of discussion about female nurses and seeking financial security via male doctors. What about female doctors/residents/medical students and potential mates? I don't want to ask/know your personal experience.

In general women talks esp. after some wine and cheese and I am sure you (people like you) talk about it? Does same factors like money/power/fame attract you (you mean people like you)? Most doctors have money as not all of them have power or fame as very few have them. Or has it changed over time from college, medical school to once become attending? In reality many doctors have stable income and most money comes years later.

It HAS changed, for me at least.

When I was younger, I preferred to date men with similar education and income backgrounds. This obviously limits the dating pool *considerably* and hence, is the reason that for the last several years, I have dated mostly other physicians.

Now however, I have found that what is important to *me* (and to many of my female surgeon friends) is that our partner be happy. Happy partner makes for happy relationship. That they have some fulfillment in life and are working toward a goal. They need to have a passion in life. That may be as a physician, or as an artist, writer, construction worker, or even as a student working toward a degree. I want someone who values education, although doesn't necessarily have to have the same level of education as I.

We talk about this frequently and do not need "wine and cheese" to do so (although that makes it nice). Most surgeons are pretty outgoing. 😀 My female friends (many of whom are surgeons and physicians) tend to feel the same. We don't need someone to support us financially; that being said, we are congnizant that there may be people who try and take advantage of that. Yes, there are *male* gold diggers. I've had more than one friend marry someone who proceeded to quit his low level job and thought he could just lay around the house doing nothing all day.

My current BF is a charity worker. My income is many fold greater than his. However, he also holds a couple of world records in swimming, is well known in his circles and is a compassionate, sensitive (physically fit) man. Most physicians I interact with care only about whether the Porsche is in the shop and spend all day complaining about things. It is very tiresome. He does not; he is a happy, fulfilled humanitarian. SO for *me* that's what important now. I don't need someone with money/power/fame; I need someone who is happy, who makes me happy and shares my goals and interests. Most of my female physician friends feel the same.

YMMV.

Oops...I now see you said you "don't want to ask/know my personal experience". LOL...just ignore the above then.

 

[Ribseye]

he also holds a couple of world records in swimming, is well known in his circles and is a compassionate, sensitive (physically fit) man. Most physicians I interact with care only about whether the Porsche is in the shop and spend all day complaining about things.

Watch the movie TWINS.

 

[Winged Scapula]

Watch the movie TWINS.

Hmmm...ok. Haven't seen it in years so am intrigued about a possible link.

Or why don't you clarify? Its not available on Hulu, or instant streaming on NetFlix. What's the joke?

 

[Ribseye]

Hmmm...ok. Haven't seen it in years so am intrigued about a possible link.

Or why don't you clarify? Its not available on Hulu, or instant streaming on NetFlix. What's the joke?

I thought everyone has seen it at least a 1000x. Your bf is Arnold and normal people , doctors, are like Danny DeVitto in that movie.

 

[sam1999]

Oops...I now see you said you "don't want to ask/know my personal experience". LOL...just ignore the above then.

WS: Thanks for sharing your insights. So you are the head of the household! 😀 J/K

 

[Winged Scapula]

I thought everyone has seen it at least a 1000x. Your bf is Arnold and normal people , doctors, are like Danny DeVitto in that movie.

Ah...I see. I've probably only seen it twice.

Yes, he is. What can I say.

WS: Thanks for sharing your insights. So you are the head of the household! J/K

Since I live with my cat, the answer would be yes. He is very cute but not good with numbers. Last time I allowed him to carry the credit cards, he maxed them out on catnip and tuna fish.

 

[JelloBrain]

Since I live with my cat, the answer would be yes. He is very cute but not good with numbers. Last time I allowed him to carry the credit cards, he maxed them out on catnip and tuna fish.

👍

I feel like I am just a slave to my cats, they actually run my household. My whole existence is just to feed them and give them a warm body to snuggle against. Hence I am the one who carries the credit cards to buy them cat food, balances the numbers, etc. Maybe my cats should learn from yours on how to let me be the head of household, 🙂.

I also agree about your other comment on how some people have this charm, this charisma, that makes everything else seem insignificant. I also agree that the level of education is not that important, rather, having a passion for something, and being smart and intelligent, are more important when it comes to dating someone.

 

[Winged Scapula]

👍

I feel like I am just a slave to my cats, they actually run my household. My whole existence is just to feed them and give them a warm body to snuggle against. Hence I am the one who carries the credit cards to buy them cat food, balances the numbers, etc. Maybe my cats should learn form yours on how to let me be the head of household, 🙂.

That's because you have 3 cats, Jello. They collude on ways to manipulate you.

 

[PharmaTope]

So basically, I'm a single guy in my mid 20s.

I want to go into Internal Medicine, and all the cities I am looking at are medium sized cities in the mid west.

I am close by my family. But I will be on my own. Whichever hospital I go to, I will be in a new city.

I am really worried about the social aspect of residency. I've always wanted to get out and do things, but I always put everything aside for medicine. On top of that, I'm introverted and quiet. So I never made a lot of friends in med school, and I wasn't one of those people who went out every other weekend and drank or went on vacations, or went on dates. Usually 2-3 of us go to a movie or to dinner.

But I'm tired of living my life like that. I want to become more social in my residency. I KNOW it will be busy. However, despite being busier in med school than college, I have more of a social life now.

I'm just afraid of going to a new city and falling back into my old routine of being a loner who does nothing but work all the time. No history of going on vacations, no past relationships, zip. Also, I'm at an age where I am REALLY trying to date more. But I have had no luck with it. It has been frustrating, and I also dread being single all through my residency.

I'd appreciate any advice on what you think I could do to help my situation. Maybe I worry too much. Or not enough?

where are you going? well the first step is YOU STATED YOU ARE TIRED OF BEING THAT WAY.

when you hear of any event going on, party, drinks, dinner, etc, GO TO IT. even if you arent gonna drink etc this opens up more social interactions with you.

online dating is eh. most are just women on there wanting to get ego boosts bc women crave and need attention. you can meet some people but it will take a lot of dates to meet a good quality normal person.

just focus on your new job and make sure you dont make rookie mistakes of entering THE WORK WORLD. that alone is gonna be a huge huge slap in the face. the bull**** petty office type politics. women will come and go in life, just focus on making YOURSELF BETTER.

ie explore new interests, meet some buddies, go out, just meet people, appreciate life bc life is so precious and so amazing. do everything you can to avoid watching tv at home etc. even reading, do some reading in a public place IF YOU CAN.