Residency cultures

Started by mwest
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mwest

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10+ Year Member
I am used to a culture where residents are very social and friendly (in the warm Southwest). Recently transferred to a program in East Coast where I can't seem to crack the shells of most of my fellow residents. Some people don't even look welcoming which really struck me as strange (in my previous program we used to throw welcome parties for new residents).
It doesn't look there are too many social events that residents attend together.
I love this place otherwise for so many other reasons, just thought that this was a bummer. I wonder how people have adjusted in similar circumstances. Any thoughts?
 
You could try hosting some gatherings for residents yourself and see if anyone is receptive.
 
the general culture of the east coast is very shelled up. people aren't generally friendly because the area is generally not very safe or it is just their general nature to not be friendly. I know this because 3 of my residencies i worked in the east coast, while Im a generally nice and friendly midwesterner ( or at least used to be until the east coast rubbed off on me). i used to be as nice as can be. it is a totally different culture or more precisely "array of cultures". you'll just have to learn to adjust to it, because they even criticized me for doing anything friendly like wanting to eat lunch or smiling, etc. i met so many rude people in my program it was unreal. i felt like many didn't like me for my friendly nature. many people there have trust issues there and won't suddenly rush out to meet you unlike in other places like the south or even midwest..it takes time to get to know some of these people. i wasn't used to that sort of demeanor, whereas in the midwest people are often more friendly and welcoming, etc. there are more foreign people in the east coast so that is also an issue, they often act according to their culture, and some stay isolated and are cliquish, some don't even know a word of english and can't even communicate to easily with you. it is a learning experience indeed. you learn about a heterogenous mix of all types of people. it is a great place though at times, sometimes i've seen random friendly strangers talk to you on the street or subway, because there is an abundance of people around, unlike in the south or midwest.
 
LOL. Agree with Turq except for the part about meeting randomly friendly strangers...if someone is nice to you (particularly on the subway) they are about to ask you for money. What you've described is the culture of the NYC metropolitan area and the main reason that I regret attending medical school there.

As for how to adjust: I suppose I never really did. I moved away and I thank God for every single day that I'm not living there anymore. Now that I'm back in an area where people treat others like human beings, I appreciate it a lot more than I would have otherwise. That's about the only positive thing that I can say about NY.

Good luck, it won't last forever---it'll just seem like it.
 
I think that is a bit of an extreme and unfair knock on the northeast. I actually have liked the New Yorkers that I have met. I actually think that although there are some cultural things at work, and people tend to be busier and more rushed and maybe less friendly overall in the northeast, that isn't true of all programs. A lot of the "culture" stuff is program-specific. Some of it has to do with how overworked the residents may be (attendings, too). Also some places are more hierarchical than others and if you are at one of those hierarchical places you won't see much socializing that involves attendings or fellows with groups like interns or lower level residents. I think of all the places I've worked or gone to school, people in the West are the most laid back, and the least hung up on any type of hierarchy.

But back to the OP's question. I'm not sure how you can make unfriendly people friendly, if in fact they turn out to be truly unfriendly. If they are just busy and overworked, then perhaps instigating some sort of happy hour or get-together would work. Otherwise, you can try to pick out the friendlier or lonelier ones and try to make individual friendships.
 
thesauce said:
LOL. Agree with Turq except for the part about meeting randomly friendly strangers...if someone is nice to you (particularly on the subway) they are about to ask you for money. What you've described is the culture of the NYC metropolitan area and the main reason that I regret attending medical school there.

As for how to adjust: I suppose I never really did. I moved away and I thank God for every single day that I'm not living there anymore. Now that I'm back in an area where people treat others like human beings, I appreciate it a lot more than I would have otherwise. That's about the only positive thing that I can say about NY.

Good luck, it won't last forever---it'll just seem like it.
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some peole enjoy living in the cultural capital of human civilization. some people feel safer in peoria. the op's description only sounds like nyc to the latter.
 
I am in residency in NYC and my residency is great. We have bbqs, go out drinking (often with the attendings), and get along really well. Don't stereotype the entire Northeast based on tv or a few peoples experiences. Are people here as outwardly friendly as Southerners? No, but they also don't bull**** you as much.
 
I also don't understand why people always say "Nobody says hi to you or talks to you when you are on the subway". There are a lot of ****ing people in NYC and I'd be annoyed if they all said hi (thus requiring me to say hi back to them). I don't ride the subway to socialize, I ride it to get from A to B (actually I rarely ride it at all, I got a car suckers). I love the fact that in NYC I can just ignore everyone. I hate small talk.
 
Was in a program in upstate New York, and we were very friendly with each other. The hospital provided good housing for the residents, and we all knew everyone because we were neighbors for the most part. Parties with the all the housestaff (even the surgery/IM issue was poked at jokingly,) at least 3 times a year.
 
I think the East Coast is taking an undeserved bad rap here. My program is in the North East. I've probably been to 5 or 6 functions with our new interns since they started. That being said, some of the other programs at the hospital are less social - either due to work hours or because their seniors and program leadership didn't set a great example for them and no one within the class stepped up to change that.
 
doctorFred said:
some peole enjoy living in the cultural capital of human civilization. some people feel safer in peoria. the op's description only sounds like nyc to the latter.
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Or anyone who uses deductive reasoning. The OP mentioned an east coast residency. There are more residencies in the NYC metropolitan area than anywhere else on the east coast.
 
rofl. im rotating in new york right now, and we have a few texas/ok people in the program who just got here. they pulled me aside, since im from texas also, and asked if it was just them who was noticing this cold/indifferent attitude. its so sad here.
 
Disclaimer: I was born/raised in the NY/NJ area, med school in the NE, residency in the Midwest, and now I'm back home. I've seen culture shock go both ways. I've seen the personality differences first hand, and there is a small degree of truth here. My first thought when I arrived in the Midwest was, "I could so take over this place, if I were evil."

Based on personal experience, NYCers may seem less approachable, but you know where you stand with them. Look up the term "Minnesota nice".

Bottom line: there are warm and cold people (and programs) everywhere, no matter where you go.
 
pnp366 said:
.... we have a few texas/ok people in the program who just got here. they pulled me aside, since im from texas also, and asked if it was just them who was noticing this cold/indifferent attitude. its so sad here.
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*thumbup* TX 😉 I spent my entire life in Virginia until I moved to Texas, and I gotta say the culture is a lot different. Grew up around D.C. (quite unfriendly) moved to southwest VA boonies (nicer country people, but still standoffish)....to Texas. And so far, have been amazed at the genuine friendliness of people here. Sure, we have out crazy hicks and loonies, but for the most part is seems the more southwest you are the more approachable people are. Living in the 11th most educated city in the US helps though, I am sure ("who'da thunk it" in Texas, hah!). Did some work at Purdue and was also amazed by the Midwest attitude (am currently dating and Indiana native too, gotta love those Midwest guys!)

Not like people on the East Coast are evil or anything, but they are much harder to get to know. Once you DO know them, they are great people - but breaking through that shell is a lot harder. Just go get em drunk 😉 (well, only half kidding)
 
My program is in Queens. I had come from rural Pennsylvania, where people are generally friendlier, and had thought New Yorkers were cold, rude, and distant at first. However, after being here several years, I've become very friendly with many people: attendings, residents, nurses, clerks, etc... It just takes time to get to know New Yorkers. They're a little guarded at first, but once you get to know them, they open up to you.
 
You have to understand that the NE population in general do not realize how lousy their lives are up there compared to the South. For example, driving around aimlessly for a parking spot only to pay outrageous prices for every day needs. Another example, you join a gym. In the south you'll find a huge new gym with tons of equipment, plenty of lockers and all kinds of activities and pay around $30-40/month. In the NE, you'll get a gym that was built from a shirt factory from the 1920's and pay $150/month...good luck with the locker thing. The clueless NE'steners will say how nostalgic the building is and be excited that there's a fruit stand around the corner. Then they'll arrive home to their $3500/month studio apt. and pay the exterminator who's leaving as they both wink at each other and boast about how wonderful their city is. Meanwhile, the Southern folk walk to their car...without a scarf as it's not -20F outside, pass by 20 grocery stores, several super walmarts and pull into their driveway and enjoy an evening in their 3000sqft home they're paying $1500/month for. I grew up in the south and lived in NY for 4 years. Those poor bast**** really don't know what they're missing.
 
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