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Resignation/termination from residency (long post, really struggling here)
USMD grad class of 2024 here. In late 2024/early 2025 I was dealing with some very difficult life circumstances. My dad was diagnosed with multiple myeloma which has invaded his skull and spine. And then about a month later my longtime girlfriend, who was pregnant with our child and I was hoping to marry, was killed in a motor vehicle accident. Our child was killed instantly—she initially survived but passed about 3 weeks later.
To be honest, I just started to struggle enormously during her time in the ICU and in the aftermath of these events. Although I tried not to show it and still showed up to work each day, my program had to have noticed a change/decline in my demeanor and performance and were I think at a loss. For months, I did not tell any of them what was going on, not wanting to look weak/make excuses, and now I totally regret this. They drug tested me like 4+ times (all of which were negative), placed me on a PIP, and then referred me to the state health board in April. It was here that I finally began to open up somewhat about what I was going through.
They placed me a leave of absence for 90 days, most of which I spent at MD Anderson with my father who was receiving cancer treatment. However, during this time, while I was not even on rotations, they went ahead and placed me on probation. My progression to PGY2 was obviously delayed, and I know that I really messed up their call schedule, etc. I came back, completed 4 extra months of PGY 1 rotations, and then was given notice of termination/resignation option instead of termination.
I know that when a resident is fired, it is an enormous red flag. Other program directors have consistently asked me if there is something else I am not telling them—such as an arrest, substance abuse, an inappropriate relationship with patients/staff, HIPAA violations, killing a patient, etc. Although I am far from perfect, there is not anything like that. Even my old program has offered to attest to that. I almost think they are skeptical that something else didn’t happen. I have even, as morbid as it sounds, offered to provide medical records and death certificates to prove I am not making up a sob story.
None of this is to say it isn’t my fault. It is absolutely my fault—I let outside life events affect my work, my demeanor, my performance. And I know that is unacceptable, and 100% on me. I was just going through an enormously difficult time and quite frankly having difficulty focusing. That’s on me.
My life is now ruined. I put all these years and all this money into this, and now it’s just over. Does anyone have any type of advice? I have no interest in suing my old program or anything like that, I’m not like that. I would be so grateful to get a new program, maybe a place that is a little more compassionate, and work my ass off to show I can be a kind, caring, competent physician.
USMD grad class of 2024 here. In late 2024/early 2025 I was dealing with some very difficult life circumstances. My dad was diagnosed with multiple myeloma which has invaded his skull and spine. And then about a month later my longtime girlfriend, who was pregnant with our child and I was hoping to marry, was killed in a motor vehicle accident. Our child was killed instantly—she initially survived but passed about 3 weeks later.
To be honest, I just started to struggle enormously during her time in the ICU and in the aftermath of these events. Although I tried not to show it and still showed up to work each day, my program had to have noticed a change/decline in my demeanor and performance and were I think at a loss. For months, I did not tell any of them what was going on, not wanting to look weak/make excuses, and now I totally regret this. They drug tested me like 4+ times (all of which were negative), placed me on a PIP, and then referred me to the state health board in April. It was here that I finally began to open up somewhat about what I was going through.
They placed me a leave of absence for 90 days, most of which I spent at MD Anderson with my father who was receiving cancer treatment. However, during this time, while I was not even on rotations, they went ahead and placed me on probation. My progression to PGY2 was obviously delayed, and I know that I really messed up their call schedule, etc. I came back, completed 4 extra months of PGY 1 rotations, and then was given notice of termination/resignation option instead of termination.
I know that when a resident is fired, it is an enormous red flag. Other program directors have consistently asked me if there is something else I am not telling them—such as an arrest, substance abuse, an inappropriate relationship with patients/staff, HIPAA violations, killing a patient, etc. Although I am far from perfect, there is not anything like that. Even my old program has offered to attest to that. I almost think they are skeptical that something else didn’t happen. I have even, as morbid as it sounds, offered to provide medical records and death certificates to prove I am not making up a sob story.
None of this is to say it isn’t my fault. It is absolutely my fault—I let outside life events affect my work, my demeanor, my performance. And I know that is unacceptable, and 100% on me. I was just going through an enormously difficult time and quite frankly having difficulty focusing. That’s on me.
My life is now ruined. I put all these years and all this money into this, and now it’s just over. Does anyone have any type of advice? I have no interest in suing my old program or anything like that, I’m not like that. I would be so grateful to get a new program, maybe a place that is a little more compassionate, and work my ass off to show I can be a kind, caring, competent physician.
