Responding to "gift questions"

[double elle]

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Hi all -
I am wondering what you guys say when asked what you want for graduation. My father-in-law asked me that yesterday and I had no idea what to day. The truth is - the things I really want are way too expensive to ask someone else to buy for me (better digital camera, MiFi). I have no idea how to respond to this question. With my in-laws, they have the money to buy anything - but that isn't the point. My side of the family doesn't have a lot of money to spend. Of course, gifts are great - but I don't want ANYONE to think they have to buy me anything just because I've sent them an announcement. I generally say that I really haven't thought about it and that I really don't need anything - which I don't....I'm not moving and my husband has a very good job, so I don't really need cash (although who would turn down cash!?!).

I really don't have any ideas of anything that could be nice that is modestly priced - but I don't want people spending money on things I don't want, either...because I know they will buy SOMETHING.

So, after he kept badgering me about it - I thought of the biggest thing I want......and told him I'd like a vacation to Fiji-to turtle island specifically and to expect to spend about 15-20K. Of course, this was all joking, because - like I said - I didn't know what to say. Any suggestions?

Does anyone ever ask for "service gifts"....like massages, or a number of housecleaning hours....that would be the best thing for me! Or, babysitting services.... 😛

 

[jamie]

My sister said someone suggested she get me an espresso machine -- a cute idea, but not for me. I told my husband I would like an ipod or one of those chair back massagers.

 

[Mutterkuchen]

I think that if I were in your shoes, I'd just let everyone know "no gifts please." It's sort of like your 40th anniversary, you have virtually everything that you really want. Maybe people would ignore this, but I think that it is a little impolite to give a gift if there is a "no gifts please" policy, since doing so makes other people look bad.

For gift ideas, services are good ideas. But I wouldn't want a coupon from my brother-in-law offering a 30 minute message from him. . . I also wouldn't want my parents or in-laws to clean my house for me--a little too personal. That's just me, though.

That said, I would find an answer for these people, otherwise you are going to get a bunch of crappy personalized pens that say "double elle, MD" on them. . . they'll cost your family a fortune for something that you probably don't need or want.

 

[tRmedic21]

I wish people would listen when you tell them "No gifts, please." Unfortunately, I've been telling people this for years, and they don't listen. I don't celebrate my birthday, and I don't want anyone giving me a gift at any time, for any reason. I love to give gifts when I can afford it, so maybe that makes me hypocritical? I just don't want most of my friends or family spending their money (which they have little of) on me, when I am perfectly capable of buying whatever I want.

I want to buy my mother a house (hers is crap), but she says she won't let me.... anyone had this problem? How to deal with it?