Romance in ER

[subi]

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its really boring!!! 😴

lets talk about hilarious scenes in the ER?

 

[subi]

http://www.jwolfe.clara.net/Humour/Anecdotes.htm#TrueStories

 

[medivac]

Haven't posted since the match, as getting married, leaving the navy, moving, and now barely keeping my head above water in residency has kept me busy.

Here's a lovely romance in the ED story from my transitional internship at the naval hospital in VA.

It helps to know that for some odd reason, the skinniest pockmarked enlisted kids marry the most obese fibromyalgia chronic pain fertile women ever.

So I'm doing a pelvic exam for what chief complaint now escapes me. The husband requested to stay for the exam as "She needs me here for support. These sort of exams stress her out" Ok, whatever. I'm an intern, and I just want to get them out of the ED. Mid exam the corpsman elbows me hard. I look up to see him vigorously massaging her nipples as they deeply tongue kiss. Uck. Uck. Uck. Exam is over. To my query of what the hell are they doing, he replies, "It helps her relax and ignore the exam."

They were discharged from the ED.

In looking at previous visits, she had been in the ED every week for the previous 2 months. This was their idea of sex play?

I still feel violated and used.

uck uck uck.

 

[JaySin]

Haven't posted since the match, as getting married, leaving the navy, moving, and now barely keeping my head above water in residency has kept me busy.

Here's a lovely romance in the ED story from my transitional internship at the naval hospital in VA.

It helps to know that for some odd reason, the skinniest pockmarked enlisted kids marry the most obese fibromyalgia chronic pain fertile women ever.

So I'm doing a pelvic exam for what chief complaint now escapes me. The husband requested to stay for the exam as "She needs me here for support. These sort of exams stress her out" Ok, whatever. I'm an intern, and I just want to get them out of the ED. Mid exam the corpsman elbows me hard. I look up to see him vigorously massaging her nipples as they deeply tongue kiss. Uck. Uck. Uck. Exam is over. To my query of what the hell are they doing, he replies, "It helps her relax and ignore the exam."

They were discharged from the ED.

In looking at previous visits, she had been in the ED every week for the previous 2 months. This was their idea of sex play?

I still feel violated and used.

uck uck uck.

Would that count as having a threesome?

 

[Anuwolf]

Haven't posted since the match, as getting married, leaving the navy, moving, and now barely keeping my head above water in residency has kept me busy.

Here's a lovely romance in the ED story from my transitional internship at the naval hospital in VA.

It helps to know that for some odd reason, the skinniest pockmarked enlisted kids marry the most obese fibromyalgia chronic pain fertile women ever.

So I'm doing a pelvic exam for what chief complaint now escapes me. The husband requested to stay for the exam as "She needs me here for support. These sort of exams stress her out" Ok, whatever. I'm an intern, and I just want to get them out of the ED. Mid exam the corpsman elbows me hard. I look up to see him vigorously massaging her nipples as they deeply tongue kiss. Uck. Uck. Uck. Exam is over. To my query of what the hell are they doing, he replies, "It helps her relax and ignore the exam."

They were discharged from the ED.

In looking at previous visits, she had been in the ED every week for the previous 2 months. This was their idea of sex play?

I still feel violated and used.

uck uck uck.

wow I sure like to do some of that in the ER hahahaha! 🙂

 

[erichaj]

Maybe the combination of pelvic exam and cold speculum along with the nipple stimulation and the kissing is what turned them on. In fact they may have gone home and fantasized about you while they went at it.

If this is true, you did have a threesome.

congradulations. LOL 😀

 

[southerndoc]

Would that count as having a threesome?

Yep. Congratulations medivac on having your first menage a trois.

 

[Anuwolf]

I must say... thats a gift having a doc do that and then making out with your spouse.

Frankly I'm quite jealous 🙁

 

[TxMed]

you could have at least offered to let them keep the speculum.

 

[southerndoc]

you could have at least offered to let them keep the speculum.

Probably would have prevented further visits.

 

[kungfufishing]

that is so repulsive even I dont like it.

 

[igcgnerd]

After seeing two hobos, who both said they havent had a bath in a few months, going at it in the supply closet of the er, the pelvic exam incident doesnt sound so bad.

 

[bulgethetwine]

Yep. Congratulations medivac on having your first menage a trois.

I looked. There's no billing code for that.

 

[deleted87716]

I looked. There's no billing code for that.

Ah, but there is: V62.9 (unspecified psychosocial circumstances).

If I were going to submit that for billing, I sure as hell wouldn't want it specified. 😛

 

[Anuwolf]

Maybe I should go to the ER to get a pelvic examination 😉

 

[medivac]

again, uck uck uck.

And my attending at the time laughed at me and brought up the threesome as well. Perhaps I should have given her a plastic speculum for home use.

Unrelated, but here's something I find odd in my new institution: We use the old school metal speculums that come in the autoclave type packaging, but we THROW THEM AWAY after one use.

I hate using metal speculums. I am spoiled by the plastic ones that have the nice light popped into the end. But throwing these things away seems like an awful waste (not that I"m volunteering to autoclave the suckers myself though....)

Anyone else toss the metal speculums after use?

 

[jeff2005]

That's disgusting. I would have been furious. "Get the f*** out of this ER and don't come back!"

 

[Jeff698]

That's disgusting. I would have been furious. "Get the f*** out of this ER and don't come back!"

If only that worked...

Take care,
Jeff

 

[Apollyon]

Anyone else toss the metal speculums after use?

The ones I'm familiar with, no. If they are autoclaved, then they should be reusable. I don't know if there are any disposable metal specula.

That has to be a CRAZY expense.

 

[BKN]

The ones I'm familiar with, no. If they are autoclaved, then they should be reusable. I don't know if there are any disposable metal specula.

That has to be a CRAZY expense.

Well, maybe. We use the plastic fiberoptic disposables and love them.

But our laceration kits are custom and use pakistani reusable grade instruments and we throw them away. CS gets them for the same price as the disposable instruments and they are far nicer. CS tells us it's cheaper to toss them than to collect and sterilize them.

 

[Apollyon]

But our laceration kits are custom and use Pakistani reusable grade instruments and we throw them away. CS gets them for the same price as the disposable instruments and they are far nicer. CS tells us it's cheaper to toss them than to collect and sterilize them.

The only instruments we had from Pakistan were cheaply made - did one job, and that was it. Even if you wanted to, the needle holder was bent out of shape or the teeth wouldn't hold, and the scissors were dull. On longer jobs, the suture slipping right out of the needle holder when doing an instrument tie was a joy. Interesting.

 

[BKN]

The only instruments we had from Pakistan were cheaply made - did one job, and that was it. Even if you wanted to, the needle holder was bent out of shape or the teeth wouldn't hold, and the scissors were dull. On longer jobs, the suture slipping right out of the needle holder when doing an instrument tie was a joy. Interesting.

Yes, they make them in all grades. We used to use the disposables, they're awful. The stuff we get now includes a webster plastics driver, a straight iris scissors and a adson's with teeth. They open and close correctly and I reused them up to 4 times for a wound care course using pig's feet (really thick tough skin).

Usually all you have to do is tell the supplier what you want and you can get a custom set that will not cost a lot, perhaps less than you're paying now for trashy stuff.

 

[leviathan]

The only instruments we had from Pakistan were cheaply made - did one job, and that was it. Even if you wanted to, the needle holder was bent out of shape or the teeth wouldn't hold, and the scissors were dull. On longer jobs, the suture slipping right out of the needle holder when doing an instrument tie was a joy. Interesting.

I had difficulty cutting through jeans with my trauma shears about a month ago. Afterwards I looked more closely at them and saw "Made in Pakistan" on the side. Go figure.

 

[Shodddy18]

After seeing two hobos, who both said they havent had a bath in a few months, going at it in the supply closet of the er, the pelvic exam incident doesnt sound so bad.

As if that is not bad enough... once while working EMS I saw one 60+ y/o hairy stinky male bum going down on the crazy 50+ y/o stinky female bum. But they were on the beach under the pier... so I guess that counts as romantic

 

[Dianyla]

As if that is not bad enough... once while working EMS I saw one 60+ y/o hairy stinky male bum going down on the crazy 50+ y/o stinky female bum. But they were on the beach under the pier... so I guess that counts as romantic

RIP, www.bumshumping.com 😱

 

[allylz]

they were probably just Berkeley freshmen 🙂

 

[subi]

do the ppl in ER really have any fun????

 

[southerndoc]

do the ppl in ER really have any fun????

Of course. Just the other day docB changed the diaper and fed a cookie to one anal retentive OB/gyn attending.

 

[deuist]

Yep. Congratulations medivac on having your first menage a trois.

I think it's called a triage-a-trois

 

[Dr.Evil1]

There is a guy I found out about from the US techs that comes in about every week and complains of symptoms consistent with testicular torsion so that he can have warm goo rubed on his scrotum by some rather attractive US techs. They are really grossed out by it.

Doesn't compare to the pelvic story though

 

[deuist]

There is a guy I found out about from the US techs that comes in about every week and complains of symptoms consistent with testicular torsion so that he can have warm goo rubed on his scrotum by some rather attractive US techs. They are really grossed out by it.

Doesn't compare to the pelvic story though

When I was a nursing assistant, we had a patient who would tell the hot nurses that he was immobile so that he could get a sponge bath from the pretty ladies. The nurses knew that he was a creep so they sent me in to give him his bath. I walked into his room with a wash basin and announced very loudly, "I'm here to give you your bath. Get undressed while I prepare the water." He was instantly cured of his inability to move.

 

[a_ditchdoc]

When I was a nursing assistant, we had a patient who would tell the hot nurses that he was immobile so that he could get a sponge bath from the pretty ladies. The nurses knew that he was a creep so they sent me in to give him his bath. I walked into his room with a wash basin and announced very loudly, "I'm here to give you your bath. Get undressed while I prepare the water." He was instantly cured of his inability to move.

I once took a shower with a chest tube in just so that the scary old "Bath lady" would stop telling me she needed to bathe me. Of course, the surgeon wasn't exactly pleased...