Scared of Cadavers/Should I pursue a medicine career?

[sbajcar]

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Hey everyone!

I think this is the right place to post this, but I'm not sure (forgive me, I'm new 😀). So let's start from the beginning.

Ever since I was a little kid, I was fascinated with human anatomy - it was so interesting to see how humans grew from the combination of two cells and form these complex systems that intertwine to form what we call ourselves. While throughout my childhood, I flip-flopped with numerous different careers, but by my 7th grade year, I decided that science was my passion, specifically, medicine. My love for anatomy ensued, and I began to watch cadaver labs on YouTube, which I thought were some of the most interesting things ever.

I should probably include my biggest fear is death. I'm terrified of the concept of dying, afterlife, infinity, dealing with the loss of loved ones, etc. Subsequently, I think I'm scared of seeing dead things as well.

My freshman Honors Biology class offered a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity - a cadaver lab at a local hospital. Of course, I became so excited and enthusiastic to finally live my dream. I promptly signed up, and before I knew it, I was in my preparation classes for the actual lab. The day before the actual lab, I noticed something odd - I was really scared. It was so unusual considering I was so excited to go forward with this lab.

Finally, the day of the lab finally came, but I was terrified. I spent the entire school day staring at the clock, worried about what was going to come in the next few hours. I packed up some Vicks Vapor Rub, some mints, and I was ready to go. The second our instructor called us into the instruction room, my heart started to race. My stomach fluttered, my brain was going a million miles a second. After a maze of hallways, the wall of formaldehyde hit me. As soon as we opened the body bag, my nerves calmed down a bit. It was a 50-60 year old woman, passed away from colon cancer that metastasized to her lungs, pancreas, and other organs. Around 45 minutes in, I felt like I was going to pass out, so I went outside with my teacher and relaxed. I was fine for the rest of the night, it was the repercussions that really affected me.

Within weeks, I noticed I was having weird nightmares. All involved autopsies, cadaver labs, but involved my parents/loved ones/etc. It was really traumatic and would often affect school. After that, I decided to see an interventionist at my school, who pretty much helped me with nothing, as she constantly said "I'll get back to you". Soon after, at a debate meet, I walked into one of my rounds to find out it was an anatomy room. However, the room had to lab prep room, so all the dissection specimens were out on the countertop by the door. This triggered a panic attack where I almost ended up passing out in the middle of the round.

At my school over the past two years, I've experienced this numerous times passing by our anatomy classroom. I try my best to steer clear of the room as much as I can. As I'm getting closer to making a college decision, I need to pick a career path, and I don't know where to go from this point on.

With all this, should I even pursue a career in medicine? I'm really worried that if I can't handle a dead body, I don't know if I'll ever be able to handle a gross anatomy class.

Thank you for reading this long post - I appreciate all the advice that you all give me.

 

[SpeedySavior]

That's a tough spot to be in. If it makes you feel any better, cadavers don't bite.
My first experience with a cadaver scarred me a little as well. The cadavers eyelids wouldn't shut. So the person assisting (not sure what they were) came by and stapled the eyelids down with a normal paper stapler. The level of disrespect got me a little sick. Then I commenced to ripping his kidney out and quickly got over it.

Anyway, I assume you're soon to be either a junior or senior in high school. Time is on your side. I'd suggest you find a research opportunity or pick a college with decent research opportunities, and take it from there. Expose yourself to your fears a little at a time. Work with lab mice. I cried the first time I killed a lab mouse. I eventually quit crying so much. Other than that, I've never heard of a medical student not working with a cadaver.

 

[Pyonium]

Most difficult things can be overcome, and getting comfortable with dead bodies is definitely a skill that is acquired over time. Maybe it would help if you thought less of the body as a 60 year old dead woman and more as lungs, a pancreas, and other organs (some of which diseased) that you are observing as a first step towards learning to heal organs with similar ailments.
Additionally I always feel more confident when I'm well prepared. I was in debate too, and in congress I always gave speeches with greater confidence if it was a topic I knew more about. Maybe learning more about anatomy would help set your mind at ease?

 

[ComputerGuy365]

You could probably choose a specialty which doesn't involve dead people so much (Family Med, Peds, OB/GYN etc.)

In your residency, you probably could overcome your fear. Maybe you should see someone?

 

[deleted480308]

Get some counseling

 

[ndafife]

You're still in high school. There is plenty of time to overcome fears before then. I'd focus on getting some counseling whether you go into medicine or not.

You could probably choose a speciality which doesn't involve dead people so much (Family Med, Peds, OB/GYN etc.)

You still have to do quite a bit of cadaver dissection before you even get to that point, which is what is causing most of OP's issues

 

[ComputerGuy365]

Get some counseling

.

 

[Mad Jack]

You get over it. Cadavers are gross and there's no way around that. I had trouble dealing with them at first, but eventually, and strangely, you just kind of become comfortable with their presence. The smell of formaldehyde was truly the worst part, and I never really got over it- some students took to wearing vapor masks, but I chose the lesser of two evils and just toughed it out because I found the masks to be too stuffy. Plus I've got a contact allergy to the stuff, so any time my skin touched it I ended up with a rash and discoloration that wouldn't go away (I've actually got some small, permanently discolored patches on my hands from where my gloves were accidentally penetrated). The long and short of it though- you can get used to anything. Blood. Cadavers. Mucus. Anything.

 

[Fatalis]

I remember my first wet lab with cadavers, it was kind of freaky but like others have stated, you get used to it. Just wait till you do head and neck lol!

 

[SpeedySavior]

You could probably choose a specialty which doesn't involve dead people so much (Family Med, Peds, OB/GYN etc.)

In your residency, you probably could overcome your fear. Maybe you should see someone?

During medical school, students will work with a cadaver, regardless of what specialty they desire to pursue. I've never heard of a med student not working with a cadaver, but it could happen.

 

[ComputerGuy365]

During medical school, students will work with a cadaver, regardless of what specialty they desire to pursue. I've never heard of a med student not working with a cadaver, but it could happen.

Yeah, but he would get used to it. Humans adapt.

 

[ndafife]

Yeah, but he would get used to it. Humans adapt.

Its going to take a lot more than "humans adapt" when someone is having traumatic nightmares and panic attacks from just being in an anatomy lab

 

[SpeedySavior]

Yeah, but he would get used to it. Humans adapt.

Point is, he can't avoid work with a cadaver. And if it causes nightmares, I think it would take a little more than adapting.

 

[deleted480308]

I'm going to tell you this, and you're probably going to be mildly offended, but I want you to trust me that I'm coming from a good place. I have two daughters, and my older daughter is your age.

What you are experiencing is teenage melodrama. Teenagers over-react to everything. You psyched yourself up prior to seeing the cadaver, and then you psyched yourself out afterwards with the dreams/counseling etc. This is what teenagers do, because none of you possess the maturity and self-awareness to say, "Wow, that wasn't fun, I don't really like being around cadavers," and then move on with your life. Everything has to "affect you deeply" and you all unconsciously have to demonstrate to everyone around you how important experiences are.

Nothing that you have described comes close to being a "panic attack." You do not have "PTSD". You do not have a problem. You just didn't like seeing a dead body for the first time. That's normal. And you will outgrow this melodramatic nonsense, just like I did and everyone else did. You are not overly sensitive, you are not affected in a deeper way than everyone else. You are normal. You are just like everyone else.

I am a surgical resident, closer to the end of my training than the beginning. I felt a little light headed and my heart was beating fast the first time I encountered a dead body. Since then, I have seen more dead bodies than I can count, both in hospitals and in war. And every time I catch sight of a dead body, my heart still beats fast and my stomach feels funny. And I do just fine in anatomy labs and the operating room.

As you finish growing up (and you're not there yet, but you're getting closer) you will learn to control your emotional reactions to situations. You will be able to maintain an outward calm and get the job done, even when you don't really like the situation. That's what makes a man, and that's what you will learn to do, not just with cadavers but with everything else in your life. You will be just fine.

I'm not telling you to pursue medicine; you'll figure that out for yourself. But do not let the memory of this teenage phase deter you as you become an adult.

I felt the same way the civil wars broke up...luckily joy williams new album is healing me

(All jokes aside, there is likely a lot of truth there)

 

[sonofva]

i thought i'd hate cadaver lab and was really worried about it (blood never bothered me, but the cadavers i was worried about). by the end of my med school anatomy class, i could be in the lab in the middle of the night by myself studying, and eating a sammy. nbd guy. just go for it!