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School, Married, and Kids

Discussion in 'Dental' started by FreshBreath, Jul 23, 2006.

  1. FreshBreath

    FreshBreath Member
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    I know many people are married (some with kids) while in school, and I was just curious to see what people did to maintain a balance. It seems difficult to be at school all week and then to have a weekend to catch up with school things and also spend time with family. Any sugggestions or advice on how to maintain a quality of life in family time? Any one with a working signifigant other while in school?
     
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  3. eapleitez

    eapleitez Senior Member
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    I'm married, and my wife is an RN. I am a little concerned about how much time i will get to spend with her. I think dental school may affect us, but I think with planning and patience we will be fine. It would be good to hear from students in this situation that can give us insight.
     
  4. hockeydentist

    hockeydentist 1K Member
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    For better or worse...
     
  5. 1992Corolla

    1992Corolla CheerioKing
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    :laugh:

    Hopefully more better than worse. Just remind your wife daily that it is a stepping stone to a better life.
     
  6. vasco

    vasco Senior Member
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    I'm married and just had my third child two days ago. Such a great time! I'm starting my 2nd year in a couple weeks. I knew when i was applying to dental school that I wouldn't be able to study enough to get straight A's. I also sat down before school started to set my priorities. So before school even started I decided that I would never study past 5 o'clock PM (except for test days) during the week and that I would never study on Sundays. I did this all year and it worked out great. I would study early in the mornings and during any break that I had at school. This gave me plenty of time to spend studying and with my family. It worked fine. So you just have to set your priorities and then follow through. Also for those with children...you need to find plenty of time to go out on dates with your wife. We found some other students in the school with children and we switch off babysitting so that we can go out on dates almost every week.
     
  7. openwyd22

    openwyd22 Member
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    I am a third year with a wife and one child. Just make sure that you both are on the same page. Your spouse must understand that it is both of you doing this dental school thing, not just you the student. You both must be committed to your success and getting through school together.

    Corolla was right. Make sure you both know this is a means to an end and to a better life.

    Advice: Work hard at school and during any free time at school. Get your priorities right as was said earlier. You will see that many of your classmates still have a lot of fun on weekends drinking, taking trips, going to ball games, etcetera and you get to spend time with your wife/husband. You will still have time to do those other things as well, just not as often. The crazy part is that because you have a spouse to keep you on the ball, you will get more done in less time and in my class, almost every married person is at the top of the class.

    Dental school is a lot of work, but there is also a lot of time away to relax and get away. I really feel like there is a lot of free time. Especially if you just want your degree. The desire to specialize requires quite a bit more time.
     
  8. Lesley

    Lesley Member
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    I got married the beginning of my senior year of dental school. It was my easiest year by far, even with boards, finishing up clinical requirements etc. Having someone to go through it with and that commitment, made it easier and really gave me a lot of balance. Being married is an advantage. Having children is too. You know why you are pursuing your profession. You are building a better life for you, your wife and children. Having a family is a built in support system. It's nice to get A's, but as my husband sometimes jokes, D is for done. Very Best Wishes, Lesley
     
  9. coral2005

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    I think it's a different story for those students who are WOMEN. Having kids during school makes it 100 times harder for women. Any women out there have kids while in school?
     
  10. Lesley

    Lesley Member
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    I waited until two years after I finished school, but I had a classmate who was pregnant her last year. She was ready to drop during the NERBS. I don't know how she made it through, but she got everything done on time.

    One of my husband's classmates had her first child, sophomore year another one senior year and went straight on to either pedo or ortho program.

    I don't know how she did it either. But this is what they wanted and they managed to get it all done.
     
  11. Khurram

    Khurram Senior Member
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    I just got married 3 months ago as well..and was scared that starting at nyu would be difficult...
    i'm starting next monday, so it's good to hear words of encouragement that you can still manage both things by prioritizing and planning...i'm not one that needs to get straigt a's...so HOPEFULLY i'll manage...

    I just wish someone would let me know what nyu's d2 schedule is like before classes start so I have an idea...any takers?
     
  12. Lesley

    Lesley Member
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    Congratulations! You look very cute together!

    Good luck at NYU! Lesley
     
  13. FreshBreath

    FreshBreath Member
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    My wife happens to be and RN too, which is nice becuase she can pretty much get a job where ever I am, and in most cases have an option of multiple hospitals. Plus she can manipulat eher schedule to suit mine. She works on the weekends and I stay home with our daughter, and Monday through Friday she is at home while I am at school. It is not easy but we manage to try to make it work.
     
  14. Khurram

    Khurram Senior Member
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    Thanks!
     
  15. mia culpa

    mia culpa Junior Member
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    Congratulations on your new baby!
    How exciting...lots of good luck!
     
  16. mia culpa

    mia culpa Junior Member
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    Yes indeed, they are more attached to the mom, and required lots of attention. But I am sure we can do it, heads up hot dental momies! :)
     
  17. Dr IWannaBe

    Dr IWannaBe Class of 2012
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    ABSOLUTELY beautiful!!!!!!!!!!
     
  18. Gulch

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    Thanks for your post. I'm getting married august 4th and starting UMSOD on the 21st. Very excited, a little nervous and staying the course. Consistent date nights sound like a VERY good idea. :)
     
  19. bpenly

    bpenly Senior Member
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    I disagree. My daughter is really attached to me. I did stay home with her for the past year though and it will likely be very hard on her (and me) when I start this fall. I think that kids get attached to whomever spends a substantial amount of time with them.
     
  20. PERFECT3435

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    im married and have a 6 year old daughter. its all good, but it could get rough once you start your 2nd year. you are never home, always busy, always stressed. the good news is that its only one year of that.

    good luck
     
  21. anamod

    anamod Senior Member
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    It's easily doable I just graduated and my wife is a 4th year dental student we have a 7 year old and one on the way. We also both worked on the weekends through out dental school. Just suck it up and do it.
     
  22. UtahDad

    UtahDad Member
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    Hey...It looks like you possibly served a mission down in Brazil (I am guessing due to your Vasco Flag. Anyway, I have 3 sons and greatly appreciate your thoughts as I am applying to Dental School this year. It is good to know that it is possible to succeed with kids. My Grandpa did it with 5 kids and working, but I know times have changed. Anyway, best of luck in your work as a Dentist.
     
  23. I'mFillingFine

    I'mFillingFine Pulptastic
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    Any more women out there who have actually given birth during dental school? (Or are they too busy to be posting on SDN!!). I just couldn't see how that'd be possible, and greatly admire people willing to prioritize and make it work.

    Speaking of "making it work", what exactly does everyone mean by that? I think we're asking for specific outcomes of how you put 4 days worth of life into 24 hours?
     
  24. I'mFillingFine

    I'mFillingFine Pulptastic
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  25. Dadoh

    Dadoh Member
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    vasco has some good advice. I am starting my third year and just had my third kid. In my class there are 3 maybe more female classmates that are pregnant and there are 4 wives having babies. One female student had one during the first year as well and she did fine. My philosphy is that it is difficult on the family at least for the first two years or at my school the first year, but you just have to hold your breath and get through it. It will pay off afterward when you are done. You will be in a position where a couple years of sacrifice will make it possible for you to focus more on your family for the rest of life. Just keep that in mind as you suffer through the first couple years or you are studying for boards. :thumbup:
     
  26. jpollei

    jpollei Senior Member
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    Just be on the same page as your wife (and kids if they are old enough to understand). We had something in the drinking water here while I was in dental school because literally dozens of babies were born to people in my class...especially during 3rd and 4th year. Just make sure you know what your priorities are (cause they are different for every porson), and stick to them. Also, realize that though dental school is important, your job is not as important as being a good husband/father (or wife/mother if that's the case). Just have fun. My wife and I look at our four years of dental school with fondness...enough that we're going to endure three more in a residency. :)
     
  27. Sommy

    Sommy Junior Member
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    Your wife and you will both be in residencies? How many of the dozens were born to FEMALE dental students? Just curious. Thanks.
     
  28. jpollei

    jpollei Senior Member
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    Uh, no. To be honest, I think my wife's choice to be a stay-at-home mother resulted in something much more demanding physically, emotionally, and mentally than anything I went through as a dental student. And I'm only making that comparison based on my worst days in school compared to the times I was home with the kids while my wife was out. Man, they would wear me out after a regular day!
    And no babies for any ladies in my class (though some in previous and subsequent classes did have them...usually in 3rd or 4th year).
    Ultimately, for any woman who is able to feel like a good mom and feel satisfied with how she does in dental school at the same time, my hat is off to that person. That's some serious juggling. :)
     
  29. WVUdental

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    I can tell you right now that this is a lie!

    There will be several nights where you will be in the lab with your classmates and you will be lucky to even get home by 8 or 9.

    Even if school is over at 5 and you dont study (which I dont recommend b/c you will fail!) you wouldnt get home until 5:30 or 6.
     
  30. jpollei

    jpollei Senior Member
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    Um, for the record I was done most nights when school ended at 5pm--especially after the first two semesters--and I did fine (top 5%, 95 NBDE1, ortho). Of course, we didn't have to do all our lab work for patients, and I worked quick in class. But what vasco said is totally within the realm of possibility, depending on the rigor of the requirements your d-school imposes on you. My whole take was that if you take time for other things in life--in my case my wife and daughters--you aren't getting dental school burn out and can approach it fresh each day instead of being hung over from the previous day.
     
  31. WVUdental

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    I am sorry but I am going to call you on your blatant lies!

    There is no way in hell you can sit in class from 8 until 5 pm taking notes and being assigned homework and not go home and read for 3 hours and work on assignments.

    you are basically saying that you did nothing after 5 which is totally impossible.

    This is dental school not HIGH SCHOOL.

    We don't even cover all the material in class from 8 to 5 and even if we did I would have to go home and study it.

    Normally, tests are 8 chapters long. There is no way to study for something like that the night before, especially when you have 4 tests the next day.
     
  32. jpollei

    jpollei Senior Member
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    Call me all you want...I can give you the name of dozens of people in my class who will attest to what I posted. Technically my day was 7-5 since I spent an hour studying before classes in a small group, as well as the hinted at occasional evening during first year. Some of us are visual learners and really do remember 90% of the material from a lecture the first time it's given. I'm not trying to tick you off or disagree with you, just sharing my experience. I'm sure you understand and respect that...you seem to have no problem sharing the same.

    Sounds more like an issue of very different learning environments here at UNC and where you are at (I presume WVU). My mom works for a dentist who graduated from WVU in 2001 and he talks about how bad it sucked for him, too, compared to what my experience was.

    Just for the record, I did better in dental school than in high school or undergrad...so I realize well that this isn't high school. Speaking only for myself, I wasn't focused back then; I was during dental school.
     
  33. WVUdental

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    MAybe I should have went to UNC. I am from Charlotte NC and interviewed at UNC but WVU has such a strong reputation as an excellent dental school and with the fact that they just dumped $6 million into new dental facilities I decided to go north. I know I may regret the decision when it starts snowing this winter.
     
  34. tom_servo_dds

    tom_servo_dds Senior Member
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    This is the truth...
     
  35. tom_servo_dds

    tom_servo_dds Senior Member
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    And I'm sure you'll enjoy those too! :)
     
  36. WVUdental

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    ok man if you say so.

    Hell maybe I should have went to Chapel Hill. I interviewed there and just wasn't impressed.

    Maybe I just had bad people that day.
     
  37. InMyCrossHairs

    InMyCrossHairs #1 GUNNER
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    I call total BS on your post. One of my good friends went to WVU, and he graduated in 18 months. He said it was more of a VO-TECH school. He said all you had to do was learn to make full mouth dentures for all those edentulous hillbillies in the sticks. If you study like you say you do, you must be very intelectually challenged.
     
  38. WVUdental

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    he graduated in 18 months?


    hahahahahahhaahhahaahah

    Vo-tech? :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
     
  39. jpollei

    jpollei Senior Member
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    Come on now, no need to be demeaning...
     
  40. Tarheel

    Tarheel Member
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    Of course, he always fails to mention that the semester he turned it all around in college was when he met me. I carried him the rest the way through college. Then I carried him through dental school. If I can succesfully drag him through ortho residency now I think I will finally be able get rid of him. ;)
     
  41. jpollei

    jpollei Senior Member
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    Lucky you met me or you'd be stuck in a proctology or ob residency right now. :) If "drag him through residency" means you do all the readings and give me the summaries, I do believe you have yourself a deal!
     
  42. tom_servo_dds

    tom_servo_dds Senior Member
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    I don't know, them proctologists are pretty funny people. Ever seen that Seinfeld eps. about proctologists? Hilarious!
     

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