Secondaries question

[Jaigantic]

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HYPOTHETICALLY, what would be the ramifications of talking about having knowledge of illegal activities going on in one's household. To give a more specific example, say one's family member (we'll call him Steve) is heavily involved with dealing drugs and is even addicted himself and Steve was never reported by the other family members despite everyone knowing about his drug affiliation. Steve has done a huge amount of harm both to his family but also to his community and society as a whole but it is obviously quite difficult to turn in a member of your own family to the police despite the severity of their actions.

To add to the example, the family has tried every possible tactic to get Steve to stop dealing and he has even been forcibly sent to rehab by police as he tried to physically harm himself and his family. Despite this, he soon reverted to his old ways after being released and the situation had only gotten worse for everyone. Over half a year later, Steve realized that his future was ruined by all that he had done and was convinced (almost forced) to seek professional help by being sent to an overseas country-where a relative lived- by his family so that he could escape the triggers and influences that caused him to continue this awful way of life. He is also now part of a rehab program in that country.

If one were to write about such a case, would an adcom question the integrity of the applicant who didn't report their family member to the police despite knowing about what they were doing and the harm they were causing others, especially considering the long time frame that they knew about it? Or would they accept that personally sending your own family member to prison is easier said than done? Also, if it is acceptable to write about such a deeply impacting and transformative struggle, how should the applicant present this case?

Any and all advice is much appreciated.

 

[mistafab]

I have got to say OP that my heart goes out to you. Drugs and addiction brings some of the toughest moments in our american life, and brings lots of pain to many american families. I hope that your family member does better and that your family is able to heal after this devastating wound.

To answer your question - this is a very difficult topic and may be hard to swallow. The way you write it has something to do with this as well. I'd say that this very personal description is making it seem too much like an essay about your sibling and not enough of an essay about you. Is the topic taboo? Not necessarily. However, you wrote it too descriptive and did not talk about your feelings, how this impacted you, and how you changed or grew from this.

You might be able to write about it if you start this as "A member of our family struggled with drugs and addiction" and ended your discussion of your family member then and there. Then you might be able to talk about how you learned that addiction acts like a disease and how it affected your family as a unit and made you yada yada yada or something like that. Do you get what I am trying to say? The adversity essay isn't just what the adversity was - it is how you grew and what you learned and how it shaped you.

Anyway, best of luck - to you and your family member.

 

[CommyO]

I have got to say OP that my heart goes out to you. Drugs and addiction brings some of the toughest moments in our american life, and brings lots of pain to many american families. I hope that your family member does better and that your family is able to heal after this devastating wound.

Out of curiosity, why did you feel the need to make this issue 'American' when addiction is a global tragic phenomenon?

 

[mistafab]

Because I live in the United States, am training to treat people in the United States, and will die in the United States.

United States is all I know. United States is all I talk about.

Out of curiosity, why did you feel the need to make this issue 'American' when addiction is a global tragic phenomenon?

 

[Jaigantic]

I have got to say OP that my heart goes out to you. Drugs and addiction brings some of the toughest moments in our american life, and brings lots of pain to many american families. I hope that your family member does better and that your family is able to heal after this devastating wound.

To answer your question - this is a very difficult topic and may be hard to swallow. The way you write it has something to do with this as well. I'd say that this very personal description is making it seem too much like an essay about your sibling and not enough of an essay about you. Is the topic taboo? Not necessarily. However, you wrote it too descriptive and did not talk about your feelings, how this impacted you, and how you changed or grew from this.

You might be able to write about it if you start this as "A member of our family struggled with drugs and addiction" and ended your discussion of your family member then and there. Then you might be able to talk about how you learned that addiction acts like a disease and how it affected your family as a unit and made you yada yada yada or something like that. Do you get what I am trying to say? The adversity essay isn't just what the adversity was - it is how you grew and what you learned and how it shaped you.

Anyway, best of luck - to you and your family member.

Appreciate your help. You definitely raise a good point. Without a doubt, if I were to write about such a topic I would focus on how it affected me, how my family coped, and how I learned that not everything is so black and white when it comes to situations and that empathy is needed to fix such a problem instead of anger or vilification.

The reason I went into such detail about Steve is because I want to know if this specific situation is something frowned upon, especially given that the drug dependent family member wasn't turned in or anything like that.

 

[CommyO]

Because I live in the United States, am training to treat people in the United States, and will die in the United States.

United States is all I know. United States is all I talk about.

Fair enough. Do you like your morning coffee with a shot of America?

 

[ChymeofPassion]

Out of curiosity, why did you feel the need to make this issue 'American' when addiction is a global tragic phenomenon?

College students in 2017

 

[mistafab]

Okay cool. Just remember that you have no requirement or need to go into details about this family member unless that is something you are impelled to do. You can talk about how this affected you and your family without giving any details. Anyway - make sure to get someone to read this second hand, preferably a doctor mentor, to make sure it doesn't come off wrong before you submit it. Focus minimally on your family member and focus maximally on your introspective reflections and how you learned that despite this person's negative behavior, this was still your loved one and you blah blah blah.

So again, no need to bring up what you guys did with your family member. No need to talk about if you turned them in or sent them off to rehab or anything. No need at all to talk about it unless that is what you want to bring up. The options are all yours.

Best of luck.

Appreciate your help. You definitely raise a good point. Without a doubt, if I were to write about such a topic I would focus on how it affected me, how my family coped, and how I learned that not everything is so black and white when it comes to situations and that empathy is needed to fix such a problem instead of anger or vilification.

The reason I went into such detail about Steve is because I want to know if this specific situation is something frowned upon, especially given that the drug dependent family member wasn't turned in or anything like that.

And yes, I do.

Fair enough. Do you like your morning coffee with a shot of America?

 

[Jaigantic]

Does anyone else have any input they can offer? I'd love to hear what everyone has to say about this.

@gyngyn @Goro @gonnif @LizzyM could you guys offer some guidance?

 

[bearded frog]

The point of the essay is you, not the family member, so frame it around you dealing with a family member that struggles with addiction (a common health related issue), and had run-ins with the law. You don't have to be specific. You can talk about your own personal struggle of how best to help your family member, any repercussions it had on you and your family in general growing up and getting an education, and your internal conflict if turning them into the justice system would be best for them, or considering other options, like overseas rehab. Make sure you bring it back to you and how it affected you and your character and will contribute to your medical practice.

 

[Jaigantic]

The point of the essay is you, not the family member, so frame it around you dealing with a family member that struggles with addiction (a common health related issue), and had run-ins with the law. You don't have to be specific. You can talk about your own personal struggle of how best to help your family member, any repercussions it had on you and your family in general growing up and getting an education, and your internal conflict if turning them into the justice system would be best for them, or considering other options, like overseas rehab. Make sure you bring it back to you and how it affected you and your character and will contribute to your medical practice.

Thank you. I think I would go into a little bit of detail about my brother to give a clearer understanding of the situation and then talk about how that affected my family, how we coped with it, and how it changed us (i.e. we realized we had to be more empathetic towards him to make him receptive to our attempts to get him to stop).

Appreciate the help.

 

[Professional Student]

What happens when Bill (your hypothetical best friend in the world from med school and residency, and is now employed as a fellow surgeon attending) develops the same addiction as Steve but is also performing surgeries and making medical decisions during his addiction? Can you write the story about Steve without scaring adcoms into thinking you might also not report a physician who is your best friend? This is a common enough scenario that it is even frequently asked during interviews and MMIs. I have no idea if that's the interpretation an adcom would take, but it's something to think about.

 

[Jaigantic]

What happens when Bill (your hypothetical best friend in the world from med school and residency, and is now employed as a fellow surgeon attending) develops the same addiction as Steve but is also performing surgeries and making medical decisions during his addiction? Can you write the story about Steve without scaring adcoms into thinking you might also not report a physician who is your best friend? This is a common enough scenario that it is even frequently asked during interviews and MMIs. I have no idea if that's the interpretation an adcom would take, but it's something to think about.

You raise a good point but I think it's a difficult comparison to make when comparing your brother vs. your friend who is in charge of the lives of other human beings.

That being said, it is definitely a hard decision to make when you know Steve is harming others through his dealing. I think focusing on how I coped with Steve's habits and how we tried to get him on the right path would be toeing a safe line.

 

[Goro]

Just keep it more generic about how you had to deal with a family member with a drug abuse issue. Your moral choices (or lack of choices) aren't the thing that's cool about you.

HYPOTHETICALLY, what would be the ramifications of talking about having knowledge of illegal activities going on in one's household. To give a more specific example, say one's family member (we'll call him Steve) is heavily involved with dealing drugs and is even addicted himself and Steve was never reported by the other family members despite everyone knowing about his drug affiliation. Steve has done a huge amount of harm both to his family but also to his community and society as a whole but it is obviously quite difficult to turn in a member of your own family to the police despite the severity of their actions.

To add to the example, the family has tried every possible tactic to get Steve to stop dealing and he has even been forcibly sent to rehab by police as he tried to physically harm himself and his family. Despite this, he soon reverted to his old ways after being released and the situation had only gotten worse for everyone. Over half a year later, Steve realized that his future was ruined by all that he had done and was convinced (almost forced) to seek professional help by being sent to an overseas country-where a relative lived- by his family so that he could escape the triggers and influences that caused him to continue this awful way of life. He is also now part of a rehab program in that country.

If one were to write about such a case, would an adcom question the integrity of the applicant who didn't report their family member to the police despite knowing about what they were doing and the harm they were causing others, especially considering the long time frame that they knew about it? Or would they accept that personally sending your own family member to prison is easier said than done? Also, if it is acceptable to write about such a deeply impacting and transformative struggle, how should the applicant present this case?

Any and all advice is much appreciated.