Jul 3, 2015
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Hi folks,
I am completing a secondary application for one particular allopathic school, and among the essays that I need to write is one regarding a hardship that I have faced, and how I overcame it.
I have already written several versions of this essay for various other schools, but for this one essay, I want to write about an experience I had with romantic rejection and the subsequent dissolution of a friendship, and how I learned the values of forgiving and mindfulness from it.

I know they want to hear about a personal obstacle, and for me this experience really shook my world for a couple of months. I just don't know if it is something that I should write about in a professional setting. I also do not know if it is ethical to write about such things without her consent.
Any advice ? And please be serious, I don't want any Bee-Gees or Billy Joel lyrics about mending broken hearts.

-Horsey
 
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IlDestriero

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If the biggest hardship that you had to overcome was a romantic rejection and getting friend-zoned, you make my "There were no rooms at the Four Seasons so I had to stay at the Ritz Carlton" sound profound.
Because when life hands you lemons, you make lemonade, and the bar at the Ritz Carlton Dorado Beach makes a mighty fine lemonade.
 
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LuluLovesMe

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One time I got a papercut and didn't have a bandaid for it and it stung. :(
 
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You don't need her consent to write about being rejected you enormous pansy. No wonder you got rejected.

Jesus i'm getting secondhand embarrassment just imagining how this would be written.
 
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DokterMom

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Appears to be a minefield, so probably not the best topic. Especially if the situation was along the lines of "Joe and I both liked the same girl. I liked her first/more. She picked Joe." However if it was more along the lines of "Jane and I were in a serious relationship for several years and had been discussing marriage. Then I found out she had been unfaithful with my best friend Joe." Well - that has a bit more gravitas.

But as you can see from the posters above, it has the potential to paint you as a chump...
 
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AlfonsTheGuru

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Please use common sense to determine what would be appropriate for this secondary. Romantic rejection is not appropriate.
 

gonnif

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I will play devils advocate on this and say this may be a good subject. The question is how you focus and explain what you learned from this. The content of breaking up is just the action and that in itself is not important. The emotional growth from immature pain to the maturity of dealing with someone on a different level later on is a lesson. As in all these essays, I tell people to try writing it. You may find it doesnt work well in an confined essay. Or you find a zone that it says what you want to and it feels write. These are the kind of essays where "Rule 2: Trust Your Gut" applies.
 

gonnif

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Please use common sense to determine what would be appropriate for this secondary. Romantic rejection is not appropriate.
The rejection isnt the issue, that is simply the catalyst. The growth from it is what will matter to an adcom.
 
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AlfonsTheGuru

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The rejection isnt the issue, that is simply the catalyst. The growth from it is what will matter to an adcom.
I may actually agree with you. I believe this could be a good topic if these two had a previous relationship as friends, close friends. If this was a woman he had barely known, then I would suggest he doesn't write about this.

Even so, I would choose this topic as a last resort.
 

DokterMom

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I will play devils advocate on this and say this may be a good subject. The question is how you focus and explain what you learned from this. The content of breaking up is just the action and that in itself is not important. The emotional growth from immature pain to the maturity of dealing with someone on a different level later on is a lesson. As in all these essays, I tell people to try writing it. You may find it doesnt work well in an confined essay. Or you find a zone that it says what you want to and it feels write. These are the kind of essays where "Rule 2: Trust Your Gut" applies.
Agree with the bolded especially -- Try writing it in plain English first and see how it flows and sounds. You'll know --
 

Goro

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I agree with my learned colleague gnnif on this one.

Also, this isn't a HIPAA issue; it's OK to write about with out consent. I trust you're not going to name names, though.


Hi folks,
I am completing a secondary application for one particular allopathic school, and among the essays that I need to write is one regarding a hardship that I have faced, and how I overcame it.
I have already written several versions of this essay for various other schools, but for this one essay, I want to write about an experience I had with romantic rejection and the subsequent dissolution of a friendship, and how I learned the values of forgiving and mindfulness from it.

I know they want to hear about a personal obstacle, and for me this experience really shook my world for a couple of months. I just don't know if it is something that I should write about in a professional setting. I also do not know if it is ethical to write about such things without her consent.
Any advice ? And please be serious, I don't want any Bee-Gees or Billy Joel lyrics about mending broken hearts.

-Horsey
 

Doug Underhill

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I'm going with LizzyM over Goro and gonnif on this one. Don't write about getting "friend-zoned" for hardships. This assay could be a huge negative and an app-killer. It's OK to write one bland secondary assay as long as your stats and ECs are impressive.

Have you ever had a personal obstacle? A serious illness, the loss of a beloved family member or pet, difficulty with a certain subject as a child, etc.
 
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I find it hard to imagine adcoms reading this essay without rolling their eyes.