Its not so much that they're laughing at you, kt.charlong, but that we're right in the middle of the process and we all come on SDN to vent and find people that understand how we're feeling just now. When someone like you comes around, it makes us realise that we're just jaded twenty-somethings who are READY to be doctors NOW!
As for your questions, I think you'd be served well to go to a bookstore like Barnes & Noble or whatever you have in Canada and just look up the process. When you come onto these boards, you'll find lots of supportive people that will try and help out, but you'll also find lots of stressed out college students and professionals that will assume you to have the knowledge that you're starting threads to find. I'm not saying that you won't get some solid advice here, but it just seems that if you have a rough idea of what to expect from the process (ie university, MCAT, application, secondaries, interviews, etc.) its easier to form more directed questions and this forum can be much more useful to you.
As everyone knows, I can go on forever about anything, so PM me or IM me if you want to have a chat about this.
Cheers,
DrYo