Sex With Preceptor...

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DrGERD

DrGERD

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I am in a very awkward position. I was at lunch with my OB/Gyn preceptor discussing him writing a LOR for residency. I've been attracted to him for a while, and during this exchange I discovered he returned this sentiment when he asked me to go to a Thai restaurant with him yesterday. Afterwards, we both got very drunk and had sex on his boat. :eek::oops:

I am not complaining at all, and am actually really excited, but I was wondering if anyone has been in this (or similar) position before? He's expressed lack of faith in the institution of marriage given his previous experience with it. I'm completely OK with this but is this situation inherently unethical? I've always been a proponent of following your gut and trusting your feelings...

I'm a 27 y/o single 4th year student and he is a divorced 37 y/o attending out of residency for about 7 years and faculty at a residency program I am interviewing for next week. He has one child from his previous marriage that I have yet to meet. Curious if this type of situation has presented itself to anyone else on here or if anyone has heard of similar situation by way of hearsay? Thanks.
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I think the fact that you're getting a LOR from him makes this pretty unprofessional/unethical.

Also, possibly calling BS (why are you meeting with him for a LOR when you're interviewing at his institution next week?).

popcorn_yes.gif
 
DrGERD said:
I am in a very awkward position. I was at lunch with my OB/Gyn preceptor discussing him writing a LOR for residency. I've been attracted to him for a while, and during this exchange I discovered he returned this sentiment when he asked me to go to a Thai restaurant with him yesterday. Afterwards, we both got very drunk and had sex on his boat. :eek::oops:

I am not complaining at all, and am actually really excited, but I was wondering if anyone has been in this (or similar) position before? He's expressed lack of faith in the institution of marriage given his previous experience with it. I'm completely OK with this but is this situation inherently unethical? I've always been a proponent of following your gut and trusting your feelings...

I'm a 27 y/o single 4th year student and he is a divorced 37 y/o attending out of residency for about 7 years and faculty at a residency program I am interviewing for next week. He has one child from his previous marriage that I have yet to meet. Curious if this type of situation has presented itself to anyone else on here or if anyone has heard of similar situation by way of hearsay? Thanks.
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Surely nothing can go wrong here. Go for it, OP!
 
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Depends on how good you were in bed. If you are sure about your performance then get the LOR.
 
VisionaryTics said:
I think the fact that you're getting a LOR from him makes this pretty unprofessional/unethical.

Also, possibly calling BS (why are you meeting with him for a LOR when you're interviewing at his institution next week?).

popcorn_yes.gif
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He offered to write one as a member of the department I would be part of if I'm accepted. Last minute but w/e. Why is it unprofessional/unethical? We didn't have sex in a hospital bed or anything...Doctors are people too...
 
God I hope he posts on these forums.

If he doesn't, I'm sure someone in the department, or someone that knows him, does.
 
I don't think he knows about SDN. You think I should delete the thread?
 
Man my preceptor gave me a terrible LOR after I slept with him.
 
This thread is 100% BS. Trolls are getting lazier and lazier these days...

back-in-the-days-trolling-meant-something.jpg
 
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I don't appreciate the snide remarks, I posted on here for honest advice/help. I'm disgusted that some of you are going to be physicians, seriously WTF? I've received some PMs from people who shall remain nameless that have been genuinely helpful, mostly letting me know I'm not alone in this.
 
Compassion >> Integrity.

okay whatever. did you at least get honors?

P.S. - Maybe there's a reason those folks PM'ed you instead of posting here.
 
DrGERD said:
I don't appreciate the snide remarks, I posted on here for honest advice/help. I'm disgusted that some of you are going to be physicians, seriously WTF? I've received some PMs from people who shall remain nameless that have been genuinely helpful, mostly letting me know I'm not alone in this.
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Seriously, you're a bad troll. Get a new hobby.
 
I am just jealous. I don't understand why stuff like this doesn't happen to me.
 
^^ Aim lower.


NOTE: Likely a b.s. troll thread. Premed female students who become med students are the most boring/uptight species of women out there.
 
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DrGERD said:
I don't appreciate the snide remarks, I posted on here for honest advice/help. I'm disgusted that some of you are going to be physicians, seriously WTF? I've received some PMs from people who shall remain nameless that have been genuinely helpful, mostly letting me know I'm not alone in this.
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:rolleyes:
 
I'll assume this is legit.
DrGERD said:
He's expressed lack of faith in the institution of marriage given his previous experience with it.
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If he's already telling you that after just one date, I think the odds are that you were a booty call and he has no intention of making this into a serious relationship. Don't worry about meeting his kid or hoping he changes his mind about marriage. Dude probably does this all the time with attractive med students.

Personally, if I were you, I'd probably rank his residency program last to avoid the extreme awkwardness that could occur if you have to interact with him professionally (especially if any of the other residents at the program find out). If you're still determined to try to go to his program, I think you should disclose that you have a romantic history with him to avoid ever being evaluated by him.
 
DrGERD said:
I don't appreciate the snide remarks, I posted on here for honest advice/help. I'm disgusted that some of you are going to be physicians, seriously WTF? I've received some PMs from people who shall remain nameless that have been genuinely helpful, mostly letting me know I'm not alone in this.
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+_9400479ba11ff84512f5970a4c4c82d4.jpg
 
You know how folks always complain about those so called fluff classes..... stuff like this is why you have to take them.:p

(although I call BS as well)
 
I call BS on the fact that an ob/gyn has enough money left over after malpractice costs to own a boat :laugh: or the fact that marriage came up immediately after a one-night stand.
 
Boats and Hoes. Great combo!

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o8T095mFdW8[/YOUTUBE]
 
Was he actually that attractive? Or was it the beer goggles effect :scared:
 
Ok on the slim chance that this is real.

This is the classic "abuse of power" scenario. The fact that he took you out after you asked for a LOR, then got you drunk and and performed a fantastically thorough pelvic exam with his dong, pretty much means that he is fired if anyone finds out.

Also, guys who want to have long term serious relationships with girls generally don't a) bone them on the first date and then b) talk about how they aren't into serious relationships.

But seriously, you are holding this guys career in your hand.
 
seelee said:
Ok on the slim chance that this is real.

This is the classic "abuse of power" scenario. The fact that he took you out after you asked for a LOR, then got you drunk and and performed a fantastically thorough pelvic exam with his dong, pretty much means that he is fired if anyone finds out.

Also, guys who want to have long term serious relationships with girls generally don't a) bone them on the first date and then b) talk about how they aren't into serious relationships.

But seriously, you are holding this guys career in your hand.
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:laugh::laugh::laugh:
 
seelee said:
Ok on the slim chance that this is real.

This is the classic "abuse of power" scenario. The fact that he took you out after you asked for a LOR, then got you drunk and and performed a fantastically thorough pelvic exam with his dong, pretty much means that he is fired if anyone finds out.

Also, guys who want to have long term serious relationships with girls generally don't a) bone them on the first date and then b) talk about how they aren't into serious relationships.

But seriously, you are holding this guys career in your hand.
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Yup she was a passive helpless damsel in distress with this whole thing and the guy is the one responsible. He also forced liquor down her throat among other things.
 
sylvanthus said:
Yup she was a passive helpless damsel in distress with this whole thing and the guy is the one responsible. He also forced liquor down her throat among other things.
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He may not have "forced" liquor down her throat or "forced" her to have sex with him, but it could be argued that he coerced her. The power relationship here is undeniably skewed, considering that he is her superior and will be responsible for evaluating her/writing a letter of recommendation. No matter how you look at it, there's going to be some sense of "if I don't do what he wants me to do, he will not write me a favorable letter," even if he never explicitly made such a threat, and even if he had no intention of using the LOR as leverage.
 
I never said that the OP was guiltless. It doesn't change the fact that if this gets out the attending is screwed.
 
yuiness said:
He may not have "forced" liquor down her throat or "forced" her to have sex with him, but it could be argued that he coerced her. The power relationship here is undeniably skewed, considering that he is her superior and will be responsible for evaluating her/writing a letter of recommendation. No matter how you look at it, there's going to be some sense of "if I don't do what he wants me to do, he will not write me a favorable letter," even if he never explicitly made such a threat, and even if he had no intention of using the LOR as leverage.
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This. You don't have sex with a student. Period. You especially don't if you are evaluating her and writing a letter. The guy ****ed up. Hope that sex was worth it.
 
This is why you have one night stands with people you'll never see again(clubs, online flings). With people you go to school or work with, it'll look bad, paint you as a loose goose, and create awkward moments in work life D:

Unless you and the one time banger never speak of it.
 
yuiness said:
He may not have "forced" liquor down her throat or "forced" her to have sex with him, but it could be argued that he coerced her. The power relationship here is undeniably skewed, considering that he is her superior and will be responsible for evaluating her/writing a letter of recommendation. No matter how you look at it, there's going to be some sense of "if I don't do what he wants me to do, he will not write me a favorable letter," even if he never explicitly made such a threat, and even if he had no intention of using the LOR as leverage.
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Im sorry thats just too pathetic for me to comprehend. A person so weak willed they will spread their legs for a freakin LOR? Really? It was not coersion she stated in her OP she was attracted to him. She wanted to get laid and also likely thought by sleeping wih him shed get ahead. The fault rests with her as muchas with him period.
 
sylvanthus said:
Im sorry thats just too pathetic for me to comprehend. A person so weak willed they will spread their legs for a freakin LOR? Really? It was not coersion she stated in her OP she was attracted to him. She wanted to get laid and also likely thought by sleeping wih him shed get ahead. The fault rests with her as muchas with him period.
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You're missing the point. She could have seduced him, ripped his clothes off, handcuffed him, spanked him, then rode him til morning, if he was a willing participant, he'll be screwed. I'm pretty sure most med schools have a clause against preceptors sleeping with students. His reputation will be torched.
 
pipe dream said:
You're missing the point. She could have seduced him, ripped his clothes off, handcuffed him, spanked him, then rode him til morning, if he was a willing participant, he'll be screwed. I'm pretty sure most med schools have a clause against preceptors sleeping with students. His reputation will be torched.
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At my med school we had a few attendings impregnate fourth year medical students. Not terribly that uncommon.
 
Usually I don't post on allo forums, but a question... how do med students, assuming OP is one and not an imposter, find the time to troll?
 
SeekerOfTheTree said:
At my med school we had a few attendings impregnate fourth year medical students. Not terribly that uncommon.
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Did they ever figure out which attending went with which baby? I know those Eyes Wide Shut soirees can get awfully confusing.
 
sylvanthus said:
Im sorry thats just too pathetic for me to comprehend. A person so weak willed they will spread their legs for a freakin LOR? Really? It was not coersion she stated in her OP she was attracted to him. She wanted to get laid and also likely thought by sleeping wih him shed get ahead. The fault rests with her as muchas with him period.
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Your profile says med student. Have you not had an ethics/professionalism lecture? This scenario is pretty cut and dry. The fact that he was in a position of power over her is key. Even though she consented, if she went after him he wouldn't have a case.
 
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