Should I mention my Family in my Interviews?

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FizbanZymogen

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Hello all,

I have heard through the grapevine (others who have gone before) that mentioning that I am 25 with a wife and two young sons (one is 2 and the other is 7 months) in the interview can open a can of worms and possibly hurt my interview (even though this information will be present on my application). While I am proud of my 3.72 while working and being a family guy I am just wondering what experience others have had in my situation with interviews, bias etc. Any help would be great. Thanks and happy holidays!

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FizbanZymogen said:
Hello all,

I have heard through the grapevine (others who have gone before) that mentioning that I am 25 with a wife and two young sons (one is 2 and the other is 7 months) in the interview can open a can of worms and possibly hurt my interview (even though this information will be present on my application). While I am proud of my 3.72 while working and being a family guy I am just wondering what experience others have had in my situation with interviews, bias etc. Any help would be great. Thanks and happy holidays!

Interviewers and adcoms have all your demographics. A wife and child are kinda hard to hide, unless you didn't tell them. They know you're married and they are likely to bring it up during the interview. They are looking to see that you and your spouse understand what you will be getting into, and that you BOTH are commited to making it happen. If they see you have a plan, and you both have discussed the difficulties you will face as a family this will be seen as a positive. Schools loose people for the difficulties med school can bring to a family and, of course, the schools want to prevent that by knowing they choose a stable family person. Only you are the one that can convince them that your family is stable and solid, and you convince them at your interview. That is your only shot.

For most of my interview with one particular interviewer, who also has children my daughters age, he was talking more about my responsibility as a husband and father than he talked about my academic history (There was no real need to talk about my numbers, he had them in front of his face.) I had answers for all of this because my wife and I talk. He was satsified with what I had to say, and then he told me at the conclusion of my interview that he would support my application for admission when the admissions committee met. The rest is history. I am an MS I now, and my family has been truckin right along with me these past 5 months.

Just go in to your interview already having discussed this with your wife and you will be fine.
 
FizbanZymogen said:
Hello all,

I have heard through the grapevine (others who have gone before) that mentioning that I am 25 with a wife and two young sons (one is 2 and the other is 7 months) in the interview can open a can of worms and possibly hurt my interview (even though this information will be present on my application). While I am proud of my 3.72 while working and being a family guy I am just wondering what experience others have had in my situation with interviews, bias etc. Any help would be great. Thanks and happy holidays!

I agree totally with Static Line. I've had two interviews (one waitlisted and one acceptance) and in the first I was asked at point blank how I was going to manage the rigors of medical school and still have some semblance of a family. I answered without missing a beat -- not because I had rehearsed, but because my wife and I had spent the last three years figuring it out. In the second interview, I brought it up. I am 32 and have 3 small children (1, 3, and 5). The topic did not hurt my interviews at all. Sometimes I cannot even comprehend how things have worked out, but by the grace of God I am starting medical school this fall. Just be honest and confident in your abilities to manage your duties as a medical student and your responsibilities to your wife and children and it shouldn't be a factor. And if it is, it is, yet you presented yourself for who you are, not who you think they are looking for.
 
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Thanks,

My wife and I have a great relationship as we both support eachother 110% This certainly shows in the many facets of our lives (its hard to hide a bad relationship. Usually something is revealed whether spoken or unspoken). As for being confident in my abilities to handle school and maintain a strong family I know it will be challenging. To say otherwise would be insincere however I know we can make it happen. I was a little concerned about the rumors of bias I have heard with interiewers etc. but it sounds like if your ducks are in a row and I can convey my abilities along with my family's and their strength I should be fine. I'll let everyone know when I apply next summer. Thanks again and please feel free to keep sharing your interview experieces with me regarding this situation. I really appreciate them.
 
Congrats on your family. :) My wife and I are proud parents of a five-week-old girl. It's made the holiday season very, um, interesting.

I brought up the fact that I was married in every secondary, and I mentioned my then-unborn child explicitly in a VCU secondary essay. I can't remember exactly, but I'm fairly certain I mentioned the baby (still unborn back then :) ) in all of my interviews, either in passing or because I was explicitly asked. I know I was asked at my VCU interview; it was nice to know that my interviewer had actually read my entire application.

All of my interviews led to acceptances, so I wouldn't say that mentioning family is a liability. I can't say, however, that it didn't hurt my chances of getting interviews at some schools. Still, what am I supposed to do - misrepresent myself? Hide a major and important part of my life, a source of my confidence and inner strength? If an adcom has genuine concerns about my ability to be a good student at their school because of my family, then they would be right to reject me and I would accept it.

In the end, you want to make sure your application and interview accurately respresent the real you. I'm very proud of my family and I know they support my dreams, and I think it showed. If you feel the same way, I don't see how it can hurt.
 
I agree with everybody...it should not hurt. I don't think schools can use your marital/family status in a decision, however they might do it.

Like Blee, I wrote about my son and the surgery he had on most of my applications, and I purposely bring up my family and son when I interviewed. I wanted to break the ice so they didn't feel weird bringing up themselves. Apparently it might be an inappropriate question to ask (are you married? Do you have a child?) I don't know if it is...and frankly I would want to know too.

I even told a few interviewers that we are having another child in June.

I have gotten several questions about whether we are prepared to change careers, what my wife thinks about me going to medical school, etc. etc. For me, it's all completely casual and I answered them the way I have answered my family and friends who have asked the same question. It's one of the few questions that I don't have to prepare for because it's easy to answer. Who knows if I "nailed" it.

Interviewing is something else - when I applied in 1997 for medical school, I was scared shiitless. And it definitely showed. Now...man....these interviews are so easy. I feel like I'm talking to my uncle or a teacher. There was only one interview that was challenging (at Cornell) and they said "Convince me you want to go into medicine." If someone is willing not to accept any reason you give, then you can never convince them. Anyway that didn't go well and we talked about family and going back to school after working for 6 years in industry (I actually got into Cornell, how about that? That was a stunner.)

I don't think having a family should be a detriment. Good luck with everything!
 
thanks everyone for your help and advice. I really appreciate it. Congrats "genius" on going to Cornell. My Father also went there. What an amazing school. Thanks again everyone for sharing your experiences. These forums really do help in formulating your future etc.
 
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