Tomorrow's Dream
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- Aug 24, 2024
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Hello! I apologize in advance for any errors in my post, it's my first time making one and I can give additional details if needed.
I'm a 24F ORM who applied unsuccessfully last cycle with a 3.51 GPA (3.36 uGPA and 3.94 DIY postbac GPA) and 509 MCAT (2x), low volunteering hours, and no research. I'm not surprised by my results at all. I did poorly in undergrad while I was in community college (I did much better after transferring) and only realized late that I had a passion for medicine. It feels like I've been trying to play catch-up ever since.
Following undergrad, I started working part-time as a medical assistant and taking community college classes to prop up my GPA. I did some volunteering although not enough and I applied to a few research labs with no luck (I didn't do any in undergrad because of COVID). I also took the MCAT twice and scored the exact same both times which I was utterly crushed by.
Although I didn't feel ready, I made the mistake of applying relatively late last year to 40+ schools (I was encouraged to apply broadly due to my stats). I received secondaries from nearly all of them but completed less than half due to illness, a family emergency, and most importantly poor planning. I knew in my gut that it would not be a fruitful cycle and as expected I received no IIs.
I knew I'd likely have to apply again so I continued taking classes while working during the cycle and brought my GPA up to 3.6. I planned to to skip this 2025-2026 cycle and reapply next year after volunteering more and retaking the MCAT. At least, that was my plan.
Although I was rejected or ghosted from all the schools I finished secondaries for, a few asked me to apply to their SMPs and I was unexpectedly accepted into one that begins this summer. It has some(?) degree of linkage and I even received a scholarship to help pay for it (which I am mystified by although of course very grateful), however it is still very expensive and halfway across the country.
I'm unsure what to do. Realistically speaking, I know that I am an average or even below-average applicant with many gap years and perhaps not a lot to show for it. An SMP could be my best chance of getting into medical school—it'd save me a year and I wouldn't have to retake the MCAT or reapply another cycle (and frankly speaking after the last one I never want to again). Although expensive, I'll be able to afford it with the help of my family, who are urging me to do it.
However, I'm also hesitant. I've heard of SMPs being referred to as a high risk, high reward gamble. If I were to fail the program or just not get in afterwards, it would reflect negatively the next time I apply. I also can't imagine spending so much on something without a guarantee, but to be fair applying to medical school is already like that anyways.
I also feel guilty towards my friends and family for wasting their time and energy all these years. They've been waiting for me to get on with my life and figure out things for so long but I haven't really done anything. I'm getting ahead of myself but if I did the SMP and came back empty-handed to them...I don't know what I'd do. And although I'm trying not to think about it, what if I want to start a family in the future? It seems pointless to worry about since I don't even have a partner, but I also don't have infinite time. To be honest, I'm starting to wonder if it's arrogant of me to even want to attend medical school in the first place but I can't bring myself to give up.
Right now, I'm leaning towards doing the SMP, trying my best, and seeing where it leads me. If it doesn't work out, I told my family that I'll apply one more time. I just know that I'll regret it if I don't try; I'll think more about my next steps when the time comes. One of my bad habits is overthinking about things before they happen (if they ever do) so I'm trying to avoid that. What do you all think?
My apologies for the long and messy post, I hope it was at least somewhat readable. Feel free to ask for any information; I wrote a lot but probably left out something. All advice and criticism is welcome, please be honest and don't hold back!
I'm a 24F ORM who applied unsuccessfully last cycle with a 3.51 GPA (3.36 uGPA and 3.94 DIY postbac GPA) and 509 MCAT (2x), low volunteering hours, and no research. I'm not surprised by my results at all. I did poorly in undergrad while I was in community college (I did much better after transferring) and only realized late that I had a passion for medicine. It feels like I've been trying to play catch-up ever since.
Following undergrad, I started working part-time as a medical assistant and taking community college classes to prop up my GPA. I did some volunteering although not enough and I applied to a few research labs with no luck (I didn't do any in undergrad because of COVID). I also took the MCAT twice and scored the exact same both times which I was utterly crushed by.
Although I didn't feel ready, I made the mistake of applying relatively late last year to 40+ schools (I was encouraged to apply broadly due to my stats). I received secondaries from nearly all of them but completed less than half due to illness, a family emergency, and most importantly poor planning. I knew in my gut that it would not be a fruitful cycle and as expected I received no IIs.
I knew I'd likely have to apply again so I continued taking classes while working during the cycle and brought my GPA up to 3.6. I planned to to skip this 2025-2026 cycle and reapply next year after volunteering more and retaking the MCAT. At least, that was my plan.
Although I was rejected or ghosted from all the schools I finished secondaries for, a few asked me to apply to their SMPs and I was unexpectedly accepted into one that begins this summer. It has some(?) degree of linkage and I even received a scholarship to help pay for it (which I am mystified by although of course very grateful), however it is still very expensive and halfway across the country.
I'm unsure what to do. Realistically speaking, I know that I am an average or even below-average applicant with many gap years and perhaps not a lot to show for it. An SMP could be my best chance of getting into medical school—it'd save me a year and I wouldn't have to retake the MCAT or reapply another cycle (and frankly speaking after the last one I never want to again). Although expensive, I'll be able to afford it with the help of my family, who are urging me to do it.
However, I'm also hesitant. I've heard of SMPs being referred to as a high risk, high reward gamble. If I were to fail the program or just not get in afterwards, it would reflect negatively the next time I apply. I also can't imagine spending so much on something without a guarantee, but to be fair applying to medical school is already like that anyways.
I also feel guilty towards my friends and family for wasting their time and energy all these years. They've been waiting for me to get on with my life and figure out things for so long but I haven't really done anything. I'm getting ahead of myself but if I did the SMP and came back empty-handed to them...I don't know what I'd do. And although I'm trying not to think about it, what if I want to start a family in the future? It seems pointless to worry about since I don't even have a partner, but I also don't have infinite time. To be honest, I'm starting to wonder if it's arrogant of me to even want to attend medical school in the first place but I can't bring myself to give up.
Right now, I'm leaning towards doing the SMP, trying my best, and seeing where it leads me. If it doesn't work out, I told my family that I'll apply one more time. I just know that I'll regret it if I don't try; I'll think more about my next steps when the time comes. One of my bad habits is overthinking about things before they happen (if they ever do) so I'm trying to avoid that. What do you all think?
My apologies for the long and messy post, I hope it was at least somewhat readable. Feel free to ask for any information; I wrote a lot but probably left out something. All advice and criticism is welcome, please be honest and don't hold back!