single mom = med school impossible?

[sunny1]

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My daughter just graduated from nursing school. Single, no kids, RN by age 23.

She's spent about the last 10 years trying to rehab me from my sexist illness...

she calls me this AM whining because she has to work Christmas... they gave the day off to the single mother with kids on her shift.

another liberal cured by a 50cc bolus of real life.

I know that must be frustrating for her since everyone else in your family will likely be together celebrating, but in my opinion Christmas, while a very special holiday for many families, is just a "day." As in, it could be celebrated on Christmas Eve "day" with family. It could be celebrated on the weekend before or after Christmas with all the same traditions and fun, it's just physically being done on a different day due to constraints of when people can make it in and when they can't.

Heck, some of my family even celebrate a little bit of Christmas during Thanksgiving since we know we won't be seeing those relatives during December. Admittedly, that's weird. But maybe you could celebrate a day early or save some of the traditions she loves to be celebrated when she can be with you all.

In the healthcare field, as in the service industry (people who work at the airports for those traveling on holidays, grocery stores are now open for part of the holidays, etc.), if we can come to view holidays as the days when you can be with your family and loved ones to celebrate instead of an actual date (i.e., Dec. 25), it makes having to work on holidays a less bitter pill to swallow.

 

[t-funk]

Single mothers are people too and there could be several different reasons why this person got Christmas off and your daughter didn't. You said she just graduated from RN school. The other girl could have seniority over your daughter or maybe it was her turn to get a holiday off. Maybe your daughter doesn't hit it off to well with the scheduler since she 'just' graduated and already permeates an air of entitlement. I can remember working many years on the holidays and taking other people's shifts, yes even while having children and going through a divorce and having a professional job which required a bachelor's degree, until I got a M-F position. It's the nature of the job.

 

[t-funk]

I used to have a friend who I recommended to a position at my lab and she planed on remaining childless for life. She would constantly complain about how it wasn't fair that there was sick time and that they should be put sick and vacation time together bc the only people who use sick time are parents. We bantered about this for a year or so since we were friends and could get under each other's skin pretty good w/o any hard feelings. Finally, as she left to go to Pharmacy school in August, she admitted that she took off way more time than me over the two years and she felt sorry for me bc it seemed like the only time I took off was to take care of sick kids and never truly got a vacation or real days off while she took multiple trips in the same time period. I think everyone has step back sometimes and really look at things through other people's point of view instead of whining about the little things. Aren't doctor's supposed to be compassionate?

 

[alpha62]

Single mothers are people too and there could be several different reasons why this person got Christmas off and your daughter didn't. You said she just graduated from RN school. The other girl could have seniority over your daughter or maybe it was her turn to get a holiday off. Maybe your daughter doesn't hit it off to well with the scheduler since she 'just' graduated and already permeates an air of entitlement. I can remember working many years on the holidays and taking other people's shifts, yes even while having children and going through a divorce and having a professional job which required a bachelor's degree, until I got a M-F position. It's the nature of the job.

You all do realize, I've been working in this field since 1980. If it were up to me, I'd give all the single people Cinco de Mayo, July 4th, the Superbowl, and every other singles hook up, blow out, days off and make the breeders work it in exchange for " family " holidays off like xmas, easter, ect.

 

[MedStudentWanna]

she calls me this AM whining because she has to work Christmas... they gave the day off to the single mother with kids on her shift.

No offense, but I would have given the single mom with kids the day off too instead of a junior nurse who just graduated. That's how it is in every business. Those with seniority get first dibs on holidays and make it a single mom who wants Christmas off and has been longer than your daughter and there's really no contest.

Besides, Christmas and holidays like that are the best days to work. Everyone's laid back during the day and commiserating together since they're all unhappy about the situation and it only gets busy in the evening. I'd rather work Christmas and have a real day off where I can gather with my family and have all the fun we'd have on Christmas.

 

[LuckBALady]

military wife/student ?

Ok as a student, all of your needs are cared for by the military. I don't see the " stress " I don't really see it at all. Tax Free rent allowance, free food, free everything, even better while hubby is deployed.

the only stress I usually saw in a WESTPAC widow was the pressure of how fast she could spend the money before hubby finds out.

Now we're pulling away the social safety net, how is that going to improve academic performance ? I'm not pulling any shift for that sort of thing.

I have been an active duty (enlisted) Air Force wife for almost 6 years and I can definately atest that the military doesn't even come close to fulfilling your "needs". Yes, we don't have rent, but I've lived in better housing in the ghettos of Knoxville TN (a small getto anyway). Between the septic tanks overflowing and the pipes leaking, one really feels at home. My husband's schedule is so eratic that I can't get a job or attend school (except online). Nights one week and Days or swings the next. Baby sitters aren't reliable b/c there are so many kids living in/around the military bases that there isn't enough room for everyone in the daycares/home daycares. There is no free rent or free food. Our BAS doesn't even cover half of our expenses monthly and worrying that your spouse can be "shipped" off to war at any moment is taxing enough. The pay isn't tax free either...only when your spouse is in a combat zone. "Free everything"..not quite..I have to pay for dental, eye care, or anything beyond routine. The military is NO WHERE near welfare. The men/women are giving their lives/limbs for the benefits they receive.

Sorry for the off topic rant. 🙂

Best wishes greyblueeyes!! I felt many times the military life isn't worth it. I would feel less bitter if I were a single mom. My husband knows....re-enlist and show me where to sign.

 

[butterfly411]

i do believe it is my inevitable destiny to be a single mother. right now i'm getting my BS in chemistry and have a 3.98. i still have a few semesters before i'll be done. i was planning to take the MCAT in a year. i've always done very well on standardized tests and was expecting a good score.

if i get divorced, do i have to give up on the idea of med school? my youngest is 3.5, so they'd both be in school by the time i started. and no, i wouldn't have any help from family. my parents don't live anywhere near a med school, so the closest i can get to family is still a few hours away.

i don't want to give up on med school, but i think it just might not be feasible anymore. thoughts?

Hey don't be silly...if you always dreamt it then don't stop chasing it!
Remember, if there's a will, theres a way. Hired a nanny if you have to. Later, as your children gets older they will realize your efforts and persistency during hard times and that may indeed inspire them to follow their own dreams. set the example!

Great lucks to you!

 

[GreyBlueEyes]

alpha62: you definitely don't know me at all. the Navy doesn't meet my needs anymore than any job of my husband's would. it's an income. i still manage all the finances, bills, etc. the Navy doesn't give us ANY money or support for me to go to school. Nor do I have the qualities of the stereotypical military wife =p

I left home at 17 and supported myself for 6 years before I married my husband. I've never fit into the Navy community and when we got married, he was planning to get out. That's turned into a 20-year commitment, despite everything i wanted to the contrary. I'm an extremely independent person, and don't like having my life controlled by any entity. I prefer non-military life.

I'm not going to discuss my reasons for divorce here at all. It's not appropriate. I appreciate those of you who have simply answered my questions without passing judgment or prying for personal details. To be honest, I think I've gotten as much as I can use from this discussion. It's deviated into nearly insulting, and I just don't have the time to waste defending myself to a few bitter strangers who think they know anything about me.

thanks again to the helpful ones 🙂 i'd close the thread if i could 😉

 

[GreyBlueEyes]

I have been an active duty (enlisted) Air Force wife for almost 6 years and I can definately atest that the military doesn't even come close to fulfilling your "needs". Yes, we don't have rent, but I've lived in better housing in the ghettos of Knoxville TN (a small getto anyway). Between the septic tanks overflowing and the pipes leaking, one really feels at home. My husband's schedule is so eratic that I can't get a job or attend school (except online). Nights one week and Days or swings the next. Baby sitters aren't reliable b/c there are so many kids living in/around the military bases that there isn't enough room for everyone in the daycares/home daycares. There is no free rent or free food. Our BAS doesn't even cover half of our expenses monthly and worrying that your spouse can be "shipped" off to war at any moment is taxing enough. The pay isn't tax free either...only when your spouse is in a combat zone. "Free everything"..not quite..I have to pay for dental, eye care, or anything beyond routine. The military is NO WHERE near welfare. The men/women are giving their lives/limbs for the benefits they receive.

Sorry for the off topic rant. 🙂

Best wishes greyblueeyes!! I felt many times the military life isn't worth it. I would feel less bitter if I were a single mom. My husband knows....re-enlist and show me where to sign.

THANK YOU.

 

[notdeadyet]

My daughter just graduated from nursing school. Single, no kids, RN by age 23.

She's spent about the last 10 years trying to rehab me from my sexist illness...

she calls me this AM whining because she has to work Christmas... they gave the day off to the single mother with kids on her shift.

Hate to break it to you, but if they didn't give the day off to the single mom, they probably would have given it off to the married mom. After that, they probably would have given it off to the married dad. Your single, 23yo freshly-graduated daughter is lowest on the totem pole. If you're ex-military, surely you know something about pecking order?

 

[pingouin]

thanks again to the helpful ones 🙂 i'd close the thread if i could 😉

Well I can, and I will per your request. I'm glad you were able to get some helpful information here, and good luck with your endeavors. 🙂