SOAP Process and advice please

[Mom24FutureMD]

Thanks to you all for your knowledge. I appreciate it so much that you do take the time to answer questions. It has helped me a lot throughout my medical school journey. I wish I could write a book for people who want to become doctors. Any way.

I have two questions the first is a personal statement question. The second is in regards to applying for SOAP having not applied to any programs in the regular season match.

Background:
Nontraditional student. I have five children who are 4, 13, 15, 17, 20 years old. I want to match into surgery (not what I thought I would want to do when I went to medical school but absolutely have an incredible passion for it).
Step 1: 191
Step 2: 226
CS second time pass ; My honest assessment at the risk of sounding ill prepared and ignorant: It was my patient note - simply put I did all of my patient charting on EMR I practiced but clearly not enough. I was very uncharacteristically nervous. I have never been nervous like that in a patient encounter. I am extremely comfortable. I wasn't expecting to be so nervous and thus was ill prepared for overcoming those feelings. It likely impacted every facet of my patient encounter but I imagine the most detrimental was absolutely in my note. I practiced with a fellow medical student (not my children as patients as I had done before) and practiced the note writing ad nauseum before retaking it a year or so later. I had to work a full year in order to pay for the exam again.

Who am I, why am I a surgeon (just waiting for a residency) and how do I convey that in one page?
I am fully committed to the profession- I went to a foreign caribbean medical school (I was naive)-first generation college graduate in my family. I continued even when I learned that my marriage would end if I continued, and my children remained in the states. I continued during my pregnancy with my fifth child. I have pushed very hard and worked and had to take masters classes concurrently with medical school to afford living expenses while in medical school. I have used my last dollar at the risk of my family being evicted from our apartment. Yes. Literally spent every single penny to take my CK. I have been working a job where I work for a company that is in China and I have to keep Chinese work hours (I love the job and the hours are wonderful for my lifestyle. It was such an incredible blessing to work a few hours a day while studying for CK and getting a paycheck the next month). My point is I am not a quitter and I am a hard worker. How do I convey this to programs in my personal statement? I had considered having it written by a company that does those things, but was advised not to. So what do I say? How do I say what I want to say eloquently?

Points that I think make my case very unusual but I am not sure I should share them.

* I was a high school drop out after it had gone out of style. I obtained my GED when I was 17.

* I was the first generation in my family to go to college and therefore obviously, graduate school.

* I was concurrently enrolled in Masters of Business Administration programs during medical school

* I went through a divorce in my second sememster of medical school

* I have five children. I like them.

* I honestly have always-at the risk of sounding cliche- wanted to be doctor. I didn't know it was my calling until medical school. I learned in my first introduction to clinical medicine that it was my calling. My first exposure to taking a history and creating a ddx was like putting on your favorite oversized sweatshirt and sitting next to the fireplace on a snowy day with a good book and a quiet movie. It was comfortable. It felt like all was right. Honestly, I do not know how else to explain it except that "calling" is the only word that fully defines that feeling. I felt the same way when I was exposed to the OR. I spent 26 hours in the hospital in my first rotation and it was one of my favorite days in the history of my medical education.

* I have fought through extreme poverty (I have eaten moldy bread because I had no money and no food during medical school, as well as noodles and butter) to make this my career. Not only poverty in medical school but my family has likely never been above the poverty bracket. I have always qualified for medicaid and food stamps.

* I really want to stay in the area where my children go to school and I have a life-Atlanta Georgia.

* I have worked jobs a lot of jobs to pay for my exams and questions banks. I worked 50 hours a week in a restaurant, four hours a month cleaning houses, and 20 hours a week in a medical clinic just to be able to pay for my Step 2 CK and CS.

* all of my preceptors have said that I will make an excellent physician. They highly recommend me for the profession.

* I was a student member of the ACOS.
How do I illustrate all of this or should I mention any of it?


2. I am applying only to SOAP this year because I did not have my Step 2 CK grade yet and I knew it would help my application if scored well. I didn't score as well as I wanted to but I was happy to know that I passed. I know many people who do not pass the first time. I felt very blessed because I knew it would be very difficulty to pay for the exam again.

How do I find the places that historically have filled spots using SOAP?

In reading the material it looks as if there is a "quiet period" where we are not allowed to call programs.

What is the advantage to paying for the SOAP rather than just applying after SOAP when I can contact programs?

Do I have a chance with categorical surgery position in the SOAP?

I really want to match this year. If I do not match where do I go to find a PGY-1 position off cycle?

Thank you so much for any insight.

---

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[W19]

TL;DR all

191 for step1? When did you take step1? I thought 192 was the minimum passing score

You might be successful in the SOAP if you try to SOAP in for a preliminary surgery spot... Not sure how many categorical surgery spots were in the SOAP last year, but it's very likely that it was not many.

Your chances are VERY low for a categorical surgery spot...

 

[NotAProgDirector]

You have an amazing story. You should be proud of the work you've done, and how far you've come.

But you have some very seriously unrealistic expectations, and you need to reset your plans or you'll end up with nothing.

From your only other post here on SDN, you mentioned you were on the "7 year plan" for your MD. Your post here suggests that you've already graduated from a carib medical school. I'm going to guess that it's not one of SGU/Ross/AUC. You failed CS, have poor scores on S1 and S2. As mentioned, you took S1 long enough ago that your score is now considered a failing score. You're divorced, have a 4 year old, family is important to you, and you don't want to leave Atlanta.

OK. Here's the hard-to-hear truth:

1. You're not getting a surgery residency. No matter how well you write your PS. With your background, your chances are not low, they are zero.

2. Are you sure you even want a surgery spot? You're divorced, and have a 4 year old. A surgery prelim, which might be an option (but still a stretch with your background) will require ridiculously long hours. The ACGME is allowing programs to restart 24 hour call for interns in July, you can be almost certain that many prelim GS programs will do so. You won't be able to not come in to work if your kid is ill, of if school is suddenly cancelled. You will need day care, and night care. And a back up to that day and night care. And a backup to that backup -- because it can never fail. Going to meet your child's kindergarten teacher, or attend a soccer game, etc -- all of those things will be very difficult and completely out of your control. Basically, someone else will be doing most of the raising of your child.

3. Even in another field, some of the issues in #2 remain a problem, although usually other fields have less hours, and may be more forgiving. You will need to decide whether you can make this sacrifice for your career. There is no "7 year plan" in residency. Even in IM/FM, it will be 6 day work weeks, with 70+ hours per week, and little / no control of your hours, and no flexibility. You will leave for work before your 4 year old is awake, and come home after they are likely in bed many days.

4. You can't just decide to stay in Atlanta. You can't be picky. You're a really poor residency applicant, even for the least competitive fields and programs. You are probably moving. Sure, you can rank any programs in Atlanta first, and hope that's where you match, but you can't be picky.

5. I don't know how far out of training you are, but every year drops your chances further. You should seriously consider applying to FM in SOAP this year. Do not waste your SOAP applications on GS positions -- those will go to people who tried to apply to Ortho / Vascular / NeuroSurg and didn't get spots. You will not get one. Your best chance is in FM.

6. If staying in ATL is important, your only programs are Emory, Morehouse, and Atlanta Medical Center. I don't know enough about the area to know if some of the programs in other towns/cities are commutable. In any case, every single FM spot in GA filled in the match last year, so there were none in SOAP. Interestingly, Morehouse had a bunch of IM openings -- I expect they may interview differently this year to try to prevent that again, but you never know.

7. There were 140 FM positions, 480 prelim surgery positions, and 128 Categorical IM positions across the country in SOAP. Applying to Prelim GS is a very bad idea. One way they decide who gets a categorical GS spot (if one opens up) is by how well you do on the ABSITE exam. Exams are not your strong suit. As mentioned, a prelim GS spot involves very long hours, and you'll need to do better than your colleagues to get a spot in the long run. You're much better off trying to get a spot that would lead to completed training. Although you can try for IM, with your stats FM is much safer, and there are many more spots. A reasonable plan would be to apply to IM in Atlanta (if any), and then FM.

8. If you don't get a spot soon, you'll never get a spot. You can't just "try for surgery this year", and then plan to get an FM spot next year.

9. You will need to apply to programs that are not competitive, and those in less popular locations. Look at the NRMP Match Report for last year. Scroll down to the actual match results (starts on page 59), and you can see which programs didn't fill -- any program where the quota is more than the match, didn't fill. Look those programs up. Get a sense of what you'd be competitive for.

I'm certain this isn't what you wanted to hear. But it's the honest truth.

 

[W19]

@aProgDirector

There are more spots in IM than FM in the match I believe...

I agree with your post re: OP's chances to match GS... Even FM will be an uphill battle.

 

[NotAProgDirector]

You are correct, and I have fixed my post. There are about 7200 IM spots, and 3300 FM spots. Thx!

 

[failedatlife]

Bookmarked for March 15th.

 

[Mom24FutureMD]

It doesn't feel like there is much to be proud of. In my mind the only time that I can be proud is if and when I get to do what I feel like my calling is. Honestly, I get what you are saying and I know the reality.

This is my first time I am qualified for the match. My graduation will be May 2018. I took extra time to make money to pay for exams and rent and to pay for rotations. The absolute most difficult part of the entire process is money. I had no money for the review programs in medical school and my studying for step 1 was greatly impacted. I couldn't use Uworld for a year. I could only afford one month. The score was devastating. Even now, I don't have tens of thousands of dollars for match next year which would be my first all in year. I can work this year with research and luckily I do have some connections in Atlanta though most of them have offered me a job after residency.

As for my family, it seems they are best unmentioned in personal statement for the same reasons you stated. If I don't mention them then they cannot have this view that you have openly shared. Which has been my concern all along. Thank you!

I have had many people (doctors and surgeons) tell me that I should share that; however, it isn't required and it sounds like it will only hurt my chances further.

My daughter's life will be best in a life that is not miserable from poverty. In poverty we make sacrifices. I absolutely will one day write a book about what it means to be in poverty with children, but the worst feeling is when your child is telling you about her friends who made the cheer team and you thought she was going to try out. She tells you "I know we don't have the money, so I didn't even mention it." That is one of the worst feelings I have ever had and I know that it will not happen to my youngest daughter. She may be able to complain that mom wasn't at my games etc. But I have learned to parent while in medical school and I have worked 80 hours to just be able to pay my rent and no extras. I will revel in the opportunity to work 90 hours a week, heal people, be passionate about my job, and be able to pay my bills and afford for my child to have a few extracurricular activities. (interjection my daughter did try out the next year for the cheer team and made it and she is now in high school and made the high school cheer team but we couldn't afford it so she was the only one with just a uniform.)

I would rather spend ten quality hours a week with my children vs the life that I have had thus far with them. They have given up time with me and they are very proud of how far we have come, and I know they want me to be a surgeon as well. I am sure they would understand and we will all be in this together. I would work night and day to have what most people take for granted. I do have a spouse now and I would absolutely hire a nanny. Leaving for a sick child would not be necessary. The honest truth is that if my child is sick they will be sick with or without me and when I am at home, I will have the ability to truly be present. I will not be worried about the gas bill money, the power money, if we have enough food stamps to provide the required snack for the game or dinner for that matter. Until you have been in a position to really have to be concerned about food there is no way to explain how hard and how much you can love work.

I currently get up at 1am to teach online and I will be attempting observerships during the day. I can do the hard things. I just need to convey this to directors and I do not know how. My personal motto is we can do anything, anything for a minute, so just one more minute. One more minute of school. One more minute of studying. One more minute at work.

If I don't get a surgery residency then it will not be for lack of passion and trying-even just a little. How will I ever know if there is one person that might see my application and be moved either from personal experience or perhaps they will see the determination that I have in my soul for this profession.

I will absolutely be applying FM and IM as well. I know many people have suggested it given the simple fact that you can work two weeks on and two weeks off. That really doesn't interest me as much as working 90 hours a week and being in the OR. It sounds like if I do it, then I can be a walking miracle. I will shout to the heavens and thank God for giving me the opportunity (as well as the director that takes a chance on me). I really just want to make whatever program accepts me very proud.

My career means so much more to me than I can illustrate in a paragraph. It is my calling. I went into medical school knowing full well that my husband would likely divorce me and I loved him and our life but I loved medicine more. That may make me sound like a bad person, but I love it. When I started I didn't know how much, but my love for the practice of medicine in its intricacies grew and I know it is my true calling. I could do a million other things to make more money faster, but none of them have given me the same feeling I get when I am in the clinic and the OR.

Again thank you for being honest, I could have predicted that response. It is realistic.

What do you recommend in terms of personal statement because even if it won't change my chances I still have to have one. =) Should I pay for a service to write the best one possible or should I write it myself?

Thank you most of all for your time. Thank you so much for your candor and response.[/QUOTE]

 

[Mom24FutureMD]

TL;DR all

191 for step1? When did you take step1? I thought 192 was the minimum passing score

You might be successful in the SOAP if you try to SOAP in for a preliminary surgery spot... Not sure how many categorical surgery spots were in the SOAP last year, but it's very likely that it was not many.

Your chances are VERY low for a categorical surgery spot...

I took it Dec 2013. It was miserable. I was ill prepared and had little options for improvement given my circumstances. The score is embarrassing. I agree, but it is what is and at the time it was passing. It is now there forever. So. We move forward.

 

[Rekt]

It doesn't feel like there is much to be proud of. In my mind the only time that I can be proud is if and when I get to do what I feel like my calling is. Honestly, I get what you are saying and I know the reality.

This is my first time I am qualified for the match. My graduation will be May 2018. I took extra time to make money to pay for exams and rent and to pay for rotations. The absolute most difficult part of the entire process is money. I had no money for the review programs in medical school and my studying for step 1 was greatly impacted. I couldn't use Uworld for a year. I could only afford one month. The score was devastating. Even now, I don't have tens of thousands of dollars for match next year which would be my first all in year. I can work this year with research and luckily I do have some connections in Atlanta though most of them have offered me a job after residency.

As for my family, it seems they are best unmentioned in personal statement for the same reasons you stated. If I don't mention them then they cannot have this view that you have openly shared. Which has been my concern all along. Thank you!

I have had many people (doctors and surgeons) tell me that I should share that; however, it isn't required and it sounds like it will only hurt my chances further.

My daughter's life will be best in a life that is not miserable from poverty. In poverty we make sacrifices. I absolutely will one day write a book about what it means to be in poverty with children, but the worst feeling is when your child is telling you about her friends who made the cheer team and you thought she was going to try out. She tells you "I know we don't have the money, so I didn't even mention it." That is one of the worst feelings I have ever had and I know that it will not happen to my youngest daughter. She may be able to complain that mom wasn't at my games etc. But I have learned to parent while in medical school and I have worked 80 hours to just be able to pay my rent and no extras. I will revel in the opportunity to work 90 hours a week, heal people, be passionate about my job, and be able to pay my bills and afford for my child to have a few extracurricular activities. (interjection my daughter did try out the next year for the cheer team and made it and she is now in high school and made the high school cheer team but we couldn't afford it so she was the only one with just a uniform.)

I would rather spend ten quality hours a week with my children vs the life that I have had thus far with them. They have given up time with me and they are very proud of how far we have come, and I know they want me to be a surgeon as well. I am sure they would understand and we will all be in this together. I would work night and day to have what most people take for granted. I do have a spouse now and I would absolutely hire a nanny. Leaving for a sick child would not be necessary. The honest truth is that if my child is sick they will be sick with or without me and when I am at home, I will have the ability to truly be present. I will not be worried about the gas bill money, the power money, if we have enough food stamps to provide the required snack for the game or dinner for that matter. Until you have been in a position to really have to be concerned about food there is no way to explain how hard and how much you can love work.

I currently get up at 1am to teach online and I will be attempting observerships during the day. I can do the hard things. I just need to convey this to directors and I do not know how. My personal motto is we can do anything, anything for a minute, so just one more minute. One more minute of school. One more minute of studying. One more minute at work.

If I don't get a surgery residency then it will not be for lack of passion and trying-even just a little. How will I ever know if there is one person that might see my application and be moved either from personal experience or perhaps they will see the determination that I have in my soul for this profession.

I will absolutely be applying FM and IM as well. I know many people have suggested it given the simple fact that you can work two weeks on and two weeks off. That really doesn't interest me as much as working 90 hours a week and being in the OR. It sounds like if I do it, then I can be a walking miracle. I will shout to the heavens and thank God for giving me the opportunity (as well as the director that takes a chance on me). I really just want to make whatever program accepts me very proud.

My career means so much more to me than I can illustrate in a paragraph. It is my calling. I went into medical school knowing full well that my husband would likely divorce me and I loved him and our life but I loved medicine more. That may make me sound like a bad person, but I love it. When I started I didn't know how much, but my love for the practice of medicine in its intricacies grew and I know it is my true calling. I could do a million other things to make more money faster, but none of them have given me the same feeling I get when I am in the clinic and the OR.

Again thank you for being honest, I could have predicted that response. It is realistic.

What do you recommend in terms of personal statement because even if it won't change my chances I still have to have one. =) Should I pay for a service to write the best one possible or should I write it myself?

Thank you most of all for your time. Thank you so much for your candor and response.

This isn't the same as applying to medical school. Your personal statement for residency is one of the least important aspects of your applications. I wouldn't be surprised if some programs didn't even read it at all, especially surgery.

Look, I feel like aProgDirector gave you the best advice in the nicest way possible, but I'll give it to you straight. You have no shot at matching into a surgical residency whatsoever, regardless of your "passion" or destiny or whatever. Also, I don't even think you have a shot at IM or FM. I have a family as well and I feel like you're completely delusional about your situation. I think it's time you stop pursing medicine and get your life together.

 

[W19]

I took it Dec 2013. It was miserable. I was ill prepared and had little options for improvement given my circumstances. The score is embarrassing. I agree, but it is what is and at the time it was passing. It is now there forever. So. We move forward.

I was not passing judgement on your step1 score (I did not do too well on it either). I was just curious about 191 being a passing score because when I took it in 2016, the minimum passing score was 192 and my friend who took it a year before me needed also 192. I apologize if my post came across that way. Best of luck!

 

[NotAProgDirector]

I'm glad to hear that you have a plan for childcare.

You don't need someone to write your PS. Take your posts here, edit them, and you'll have something really compelling. Write about poverty. Your story is the strongest part of your application. Add a brief statement about how your children will be cared for.

Apply to GS, and then IM or FP also. That's a reasonable plan.

Best of luck.

 

[Mom24FutureMD]

I was not passing judgement on your step1 score (I did not do too well on it either). I was just curious about 191 being a passing score because when I took it in 2016, the minimum passing score was 192 and my friend who took it a year before me needed also 192. I apologize if my post came across that way. Best of luck!

I absolutely did not take it that way. I have had a few years to own my score and my own shortcomings. I have also taken the opportunity to learn from it. I understood what you meant. I took it just before the increase ironically enough.

If I had known what I know now I would have done a few things differently, however, at my age, you learn that all of those types of thoughts steal your joy. Focus on the positive, enhance the present, and go forward having learned from the past. It is a new day. =)


Thanks so much for commenting. All the best! I hope you match into your desired position.

 

[Mom24FutureMD]

I'm glad to hear that you have a plan for childcare.

You don't need someone to write your PS. Take your posts here, edit them, and you'll have something really compelling. Write about poverty. Your story is the strongest part of your application. Add a brief statement about how your children will be cared for.

Apply to GS, and then IM or FP also. That's a reasonable plan.

Best of luck.

Thank you!

 

[moisne]

Step 1: 191

I thought 192 was passing? But your Step 2 CK was ok... Did it come in too late?

I have five children who are 4, 13, 15, 17, 20 years old. I want to match into surgery

I didn't read very carefully but I think you mentioned a divorce in MS2. I don't mean to be rude... but is surgical residency the best choice for someone who has 5 kids? Is your ex husband helping take care of the kids?

foreign caribbean medical school

Ouch

I am applying only to SOAP this year because I did not have my Step 2 CK grade yet and I knew it would help my application if scored well. I didn't score as well as I wanted to but I was happy to know that I passed.

I didn't apply to GS... but couldn't you have have participated in the normal match even without receiving your step 2 ck?

----------------------
I don't know anything about GS other than if I don't get my top 10 choices, I'll be scrambling for an prelim (likely surgery). I hear there are always a few GS prelim spots unfilled. Good luck.

 

[Can'tdecide111]

This isn't the same as applying to medical school. Your personal statement for residency is one of the least important aspects of your applications. I wouldn't be surprised if some programs didn't even read it at all, especially surgery.

Look, I feel like aProgDirector gave you the best advice in the nicest way possible, but I'll give it to you straight. You have no shot at matching into a surgical residency whatsoever, regardless of your "passion" or destiny or whatever. Also, I don't even think you have a shot at IM or FM. I have a family as well and I feel like you're completely delusional about your situation. I think it's time you stop pursing medicine and get your life together.

I don't think you are a program director and you are in no position to be saying such things to a person seeking help.

 

[Redpancreas]

I don't think you are a program director and you are in no position to be saying such things to a person seeking help.

I was pretty irritated too to be honest. Seems like aPD really felt for this applicant, made this her own advising project, and OP pretty much hears none of it.

 

[Can'tdecide111]

I was pretty irritated too to be honest. Seems like aPD really felt for this applicant, made this her own advising project, and OP pretty much hears none of it.

I think that the OP needs to heed the PDs advice. She can do surgery after a good performance in IM/FM or else do fellowships in IM that involve procedures. FM I think should have that too.

Medicine is first and foremost a job and you need to take the sentiment out of it. You must match by any means necessary.

 

[prettylittlebird]

I'm confused...unless OP took Step 1 before January 2014 then her 191 is not a passing score. Wouldn't that make one ineligible to Match or even SOAP? I would be curious to know in general if it's possible to begin residency without having passed one of your boards. Seems like it would be impossible.

 

[Can'tdecide111]

I'm confused...unless OP took Step 1 before January 2014 then her 191 is not a passing score. Wouldn't that make one ineligible to Match or even SOAP? I would be curious to know in general if it's possible to begin residency without having passed one of your boards. Seems like it would be impossible.

@aProgDirector

 

[rokshana]

I'm confused...unless OP took Step 1 before January 2014 then her 191 is not a passing score. Wouldn't that make one ineligible to Match or even SOAP? I would be curious to know in general if it's possible to begin residency without having passed one of your boards. Seems like it would be impossible.

She said she took it in dec 2013...so yes she took it before 2014.

 

[studentdocftw]

Any update?! Hope it works OP, if not today then by the end of the week!

 

[DrfluffyMD]

Not the most realistic plan. Also, how did your children respond to the divorce? Sounded rough for everyone involved.

Most physicians put themselves and their families first. It’s a reasonable thing, because if the physician and their family aren’t in a good place, they can cut their careers short and potentially lead to their inability to help many, many more patients.

Meanwhile, OP supposedly knowingly destroyed her family for a chance in surgery. I am not entirely sure if that’s the best approach.

Good luck.

 

[IMPD]

It doesn't feel like there is much to be proud of. In my mind the only time that I can be proud is if and when I get to do what I feel like my calling is. Honestly, I get what you are saying and I know the reality.

This is my first time I am qualified for the match. My graduation will be May 2018. I took extra time to make money to pay for exams and rent and to pay for rotations. The absolute most difficult part of the entire process is money. I had no money for the review programs in medical school and my studying for step 1 was greatly impacted. I couldn't use Uworld for a year. I could only afford one month. The score was devastating. Even now, I don't have tens of thousands of dollars for match next year which would be my first all in year. I can work this year with research and luckily I do have some connections in Atlanta though most of them have offered me a job after residency.

As for my family, it seems they are best unmentioned in personal statement for the same reasons you stated. If I don't mention them then they cannot have this view that you have openly shared. Which has been my concern all along. Thank you!

I have had many people (doctors and surgeons) tell me that I should share that; however, it isn't required and it sounds like it will only hurt my chances further.

My daughter's life will be best in a life that is not miserable from poverty. In poverty we make sacrifices. I absolutely will one day write a book about what it means to be in poverty with children, but the worst feeling is when your child is telling you about her friends who made the cheer team and you thought she was going to try out. She tells you "I know we don't have the money, so I didn't even mention it." That is one of the worst feelings I have ever had and I know that it will not happen to my youngest daughter. She may be able to complain that mom wasn't at my games etc. But I have learned to parent while in medical school and I have worked 80 hours to just be able to pay my rent and no extras. I will revel in the opportunity to work 90 hours a week, heal people, be passionate about my job, and be able to pay my bills and afford for my child to have a few extracurricular activities. (interjection my daughter did try out the next year for the cheer team and made it and she is now in high school and made the high school cheer team but we couldn't afford it so she was the only one with just a uniform.)

I would rather spend ten quality hours a week with my children vs the life that I have had thus far with them. They have given up time with me and they are very proud of how far we have come, and I know they want me to be a surgeon as well. I am sure they would understand and we will all be in this together. I would work night and day to have what most people take for granted. I do have a spouse now and I would absolutely hire a nanny. Leaving for a sick child would not be necessary. The honest truth is that if my child is sick they will be sick with or without me and when I am at home, I will have the ability to truly be present. I will not be worried about the gas bill money, the power money, if we have enough food stamps to provide the required snack for the game or dinner for that matter. Until you have been in a position to really have to be concerned about food there is no way to explain how hard and how much you can love work.

I currently get up at 1am to teach online and I will be attempting observerships during the day. I can do the hard things. I just need to convey this to directors and I do not know how. My personal motto is we can do anything, anything for a minute, so just one more minute. One more minute of school. One more minute of studying. One more minute at work.

If I don't get a surgery residency then it will not be for lack of passion and trying-even just a little. How will I ever know if there is one person that might see my application and be moved either from personal experience or perhaps they will see the determination that I have in my soul for this profession.

I will absolutely be applying FM and IM as well. I know many people have suggested it given the simple fact that you can work two weeks on and two weeks off. That really doesn't interest me as much as working 90 hours a week and being in the OR. It sounds like if I do it, then I can be a walking miracle. I will shout to the heavens and thank God for giving me the opportunity (as well as the director that takes a chance on me). I really just want to make whatever program accepts me very proud.

My career means so much more to me than I can illustrate in a paragraph. It is my calling. I went into medical school knowing full well that my husband would likely divorce me and I loved him and our life but I loved medicine more. That may make me sound like a bad person, but I love it. When I started I didn't know how much, but my love for the practice of medicine in its intricacies grew and I know it is my true calling. I could do a million other things to make more money faster, but none of them have given me the same feeling I get when I am in the clinic and the OR.

Again thank you for being honest, I could have predicted that response. It is realistic.

What do you recommend in terms of personal statement because even if it won't change my chances I still have to have one. =) Should I pay for a service to write the best one possible or should I write it myself?

Thank you most of all for your time. Thank you so much for your candor and response.

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A heart rending story. I wish the OP the best. I totally agree with @aProgDirector 's assessment.

Training is not like school. This is the major hurdle conceptually, and more importantly, experimentally for students to adjust to. Although I admire the OP's work history and think that it would benefit her application, she does not appear to be in a place where she could succeed at the job. I might be wrong, but I've never seen anyone succeed at this from that starting place.

I interviewed a candidate this year who has been managing a family business while in school. Not an uncommon story. Some people can make that sort of thing work. Most cannot. One of the areas of privilege that my children have is that they are never going to have to pay the bills while they are in school. It gives them a huge leg up on anyone who is doing that. I wish that OP had gotten more support during her schooling and was in a better position to take an incredibly demanding job now. Wishing won't make it so.