Social Failure. Anyone else feel like they are missing out?

[ransofarway111]

I am home for winter break, and I am starting to realize how much I have missed out on socially. Anyone else feel the same way?

Info about me:

I am a sophomore at a top 10 school. My school is notorious for weeding kids out in its pre-req classes. When I first entered college, I knew the first 2 years would be the most difficult because I was going to take all my pre-req classes in the first two years. As a result, I knew I had to buckle down and work hard. However it seems like I did these past 1.5 years was study, study, and study some more. Don't get me wrong, I have been doing great academically, but its really been hurting my social life. My freshman year, I was able to become friends with a group of 10 kids in my dorm. However, my sophomore year, all my friends moved away into off campus apts and now, out of that group I am the only one living in a dorm. I sometimes hang out with the kids in my new dorm, but its still not the same as freshman year. My freshman year I didn't go to any parties, for two reasons, I don't drink, and I was taking 2 pre-req classes so I wanted to take things easy and do well academically. My sophomore year I have been doing the same thing. So far my sophomore year I only hang out with like 4 friends.

Now the problem is that I came home from college for winter break. All of the kids I went to high school with are having great social lives in college. They all I gf's. I have never had a gf. There were a couple of girls that I knew liked me in high school but now we go to different colleges, and they have moved on. I feel like I could have gotten these girls when we were in high school but now they are out of my league. They went off to college, and have had great social lives, and made a ton of friends. I don't think I can ever get girls like that, because they probably see me as a social outcast who only studies and doesn't have a lot of friends. I am having a really hard time meeting girls in college, because all I do if ****en study. All of my friends from high school only hang out with there new friends that they met at their new college. So now I am sitting at home wondering where I went wrong in life because I can't get girls, and don't have a lot of friends. Girls usually go for the really popular guy who every1 likes.

For the past 1.5 years I knew that I was not doing well socially, but I repressed those feelings because I knew I needed to do really well academically my first two years. I kept telling myself that it would get better after those 2 years because my course load will get lighter. The way I planned my course load was to get the difficult stuff out of the way in the first 2 years, and take the easier classes my last two years. Now I am starting to question if anything I did the past 1.5 years was really worth it. I should have gone to my state school with my friends who have really easy course loads, and great social lives.

I didn't have a great social life in high school because all I did was study so that one day I can attend a top 10 school. Lately it seems like every decision I have made in the past 5.5 years has been a mistake.


Does it get any better after this? Anyone else in my position? What can I do to make things better?

I feel like I have sacrificed so much over the past 5.5 years (since high school) and for what? To be a social loser sitting at home, with few friends and no girlfriend.

I don't know if things will get better when I am an adult (hopefully with an M.D). Most of the above average looking girls will have married their bf from college, and most people will be hanging out with the friends they made in college, while I will be the socially awkward loser going through life with nothing to do but work.

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[shinee]

What you need is Balance my dear friend 🙂

 

[MilkmanAl]

What you need is Balance my dear friend 🙂

Seconded plus a zillion. Dear God, man, stop studying your life away. It's bad enough that you burned your high school years studying - something I didn't even know happened or was possible until I came to SDN - but don't give up college, too. You've got to have some fun in your life, or you're just going to be miserable. Chill out a bit, and go make some friends.

 

[ransofarway111]

^^^^ I am afraid that if I give in a little academically, I will start doing horribly in school. My school is really hard. I have seen some of my friends who started out freshman year studying just as hard as I did. Then first semester of sophomore year they decided to be more active socially. they ended up with a crappy 3.2 that semester. I don't want that either. Don't get me wrong, these kids still studied pretty hard that semester, just slightly less than me, and they did horribly that semester. I am afraid that if I don't go all out I will end up like some of my friends.




Also its going to be much harder to do well socially now, because all the social groups have been formed since the end of freshman year. What really worries me is that my social life will really suck as an adult, if it sucked this badly in high school and college.

 

[Dbate]

Are you kidding me? You go to a top 10 school, everyone there is/was a nerd. If they learned how to socialize, then you should as well.

I would think that nerds would find it easy to form friendships with each other.

 

[Doubtnichts]

Ugh, I fully get what you're going through. And to make it worse, my family moved to another state so my breaks are spent at home wondering wth everyone else is doing back in my old town! I too have a few friends, but we are CLOSE. And that's what you need to do, if you can't or won't go to parties then just spend the time you can with your close friends who will be there and understand that you have a hard major/university. I'd also suggest getting a roommate if you don't have one. That's really helped me.

 

[ILikeDrugs]

Damn man, your self-esteem is shot to ****. You are making up negative scenarios in your head that don't even exist nor do you know if they will exist. If you look forward to a crappy future, chances are you will end up living out that crappy future. People pick up on people's depression and stay away from it like the plague because nobody wants to be depressed. Depression is contagious. Sounds like you need to take charge of your life. If you want a social life, go out and get one. If you want a girlfriend, go out and get one. You also don't seem to appreciate your friends. You say that you "only hang out with 4 friends". Only? Just because you don't have 10,000 facebook friends doesn't mean you qualify as someone who doesn't have friends.

 

[circulus vitios]

At least you live on campus. I live at home because living on campus is too much money so I really have no social life. Oh well.

 

[ISUBird100]

OP you need to take a step back and realize that not everything in life is about grades and test scores. Yes, this is a field that does entail doing well academically and making sacrifices, but you don't need to do that all the time!

In terms of your friends, good for them. They're enjoying part of what college life is supposed to be about. A 3.2 for one semester is not the end of the world (I myself had a semester of a 3.0). It's never to late to join clubs on campus; that's how I met a lot of my friends.

Long story short, chill out and relax about grades. It's not the end of the world if you don't achieve academic perfection (I guarantee you many people on this board haven't achieved that). Go out, join some clubs, enjoy college life, and enjoy the opportunities your school has to offer.

 

[Political]

Most of the above average looking girls will have married their bf from college.
[/B]

By the time they hit 30 they would totally cheat on their husbands with a super rich (single) doctor

~27-30 is about the time you're finished with residency anyway, so win=win.

but seriously, the best way to meet new people is to join clubs and talk to people before, after and, occasionally, during lecture.

 

[kexy]

dude have hope. i am a lame, library-lurking female and even i have a boyfriend. i know what you mean about not wanting to party/slip academically because that did actually happen to me freshman year. but you obviously care about schoolwork so that's not gonna happen.
sadly it is, in my experience, damn difficult to meet people without drinking. but there are ways! i have met some very cool people through EC's and clubs. join a club! and i don't mean a pre-med volunteering society, i mean a club that does something you enjoy. it's like an hour a week, and you get to meet awesome people with similar interests. plus, if you're really focused on your app, this will actually help your app. admissions committees don't even like people with perfect GPAs and no social life. imho it's way better to have a few B's and enjoy yourself a little bit, and become a balanced/happy person. don't get into the mentality "oh i'll have a social life later when i have time" or you'll be putting it off FOREVER. you're going to be working hard in medical school, working harder in residency. don't have the 'real life starts after _____' mentality. this is your real life, NOW, so make the most of it!
and if you want to meet girls.. i'm sure there's like a dancing club that offers lessons. there are NEVER enough guys in those clubs. or take a yoga class or something, i swear there will be good looking girls everywhere. none of these things would take so much time that they would compromise your grades. promise.

and if all of this fails, have hope. in medical school everyone will be in the same boat...

 

[Techmed07]

...... but really, find a balance.

 

[Strawberries]

By the time they hit 30 they would totally cheat on their husbands with a super rich (single) doctor

~27-30 is about the time you're finished with residency anyway, so win=win.

but seriously, the best way to meet new people is to join clubs and talk to people before, after and, occasionally, during lecture.

I don't know about you, but I prefer to hit it when its still fresh and tight. 🙄

 

[ILikeDrugs]

I don't know about you, but I prefer to hit it when its still fresh and tight. 🙄

You're a virgin, aren't you?

 

[ransofarway111]

thanks for the replies guys.

Are you kidding me? You go to a top 10 school, everyone there is/was a nerd. If they learned how to socialize, then you should as well.

I would think that nerds would find it easy to form friendships with each other.

Most of these "nerds" get wasted, so they have some social life.

Damn man, your self-esteem is shot to ****. You are making up negative scenarios in your head that don't even exist nor do you know if they will exist. If you look forward to a crappy future, chances are you will end up living out that crappy future. People pick up on people's depression and stay away from it like the plague because nobody wants to be depressed. Depression is contagious. Sounds like you need to take charge of your life. If you want a social life, go out and get one. If you want a girlfriend, go out and get one. You also don't seem to appreciate your friends. You say that you "only hang out with 4 friends". Only? Just because you don't have 10,000 facebook friends doesn't mean you qualify as someone who doesn't have friends.

^^^ I agree my self-esteem is shot to ****. The only reason I felt like a loser for having 4 friends, is because most of the kids I went to high school with have a group of 20 friends that constantly hang out with.

By the time they hit 30 they would totally cheat on their husbands with a super rich (single) doctor

~27-30 is about the time you're finished with residency anyway, so win=win.

but seriously, the best way to meet new people is to join clubs and talk to people before, after and, occasionally, during lecture.

^^^ lol, they will only cheat on their husbands with the single doctor if the doctor is a social beast (in other words, has a lot of friends, knows how to socialize well). For people like me, they won't think twice about talking to us.


Since I have had a ****ty social life for the past 5.5 years, I am starting to wonder if its because I study too much, or if I have terrible social skills. If its because I have terrible social skills, then this situation will continue for a long time, which I don't want. I think they two are related though. In other words, because I spend so much time in the library and have little interaction with people, my social skills are being hurt. I am afraid if its going to turn into a never ending cycle that may continue into my late twenties.


Band- The Killers
Song-Mr. Brightside 🙁

 

[PreMedder]

but +1 @ finding a balance. if u cant balance relationships + work, ur not doing it right.

 

[Prncssbuttercup]

You're a virgin, aren't you?

LMAO, yeah, that...

Are you kidding me? You go to a top 10 school, everyone there is/was a nerd. If they learned how to socialize, then you should as well.

I would think that nerds would find it easy to form friendships with each other.

👍👍👍 This.... lets see, apply to med school with a 3.79 or a 3.8... gee... really? Take time at least once a month to be social, join academic clubs (chem, bio, med, whatever) and do things with them... Not saying you have to drink, but offer up sober-cabbing for your friends... its a popular thing... many people like having a DD that they can count on... it's cheap, gets you to the parties, and you'll have fun...

 

[JSTAR04]

it does get better 8 years from now youll be a doctor living in a mansion, lamborghinis parked outside and a beautiful wife by your side.

 

[Prncssbuttercup]

I was just thinking of that Vonage commercial where the nerdy kid is dating the girl who's driving a Ferrari, and he's like "I just don't see this going any where" OP, DON'T BE THAT KID!!!!

 

[hqt331]

If you haven't been hanging out with people for like a year, or even since high school, then yeah, maybe your social skills are a little bad. Start socializing with people pretty much every chance you get, especially with random people at first, since there'll be no pressure. Avoid talking about school/grades unless you absolutely have to, this is not as big a deal if you're talking to a premed anyway. You'll probably be thought of as nerdy and a little awkward, but that's OK. A lot of people won't care. Your main goal will be to not seem like a complete creeper. Other than that, make hobbies that will get you into contact with people on a regular basis (like clubs, sports, etc). And don't worry as much about grades, since you will get miserable if you continue like this.

 

[Chamahk]

OP, there is a time and place for everything. Don't feel bad about your social situation. Girls at this stage are trouble anyway. Also if you're looking to marry a nice girl when you get older then you have no worries. Your future wife will be soo proud of you to know you didn't mess around when you were younger. There's no honor in the drinking and partying and women and sex lifestyle at this age. No one respects that 'cept for kids in our own age group who don't know any better either. Enjoy being single now. It's a gift. Focus on your books. If it makes you feel better since I got home from break I haven't gone outside to hang out with friends or anything. Im inside all day and it was the same way in h.s. Doesn't bother me. I only chat / talk with friends. I don't make plans to hang out or anything. When I get older I can go where I want and do what I want so I'm not worried.

 

[Chamahk]

You're a virgin, aren't you?

No shame in that, man. Im a virgin also 🙂

 

[WorldChanger36]

Social life is over rated but do find some way to have fun.

 

[desi0chick]

OP, there is a time and place for everything. Don't feel bad about your social situation. Girls at this stage are trouble anyway. Also if you're looking to marry a nice girl when you get older then you have no worries. Your future wife will be soo proud of you to know you didn't mess around when you were younger. There's no honor in the drinking and partying and women and sex lifestyle at this age. No one respects that 'cept for kids in our own age group who don't know any better either. Enjoy being single now. It's a gift. Focus on your books. If it makes you feel better since I got home from break I haven't gone outside to hang out with friends or anything. Im inside all day and it was the same way in h.s. Doesn't bother me. I only chat / talk with friends. I don't make plans to hang out or anything. When I get older I can go where I want and do what I want so I'm not worried.

I agree with this statement but no not all girls are like that- don't be pessimistic and hopeless right now. OP, i'm sure you'll eventually get a social life, a wife etc. (ps i admire the fact you shared your issue, i'm sure there are many others out there like you so dont fret) Although, you should balance out and "chill" that doesn't mean you have to give up your academics. focus now (though make a few close friends), live life later, isn't that the point of being pre-med lol?

 

[OrangeandMaroon]

OP, there is a time and place for everything. Don't feel bad about your social situation. Girls at this stage are trouble anyway. Also if you're looking to marry a nice girl when you get older then you have no worries. Your future wife will be soo proud of you to know you didn't mess around when you were younger. There's no honor in the drinking and partying and women and sex lifestyle at this age. No one respects that 'cept for kids in our own age group who don't know any better either. Enjoy being single now. It's a gift. Focus on your books. If it makes you feel better since I got home from break I haven't gone outside to hang out with friends or anything. Im inside all day and it was the same way in h.s. Doesn't bother me. I only chat / talk with friends. I don't make plans to hang out or anything. When I get older I can go where I want and do what I want so I'm not worried.

This seriously saddens me. 👎

 

[MilkmanAl]

This seriously saddens me. 👎

Geez, no joke. That hurts deep inside.

One thing I always advise people like the OP to consider is that if you're studying so hard that your life disappears in undergrad (and high school 😕), coping when your workload quadruples in med school is going to be an extreme challenge, to say the least. Work on studying smarter, not harder. It'll help you now by giving you more time to socialize and generally not be miserable, and it'll allow you to not fail out of med school when the time comes.

 

[Protagonistic]

First of all I want to say congrats for getting into a top 10 university, that in itself is admirable and I am sure your parents are proud and now onto your question.

I wasted my first two years of high school with depression and being alone, didn't have a strong social life but my high school only had like 350 or so students in it. My junior year I aced everything including AP classes and same with senior year, didn't get into any top 20 schools but did get into some top 50 schools, no scholarships so I had to settle for commuting.

Well my high school social life was a waste so the summer after my high school graduation I go ALL OUT socially. Got myself a girlfriend, got myself an active social life, and I ended up having that till my very first semester of college.

Result? I was so concerned with getting a social life I got a 2.9 my first year of college, I had hopes of getting a 3.8 at least so I could transfer somewhere like to an Ivy but hey, that is out of reach now, best I can get is a 3.6.

My point!?

You only get 4 years of college to get that good GPA and work your way to med school. People think college is for active social life and partying hard but those are for people who waste their first two years and wake up their third year with a low C average knowing they are limited in what they can do in terms of pursuing their studies after college. Grades in high school matter, grades in college REALLY matter.

If you find yourself studying nearly every hour of the day to get a high GPA then do just that. You will have a life after college for a social life (as many people have told me) and girls will come when the cash starts rolling in. You will get an opportunity for finding love and finding that special someone and you will become a somebody, if you have time in your day then walk around the campus and chat with a few students for a short amount of time.

Your grades matter and I will get swarmed but believe me, you are making the right choice in caring about grades. I wish I had your ambition my first semester of college, wouldn't be sitting here a bit bothered.

Best of luck!

 

[Chamahk]

This seriously saddens me. 👎

Why?

 

[ILikeDrugs]

Girls at this stage are trouble anyway.

LOL. Riiiiight. 🙄🙄 Do you know how weird it's gonna be when you go out on your first date at 32 and tell the woman that it's is your first time that you're going out on a date? She's gonna think you're some sexually repressed serial killer. Not that you would have to tell her that it's your first date because she will know just by the way that you behave.

 

[docelh]

This thread is like the male version of a chick flick.

So sad.

 

[Chamahk]

First of all I want to say congrats for getting into a top 10 university, that in itself is admirable and I am sure your parents are proud and now onto your question.

I wasted my first two years of high school with depression and being alone, didn't have a strong social life but my high school only had like 350 or so students in it. My junior year I aced everything including AP classes and same with senior year, didn't get into any top 20 schools but did get into some top 50 schools, no scholarships so I had to settle for commuting.

Well my high school social life was a waste so the summer after my high school graduation I go ALL OUT socially. Got myself a girlfriend, got myself an active social life, and I ended up having that till my very first semester of college.

Result? I was so concerned with getting a social life I got a 2.9 my first year of college, I had hopes of getting a 3.8 at least so I could transfer somewhere like to an Ivy but hey, that is out of reach now, best I can get is a 3.6.

My point!?

You only get 4 years of college to get that good GPA and work your way to med school. People think college is for active social life and partying hard but those are for people who waste their first two years and wake up their third year with a low C average knowing they are limited in what they can do in terms of pursuing their studies after college. Grades in high school matter, grades in college REALLY matter.

If you find yourself studying nearly every hour of the day to get a high GPA then do just that. You will have a life after college for a social life (as many people have told me) and girls will come when the cash starts rolling in. You will get an opportunity for finding love and finding that special someone and you will become a somebody, if you have time in your day then walk around the campus and chat with a few students for a short amount of time.

Your grades matter and I will get swarmed but believe me, you are making the right choice in caring about grades. I wish I had your ambition my first semester of college, wouldn't be sitting here a bit bothered.

Best of luck!

👍 words of wisdom right there

 

[kb1990]

First of all I want to say congrats for getting into a top 10 university, that in itself is admirable and I am sure your parents are proud and now onto your question.

I wasted my first two years of high school with depression and being alone, didn't have a strong social life but my high school only had like 350 or so students in it. My junior year I aced everything including AP classes and same with senior year, didn't get into any top 20 schools but did get into some top 50 schools, no scholarships so I had to settle for commuting.

Well my high school social life was a waste so the summer after my high school graduation I go ALL OUT socially. Got myself a girlfriend, got myself an active social life, and I ended up having that till my very first semester of college.

Result? I was so concerned with getting a social life I got a 2.9 my first year of college, I had hopes of getting a 3.8 at least so I could transfer somewhere like to an Ivy but hey, that is out of reach now, best I can get is a 3.6.

My point!?

You only get 4 years of college to get that good GPA and work your way to med school. People think college is for active social life and partying hard but those are for people who waste their first two years and wake up their third year with a low C average knowing they are limited in what they can do in terms of pursuing their studies after college. Grades in high school matter, grades in college REALLY matter.

If you find yourself studying nearly every hour of the day to get a high GPA then do just that. You will have a life after college for a social life (as many people have told me) and girls will come when the cash starts rolling in. You will get an opportunity for finding love and finding that special someone and you will become a somebody, if you have time in your day then walk around the campus and chat with a few students for a short amount of time.

Your grades matter and I will get swarmed but believe me, you are making the right choice in caring about grades. I wish I had your ambition my first semester of college, wouldn't be sitting here a bit bothered.

Best of luck!

I definitely agree with you that grades matter. I wouldn't advocate slacking off on that at all; however, I will say that balance is important. I'll be starting medical school in August, and I can honestly say that college has been the best time of my life both socially and academically. I think the key is to not take things to extremes. And I'm definitely not trying to argue with anyone. It's tough, but finding balance is possible.

 

[WingedOx]

LOL. Riiiiight. 🙄🙄 Do you know how weird it's gonna be when you go out on your first date at 32 and tell the woman that it's is your first time that you're going out on a date? She's gonna think you're some sexually repressed serial killer.

should we bump the thread about the lifetime movie again.

/though seriously. dating med students = problems.

 

[MilkmanAl]

You will have a life after college for a social life (as many people have told me) and girls will come when the cash starts rolling in.

When would that "life after college" start? It's not during med school - except maybe 4th year - and certainly not during residency. As for the gold-diggers...ugh. The reasons why that comment sucks and is dumb should be pretty obvious to most.

If you find yourself studying nearly every hour of the day to get a high GPA then do just that. Your grades matter and I will get swarmed but believe me, you are making the right choice in caring about grades. I wish I had your ambition my first semester of college, wouldn't be sitting here a bit bothered.

Squandering college for grades is NEVER a good choice. Yes, there are times when you need to buckle down and work instead of partying, but nothing at all, med school included, is worth wrecking what should be the best years of your life for. If you study your ass off in high school to get into a great college, study in college to go to a great med school, study in med school to get a top residency, what have you done with your life? You'll seem successful on the outside, but you've actually just wasted your teens and twenties working so you can work. Like others said, you need balance. There are some who work hard and claim to enjoy it, but to me, that's just ignorance being bliss. If you don't know what you're missing and have only experience varying degress of suckiness, you're not really going to know how well you could possibly be having things. To each his own, though. If you want to crush your soul for that high GPA, be my guest. I'm going to go play Call of Duty and have a beer. 👍

 

[eli20]

No one is saying that grades aren't important...

What people are saying is that it's important to have balance.

There's more to life than your career, resume etc. Make sure you enjoy things while you have the chance, and make sure that while doing so you also prepare for your future.

 

[ILikeDrugs]

should we bump the thread about the lifetime movie again.

/though seriously. dating med students = problems.

I am super excited about that Lifetime movie. Super excited. Me and my boy friends are all gonna watch it together on the couch while eating chocolate. 🙂

 

[Protagonistic]

When would that "life after college" start? It's not during med school - except maybe 4th year - and certainly not during residency. As for the gold-diggers...ugh. The reasons why that comment sucks annd is dumb should be pretty obvious to most.

The mods on here sure as heck are bitchy.

Anyways I did tell the guy to chat with a few people when he gets time during the day. I hope he isn't studying 24/7 and he commented on his courseload being easier. Well eventually as he adjusts more and more to college he should be able to join a club or two, plus he knows for med school he will need good ECs on his resume so he will get his social interaction that way.

I am trying to tell the guy to keep on track with his grades, I mean come on you have a whole life ahead of you for social life. I know three doctors who party during breaks and on vacations they interact with people in other areas. I hate to sound like an Asian parent but grades matter and the guy is making the right decision by being on top of them.

 

[Chamahk]

LOL. Riiiiight. 🙄🙄 Do you know how weird it's gonna be when you go out on your first date at 32 and tell the woman that it's is your first time that you're going out on a date? She's gonna think you're some sexually repressed serial killer. Not that you would have to tell her that it's your first date because she will know just by the way that you behave.

Or how about self control? You know President Obama and his wife were each others first? How nice is that? Saving something like your virginity for your future spouse? Also I'm not bad at socializing lol. I can talk to girls and not act weird. You don't know my background be easy with the assumptions.

 

[docelh]

it does get better 8 years from now youll be a doctor living in a mansion, lamborghinis parked outside and a beautiful wife by your side.

Are you in high school, brah? 'cuz you ain't got no grip on reality.

OP, you either have a problem or you don't depending on what your objective is. If your objective is to "sow your wild oats", then you are missing the love boat big time.

If your objective is to find one good girl to marry, you can relax and stop hyper-ventilating. Most likely, she'll be like you and you'll meet when you're both residents at Johns Hopkins or something like that.

 

[dbeast]

1. Start drinking
2. Go to party
3. ???
4. Lose V-card!

Seriously though, I like how you think that girls from your hometown that go to your state school are out of your league while you're at Princeton or whatever ha.... That's borderline delusional.

Listen dude, these girls secretly want somebody who is going to be successful and all you need to do is be confident about the fact that you work your ass off and that it *will* pay off... My buddy goes to MIT and the fact that he ignores girls in favor of studying honestly makes them want him more. The lucky bastahd puts in zero effort and has girls calling him constantly. Unclench, re-evaluate your life, and you'll be fine.

 

[MilkmanAl]

I mean come on you have a whole life ahead of you for social life.

No, you will not have to rest of your life to be in college. College social life is much, much different than anythin else. Unless you become the creepy dude at the frat party, you'll never see that milieu again after you graduate. You can "stay on track with grades" while not holing yourself up in a library at all times. You don't have to choose between getting a 4.0 and getting black-out drunk every night. I promise that it's okay to have a 3.8 but go out on the weekend.

Or how about self control? You know President Obama and his wife were each others first? How nice is that? Saving something like your virginity for your future spouse?

Self control? I understand that people do the no sex until marriage thing for religious reasons, but let's not be holier-than-thou about it. It's a personal choice, not a display of moral character or inner strength. Personally, I would not want my spouse to be my first nor I hers, so that's not really nice at all, in my opinion. Experience gets two thumbs up from this guy for lots of reasons.

 

[WingedOx]

I am super excited about that Lifetime movie. Super excited. Me and my boy friends are all gonna watch it together on the couch while eating chocolate. 🙂

yeah, my family was watching "pawn stars" this afternoon... I finally got to see what everyone on that thread was talking about. It looks horribly hilarious.

 

[ComradeDoktor]

They all I gf's. I have never had a gf.

I think we've found the problem here. You've mentioned having a girlfriend a bazillion times in your post. Nothing keeps a guy single like desperation. Women can practically smell it on you. Trust me, I've fought this same battle. Want a girlfriend? Then stop wanting a girlfriend, and you'll be sure to end up with one.

 

[WingedOx]

I think we've found the problem here. You've mentioned having a girlfriend a bazillion times in your post. Nothing keeps a guy single like desperation. Women can practically smell it on you. Trust me, I've fought this same battle. Want a girlfriend? Then stop wanting a girlfriend, and you'll be sure to end up with one.

or just start a profile on okcupid or something. It certainly won't hurt...

 

[UpQuark]

First of all I want to say congrats for getting into a top 10 university, that in itself is admirable and I am sure your parents are proud and now onto your question.

I wasted my first two years of high school with depression and being alone, didn't have a strong social life but my high school only had like 350 or so students in it. My junior year I aced everything including AP classes and same with senior year, didn't get into any top 20 schools but did get into some top 50 schools, no scholarships so I had to settle for commuting.

Well my high school social life was a waste so the summer after my high school graduation I go ALL OUT socially. Got myself a girlfriend, got myself an active social life, and I ended up having that till my very first semester of college.

Result? I was so concerned with getting a social life I got a 2.9 my first year of college, I had hopes of getting a 3.8 at least so I could transfer somewhere like to an Ivy but hey, that is out of reach now, best I can get is a 3.6.

My point!?

You only get 4 years of college to get that good GPA and work your way to med school. People think college is for active social life and partying hard but those are for people who waste their first two years and wake up their third year with a low C average knowing they are limited in what they can do in terms of pursuing their studies after college. Grades in high school matter, grades in college REALLY matter.

If you find yourself studying nearly every hour of the day to get a high GPA then do just that. You will have a life after college for a social life (as many people have told me) and girls will come when the cash starts rolling in. You will get an opportunity for finding love and finding that special someone and you will become a somebody, if you have time in your day then walk around the campus and chat with a few students for a short amount of time.

Your grades matter and I will get swarmed but believe me, you are making the right choice in caring about grades. I wish I had your ambition my first semester of college, wouldn't be sitting here a bit bothered.

Best of luck!

THIS is absolutely TRUE!

OP I can relate almost identically to your situation. I studied hard my first two years occasionally attending parties. And you know what, I hated those frat parties and clubbing and now I realize that studying benefited me. I look at my peers and I see that they are struggling in classes, have crap GPAs, no ECs, while I'm in a great position. I also had quite a number of "friends" (notice the sarcasm here...) first two years. When I look back, only a handful of these people I can rely on and these are the people I hang out with. You don't have to party to have a social life. It hurts for sure, just hang in there, good friends will come with time (don't be bothered by the quantity of friends, quality matters), and most importantly, DON'T LOSE YOUR FOCUS.

Agreed with the majority. Balance your life.

Little optimism? Look forward to your senior year. You'll probably be in HMS and stress will be reduced by magnitudes once your in med school.

 

[Protagonistic]

You're a virgin, aren't you?

Not to get into this debate again but I am like that too. I just cannot stand the though of being the guy a woman uses when she has had her "fun" with other dudes and I am left with wasted goods.

 

[dbeast]

First of all I want to say congrats for getting into a top 10 university, that in itself is admirable and I am sure your parents are proud and now onto your question.

I wasted my first two years of high school with depression and being alone, didn't have a strong social life but my high school only had like 350 or so students in it. My junior year I aced everything including AP classes and same with senior year, didn't get into any top 20 schools but did get into some top 50 schools, no scholarships so I had to settle for commuting.

Well my high school social life was a waste so the summer after my high school graduation I go ALL OUT socially. Got myself a girlfriend, got myself an active social life, and I ended up having that till my very first semester of college.

Result? I was so concerned with getting a social life I got a 2.9 my first year of college, I had hopes of getting a 3.8 at least so I could transfer somewhere like to an Ivy but hey, that is out of reach now, best I can get is a 3.6.

My point!?

You only get 4 years of college to get that good GPA and work your way to med school. People think college is for active social life and partying hard but those are for people who waste their first two years and wake up their third year with a low C average knowing they are limited in what they can do in terms of pursuing their studies after college. Grades in high school matter, grades in college REALLY matter.

If you find yourself studying nearly every hour of the day to get a high GPA then do just that. You will have a life after college for a social life (as many people have told me) and girls will come when the cash starts rolling in. You will get an opportunity for finding love and finding that special someone and you will become a somebody, if you have time in your day then walk around the campus and chat with a few students for a short amount of time.

Your grades matter and I will get swarmed but believe me, you are making the right choice in caring about grades. I wish I had your ambition my first semester of college, wouldn't be sitting here a bit bothered.

Best of luck!

This advice is ******ed. There are more than two options (1. being party hard and get C's or 2. being a study-loner...)


OP, you go to a top 10 school, you're smart enough to get into med school. If you have to choose between having a life + 3.6 versus no life + 3.8, always choose the life. You could burn out right before step 1, blow your score and then be f-ed and regretting your social life.

/yourewelcome

 

[Prncssbuttercup]

Or how about self control? You know President Obama and his wife were each others first? How nice is that? Saving something like your virginity for your future spouse? Also I'm not bad at socializing lol. I can talk to girls and not act weird. You don't know my background be easy with the assumptions.

Ok, I'm a woman, and for the record, I do not think that having a GF is going to be the solution to social problems... I also think the guy should study, but as I said previously, make it a point to go out 1x/mo maybe 2x/mo... that isn't going to ruin your grades, but it will give you some time for a break... and drinking is no good, that's a sure fire way to shoot your gpa to crap

 

[WingedOx]

This advice is ******ed.

Only saying it because I've seen multiple people agree with it (generally don't like to call other posters out).

You go to a top 10 school, you're smart enough to get into med school. If you have to choose between having a life + 3.6 versus no life + 3.8, always choose the life. You could burn out right before step 1, blow your score and then be f-ed and regretting your social life.

/yourewelcome

yeah, this ^. If your studying makes you feel burned out socially in college, then med school is going to be absolute hell. Hell, I'm not a party person at all, but knew when it was time to kick back and have a few beers with friends around the tv or a saturday of football. Those students in college who were "studying above all" never made it to med school.

 

[MilkmanAl]

drinking is no good, that's a sure fire way to shoot your gpa to crap

Yeah, I can see how being intoxicated during time you weren't going to spend studying anyway would really blow your grades in a hurry.