Aug 26, 2020
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Hello everyone,

I know this is a topic that has been discussed throughout the years. However, I wanted to ask you advice on making friends in dental school. I am just starting my second year and, pandemic aside, I feel extremely alone in school. This past year (before the pandemic), I have tried to invite people places, asked to join study groups, and have initiated texts with several people in my class and every time, it seems like no one is interested in my company. I am an older student (early 30s), so I thought that maybe that had something to do with it. However, some of the other students my age also don't really talk to me or invite me to things. I've expressed my interest in getting together with them and have asked them to go out places numerous times, but they say they are busy and later I find out they got together without me. I am also a part of student orgs and go to class get-togethers. However, no matter what I do, no one seems to want to build a friendship with me. It has been very hard and I feel extremely alone. I am a nice person and try to help people out whenever I can. I have never had any issues making friends in my previous schooling years. Is anyone else going through something like this? Any ideas on why this is happening or suggestions on what I can do? Any input is appreciated.
 
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Pablo Sanchez

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Jul 11, 2016
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I don't know why you are struggling. From the paragraph above you seem like a good person! I can tell you that you'll get closer to new people throughout each new academic year. If people don't want to be your friend, their freaking loss. You do you. Live your life. Be confident in who you are. Accomplish your goals. They're missing out on you. Go make them regret it.
 
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Aug 26, 2020
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@Pablo Sanchez thank you for your response. That is an ideal way to look at it and I appreciate your positive viewpoint on the matter. I just don't know how to move past it since I don't know anyone else in town. The feeling of isolation is very difficult, especially since school is so academically demanding. It'd be very nice to have someone in my class to be close to and do things with as a stress reliever. I guess I should give it more time, but I have a huge fear that it will turn out the same way as last year did. That is how it is playing out this first month back. Anyway, thanks again for your kind words.






I don't know why you are struggling. From the paragraph above you seem like a good person! I can tell you that you'll get closer to new people throughout each new academic year. If people don't want to be your friend, their freaking loss. You do you. Live your life. Be confident in who you are. Accomplish your goals. They're missing out on you. Go make them regret it.
 
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knewstance

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Jun 19, 2016
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I'm not sure what's going on here. Everyone I've met at my school is super friendly so I find that to be pretty strange. Maybe all the nice people are at my school and they didn't leave any for yours?

Jokes aside, I think it would be helpful for you to seek friendship outside of the school. Social isolation during such a demanding time can be so tough. Find a volunteer position that you enjoy, maybe a rec sports team, get to know your neighbors, just be a member of the community outside of the dental school.
 
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drcobad

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Apr 13, 2020
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When I went to DS in the mid 90's, I didn't have many friends. Many of my classmates think I'm a loser. I did befriend an upperclassman. We're both Asian in a state that doesn't welcome us. He was 2 years ahead of me and I learned so much from him. I even assisted him in the practical regional Boards and learned the ins and outs. I think after the Covid BS, everyone in your class should be closer. I know many of my classmates have families so their free time was limited.
 
Aug 3, 2017
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When I went to DS in the mid 90's, I didn't have many friends. Many of my classmates think I'm a loser. I did befriend an upperclassman. We're both Asian in a state that doesn't welcome us. He was 2 years ahead of me and I learned so much from him. I even assisted him in the practical regional Boards and learned the ins and outs. I think after the Covid BS, everyone in your class should be closer. I know many of my classmates have families so their free time was limited.

Geez. Had I known you were a loser in DS .... I wouldn't have liked so many of your posts. :D

As for the OP. DS is short. It will pass. You have your whole life in front of you. Concentrate on the present.
 
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drcobad

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Geez. Had I known you were a loser in DS .... I wouldn't have liked so many of your posts. :D

As for the OP. DS is short. It will pass. You have your whole life in front of you. Concentrate on the present.

I tend to over-exaggerate. I was ~25 yrs younger, sheltered, and not very social then. I was better liked after Intramural events.
 
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schmoob

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Focus on you. Focus on school. Don’t go chasing after people who are not interested in you, it’s hard emotionally and now that you’re headed into second year you’re going to need your wits. Second year really tests your resiliency and the last thing you need are fake friends.
 
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Likkriue

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I met some of my closest friends in dental school legit 3rd year. There will be someone who you will vibe with. The ones that exclude you, don’t Waste time with them. I am an older dental student and yet my friend group is mostly younger than me. I realized how much gaming is a part of my life and found several classmates who did just that and I couldn’t be happier.

In first year I did well, and I had a lot of people come to me for help. I stayed after hours and spent time helping every single one. In second year it went a full 180 degrees and I ended up struggling in a few pre clinic courses. 75% of the people I helped didn’t make an attempt to help me. Luckily there were a few who did, and those are the people I stuck with the rest of the way. I made that mistake of trying to “chase” friends, always texting them, asking them to hang out just like you did, I was just asking all the wrong people. Now I have a great friend group who would go to the moon and back for me. Give it time, be patient.
 
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retrom0lar

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Dec 1, 2018
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I also feel socially disconnected in dental school, you are not alone! I thought that I had found my people early on, but it quickly turned into big drama and I had to amputate them like a gangrenous leg. All jokes aside, now that I have experienced being in a group and lone wolfing it, I can say that I am exponentially happier now. Like others have said, don't waste your time with people who aren't worth it. I recommend adopting the mindset of "you are in dental school to become a fabulous dentist" and focusing completely on your studies - this has really helped me. I am still hopeful that I may make some good friends in dental school, but if not, I am ready to line up all of my diplomas as my bridesmaids hahahaha. Sending good vibes your way!
 
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gryffindor

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My friends and I were all 20-somethings when we were in dental school. We also did lots of dumb things that a 30-something person probably would have been like "they're so stupid." We had one guy in his mid 30s hang out with us occasionally but he had a wife and she never came out. Now that I think back on it, anyone above 30 in our class was married, some with kids. So find yourself a spouse? Just kidding. Does your school have dental residents? Those students should be older and maybe more mature. Some of the students in the DDS-PhD programs were also older since their training was longer. I was involved in ASDA and remembering meeting lots of fun people of all ages from lots of different school that way. Seems like in this day and age, it would be easier to maintain those friendships. ASDA leaned heavily toward the 20-somethings but there were some really mature and motivated people involved as well.
 
May 7, 2019
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I am a D1 and with covid and everything, my whole class of 150 students were split into four groups when going to school. So basically have been spending my time with 35 people so far. Everyone has been kinda getting a long but I just have not gotten close to anybody. I also don't vibe well with a lot of my group because some of them came in already knowing each other and are in cliques. Basically I am feeling alone and I feel like I am being ignored in social circles that I am trying to be a part of. I thought dental school was all about meeting lifelong friends and I feel far from this, I just end up hanging out with people from my high school instead...
 

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