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Doctors are expected to be social people, but are there any asocial md applicants like me out there? How do you adjust to the expectations, but still be a relatively 'good' doctor?
Socially Awkward Doctors?
- Thread starter SamuelTesla
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Just look at this board. A good amount of the people will eventually become doctors. So I'd say the answer is yes.
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In terms of not being able to hold a lengthy conversation... which I suspect will be most detrimental during the interview season.
Being social and socially competent are two different things, although they sort of go hand in hand. Being socially competent is a skill that you can learn through trial-and-error (by participating in social situations and occasionally embarrassing yourself but eventually getting the gist of it). However, people who are socially competent are more likely to be social, because they know how to be social and how not to embarrass themselves.
From what I've seen, most asocial people remain that way out of self-consciousness or fear of embarrassment, and it becomes sort of a self-perpetuating state of mind. They are too scared to socialize because they have no social skills in the first place, yet without socializing they will never be able to acquire social skills.
As a doctor, you do need to be socially competent but you don't need to be social/extroverted.
From what I've seen, most asocial people remain that way out of self-consciousness or fear of embarrassment, and it becomes sort of a self-perpetuating state of mind. They are too scared to socialize because they have no social skills in the first place, yet without socializing they will never be able to acquire social skills.
As a doctor, you do need to be socially competent but you don't need to be social/extroverted.
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Not all socially awkward geniuses choose Engineering, some do choose Medicine. 😀
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The better your patients like you, the less likely you are to get sued.
The fact that you are aware you may be bit awkward makes me believe your really not that bad. You clearly posses the insight necessary to relate to others.
Its the ones who don't think they are awkward that you need to worry about.
The fact that you are aware you may be bit awkward makes me believe your really not that bad. You clearly posses the insight necessary to relate to others.
Its the ones who don't think they are awkward that you need to worry about.
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That's a very good point - talking is a skill like any other that improves with practice. The problem is I have always been a very quiet person, partly out of fear of embarrassment, but also out of not having anything insightful to contribute. Need to start working on that!!
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Sounds like you have a touch of an avoidant personality. I suggest taking an acting class to break out of your shell. It might be terrifying, but it will help you gain confidence.
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Avoidant traits and avoidant personality are two different things. I'm guessing you just finished your 2nd year neuro block or 3rd year psychiatry clerkship, no?
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Did I say anything about a disorder?
Socially awkward really depends on what "sociable" means, and its really a subjective term.
Someone who might be socially awkward amongst certain people, might be very comfortable around other people.
And, no I dont think that doctors HAVE to be people's people. It would just be more enjoyable for the doctor if he enjoys being around people.
Someone who might be socially awkward amongst certain people, might be very comfortable around other people.
And, no I dont think that doctors HAVE to be people's people. It would just be more enjoyable for the doctor if he enjoys being around people.
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It's entirely possible to be professional without being "social". At the most basic level, as long as you have reasonable good manners you won't be causing yourself any social problems when you are studying or working. By reasonable good manners I mean things as simple as "hello" "goodbye" "please" "thank you" and not eating with your mouth open.
As long as you are out in the world doing something positive - such as being a student - and you not alienating the people you interact with, it's highly likely that you are doing fine on the need to be social, and have no need to worry about it. Beyond that basic level, being "social" is just one of those things which gets easier with experience. It's unlikely there's any need to push it beyond what you want at any particular time.
As long as you are out in the world doing something positive - such as being a student - and you not alienating the people you interact with, it's highly likely that you are doing fine on the need to be social, and have no need to worry about it. Beyond that basic level, being "social" is just one of those things which gets easier with experience. It's unlikely there's any need to push it beyond what you want at any particular time.
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Lol it sounds like you're asking "how do I be social and still be a good doctor?" as if the two are mutually exclusive.
It's probably harder to be asocial and be a good doctor.
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The other day I shadowed this dermatologist who was, in my opinion, socially awkward. He was very nice and smart but he just didn't know how to keep a conversation alive unless it was medical. I noticed on several occassions with diff patients he would say something and then the room would go quiet. But I don't think that makes him any less of a doctor. As long as u can do ur job and keep ppl happy and healthy, it doesn't really matter. Obviously ppl like this derm because his practice is always so booked.
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If "socially awkward" means "not the extrovert that our society idealizes" then most of us in this profession fit the bill. The doc who is the life of the party is an exception.
But that doesn't have to be a bad thing. I take exception to our society's idealization of the "extrovert".
But that doesn't have to be a bad thing. I take exception to our society's idealization of the "extrovert".
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I don't think society idealizes the extrovert so much as they do the person who can show empathy and a pleasant nature to relate and put others at ease. This can be difficult for some people that are extremely introverted because they have trouble picking up on social cues and understanding the best way to put someone at ease or to give the impression that you understand and relate to them.
As someone previously mentioned, being social is a skill you learn through practice, not something you're born with. Just like no one is born funny, or good at baseball. Sure, some might have a slight advantage, but it's largely dependent on how much time and effort you put into each skill.
Want to communicate better with others? Get out there and start interacting with people more often.
Want to communicate better with others? Get out there and start interacting with people more often.
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good to know..
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It also helps to to have a broad range of knowledge as well too, and it doesn't have to be too deep either.
The I shadowed he wasn't socially awkward but he could talk to patients on topics ranging from woodworking/crafting, cars and automobiles, to truck driving. The point is, the first step to becoming more "social" is to have something to talk about. This is clearly seen by the fact that some people already noted that some people can talk to others in their respective fields just fine, but have trouble talking to others.
I know I do, I can talk to people interested in chemistry and biochemistry just fine as that's my area of interest, but I can also talk to people, albeit not as easily, in the music department, engineering, comp sci, and so other topics, as I have dabbled with all those topics in the past. So just fine your niche and run with it.
The I shadowed he wasn't socially awkward but he could talk to patients on topics ranging from woodworking/crafting, cars and automobiles, to truck driving. The point is, the first step to becoming more "social" is to have something to talk about. This is clearly seen by the fact that some people already noted that some people can talk to others in their respective fields just fine, but have trouble talking to others.
I know I do, I can talk to people interested in chemistry and biochemistry just fine as that's my area of interest, but I can also talk to people, albeit not as easily, in the music department, engineering, comp sci, and so other topics, as I have dabbled with all those topics in the past. So just fine your niche and run with it.
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I don't know what your basis for saying this is but I want to say that the pathologists I've had the pleasure to see working together have been very collegial and collaborative (granted they were residents and fellows but I was amazed at the scholarly nature of their every day work with the room with multiple microscopes with two sets of eye pieces and the wall of reference books.) They were chatty and pleasant.
I have worked with a couple of pathologists who had other interests as well (which is how I had the luck to work with them) and they were very interesting men with whom I had many very enjoyable conversations on a wide variety of topics. They tend to be very well read and very intellectual.
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THANK YOU! It is so nice to hear this for a change. I know I'm only an MS1, so my interests will probably change (or so I've been told), but I am most interested in pathology right now. I am a very social person (maybe not the life of the party every Friday/Saturday night but I'll usually be there, not standing in a corner alone). The pathologists I've met have been exactly like the ones you described. However, there are stereotypes that follow any specialty, and if it gets under your skin every time, seems like it's probably not the right choice for you.
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Yes, I don't think most people would of thought that I'm going to medical school. I was always the quiet one in school. Still am, really. 🙂
As for your question: I try to be more comfortable with small talk-ing with people by joining various clubs (running club, premed club) and taking social jobs (child development center as a TA). Gets me out of my comfort zone, prepares me for medical school, and gives me experience with children.
So that's all you could do really, practice. But I don't think doctors have to be sociable. My doctor, to whom I went for back and knee pain, talked real fast and forced the small talk when there was that "taking a breath" pause. But she was an excellent doctor, and it turned out that she was a runner too. Bonus.
As for your question: I try to be more comfortable with small talk-ing with people by joining various clubs (running club, premed club) and taking social jobs (child development center as a TA). Gets me out of my comfort zone, prepares me for medical school, and gives me experience with children.
So that's all you could do really, practice. But I don't think doctors have to be sociable. My doctor, to whom I went for back and knee pain, talked real fast and forced the small talk when there was that "taking a breath" pause. But she was an excellent doctor, and it turned out that she was a runner too. Bonus.
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Many of the pathologists and radiologists I know are fun people to talk to, and some are downright gregarious. However, in both fields it is acceptable to completely nerd out and be a machine, so it is a refuge for people who like the science of medicine more than the people. That doesn't mean you can't be a really cool person and go into either field, or that if you do it means you are some kind of lame-o dork. You will simply be dealing with other doctors rather than patients, and doctors are more likely to judge you based on the quality of your work than on the flash of your smile.
The lame-o dorks tend towards nephrology anyway...
out of even the normal population, you won't find that half are not weird...
now take the % of the normal population in college, then the % of that % that are pre-med...and then the % of doctors... you'll find that most are weird...
i pretty much experience it every single day. that's why you need non pre med, non science people.
Dr. 90210?? Dr. Rey?? Yea, that guy might seem smooth, but he's awkward as hell in interviews. I can dig the confidence though
now take the % of the normal population in college, then the % of that % that are pre-med...and then the % of doctors... you'll find that most are weird...
i pretty much experience it every single day. that's why you need non pre med, non science people.
Dr. 90210?? Dr. Rey?? Yea, that guy might seem smooth, but he's awkward as hell in interviews. I can dig the confidence though
