Socially inept

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CuteElectron

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I feel like such a loser and ashamed...

I never felt so socially inept before........ Well, I always have been like that from the beginning..

What's wrong with me?

I just have a hard time befriending other people......

I feel really uncomfortable around people who are not my family. (This means I have no real friend... only people whose reasons for talking to me is to talk about things like "What did you get on your exam"? :( I'm miserable)

This part of me has to change any time soon but how?

A main reason for my social awkwardness is probably my improficiency in English, which is my second language and I have a different personality when talking in English compared to my native language..............

In my native language I'm really outgoing and social, but in English, I'm a different person... :(

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I feel like such a loser and ashamed...

I never felt so socially inept before........ Well, I always have been like that from the beginning..

What's wrong with me?

I just have a hard time befriending other people......

I feel really uncomfortable around people who are not my family.

This part of me has to change any time soon but how?

I had the same problem for a long time (I moved to a brand new school, city in the middle of my undergrad career and b/c of school wasn't able to make any friends for a while).

I guess the first step is to regain and rebuild your own self confidence. I did this by writing down everything I liked about myself. Then I made a point of going up and talking to people on the bus, in class ("were you inclass last week I need the notes" is a good opener).

Happy friend hunting!
 
I'll bite.

Troll?

Cuz your post #1 is pretty darned trollish:
http://forums.studentdoctor.net/showpost.php?p=6340468&postcount=1

In another post, you talk about playing some video game 4 hrs a day.

But in case you are not a troll, here is my advice:

Throw away the video game, go out somewhere you enjoy being (maybe an art museum or wherever) and get some fresh air...and work on being a member of the human race.
 
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say hi to strangers once a day.
 
Either way you're most likely going to have to step out of your comfort zone to force to self to be social and interact with others. Perhaps join a club so that you're surrounded by people who enjoy the same things as you.
 
Another thing about clubs: The two people I consider my best friends right now I've known my entire life, but I didn't start hanging out with them till senior year high school when I played on the basketball team with them.

Close association does promote friendship!
 
Id guess troll, but failing that Id suggest anti anxiety meds. Theres actually a decent chance its covered by your health insurance. See a doctor.
 
Ok, without sounding like a terrible person...well never mind, this is going to sound bad...I think you are just fine...at least taking my undergraduate pre-med population as a representative sample, I have found that a frightening number of pre-meds are amazingly socially inept...
 
To those who said I was a troll, kiss my ***.

To others, thanks for the advice.


I think you are just fine...at least taking my undergraduate pre-med population as a representative sample, I have found that a frightening number of pre-meds are amazingly socially inept...
Med schools most often reject such people, don't they?
 
I feel like such a loser and ashamed...

I never felt so socially inept before........ Well, I always have been like that from the beginning..

What's wrong with me?

I just have a hard time befriending other people......

I feel really uncomfortable around people who are not my family. (This means I have no real friend... only people whose reasons for talking to me is to talk about things like "What did you get on your exam"? :( I'm miserable)

This part of me has to change any time soon but how?

A main reason for my social awkwardness is probably my improficiency in English, which is my second language and I have a different personality when talking in English compared to my native language..............

In my native language I'm really outgoing and social, but in English, I'm a different person... :(

Try out Toastmasters
 
I feel like such a loser and ashamed...

I never felt so socially inept before........ Well, I always have been like that from the beginning..

What's wrong with me?

I just have a hard time befriending other people......

I feel really uncomfortable around people who are not my family. (This means I have no real friend... only people whose reasons for talking to me is to talk about things like "What did you get on your exam"? :( I'm miserable)

This part of me has to change any time soon but how?

A main reason for my social awkwardness is probably my improficiency in English, which is my second language and I have a different personality when talking in English compared to my native language..............

In my native language I'm really outgoing and social, but in English, I'm a different person... :(

it's tough, but you probably have a high MCAT score no?
Anyways, try to think about what makes good conversations. Look up some stuff on espn, cnn, or some humorous websites like theonion.com.
Join a club at your college
The #1 rule I have for myself is never to talk about academics outside of class. Class is for academics; and that is that. Study, yes, but don't talk frivolously about academics that you won't be pursuing anyways (after all, you ARE going to med school)
instead, talk abotu sports, talk about hot movies, your favorite music and the such.
I'm sure over time you'll figure it out. Oh yea, if worse comes to worse, juts listen to other people without judging. Ask them questions about what they say. A lot of time they're complaining. Even if initially people are asking you about grades and whatnot, be humble and try to divert the convo to something more interesting, like surfing, sex, etc.
 
People like happy people. Be happy because you have a great family, a gifted mind, and live in a country that gives you every opportunity and freedom you could ask for. (And I'm sure you probably have many other reasons to be happy as well.) Smile...a lot. Take a genuine interest in those around you, because there really is a lot more to life than classes and books. Ask people about themselves. How was their day? Their weekend? Why are they in your genetics class? (i.e., what are their future plans?) What are their interests outside of class? To be liked by others, you don't have to be a great conversationalist, astoundingly funny, or magnetically charismatic. All you really have to do is to like yourself, treat others with respect, and take an interest in getting to know those around you and letting them get to know you.
 
(assuming you are not a troll, OP)
To be liked by others, you don't have to be a great conversationalist, astoundingly funny, or magnetically charismatic. All you really have to do is to like yourself, treat others with respect, and take an interest in getting to know those around you and letting them get to know you.

QFT

also, if i were u, id step up my effort in finding people who speak my native language.
 
Do you struggle with plain old English plus slang? Is there a way you can take an ESL class or even find a tutor to go over the rough parts of English and slang with you?

You might consider asking people who have been nice in the past what certain words or phrases mean, particularly slang. Especially girls, they're the most likely to think it's endearing.

Is there an ESL club at your school?
 
Invest in Rosetta Stone or some knock off if your cash is tight. Confidence in English will help. Be nice and smile a lot. Offer to help people. Don't kiss A or be fake, just don't whine/complain, stay positive and respect others/share, whatever. Most people like positive people and get annoyed with whiney negative people. Join some EC's and spend time with others. Your niceness will attract them. So will candy.
 
Id guess troll, but failing that Id suggest anti anxiety meds. Theres actually a decent chance its covered by your health insurance. See a doctor.

Horrible advice. Medication does not solve all problems. Also, I see no reference to freaking out in public, just making friends and feeling comfortable around strangers. I would not want you as my doctor Perrotfish. First instinct is to drug, the lazy and easy approach. Sad understanding of people.
 
I dont know if this is a trolling attempt or not but here goes...its all in your head and how you perceive yourself. there is no reason for lack of self confidence if you actually believe in your capabilities and do what you say.



I feel like such a loser and ashamed...

I never felt so socially inept before........ Well, I always have been like that from the beginning..

What's wrong with me?

I just have a hard time befriending other people......

I feel really uncomfortable around people who are not my family. (This means I have no real friend... only people whose reasons for talking to me is to talk about things like "What did you get on your exam"? :( I'm miserable)

This part of me has to change any time soon but how?

A main reason for my social awkwardness is probably my improficiency in English, which is my second language and I have a different personality when talking in English compared to my native language..............

In my native language I'm really outgoing and social, but in English, I'm a different person... :(
 
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