some advice on my PS opening please

[vberries]

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Hi everyone, I'm starting my personal statement b/c my professor wants to read it before she writes me a recommendation letter. I just need some advice on the first 2 sentences of my opening. Here it is....

.“The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don't know anything about.” Dentistry was my form of ignorance.

.My question is does the second sentence make sense? Or is there a way to convey how I was ignorant about dentistry and still be a smooth transition from the quote?

Any advice is much appreciated. Thankyou

 

[TeamGuo]

quotes are very cheesy. I would try to start with something more casual, not something that's like in your face. That's just my opinion.

 

[smile101]

I think your quote is okay...you just have to work it into your essay. I actually don't like your 2nd sentence because its an obvious thing I thought right when I read your quote. So there wasn't any catch. Make a smoother transition explaining how dentistry was your ignorance.

 

[DentGuy]

Do you think that quote is strong enough to gain the reader's interest? I think you should find a more positive quote.

 

[harrygt]

Nope, it does not make sense to me at all.
"Dentistry was my form of ignorance" ---conclucion--->Dentistry is a form of ignorance. Wait, what? Is dentistry a form of ignorance?
You definitely have to change it. BTW, I was advised not to start with quotes or general sentences. I suggest you to start talking about yourself right from the begining. It can be more natural and interesting.
By the way, hurry up. I postponed my PS for about 6 weeks, and finished the whole thing in three days once I woke up from the procrastination. take your time, but also do try to finish it up quickly, and submit ASAP. GL

 

[creative8401]

Nope, it does not make sense to me at all.
"Dentistry was my form of ignorance" ---conclucion--->Dentistry is a form of ignorance. Wait, what? Is dentistry a form of ignorance?
You definitely have to change it. BTW, I was advised not to start with quotes or general sentences. I suggest you to start talking about yourself right from the begining. It can be more natural and interesting.
By the way, hurry up. I postponed my PS for about 6 weeks, and finished the whole thing in three days once I woke up from the procrastination. take your time, but also do try to finish it up quickly, and submit ASAP. GL

I agree. My first impression was what in the world does that have to do with dentistry; ignorance and dentistry. You will have to waste a lot of lines to explain what that means and the PS is not about that. Start by talking about yourself, perhaps how you would not think that dentistry was the career for you, and how it all changed. This would be a good catch the reader as it would draw the readers attention to see how you changed and what made you decide about dentistry.

Quotes, chessy lines, smiles in peoples faces, broken teeth and suddenly you wanting to be a dentist...they have heard it all, be truthful and it will make your PS stand out. Good luck.

 

[hoss19]

if you really believe that this quote will make your essay stand out, then go for it. using it to open though might be a gamble. I used a quote (from a person I know) in my introductory paragraph, and i think it bolstered the message that i wanted to bring across in my PS.

 

[AlwaysImproving]

I also agree with previous people. I don't think you should use this quote. It seems negative. Start with something positive and passionate about the profession.😀

 

[Dentgirl09]

i think maybe the personal anectode that describes this quote may serve as a more positive and better intro than the quote you have described above. I think it being your personal statement, you should stray away from using other people's words unless it really describes you or holds meaning to you BEYOND simply having herad it once or twice. ADCOMS can probably sniff that out...It is def hard to write a PS ...esp in a limited amount of psace... good luck!

 

[Doh Boy Fresh]

these words that you have randomly strung together to form an essay are terrible. DON'T use this random, terrible example you have come up with!!!

Do NOT listen to all the nice people above me; im telling you the truth: You need to not start with massacring the English language.

Ok, good luck. IF you google "aadsas personal statements" on google...some kid has put up example personal statements on his blog...take a look at some of those for inspiration.

 

[vlct0ria]

Sorry OP, just have a quick kind of related question that I don't think needs its own thread...I'm applying next cycle, and just wondering, how long do PS usually need to be? The limit's 4500 (right?), but I'm sure not everyone writes that much...and is it double or single spacing (does it matter?) ?

 

[Dentgirl09]

Sorry OP, just have a quick kind of related question that I don't think needs its own thread...I'm applying next cycle, and just wondering, how long do PS usually need to be? The limit's 4500 (right?), but I'm sure not everyone writes that much...and is it double or single spacing (does it matter?) ?

It is 4500 Characters...not words... which really is only 1 page. So its not really that much space. You gotta be to the point and concise, I feel.

 

[vlct0ria]

It is 4500 Characters...not words... which really is only 1 page. So its not really that much space. You gotta be to the point and concise, I feel.

HA, well characters makes MUCH more sense...I was thinking, 'how on Earth can anyone write 4500 words? That's almost 20 pages!'...turns out I'm just a dummy. Thanks!

 

[vberries]

Thanks for the input everyone. That opening is definitely going out the door. Someone mentioned in the previous post that I should start off with something positive about dentistry instead of negative. But, the truth is I hated going to the dentist when I was a kid which prevented me from considering dentistry as an option until the end of college. If I start off somewhere along these lines and go into how I discover why dentistry is right for me, would that be too bad? I agree it doesn't sound very positive at the beginning but I was hoping to show AADSAS how I've matured along the way. Or should I just stick to something good about dentistry, but isn't that what al ot of people is doing?

Hopefully everyone can continue to give me more input.

 

[losdientes]

I would never use a quote that is not an original. It is cliche and does not express your own voice. It's called a personal statement for a reason.

If you hated Dentistry as a child, you could open up with a narration of a past scenario, expressing your fear of going to the Dentist when you were younger. You could then elaborate with the experiences that led to a change in heart. I don't see anything wrong with admitting you hated Dentists as a child, many do. The fact that you grew up to respect the profession is what is commendable.

 

[Dentgirl09]

Thanks for the input everyone. That opening is definitely going out the door. Someone mentioned in the previous post that I should start off with something positive about dentistry instead of negative. But, the truth is I hated going to the dentist when I was a kid which prevented me from considering dentistry as an option until the end of college. If I start off somewhere along these lines and go into how I discover why dentistry is right for me, would that be too bad? I agree it doesn't sound very positive at the beginning but I was hoping to show AADSAS how I've matured along the way. Or should I just stick to something good about dentistry, but isn't that what al ot of people is doing?

Hopefully everyone can continue to give me more input.

Just try starting off with something positive, and then do a flashback to the story if you feel it is important. It is really amuch better idea ot make sure everything you say sounds POSITIVE, regardless of how negative it may be.

Ex: my gpa is bad..... But check out my soph, junior, senior year gpa.

Ex 2: since freshman year, i have been learned this __________ which has allowed me to this: _______ (manage time..... maintain a high GPA.... etc)

give concrete examples and try to stick to the positive spin as much as possible. obv my example was not written well by any means but i hope it got the point across. basically, the WAY you say it is REALLY important!!! and there is always more than one way to say it! Everyone on here can give you input on possible ways to write it but only you can come up with an intro that sounds genuine and from the heart. I think beyond the actual content, that is a major part of its importance as well. Sorry about spelling / grammar mistakes..i replied really quick. Hope it helped a little, at least.

 

[rewJW]

I started my PS out very simply, "This is how I became interested in dentistry..." ... that's not word for word, but you get the idea. Plain and simple delved right into it.