Hi. I have never posted a request like this to a forum, and it's quite uncharacteristic of me. But I desperately need the help of my peers in deciding my best course of action. I am caught in a serious dilemma and I really need some advice about what I should be doing now to help my own cause.
MY STORY:
I graduated med school in 2006, and matched into a categorical university general surgery program. While serving in that role, I was literally a glutton for punishment... My work ethic was superior to my classmates. In terms of academic knowlege, during both years, I not only PASSED but also out-performed most of my fellow residents on the yearly exam (ABSITE).
MY PROBLEM: I suffer from a very mild benign resting tremor. Looking back, I'm sure this mild condition was worsened by stress, lack of sleep, caffeine, and fear (OF SHAKING, ironically enough!!)...
LONG STORY SHORT: Despite nothing but stellar resident performance reviews, I suddenly received word via written communication that the faculty felt that my tremor (or as they dubbed it--"performance anxiety") precluded any further training in surgery beyond the second year of residency.
MY RESPONSE: I responded with the worst possible recourse: I tried to FIGHT IT! I lowered my head and pummelled away, convinced that exerting myself 5x as much as usual, and religiously taking my beta-blocker, I believed I would change the faculty's decision. I would show them their own mistake in letting me go...
Now I know that my best action would have been to simply resign and find another program into which I could transfer. But instead, I fought tooth and nail, worked harder than ever, focused solely on my present duties all the way up to July 1st, 2008.
Of course I was wrong trying to change their minds. But no one can deny the sheer determination and self-confidence I demonstrated by committing to complete what I had begun. I also suffer from chronic loyalty to my superiors and I remained protective of their interests despite my belief of being "unfairly" treated--not once have I threatened or pursued legal recourse for the rampant sexism & bigotry shown by faculty, nor have I mentioned their blatant disregard for the 80-hour work week.
WHAT I DID AFTER JULY 1, 2008:
I had accumulated a decent monetary cushion from saving 20% of every paycheck for 2 years. So, I felt NO RUSH to transfer into a new field!
1. I rested. It must have taken 3 or 4 weeks before I was fully caught up on my sleep!
2. I began to explore my own interests, to ponder various futures, and to repair my marriage.
3. I read as many books as I could get my hands on. I found great interest in the history and teachings of philosophy.
4. I started and wrote on SEVERAL BOOK/WRITING PROJECTS. I have a dream of being a writer...
5. Just recently I started registering with ERAS so i can get access to the scramble.
6. Have been mass-emailing program directors for last 2 months with intro and copy of my CV...it seems no one is interested.
Why would I delay finding a replacement residency position? Several reasons: Having been recently disillusioned, I wanted a break from the grind--and more importantly, I wanted some breathing room to make an honest, intelligent, informed decision about what field I would pursue and I was determined to do so only after an honest, thorough self-appraisal. I was NOT going to make the same mistake twice.
As long as I can remember, I have wanted to be a writer, to create compelling and vivid landscapes using nothing but words, to author NON-fiction, while achieving the creative, inspirational, moving effects that are normally associated with fiction and novels. and in this pursuit of writing, in the time since July 2008, I have accomplished MUCH PROGRESS in several writing projects.
I have developed some extensive/detailed outlines for books I believe would be very profitable.
While I am certainly NOT giving up on my writing dream, I have essentially run out of resources to keep this dream alive right now. Likewise, after my initial attempt to find an employer, I have begun to feel pressured to do something (ANYTHING) NOW, and I have become anxious and depressed regarding my current employment-situation.
I know I would make a STELLAR resident in Internal Medicine, Emergency Medicine, or Radiology...I'm beginning to consider Pediatrics and Family Medicine as well. While I have a profound interest and appreciation for psychology, I have made the informed decision NOT to pursue psychiatry as a career. Basically, my reasons are in line with my "self-help"-oriented writing ambitions. My belief is that talk therapy is far superior to casting life-long judgements of patient's "problems" (diagnoses) and then throwing pills at the problem, avoiding interaction or intimacy at all costs.
I have a proven record of outstanding committment to excellence. My bedside manner is impeccable; genuinely interested in patient's and their family's concerns, while demonstrating warmth, compassion, companionship, and determination for accurate diagnosis and counseling for an informed, shared decision regarding potential treatment options.
MY CURRENT PLANS / STRATEGIES / JOB-HUNTING:
Research Position: Despite my best attempts to find a 'one-year' position in post-doctoral research, I found this to be nearly impossible. The only 'offer' I have gotten was contingent on my acceptance of a PhD slot... unfortunately, I'm almost positive that I don't want to be an MD/PhD. Otherwise, it seems that this economy has severely affected the hiring potential for this kind of job.
The Scramble: I will have my FREIDA application completed and online early this week--but i'm not even sure that this is early enough to be included in the scramble. At this point, I don't mind being a PGY-1 again, nor would I mind a preliminary or transitional year.
"Finding" a Transfer Position: This is the largely-ineffective approach that I have been using for the last month... I have been emailing my CV and a brief statement of my intentions to every program director listed in FREIDA for IM, EM, & Rads. From this effort, I have gotten one SINGLE unexpected interview to fill a potential opening for a PGY-2 at a great EM program...That program director told me he would make his decision by march 1st, but I am very insecure and pessimistic about my chances with this job.
The Military. I had hoped to avoid this route but if they could have me working in a clinical setting essentially right now, then this might be my best/only option.
Moonlighting. Currently, I am not licensed, as Step 3 was not a requirement of my residency. However, I am scheduled to take Step 3 in 2 weeks. My state license has been 'in limbo' for the last 6 weeks, and I expect them to take their sweet time following my completion of Step 3. Therefore, I don't think that moonlighting is an option for me.
SOMEONE PLEASE GIVE ME SOME ADVISE, DIRECTION, CRITICISM, or INSIGHT INTO MY OWN SITUATION AND HOW I CAN FIND MYSELF A RESIDENCY OPPORTUNITY??--actually just ANY kind of job/career/employment advice would be GREATLY appreciated!!
Thanks a lot for reading (ANY) of this...I know it's very long, but I feel that writing all this has been quite therapeutic to me and could lead me closer to an answer just by virtue of being more specific with my problem.
-Doctor Dr
MY STORY:
I graduated med school in 2006, and matched into a categorical university general surgery program. While serving in that role, I was literally a glutton for punishment... My work ethic was superior to my classmates. In terms of academic knowlege, during both years, I not only PASSED but also out-performed most of my fellow residents on the yearly exam (ABSITE).
MY PROBLEM: I suffer from a very mild benign resting tremor. Looking back, I'm sure this mild condition was worsened by stress, lack of sleep, caffeine, and fear (OF SHAKING, ironically enough!!)...
LONG STORY SHORT: Despite nothing but stellar resident performance reviews, I suddenly received word via written communication that the faculty felt that my tremor (or as they dubbed it--"performance anxiety") precluded any further training in surgery beyond the second year of residency.
MY RESPONSE: I responded with the worst possible recourse: I tried to FIGHT IT! I lowered my head and pummelled away, convinced that exerting myself 5x as much as usual, and religiously taking my beta-blocker, I believed I would change the faculty's decision. I would show them their own mistake in letting me go...
Now I know that my best action would have been to simply resign and find another program into which I could transfer. But instead, I fought tooth and nail, worked harder than ever, focused solely on my present duties all the way up to July 1st, 2008.
Of course I was wrong trying to change their minds. But no one can deny the sheer determination and self-confidence I demonstrated by committing to complete what I had begun. I also suffer from chronic loyalty to my superiors and I remained protective of their interests despite my belief of being "unfairly" treated--not once have I threatened or pursued legal recourse for the rampant sexism & bigotry shown by faculty, nor have I mentioned their blatant disregard for the 80-hour work week.
WHAT I DID AFTER JULY 1, 2008:
I had accumulated a decent monetary cushion from saving 20% of every paycheck for 2 years. So, I felt NO RUSH to transfer into a new field!
1. I rested. It must have taken 3 or 4 weeks before I was fully caught up on my sleep!
2. I began to explore my own interests, to ponder various futures, and to repair my marriage.
3. I read as many books as I could get my hands on. I found great interest in the history and teachings of philosophy.
4. I started and wrote on SEVERAL BOOK/WRITING PROJECTS. I have a dream of being a writer...
5. Just recently I started registering with ERAS so i can get access to the scramble.
6. Have been mass-emailing program directors for last 2 months with intro and copy of my CV...it seems no one is interested.
Why would I delay finding a replacement residency position? Several reasons: Having been recently disillusioned, I wanted a break from the grind--and more importantly, I wanted some breathing room to make an honest, intelligent, informed decision about what field I would pursue and I was determined to do so only after an honest, thorough self-appraisal. I was NOT going to make the same mistake twice.
As long as I can remember, I have wanted to be a writer, to create compelling and vivid landscapes using nothing but words, to author NON-fiction, while achieving the creative, inspirational, moving effects that are normally associated with fiction and novels. and in this pursuit of writing, in the time since July 2008, I have accomplished MUCH PROGRESS in several writing projects.
I have developed some extensive/detailed outlines for books I believe would be very profitable.
While I am certainly NOT giving up on my writing dream, I have essentially run out of resources to keep this dream alive right now. Likewise, after my initial attempt to find an employer, I have begun to feel pressured to do something (ANYTHING) NOW, and I have become anxious and depressed regarding my current employment-situation.
I know I would make a STELLAR resident in Internal Medicine, Emergency Medicine, or Radiology...I'm beginning to consider Pediatrics and Family Medicine as well. While I have a profound interest and appreciation for psychology, I have made the informed decision NOT to pursue psychiatry as a career. Basically, my reasons are in line with my "self-help"-oriented writing ambitions. My belief is that talk therapy is far superior to casting life-long judgements of patient's "problems" (diagnoses) and then throwing pills at the problem, avoiding interaction or intimacy at all costs.
I have a proven record of outstanding committment to excellence. My bedside manner is impeccable; genuinely interested in patient's and their family's concerns, while demonstrating warmth, compassion, companionship, and determination for accurate diagnosis and counseling for an informed, shared decision regarding potential treatment options.
MY CURRENT PLANS / STRATEGIES / JOB-HUNTING:
Research Position: Despite my best attempts to find a 'one-year' position in post-doctoral research, I found this to be nearly impossible. The only 'offer' I have gotten was contingent on my acceptance of a PhD slot... unfortunately, I'm almost positive that I don't want to be an MD/PhD. Otherwise, it seems that this economy has severely affected the hiring potential for this kind of job.
The Scramble: I will have my FREIDA application completed and online early this week--but i'm not even sure that this is early enough to be included in the scramble. At this point, I don't mind being a PGY-1 again, nor would I mind a preliminary or transitional year.
"Finding" a Transfer Position: This is the largely-ineffective approach that I have been using for the last month... I have been emailing my CV and a brief statement of my intentions to every program director listed in FREIDA for IM, EM, & Rads. From this effort, I have gotten one SINGLE unexpected interview to fill a potential opening for a PGY-2 at a great EM program...That program director told me he would make his decision by march 1st, but I am very insecure and pessimistic about my chances with this job.
The Military. I had hoped to avoid this route but if they could have me working in a clinical setting essentially right now, then this might be my best/only option.
Moonlighting. Currently, I am not licensed, as Step 3 was not a requirement of my residency. However, I am scheduled to take Step 3 in 2 weeks. My state license has been 'in limbo' for the last 6 weeks, and I expect them to take their sweet time following my completion of Step 3. Therefore, I don't think that moonlighting is an option for me.
SOMEONE PLEASE GIVE ME SOME ADVISE, DIRECTION, CRITICISM, or INSIGHT INTO MY OWN SITUATION AND HOW I CAN FIND MYSELF A RESIDENCY OPPORTUNITY??--actually just ANY kind of job/career/employment advice would be GREATLY appreciated!!
- How will I find a job?
- Am I going about this search in the right way?? (blasting my CV to program directors all over the place?)
- Perhaps there is a website where I can post my CV? ...even a "head-hunter" would be ok right now.
- Does anyone have suggestions for me??
Thanks a lot for reading (ANY) of this...I know it's very long, but I feel that writing all this has been quite therapeutic to me and could lead me closer to an answer just by virtue of being more specific with my problem.
-Doctor Dr