Spouses/SOs really aren't under scrutiny. Neither we, the resident corps, nor YOU - their spouse/SO will spending enough time with them to worry about how well they fit in. However, YOU do need to worry about his/her ability to be happy & enjoy the community & environment surrounding your program. So, it is definitely in your best interest for them to accompany you & then compose your match list cooperatively.
"If momma ain't happy; ain't nobody happy!"