strange Q n a little personal

[tinu]

Recently on a date I faced "Being a pharmacist is such an easy job. What do they really do?" Later on he called me and continued "What kinda job do they get? Will you be able to get a job in LA/LA suburbs area? How much salary do they get?" I didn't know how to react. I managed to stammer a few words (I know I should have been more aggressive) b'coz I was just trying not to spew bad words there, pity him for his lack of general awareness. Finally I decided I had enough and I said "You are a SW engineer, why don't you google this information. It will give you an exact and unbiased information as to what do pharmacists do." How would you field this (in a respectable manner)?
My point of focus is not that he is asking me financial Qs (I know thats a red flag) but the fact that he doesn't know what a pharmacist does. So, I'm wondering how would you field that?
Thank you.

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[bananaface]

This was on a date? First off, don't insult your date by telling them to Google a question about your a career choice. Describe the job. If your date said they were a building foreman and you didn't know what that involved, it would be perfectly fair to say, "So, what does that involve?" It doesn't show ignorance, it shows interest. Second, notice the red flag when they start grilling you about salary.

 

[tinu]

Thank you banana face.
I didn't notice that I was insulting him. Thanx for pointing it out to me.
- I said so b'coz he started asking financial Qs too soon. He also asked me if I had loans and how much. It was way too soon (and on phone after 1st date).
- This is what I didn't understand with him: Pharmacies are so common and it feels to me like there is a general awareness these days that pharmacists, dentists, physicians, nurses make comfortable money n have good job opportunities. So, I was just really startled. People from various non-medical related professions know that as well due to articles published in forbes, usa today, etc.

 

[starrfishes]

Such a turn-off. Asking about salary on an early date?? How about learning more about you? This guy has no dating etiquette.

 

[BMBiology]

I said "You are a SW engineer, why don't you google this information.

Your first mistake is by agreeing to go on a date with an engineer.

 

[StallionRx]

Finance talk on date 1? Id be out of there super fast.

 

[tinu]

Your first mistake is by agreeing to go on a date with an engineer.

I'm surprised that you would say that. Why? Can you elaborate?

 

[tinu]

I understand that there was red flag. I can see that.
But the reason I posted this Q here is how do you deal with people that are so ignorant? I'm not saying that they should know the drugs but he didn't seem to really know what a pharmacist is or have any general idea of what they do. That is something I didn't know how to handle.

 

[Old Timer]

I understand that there was red flag. I can see that.
But the reason I posted this Q here is how do you deal with people that are so ignorant? I'm not saying that they should know the drugs but he didn't seem to really know what a pharmacist is, or have any general idea of what they do. That is something I didn't know how to handle.

It sort of depends on the conversation and the tone of the question. You can go into an explanation of what a pharmacist does or you can use the snarky answer a colleague gave when he was getting crap from an assistant manager.

Go out front and stack some toilet paper, we're saving lives back here.

You insert the appropriate activity of the questioner....

 

[BravoKilo]

but he didn't seem to really know what a pharmacist is, or have any general idea of what they do. That is something I didn't know how to handle.

Not to come off as rude, but you're a practicing pharmacist and still don't know how to handle this question? Since day 1 of pharmacy school (heck, even when I decided to go into the field when I was still in undergrad) I've met a countless number of people that really don't know exactly what a pharmacist does or resorts to the question everyone asks.. "4 additional years of school? Why don't you just be a doctor??"

If you like the guy, take a quick minute or two to tell him what it is you really do. If you don't like him, point out the fact that you probably make more than him and call it a day

 

[YiYaoYue]

First of all... guys rarely care about what a girl does for a living. In fact I would say pharmacist is a huge step up in terms of occupation from most of the women he probably has dated considering he's just an engineer and not like CEO or something.

I think he might be a little threaten though... he may feel like he isn't the "man" of the relationship so that might be why he is belittling your occupation a bit saying it is "easy." But I guess its hard to say without really knowing his facial expression and tone.

He could also just be a typical "nerd" so he just doesn't know what to say in front of a girl and change topics to other things, so he is just asking you bunch of questions about the first thing that came up and that is usually "what do you do?" Something to keep away from awkward silence.

I think you should just change the topic after giving him basic information like where you work and telling him you make sure there are no adverse drug interactions, etc etc. Probably not a good idea to get into specific details and ramble on about pharmacy. If he keeps nosing in on pharmacy than ask him why he is so curious about your profession.

 

[LoKoTe]

And you can always tell him pharmacists in general get paid a decent amount of money, but you're getting paid around 25k a year for the next 5 years, since you're in a residency program. That'll help you see if he's really interested in the financial aspect

 

[WVUPharm2007]

Man...I really pity some guys. Just find someone who is more smooth. Are most dudes this ******ed? I'll insult her profession...that'll get me laid....

 

[bluesickle]

^^^ Not most guys but most SW engineers. Trust me, I worked at an IT company and I know how these guys operate.

tinu, you shouldn't take offense to someone not knowing what a pharmacist does because most people think pharmacists just stuff pills into a bottle all day.

 

[BMBiology]

This guy is a SW engineer:

http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-santa-divorce27-2008dec27,0,1591349.story

Need I say more?

 

[ItsOverZyvox]

I understand that there was red flag. I can see that.
But the reason I posted this Q here is how do you deal with people that are so ignorant? I'm not saying that they should know the drugs but he didn't seem to really know what a pharmacist is, or have any general idea of what they do. That is something I didn't know how to handle.

There is a technique called "mirroring" in human interaction. Some are natural at it. Usually, compatible couples mirror each other and can finish each others sentences.

You mirror someone by picking up their accent, body language, and posture and duplicate it..of course to do this on purpose is not easy yet when done naturally, the person being mirrored becomes more drawn.

With this guy, I would ask the same questions he asked me... with a smile and a same tone of voice. If he's smart, he'll learn that how ridiculous and inappropriate his questions were... but I seriously doubt it.

 

[tinu]

^^^ Not most guys but most SW engineers. Trust me, I worked at an IT company and I know how these guys operate.
Tinu, you shouldn't take offense to someone not knowing what a pharmacist does because most people think pharmacists just stuff pills into a bottle all day.

Ya, we all have experienced or heard stories of how customers humiliate pharmacists in chain p'cies.
I think, you are right. No, I don't mind explaining what a pharmacist does. I found it unbelievable for an educated person to not know what a pharmacist does. Yes, I feel offended when people think that I 'lick and stick'. I don't need to go to school to 'learn' that. But yes, I think I need to learn not take it personally.

 

[tinu]

Thank you everyone for your replies.

 

[FLpk1girl86]

First of all... guys rarely care about what a girl does for a living. In fact I would say pharmacist is a huge step up in terms of occupation from most of the women he probably has dated considering he's just an engineer and not like CEO or something.

I think he might be a little threaten though... he may feel like he isn't the "man" of the relationship so that might be why he is belittling your occupation a bit saying it is "easy." But I guess its hard to say without really knowing his facial expression and tone.

He could also just be a typical "nerd" so he just doesn't know what to say in front of a girl and change topics to other things, so he is just asking you bunch of questions about the first thing that came up and that is usually "what do you do?" Something to keep away from awkward silence.

I think you should just change the topic after giving him basic information like where you work and telling him you make sure there are no adverse drug interactions, etc etc. Probably not a good idea to get into specific details and ramble on about pharmacy. If he keeps nosing in on pharmacy than ask him why he is so curious about your profession.

why bother

 

[PharmersMarket]

Whoa there, you're only in pharmacy, not like medicine or something.

*sigh*

 

[FruitFly]

why bother

oh cmon Beatrice! I like hearing your advice.

Anyways, I agree with Zyvox. The original poster has to stop playing defense and ask questions of her own. It's very easy to turn the tables and show the questioner that his questions are inappropriate. Or, you could just tell him directly that you are not there to discuss the topic.