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The precordial thump works for Chuck Norris. Always.
 
GeneralVeers said:
I'm sick of Chuck Norris. Can't we talk about the In 'N Out residency, or Fatty McFattypants?
Click to expand...

sure...

fatty mcfattypants momma is so big, McDonald's has a special 'fatty size' fries for her.
 
GeneralVeers said:
I'm sick of Chuck Norris. Can't we talk about the In 'N Out residency, or Fatty McFattypants?
Click to expand...

A couple of years ago, someone at the In 'N Out residency program called Chuck Norris "Fatty McFattypants". Soon afterwards, that resident mysteriously died of a roundhouse kick-related death.
 
substanceP said:
A couple of years ago, someone at the In 'N Out residency program called Chuck Norris "Fatty McFattypants". Soon afterwards, that resident mysteriously died of a roundhouse kick-related death.
Click to expand...

What did Chuck Norris do when someone presented with a long QT? He roundhouse kicked the EKG machine and it naturally converted to normal sinus rhythm.
 
Chuck Norris does not do pelvics. He simply looks at the patient from the doorway, and knows the cause of her bleeding, discharge, funny smell and/or protruding object.

Of course if that fails, he kicks the ass of a medical student, fellow resident and/or nurse until they do it for him.

Then he spits at the vagina, which is more potent than rocephin/azithromycin/and flagyl combined.

Of course this also causes the patient to become pregnant, so he must kick her ass too.

This thread is so awesome....
 
So I'm rotating in EM at the University of Maryland and rumor here has it that in an act of benificence, Chuck Norris has donated the funds to create a new section of Shock Trauma that will bear his name, a center dedicated to the treatment of roundhouse kick related injuries. Unsurprisingly, the unit will not have a triage area and will consist only of a trauma bay, dedicated operating suite, and ICU beds. Originally the unit was going to have dedicated rooftop Helipad access, but the helipad has instead been replaced with a heavily padded rooftop bull's eye so that Chuck knows where to aim when he sends the hapless victims of his roundhouse kicks airborne.

The Chuck Norris Center For Treatment of Roundhouse Kick Related Injuries

...coming soon?
 
DocChez said:
So I'm rotating in EM at the University of Maryland and rumor here has it that in an act of benificence, Chuck Norris has donated the funds to create a new section of Shock Trauma that will bear his name, a center dedicated to the treatment of roundhouse kick related injuries. Unsurprisingly, the unit will not have a triage area and will consist only of a trauma bay, dedicated operating suite, and ICU beds. Originally the unit was going to have dedicated rooftop Helipad access, but the helipad has instead been replaced with a heavily padded rooftop bull's eye so that Chuck knows where to aim when he sends the hapless victims of his roundhouse kicks airborne.

The Chuck Norris Center For Treatment of Roundhouse Kick Related Injuries

...coming soon?
Click to expand...


also I heard of one being started in Cincinnatti - The Chuck Norris Center For Treatment of Roundhouse Kick Related Injuries for Children
 
I heard Chuck Norris was hired to build Shock Trauma - he carved it roudhouse kick after roudhouse kick from a large block of stone...
 
if chuck norris ever became a PD he'll come to med students resucue by roundhouse kicking all the missing SLORs out of the designated attendings.
 
Chuck was brought in today for some consulting at a local hospital today. Per recommendation all of the hospital stetchers will now double as "total-gym" machines.

he even demonstrated

see here
www.totalgymdirect.com
 
NinerNiner999 said:
I heard Chuck Norris was hired to build Shock Trauma - he carved it roudhouse kick after roudhouse kick from a large block of stone...
Click to expand...

Yeah, right. And Johns Hopkins WAS the best medical school until Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked your precious dome from its foundation and ate up all of your professors.

Chuck Norris would never BUILD a trauma center. Level one trauma is just too damned scared to occur anywhere near him.

On one occasion, I asked Chuck for help during a trauma intubation. While thumping me in the head for being too slow, he tiger-clawed my poor patient's trachea out of his throat and then roundhouse kicked the tube through the cords with his other free leg.
 
DocChez said:
So I'm rotating in EM at the University of Maryland and rumor here has it that in an act of benificence, Chuck Norris has donated the funds to create a new section of Shock Trauma that will bear his name, a center dedicated to the treatment of roundhouse kick related injuries. Unsurprisingly, the unit will not have a triage area and will consist only of a trauma bay, dedicated operating suite, and ICU beds. Originally the unit was going to have dedicated rooftop Helipad access, but the helipad has instead been replaced with a heavily padded rooftop bull's eye so that Chuck knows where to aim when he sends the hapless victims of his roundhouse kicks airborne.

The Chuck Norris Center For Treatment of Roundhouse Kick Related Injuries

...coming soon?
Click to expand...

I heard that it would be a division of the Maryland Organ Procurement Center.
 
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