Struggling MS1

[MedEpi2020]

Hello guys, I'm looking for honest opinions and advice. I'm in a system based school in my second block, which includes Physiology, Anatomy, Embryo, Histo and Clinical Skills. No matter how hard I study I'm always below average, sometimes close to the very bottom. I failed two Physio tests and couldn't get more than a C in the others, which was really frustrating since most of the times I feel like I really know the material. The last Physio test, which is in two weeks, determines wether I pass or have to remediate. At first I was going through depression after a breakup and thought that it was that, but I've tried everything: going to the counselor, talking with professors, changing up study habits, and I still keep getting the same mediocre grades. Something that really scares me is that my school uses NBME question banks for our tests, so basically every single test that I have is like a Shelf exam or a mini Step 1, which makes me think that I won't be able to pass Step 1 next year. I love medicine, I really do and I try to keep positive, but I just feel so defeated everytime I get a low grade after putting all my effort in. If this happened from time to time, I wouldn't mind, but having low grades constantly makes me feel so incompetent.

I've started to question if I really have what it takes to be a doctor. I'm in a low tier US school and had a low MCAT and GPA. I got accepted my second time applying. I'm tired of feeling straight up stupid. I know that struggling is normal, but I'm tired of struggling ALL the time. I've felt very depressed and anxious and I'm asking myself if it's all worth it. But as I said before, I love medicine and would do anything to achieve my goal of becoming a physician.

Is there any success story of struggling in 1st year and doing well afterwards?

Any advice?

What can I do to keep motivated?


*Sorry for the rant, I needed to vent

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[Save a life]

I'm not in med school yet so take what I say with a grain of salt. I don't think you should give up on medicine. They let you in and you can pass those classes. From what I've heard other people say is that if one approach isn't working, try another. You might have to totally change up how you study. Try finding some people who are doing really well and replicate exactly what they're doing. It might come down to focusing on high yield material and practice tests.

 

[Doctor Strange]

Are you able to review your exams? What are you getting wrong? Are you short on time?

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[MedEpi2020]

Are you able to review your exams? What are you getting wrong? Are you short on time?

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G900A using SDN mobile

 

[MedEpi2020]

That's the thing, we are not able to review the test. It's not the school, it's just that the NBME doesn't disclose what you got wrong. It sucks, I know that I would benefit soooooo much, since most of the times I have no idea what I did wrong. I practice a lot with Kaplan Q bank and UWorld and I do alright. I think it's more of a test taking problem. Many times I'm stuck in between two or I get insecure of an answer later. I don't know..

 

[Doctor Strange]

That's the thing, we are not able to review the test. It's not the school, it's just that the NBME doesn't disclose what you got wrong. It sucks, I know that I would benefit soooooo much, since most of the times I have no idea what I did wrong. I practice a lot with Kaplan Q bank and UWorld and I do alright. I think it's more of a test taking problem. Many times I'm stuck in between two or I get insecure of an answer later. I don't know..

I didn't have NBME subject tests like this for pre-clinicals, but the best advice I can give is to go with your gut. Most of the NBME style questions are not trying to trick you. Don't read into the question too much. If they tell you something, take it for a fact, and don't jump to conclusions. You end up in a dark hole if you do that and start thinking "well, what if they mean this" or "what if this implies that..." Do UWorld so that it doesn't give you the answer right away and then check your % "changed right to wrong." If it's a high percentage, then you know that you should always go with your gut.

 

[The Knife & Gun Club]

That sucks, Im sorry to hear it. I dont got to an NBME question school, but one pro Ive heard for schools that use those Q-banks is that there is a ton of available practice questions.

Personally, I swear by BRS (PM me if you want the BRS PDF's). First aid Q&A has questions too, and I've heard good things about firecracker. "PreTest" also has some good practice questions.

 

[Goro]

Well, something is clearly wrong, and you're going all of the right things, so this is puzzling.

Have you gone to your school's learning or education center yet?
Are you trying to learn last fact? That won't wok. Do you at least try to grasp The Big Picture? If so, start there, and work downward into the importance concepts.

Is there something organic underlying all of this? ADD? Depression? Anxiety?

What is your best subject? Does what you do with that unique to that subject? Or have you applied it to your weakest subjects?

Are you running out of time on exams?

With my students, the strugglers fall into two camps: one who struggle for about a 1/3rd to 1/2 of the Fall MSI semester, until they figure out the right system for med school (which is typically NOT what they used in UG).

The others, sadly, are more like your phenotype. They go to the bottom of the class, and stay there. They are the ones most at risk of taking LOA, being dismissed, or withdrawing. Now, the most common factor with them is that they have unresolved mental health issues. Due to your depression, I suspect that this are still the major roadblock to your success.


The second most common cause of struggling is some outside life even distracting them (dad gets cancer; SO is stepping out on them, kids acting out in school etc). So, how's your life and family doing? If this is an issue, then you need to work on coping skills.

The third most common cause is a physical health issue.

All in all, based upon your brief info, I recommend taking a LOA and going to fix what's broken. What I worry about is that you're on the path to either be dismissed, or fail StepI.

At my school, it's very rare that a struggling student will blossom in MSII.

You have my sympathies. I hope that things will turn around. PM me if needed.

Hello guys, I'm looking for honest opinions and advice. I'm in a system based school in my second block, which includes Physiology, Anatomy, Embryo, Histo and Clinical Skills. No matter how hard I study I'm always below average, sometimes close to the very bottom. I failed two Physio tests and couldn't get more than a C in the others, which was really frustrating since most of the times I feel like I really know the material. The last Physio test, which is in two weeks, determines wether I pass or have to remediate. At first I was going through depression after a breakup and thought that it was that, but I've tried everything: going to the counselor, talking with professors, changing up study habits, and I still keep getting the same mediocre grades. Something that really scares me is that my school uses NBME question banks for our tests, so basically every single test that I have is like a Shelf exam or a mini Step 1, which makes me think that I won't be able to pass Step 1 next year. I love medicine, I really do and I try to keep positive, but I just feel so defeated everytime I get a low grade after putting all my effort in. If this happened from time to time, I wouldn't mind, but having low grades constantly makes me feel so incompetent.

I've started to question if I really have what it takes to be a doctor. I'm in a low tier US school and had a low MCAT and GPA. I got accepted my second time applying. I'm tired of feeling straight up stupid. I know that struggling is normal, but I'm tired of struggling ALL the time. I've felt very depressed and anxious and I'm asking myself if it's all worth it. But as I said before, I love medicine and would do anything to achieve my goal of becoming a physician.

Is there any success story of struggling in 1st year and doing well afterwards?

Any advice?

What can I do to keep motivated?


*Sorry for the rant, I needed to vent

Even with NBME exam Qs, they give hints as to where your weakest areas are. And your Faculty should be able to fish these out to a better degree in order to help you.

That's the thing, we are not able to review the test. It's not the school, it's just that the NBME doesn't disclose what you got wrong. It sucks, I know that I would benefit soooooo much, since most of the times I have no idea what I did wrong. I practice a lot with Kaplan Q bank and UWorld and I do alright. I think it's more of a test taking problem. Many times I'm stuck in between two or I get insecure of an answer later. I don't know..

 

[PugsAndHugs]

I'm also an MS1 at a school with NBME exams. I REALLY struggled at first with medical school and was a little depressed so I know exactly what you're going through. It was around 5 months of school in I sort of figured what works for me.

Firstly, since I have NBME exams, what helped me immensely is transitioning from focusing on lectures to focusing on board oriented material. I find that lectures take over triple the time to teach you the same thing a board resource would teach, and lectures include a lot of extra detail that you don't need to know. Thus to sum up exactly what I do, I see what the topic of the lecture is, learn it from an external source (for ex Micro = Sketchy, Pathology = Pathoma), then I look at first aid to make sure I didn't miss anything, then I flip through the lecture slides to make sure I covered the main points. This has worked great for me once I got the hang of it.

Next, just because you went through the material, doesn't mean you will remember it. Thus, I'm a big fan of anki. Make/Use pre-made cards IMMEDIATELY after you finish a lecture/topic. This basically ensures that you will remember it in the long term and prevents you from waisting time passively reading notes and reviewing.

I doubt this is the major reason why you're not doing well, but NBME exams are RETIRED board questions, I notice some of them aren't complex clinical vignettes, the questions are pretty straight forward. Thus using UWorld now could not give you a great representation of the type of questions you would see on the NBME (although you can use the explanations as a learning tool) . Also if you feel like Kaplan Qbank questions arent representative, you can switch to USMLERx, which I find are very representative to the NBMEs I get.

Lastly, figure out what type of learner you are and stick to it. I am strictly a auditory/visual learner, I NEED videos to learn. The thought of reading a book to learn gives me anxiety and I hope I can get away with just using videos/lectures for all of medical school.

Also, at my school, we are not able to go over the exams and they don't voluntarily give you NBME feedback, but when I met with my advisor they were in fact able to tell me what my weakest and strongest subjects on the NBME were, so that is definitely worth looking into. I hope it gets better for you, good luck!!

 

[DocWinter]

You're in a tough place and now you're on your heels, having not yet found the gear to get you out of this hole. The classmates i know who were in the bottom 1st semester either didnt make it and remediated, or stayed there and struggled come boards.
Sounds like your future will be determined in a couple weeks. If you have to remediate, reset and recharge. If you make it, i can only offer that you find a way to study for the test and hope next semester you have more confidence. It sucks to go on every day feeling inadequate, which is commen in medical training

 

[Alienman52]

Hello guys, I'm looking for honest opinions and advice. I'm in a system based school in my second block, which includes Physiology, Anatomy, Embryo, Histo and Clinical Skills. No matter how hard I study I'm always below average, sometimes close to the very bottom. I failed two Physio tests and couldn't get more than a C in the others, which was really frustrating since most of the times I feel like I really know the material. The last Physio test, which is in two weeks, determines wether I pass or have to remediate. At first I was going through depression after a breakup and thought that it was that, but I've tried everything: going to the counselor, talking with professors, changing up study habits, and I still keep getting the same mediocre grades. Something that really scares me is that my school uses NBME question banks for our tests, so basically every single test that I have is like a Shelf exam or a mini Step 1, which makes me think that I won't be able to pass Step 1 next year. I love medicine, I really do and I try to keep positive, but I just feel so defeated everytime I get a low grade after putting all my effort in. If this happened from time to time, I wouldn't mind, but having low grades constantly makes me feel so incompetent.

I've started to question if I really have what it takes to be a doctor. I'm in a low tier US school and had a low MCAT and GPA. I got accepted my second time applying. I'm tired of feeling straight up stupid. I know that struggling is normal, but I'm tired of struggling ALL the time. I've felt very depressed and anxious and I'm asking myself if it's all worth it. But as I said before, I love medicine and would do anything to achieve my goal of becoming a physician.

Is there any success story of struggling in 1st year and doing well afterwards?

Any advice?

What can I do to keep motivated?


*Sorry for the rant, I needed to vent

Sorry to hear this is happening to you. I'm also a bit worried that I won't be able to handle med school. I have a 501 MCAT and 3.37sgpa. What were your undergrad stats when you applied?


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[Affiche]

Hello guys, I'm looking for honest opinions and advice. I'm in a system based school in my second block, which includes Physiology, Anatomy, Embryo, Histo and Clinical Skills. No matter how hard I study I'm always below average, sometimes close to the very bottom. I failed two Physio tests and couldn't get more than a C in the others, which was really frustrating since most of the times I feel like I really know the material. The last Physio test, which is in two weeks, determines wether I pass or have to remediate. At first I was going through depression after a breakup and thought that it was that, but I've tried everything: going to the counselor, talking with professors, changing up study habits, and I still keep getting the same mediocre grades. Something that really scares me is that my school uses NBME question banks for our tests, so basically every single test that I have is like a Shelf exam or a mini Step 1, which makes me think that I won't be able to pass Step 1 next year. I love medicine, I really do and I try to keep positive, but I just feel so defeated everytime I get a low grade after putting all my effort in. If this happened from time to time, I wouldn't mind, but having low grades constantly makes me feel so incompetent.

I've started to question if I really have what it takes to be a doctor. I'm in a low tier US school and had a low MCAT and GPA. I got accepted my second time applying. I'm tired of feeling straight up stupid. I know that struggling is normal, but I'm tired of struggling ALL the time. I've felt very depressed and anxious and I'm asking myself if it's all worth it. But as I said before, I love medicine and would do anything to achieve my goal of becoming a physician.

Is there any success story of struggling in 1st year and doing well afterwards?

Any advice?

What can I do to keep motivated?


*Sorry for the rant, I needed to vent

I'm sorry you're going through such a tough time.

The first thing you need to realize is that you are not defined by a few grades. Everyone feels like they are struggling at some point, and everyone struggles with feeling incompetent at some point, too. You just have to put what happened behind you and move on.

How have you been studying? I agree with @PugsAndHugs- I swear by Anki. It really holds you accountable for knowing your facts cold. I'm also a big fan of the Rx q bank, so maybe give that a try.

For an anecdote: one of my best friends in school nearly failed out first semester and he's straight killin' it now. I know he started using textbooks more instead of relying on lectures and now uses Anki, too. It worked for him, at least.

Good luck!

 

[Aonyx]

I did very well during MS1 and 2. For me it came down to:

1. Finding a study strategy that works. Abandoning strategies that don't work. It might not be the same for every class. I had to make flash cards by hand and I reviewed the lectures on my iPad. It might be different for you.

2. Realize and be okay with the fact that you can't know everything about the material. You can't. Its not possible to know everything. This was a big point of anxiety for me. You really only need to know enough to eliminate some answer choices. It takes time to figure out how much that is.

3. This is key. Develop a test taking strategy. You might have an advantage in that the NBME tests should be mostly standardized, thus you won't have to learn a different testing style for each class. They're probably not trying to trick you. When I approach a question, I immediately try to figure out what concept is being tested. There is usually one key point that the question is evaluating you on. If it seems like they're testing you on 5 separate disparate concepts, reread the question and figure out what is important from it. Don't let pointless fluff distract you. I found that at least 2 or 3 answers could be eliminated just with a very basic understanding of the concepts and the remaining choices required a little more reasoning. Also, if one answer choice jumps out at you as being the right answer, go with it. You are probably right. Don't second guess yourself. Don't change answers. Yeah you might miss one or two that way, but you're more likely to change a right answer to a wrong answer, especially if you have a lot of test anxiety.

Good Luck to you. Don't be afraid to ask for help.

 

[MedEpi2020]

I didn't have NBME subject tests like this for pre-clinicals, but the best advice I can give is to go with your gut. Most of the NBME style questions are not trying to trick you. Don't read into the question too much. If they tell you something, take it for a fact, and don't jump to conclusions. You end up in a dark hole if you do that and start thinking "well, what if they mean this" or "what if this implies that..." Do UWorld so that it doesn't give you the answer right away and then check your % "changed right to wrong." If it's a high percentage, then you know that you should always go with your gut.

 

[MedEpi2020]

Thank you for your advice
Thank you for your advice

 

[ab84fan]

OP I was in a very similar position to you. Firecracker saved my career, please use it.

 

[BeddingfieldMD]

I sympathize greatly with your situation. You at least recognize that you're in a tough spot, but unfortunately nothing thus far seems to have worked.

Goro's post above hit the nail on the head. I knew several students in my class in similar situations. Some eventually dropped out (or were dismissed) and did other things. A couple hung on, but always at the bottom, and failed a couple times at matching into their desired specialties until ultimately matching into a different one--a not-so-bad outcome all things considered. I know some people who had similar issues as students, made it to residency, and then had issues managing the demands of residency and still making minimum grades on their in-service training exams and such.

Whatever you do, you need to figure out what's going on ASAP and fix the problem. Goro mentioned several possibilities that should all be explored. If you don't right this ship, you definitely are at risk of getting kicked out (after several rounds of remediation, etc.) or at best graduating--but never being in the driver's seat. By that I mean barely passing, taking whatever residency you can get into it regardless of what you really want to do, and then having similar outcomes in residency and being at risk of not being able to get fellowships or potentially getting dismissed from residency.

I don't say this to scare you needlessly, but rather to encourage you to figure this out as early as possible.

Are you doing well in med school aside from the shelf exams? Are you running out of time on the exams, or do you feel rushed? Do you do much better at home on the practice exams?

You're correct that the shelf exams are frequently a good predictor of how you'll do on Step 1. Have you done an USMLE practice exams? How are you doing on those? How is your time management?

 

[mavric1298]

Sounds like you are taking the right steps, and I think Goro outlined some good questions. Really work to figure out the reasoning behind the poor performance - for if you don't know what the problem is, you can't solve it. It sounds like more of a process issue though then a learning/material issue. Test taking strategies could be a huge thing. Personally I have had bad ADHD my whole life, and have had testing accommodations in the latter part of my return to UG; quite room and extended time. What I found was by not having the pressure of fearing running out of time, I was doing markedly better. I'm to the point now where I don't even use my extended time, but by releasing the anxiety and pressure, I got more comfortable. I ended not not using or applying for accommodations on MCAT, and performed well. It was a cyclical thing; I had a bad test, which made me nervous, which made me do worse on subsequent tests, which made things worse, etc etc etc. Once I broke the cycle, things fell into place.

I think it's also important to keep in mind, that by definition, half of the class is going to be below average (well okay median not mean - but basically the same thing). By this fact alone, you need to also be willing to give yourself a break if you're not always performing at the top of the class. The people that are in med school all got there because they are smart and hardworking (including yourself)...so it's not like undergrad. There needs to be somewhat of a recalibration of expectations. That isn't to say you should be challenging yourself to try to be at the top of the class, but you just have to be honest of where you actually stand.

 

[MedEpi2020]

I'm only at risk of remediating Physio. I understand the material well and do better practicing at home with Q-banks. That's why I'm so frustrated. All of my tests are mini shelf exams (NBME). I'm just really worried about not performing well in tests, since I know that this will be a lifetime of test taking.

I'm tired of feeling like I'm barely "surviving" ALL the time.

I sympathize greatly with your situation. You at least recognize that you're in a tough spot, but unfortunately nothing thus far seems to have worked.

Goro's post above hit the nail on the head. I knew several students in my class in similar situations. Some eventually dropped out (or were dismissed) and did other things. A couple hung on, but always at the bottom, and failed a couple times at matching into their desired specialties until ultimately matching into a different one--a not-so-bad outcome all things considered. I know some people who had similar issues as students, made it to residency, and then had issues managing the demands of residency and still making minimum grades on their in-service training exams and such.

Whatever you do, you need to figure out what's going on ASAP and fix the problem. Goro mentioned several possibilities that should all be explored. If you don't right this ship, you definitely are at risk of getting kicked out (after several rounds of remediation, etc.) or at best graduating--but never being in the driver's seat. By that I mean barely passing, taking whatever residency you can get into it regardless of what you really want to do, and then having similar outcomes in residency and being at risk of not being able to get fellowships or potentially getting dismissed from residency.

I don't say this to scare you needlessly, but rather to encourage you to figure this out as early as possible.

Are you doing well in med school aside from the shelf exams? Are you running out of time on the exams, or do you feel rushed? Do you do much better at home on the practice exams?

You're correct that the shelf exams are frequently a good predictor of how you'll do on Step 1. Have you done an USMLE practice exams? How are you doing on those? How is your time management?

 

[f4reignbeauty]

Sorry to hear this is happening to you. I'm also a bit worried that I won't be able to handle med school. I have a 501 MCAT and 3.37sgpa. What were your undergrad stats when you applied?


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I don't think undergrad stats are as important once you've began medical school. There are a few individuals who did extremely well in undergrad, and it wasn't until they got to medical school that things such as insecurity, test anxiety and the like crept up on them. Sometimes, that in itself is crippling, and it can affect whether someone is able to really do well. I agree with the advice above, though, having a study group who held me accountable helped me to transition well to medical school.

For OP, I am really sorry to hear about your challenges, and I hope things will get better. I had similar thoughts/feelings as you did during my first year. If you ever want someone to talk to, feel free to PM me.

 

[W19]

I'm only at risk of remediating Physio. I understand the material well and do better practicing at home with Q-banks. That's why I'm so frustrated. All of my tests are mini shelf exams (NBME). I'm just really worried about not performing well in tests, since I know that this will be a lifetime of test taking.

I'm tired of feeling like I'm barely "surviving" ALL the time.

Since your school uses NBME exams, don't use power point presentations to study; use step1 prep material/books (kaplan/BRS/FA) and do ton of questions. That what saved in MS1.

 

[68PGunner]

It's honestly test taking strategies considering that I do better on tests than some of the people that I know who seem to be very smart.

On a given test, 70-75% of the quests are straight up 1st orders that should have 90-95% yield in term of being correct. Of the 25-30% of the other quests, I can always narrow it down to 2 answer choices with 2 being straight up stupid. Also, for dense quests, scan for gimmes that should usually clue you in to a certain answer. Don't get distracted by a bunch of minutuae bs that can be lined up with a bunch of other diseases. It was a tough sludge fest in the beginning, but med school really isn't that bad once you're settled in.

 

[MedEpi2020]

Hi guys,

I wanted to tell you all that I passed my test. No remediation for me. I ended up finishing all my classes with B's. No C's and no remediation in any class. I started doing better when I realized that the extra stress was making everything worse and tried to relax and just focus on how much I was learning.

I also learned to not let the test averages deter me. I realized that there are a lot of factors that skew the mean. First, we're a small class and many of my classmates had masters where they took exactly the same 1st year medical courses (this gives them advantage) We even have a few classmates that are repeating the year. Also, even though our tests are NBME, many times they can't find enough questions to make an exam and repeat the same question multiple times which can really hurt your grade if you happen to miss that little detail (some tests have only 25 questions and there goes your grade!)

I also started to study with a group of close friends which has been very helpful. And finally, I distanced myself from anything that was making me sad, as I was still communicating with my ex.

Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that I'm doing better now and that I really appreciate your messages.

Thank you so much

 

[jcorpsmanMD]

Hi guys,

I wanted to tell you all that I passed my test. No remediation for me. I ended up finishing all my classes with B's. No C's and no remediation in any class. I started doing better when I realized that the extra stress was making everything worse and tried to relax and just focus on how much I was learning.

I also learned to not let the test averages deter me. I realized that there are a lot of factors that skew the mean. First, we're a small class and many of my classmates had masters where they took exactly the same 1st year medical courses (this gives them advantage) We even have a few classmates that are repeating the year. Also, even though our tests are NBME, many times they can't find enough questions to make an exam and repeat the same question multiple times which can really hurt your grade if you happen to miss that little detail (some tests have only 25 questions and there goes your grade!)

I also started to study with a group of close friends which has been very helpful. And finally, I distanced myself from anything that was making me sad, as I was still communicating with my ex.

Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that I'm doing better now and that I really appreciate your messages.

Thank you so much

Glad to hear this OP. Keep up the great work.

 

[Redpancreas]

Hello guys, I'm looking for honest opinions and advice. I'm in a system based school in my second block, which includes Physiology, Anatomy, Embryo, Histo and Clinical Skills. No matter how hard I study I'm always below average, sometimes close to the very bottom. I failed two Physio tests and couldn't get more than a C in the others, which was really frustrating since most of the times I feel like I really know the material. The last Physio test, which is in two weeks, determines wether I pass or have to remediate. At first I was going through depression after a breakup and thought that it was that, but I've tried everything: going to the counselor, talking with professors, changing up study habits, and I still keep getting the same mediocre grades. Something that really scares me is that my school uses NBME question banks for our tests, so basically every single test that I have is like a Shelf exam or a mini Step 1, which makes me think that I won't be able to pass Step 1 next year. I love medicine, I really do and I try to keep positive, but I just feel so defeated everytime I get a low grade after putting all my effort in. If this happened from time to time, I wouldn't mind, but having low grades constantly makes me feel so incompetent.
I've started to question if I really have what it takes to be a doctor. I'm in a low tier US school and had a low MCAT and GPA. I got accepted my second time applying. I'm tired of feeling straight up stupid. I know that struggling is normal, but I'm tired of struggling ALL the time. I've felt very depressed and anxious and I'm asking myself if it's all worth it. But as I said before, I love medicine and would do anything to achieve my goal of becoming a physician.

Is there any success story of struggling in 1st year and doing well afterwards?

Any advice?

What can I do to keep motivated?


*Sorry for the rant, I needed to vent

It sounds like this could be organic because the material in medical school is really not that difficult. You'll be surprised how a change in atmosphere can dramatically affect your performance on exams. It sounds like you're in a pretty bad one now and you need to first do your best to take yourself out of that. Learn to get up at a reasonable time, limit your caffeine intake if that's an issue, exercise regularly, and just schedule a regular time to be studying everyday. Medical school is not difficult and if you were accepted here, you can be as good as anyone. I know people who bombed the ACT/SAT, MCAT, went Carribbean and got great step scores. It's very possible to do well. Medical school is more about work ethic and attention to detail than it is about understanding abstract ideas. I also struggled first year (not to the extent you are unfortunately) due more to organic issues like going to bed late, being unproductive, depression for no particular reason, did quite better second year, and things worked out. The key for you I think is changing your environment. Are you close to your parents/support system? If so consider moving back for a little bit. Otherwise, try to make some lifestyle changes. Studying 24/7 is actually counterproductive as it prevents yourself from taking care of yourself.