Struggling with ungrad decision

[marie3459]

---

Members do not see this ad.

.

 

[Emiloo4]

Currently, I am a freshman in my first semester at Delaware Valley College studying Zoo Science on the pre-vet track. I like my courses here, but I don't like how limited the campus is in terms of dining, activities, fitness classes/gym, and not being walking distance from a town. Even more importantly, I miss my family so much. Most people don't understand this, but the people in my family are my best friends. In high school, I was somewhat of a homebody. I had (and still keep in contact) with a few close friends, and we hung out often, but my family has always been my #1 source of friendship, support, and love. I picked DelVal purely for its program and for the fact that I thought I'd like being somewhat far away (2 hours), but I hate it. I've been going home every weekend, and I love spending time with my family. I call my mom multiple times a day, and just miss her so much. I have gotten involved on campus; I've joined two clubs that I'm actively involved in, but I still wish I was home every day. So right now, I just applied as a transfer student to the University of Delaware for the sping semester into their pre-vet major. I won't know whether I got in or not for another 2 weeks, but if I got in, I'd be living at home and commuting (about a 30 minute drive) to the school. Next year I would most likely live on campus or in an apartment off campus, but I'd still be close to home. I know UD has a great pre-vet program as well as DelVal, but I really don't know what to do. I've talked to the counseling center at school about this, and the counselor said I should do what makes me happy, which I know will be being with my family. I really need some guidance here! Does anyone know of the pre-vet programs at either or both of the schools? And if I decide later on the vet school isn't for me, are there options for me at both of the schools so that I could get a job right after graduation? Help! I'm struggling here!

Um... to be honest where you take your pre-requisites is not a huge deciding factor. So I wouldn't worry about that part at all. And I'm not sure what you mean by options being available for jobs after graduation. You will get a degree at either place, and then it will be up to you to decide on a different career and apply to jobs. Some schools have resources to help with that, but your future is in your hands.

And I hope I'm not crossing a boundary here, but your post was slightly concerning to me about your happiness depending so much on your family. It is a rough transition (some more than others) when you go off to college and leave the people you've been with your whole life, but at some point you have to loosen the string a little. I completely understand where you're coming from as I come from a very close family as well. But just make sure you put yourself out there and discover who you are and what makes you tick as a person. That's the beauty of college. You get to discover who you really are and I wouldn't want you to miss out on the experience of gaining that independence. Just my opinion, but I thought I'd throw it out there. There's nothing wrong with being close to your family and enjoying the time you spend with them, but at some point you have to get out there on your own as well.

 

[that redhead]

Does anyone know of the pre-vet programs at either or both of the schools? And if I decide later on the vet school isn't for me, are there options for me at both of the schools so that I could get a job right after graduation?

What matters is not where you take your pre-reqs, but how you do in them. If you can do well in pre-reqs at either place, that's all that matters for the vet school aspect.

As for your options later on in life, that's really on you to research. It would be wise to have a back-up plan even if you do decide to pursue vet school because admissions is never really a guarantee.

 

[futurehealervet]

I agree with Emiloo. You should try getting used to being away from your family because I don't know where you live, but I'm assuming you won't be able to commute to vet school. Better to loosen the ties now instead of at vet school when you will already have a ton of stress from the workload.

 

[Trematode]

Go where makes you happy.

I would personally give it some more time to get used to being on your own.

I went to university with a few people who became dependant on going home every weekend. I did not have that option because I lived 9 hours away via bus. I made my free time interesting by working, volunteering and joining a bowling league.

I had a friend who hated her school because of the lack of activities and dining facilities. She transferred to a different school in the same city after 1 semester and loved it. She has been in love with it for the past 5 years she has been there.

A note to people who are not in university yet: do not pick a school solely on the program, reputation, etc. Pick a school that is appealing to you. Do an orientation. Pay attention to the vibes you get from the people you meet and the facilities you visit. Ask students what they like and do not like about their school. You will be a lot happier.

I had gotten into a school with a pre-vet track program (the only one around here). They did not have single dorm rooms or apartments. No public transportation. The attitudes of the pre-vet students I met on orientation were not like my own. The cafeteria was loud and unruly. I decided to get my pre-reqs at a school that I really liked but was further away.

 

[Museum Nerd]

Definitely agree with Emiloo that it is a rough transition to college but the transition to vet school is even more difficult and you need to look at building that independence now. But…. if you really feel that the school is not the place for you you're not as likely to do as well which will make getting accepted to Vet school even more difficult. Ultimately you do need to do what makes you happy and in a place that you will thrive.

 

[BlackDog17]

Everything that has been said here is excellent advice.

I would really recommend giving your school one more chance. The first semester of your freshman year is really the hardest: you're away from home for the first time, you're in a new place, you don't know many people, your classes are totally different from anything you've done in high school and suddenly you're expected to be 100% in charge of your own life. It's uncomfortable at first. It takes some getting used to. Often I've heard students who applied to transfer say that they regretted it because it was the same situation at their second school - they just needed time to adjust. So my recommendation would be to give your school another chance. Stay there until the end of the school year. If you're still truly unhappy, then go ahead and transfer.

I also agree that you need to let go of your family a little bit. College is all about becoming independent. Yes, it's hard at first, and it's perfectly normal to miss home. I was definitely homesick during my first year - I called home every single night just to hear my parents' voices. But if you get into the habit of going home every single weekend, and counting on moving back home as soon as possible, you're just feeding that dependence on your family. Most colleges offer fun events on the weekends - try staying on campus and checking a few of them out. Make an effort to put yourself out there more and make some awesome new friends who make you want to be at school. If vet school is truly what you want for yourself, you WILL have to be away from home eventually. It's better that you learn to be independent now, as an undergrad when it's okay to make mistakes, than struggling with homesickness in vet school when the program is 1000x more stressful.

As for which program is best, what others have already said is correct: you can do your pre-reqs anywhere. But I would also look beyond the pre-reqs. Some schools have additional courses and opportunities in the field that can really give you an edge on your vet school applications. For example, part of the reason I chose my university was because it had an awesome dairy management program and the state veterinary diagnostic lab was right on campus - both have given me awesome opportunities to get hands-on experience. I'd definitely recommend digging a little deeper and looking into what both schools have to offer outside of academics.

As for getting a job after college, and your "plan B", only you can make that decision. College is a great time to explore other interests outside your major. No matter which school you end up at, take classes that interest you even if they're not specifically "pre-vet". You may find that you take a liking to a field you'd never even considered before!

Ultimately, only you can make this decision. You're the only person who can decide which school will make you happier, and best help prepare you for the future.

 

[485501]

I agree with all the advice regarding where/what courses to take. You don't need to be a pre-vet (or even science) major to get into vet school, you just need to take the prerequisites. Go to a school that is right for you. As long as you try, you can get a good education at pretty much any college in the country.
I would recommend sticking with your current school for this year, and focusing on some fun classes next semester. Take something easy. Take something silly. Take something you're not sure if you're interested in. Take something that sounds totally bizzare. Take something that you can't believe you're getting college credit for. I'm a total biology nut, but some of the most fun I had in college was taking a course on superheroes in comics and other media, and you know what? That class taught me things about communication and thinking about morality that I think are useful in my everyday life. Don't think that you must take only classes that will obviously help you get into vet school - you're an undergrad, if ever there was a time to make a possibly stupid academic decision, now is that time.

 

[equineconstant]

Take something easy. Take something silly. Take something you're not sure if you're interested in. Take something that sounds totally bizzare. Take something that you can't believe you're getting college credit for. I'm a total biology nut, but some of the most fun I had in college was taking a course on superheroes in comics and other media, and you know what? That class taught me things about communication and thinking about morality that I think are useful in my everyday life. Don't think that you must take only classes that will obviously help you get into vet school - you're an undergrad, if ever there was a time to make a possibly stupid academic decision, now is that time.

👍 I took improv dance first semester freshman year, and I'm taking a Crime Fiction around the World class next semester. This is why I wanted to go to a liberal arts school. 😀

 

[Emiloo4]

👍 I took improv dance first semester freshman year, and I'm taking a Crime Fiction around the World class next semester. This is why I wanted to go to a liberal arts school. 😀

I took bowling 😎
(We have a bowling alley on campus... with a bar. Tuesdays and Thursdays were my favorite class days 😉 )

 

[BlackDog17]

I took bowling 😎
(We have a bowling alley on campus... with a bar. Tuesdays and Thursdays were my favorite class days 😉 )

That. Is. AWESOME!

I took Sea Kayaking last fall. 6 hours on the water every Wednesday afternoon, and a 3 day camping trip at the end of the course. It was a great way to take a break from all the science courses!

 

[BladeofGrass]

Hi marie,
I can totally relate to wanting to live closer to home and be near family. In fact, I lived at home through all my years in college (which was 5 years)! After a year of commuting in freshman year I tried to live on campus and tried to get out there and live a typical college life. It crashed and burned, and ultimately I had to do what I knew was best for me, which was to commute from home. It didn't have to do with the fact that I wasn't independent enough. I'm almost 24 now, live at home, and have complete independence from my family. To me it was worth it to commute to school to spend a few extra years with them. That being said, I also had other things that drew me to living at home (a job and pets come to mind 🙂).

I agree with the others above that you might need to give it a little more time to adjust. But everybody is different, and in my case living from home throughout college was the right decision (and I don't regret it one bit). I also don't think I'm any less prepared to go off to vet school because I lived at home. Ultimately, though, each person is different and you have to do what is right for you...probably hard to know what that is at this moment, but with more time I think you'll be able to tell 🙂

 

[Kpowell14]

Hi marie,
I can totally relate to wanting to live closer to home and be near family. In fact, I lived at home through all my years in college (which was 5 years)! After a year of commuting in freshman year I tried to live on campus and tried to get out there and live a typical college life. It crashed and burned, and ultimately I had to do what I knew was best for me, which was to commute from home. It didn't have to do with the fact that I wasn't independent enough. I'm almost 24 now, live at home, and have complete independence from my family. To me it was worth it to commute to school to spend a few extra years with them. That being said, I also had other things that drew me to living at home (a job and pets come to mind 🙂).

I agree with the others above that you might need to give it a little more time to adjust. But everybody is different, and in my case living from home throughout college was the right decision (and I don't regret it one bit). I also don't think I'm any less prepared to go off to vet school because I lived at home. Ultimately, though, each person is different and you have to do what is right for you...probably hard to know what that is at this moment, but with more time I think you'll be able to tell 🙂

I too have lived at home during undergrad. I lived in the dorm my first year while on the softball team but once I decided softball wasn't what I wanted to do all 4 years, I moved back home and commuted to school.. I had an apartment for about 6 months ( long story short, a friend had a horrible roomie, and after she kicked her out she needed someone to help with rent, and I took the offer) then I moved home and have been here ever since. For me it was the best decision I ever made bc it allowed me to work and save money so that I will be graduating with Zero debt in 9 days 😀 with vet school tuition as high as it is, saving money and having no debt was very important to me and living at home made that possible. Thanks Mom and Dad 😀

 

[WolvesDragon55]

I also went to school near my home (partly because of the distance, and partly because I loved the school, it had tons of options for majors, activities, etc.). I lived on campus the first year because I wanted the experience, but moved back home after the first year. My studying habits and idea of a good time were just not the same as those at my school. I just decided I would be happier living at home rather than going home every weekend to avoid the party scene. It had nothing to do with dependence, just my own attitude.

My mom actually ended up moving out of the house just a couple weeks into my Sophomore year... so I got a house to myself, complete with my pets. It is so much cheaper for me to live on my own than on campus too, that it is just smarter financially. Now my friends come over to my house to get away from school for a bit, and I have the freedom to have a job, a car, my pets and live on my own. 🙂 Which is also a lot of work and responsibility, but definitely worth it.

 

[marie3459]

Hi marie,
I can totally relate to wanting to live closer to home and be near family. In fact, I lived at home through all my years in college (which was 5 years)! After a year of commuting in freshman year I tried to live on campus and tried to get out there and live a typical college life. It crashed and burned, and ultimately I had to do what I knew was best for me, which was to commute from home. It didn't have to do with the fact that I wasn't independent enough. I'm almost 24 now, live at home, and have complete independence from my family. To me it was worth it to commute to school to spend a few extra years with them. That being said, I also had other things that drew me to living at home (a job and pets come to mind 🙂).

I agree with the others above that you might need to give it a little more time to adjust. But everybody is different, and in my case living from home throughout college was the right decision (and I don't regret it one bit). I also don't think I'm any less prepared to go off to vet school because I lived at home. Ultimately, though, each person is different and you have to do what is right for you...probably hard to know what that is at this moment, but with more time I think you'll be able to tell 🙂

This is exactly what I am talking about. I don't want to go back home because I'm scared, or because I can't function on my own--I am very active in clubs and actually want to start a Rescue U chapter at my new school next semester. I also have a 4.0 GPA at my current school. It's just that I want to spend my time with the people that make me happy and go to a school that makes me happy. I'm also one of those people that takes joy in studying and doing homework, and I'm super turned off by the party scene. A lot of people don't get that I actually like studying and that I am actually best friends with my family members. I also toured the campus of the school I would be commuting from (University of Delaware) and I fell in love. It's gorgeous, and big, but not overwhelming, and I just realized that I would be so much happier there. So while I understand other people's concerns that I am depending on my family by going back home, I know that that is not what I am doing. I actually went to the counseling center at DelVal to talk to them about this. The counselor told me that what I have with my family is a beautiful thing, and that I should cherish that. I'm going to take her advice and go with my gut and transfer out of my school to commute from home. Thank you all for your insight 🙂 I am very very sure about my decision and I can't wait for next semester!

 

[orca2011]

This is exactly what I am talking about. I don't want to go back home because I'm scared, or because I can't function on my own--I am very active in clubs and actually want to start a Rescue U chapter at my new school next semester. I also have a 4.0 GPA at my current school. It's just that I want to spend my time with the people that make me happy and go to a school that makes me happy. I'm also one of those people that takes joy in studying and doing homework, and I'm super turned off by the party scene. A lot of people don't get that I actually like studying and that I am actually best friends with my family members. I also toured the campus of the school I would be commuting from (University of Delaware) and I fell in love. It's gorgeous, and big, but not overwhelming, and I just realized that I would be so much happier there. So while I understand other people's concerns that I am depending on my family by going back home, I know that that is not what I am doing. I actually went to the counseling center at DelVal to talk to them about this. The counselor told me that what I have with my family is a beautiful thing, and that I should cherish that. I'm going to take her advice and go with my gut and transfer out of my school to commute from home. Thank you all for your insight 🙂 I am very very sure about my decision and I can't wait for next semester!

You do know UDel has a huge party scene too, right?
And I realize you'll be living at home if you end up going there (at least for your first year there) but being around people who are into that scene is still something you're going to be confronted with. And it is possible to find friends who aren't into it. I was, but two of my roommates in college weren't and I still would hang out with them some weekends and they had a large group of friends who didn't go out either. A lot of schools will provide weekend late night activities for those who don't want to go out drinking. At least mine did.

And also, there is still sort of a party scene in vet school. No where like it was in college but it exists. Maybe that's just cause I'm in Philly and have a lot of options but it's still there. Each night of our orientation was spent out and we have happy hours every Friday on campus. Our frat house throws a number of parties throughout the year and we generally go out when we don't have exams.


And I'm not trying to persuade you or anything like that...you obviously have to do what is right for you. I guess I'm just trying to say that there are other options on campuses for things to do and that the party scene and people into it are always going to be around. Just because someone is into that doesn't mean they don't understand wanting to get good grades and the importance of family.

Btw, I think UDel is a great school. Actually applied there for a master's program and have a few friends from vet school who went there and several from Del Val.

 

[Gemgrrrl]

My personal advice would be to give it a full year before you decide to move back home. During that year, try to find things to do on or around campus on the weekends instead of going home. Get together with study group, join and exercise class, or some activity that you enjoy at the student rec center, or find a friend to go out and explore the town that you're in. Going home every weekend severely limits your ability to acclimate to your new living situation. You have to give yourself a chance to make new connections and build close friendships so that you will feel supported at your new school.

Learning to live away from home will be in your benefit in the long run. You may not get into the vet school of your choice, and end up having to move far from home to get into a program. If that happens, it will be much easier for you if you have practiced living away from home and establishing new connections. When you graduate from vet school, you might not find a job close to your family. You need to know how to develop a family of friends and community of your own.

There's nothing wrong with being close to your family, and it's completely normal to really miss them when you go off to college. Leaving the nest is uncomfortable, but necessary. That said, if after a year you feel like you've given it your best shot and you're still lonely and miserable, then by all means go back home. Just know that you're going to have to face that same challenge again in the very near future. I feel like you've spent this whole first semester waiting until the next time you can go home. That's natural, but I think once you get past that you'll be a lot happier where you are.

 

[EngrSC]

That. Is. AWESOME!

I took Sea Kayaking last fall. 6 hours on the water every Wednesday afternoon, and a 3 day camping trip at the end of the course. It was a great way to take a break from all the science courses!

My school has a bowling alley too.

I took an intro to tap dance class. I can't dance to save my life so it was interesting to say the least

 

[swingnsave]

My school has a bowling alley too.

I took an intro to tap dance class. I can't dance to save my life so it was interesting to say the least

wow y'all are lucky! the only activity courses we have at my school are raquetball, karate, swimming and yoga.

I took raquetball last year and it was a BLAST! signed up for yoga next semester 🙄
but I wish there was more of an option, but I do live in one of america's most obese cities. 🙁

 

[Impervious]

Hi Marie,
Please feel free to send me a private message if you do wish to discuss anything at all. I graduated from Delaware Valley College in May, and I am now at Purdue. I understand that you said your mind is made up, and I do not want to make you second guess yourself. I am just here if you would like to speak to someone who has been in a similar position.