I am probably not the only person on this forum that posted a problem on bullying. Well this is my story; I was teased in middle, high school and continue to still get teased by random people who I just meet. Its getting to the point where I am hating young adults and teens because of their absolute rudeness. I get constantly judged on my appearance and many people choose not to talk to me because of it, however there are people that do talk to me but its very slim I meet them. I have no friends and cannot stand people. I wanna know if I can still become a doctor because I really want to become one. There is nothing else I find interesting. Will I be able to get over this feeling ever? Do I need help? Can I ever go back to liking people? I honestly use to love people until the bullying started.
I'm going to try to break up my comment to directly address your concerns as best I can. Skip to 6 if you want to jump to what I think is your main concern.
1) I'm very sorry that you're having a rough time. We've all been on the receiving end of negative social attitude at some point, and having that go on for a while can be very emotionally taxing.
2)
Why do you think that you're being singled out? In my experience, and this could be completely unrelated to yours, problems like these usually stem from something about the person at the end of the ridicule. For example, not everyone who is very overweight is getting bullied. The people who are being bullied, again in my experience, have something on top of that which is what bullies see as a lightning rod. Maybe they have a skin condition, maybe they're rude, maybe their mother is a politician, etc. You mention an inability to make friends, and this adds to this concern for me. Unfortunately, social ostracism is a vicious cycle because it can lead to anti-social behaviors, leading to more social ostracism ("I ... cannot stand people"). In general, people are pretty tolerant these days, so I have a hard time believing that this issue is one-dimensional for you.
3. "Will I ever be able to get over this feeling ever?" - Perhaps, but your goal should be to try to address the issue before resigning yourself to 'getting over it,' which I think you're making a good try at here.
4. "Do I need help?" - Yes, you do. You wouldn't be here asking for advice if you didn't. A therapist is a universal option, but a socially competent close friend would be better at helping you day-to-day.
5. "Can I ever go back to liking people?" - Almost certainly yes! You say that there are rare people that do talk to you. I imagine that you don't loathe them, in general. That's a place to start. But even if nobody ever wanted to be around you, love for others is what drives many physicians. Many patients won't like what you're going to have them take or do, but you look past their frustration and value the positive impact that you have on their life anyhow. It's unlikely that you'll continue in this way forever, but if you do, it allows you to be so much more noble than many physicians ever get the opportunity to be. Imagine if a black doctor was caring for a racist population. We'd look at that person and think "Wow, what an incredible person. Inspirational. Love conquering hate."
--> You give yourself away at the end by saying "I honestly use to love people until the bullying started." You still love people. It's why their rejection is so painful. If someone random on the street tells me that they're never going to like me, my day is unchanged. Their opinion means nothing to me. However, if someone I love rejects me, that hurts deeply. Your heartbreak breaks my heart, too, but know that there is nothing more heroic than forgiving the people who wrong you. I'm not Christian, but I think one of the reasons Jesus' story is so compelling is that he looked at the people who tortured him and loved them no less. The most tragic thing you could do is to let ignorant or cruel people take your love for the world from you. Don't give them that power. You're the one in control of it.
6. "I wanna know if I can still become a doctor because I really want to become one. There is nothing else I find interesting." - There are a couple of things wrong with this quote. First, I'll put your mind at ease and reassure you that yes, you can still become a doctor. If you find that you can never improve your relationships with strangers (of any variety. You may well find a group like yourself who needs a doctor with a shared experience), there are plenty of specialties in which your exposure to new people is low. There are radiology and pathology careers aplenty for people who don't highly value frequent patient contact.
I just want to restate my first point, in case you forgot. I'm so incredibly sorry that you're going through this. I know it's hurtful, and I know it makes it hard to hold onto the person that you aspire to be. If my reply makes you feel like you owe me anything, please do me just one favor: Don't give up. There are more kind people in the world than there are cruel ones, believe me.
